My love story to share
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I am a 36 year old man and a successful professional. What i am going to tell u now is something which happened to me. But it is as though a lifelong dream never heard, never known, never seen , a love story around 10 -15 years ago. The whole affair was a self indulgent fantasy. The year was 1988 when i was in JC I fell in love with a gal in my class.
This years i wont forget for the rest of my life. It was a one sided love. She didnt have any feelings for me then. I was blindly and fruitlessly in love..We never went on dates, never went to the movies but yet i felt a kind of married to her feeling. I was obsessed like a madman. I confessed my love to her but for some reason she didnt took it seriously. As u know (any old guys here) those times girls come from strict families. After graduation I entered the dreaded NS with a heavy heart. During my 2 year stint there, i was not able to contact her and the last time of ever heard of her was that she entered the local U. Upoun ORD i had the grades to go to to the same Uni she went but because of my my 2 year NS, she was already in her 3rd year. That was in 1992. Initially i was happy as i could still see her and talk but the relationship was not that close like when we were in JC partly because we both were slightly older.
I proposed to her, and got turned down. Again i had the same feeling i had when entering the dreaded NS, a feeling of being lost when she graduated leaving to spend my 2 years there alone and in depression. Day and night i was thinking and thinking when the final blow came - she was about to get married when i was about to be graduated from Uni. Life was hell for me from then on. I became a drunkard and could not work even though i had a degree. In those times people could afford to do that because life in Singapore was rather simple. After a year, I pulled out of this mess when someone offered me a job in the US. Initially i had no heart to go, as i didnt want to live Singapore and leave behind the old memories. Memories which i cant let go but cant live with it either. I plunged into the decision and decided to go to US. From then there was no turning back. My decision to leave this country was wise. The change of environment,nature and people in fact helped me to get over my grief and failure in love. I stopped thinking about her after some time I left for the US in 1995 and only returned to singapore 3 times in 10 years.
Singapore was indeed changing quite fast and it was not like the olden times in the 80s. During one my visits here, I heard of her again through a close associate of mine. What i was about to hear came as the 2nd blow for me. The girl i loved and adored during my younger days I found out did not have a smooth life. Her husband was having affairs with other women and her marriage ended up in divorce and and bankruptcy. Then last year i tracked her down and met her. We had a decent talk over dinner. Being grown ups it was quite different now. She knew that some part of me has not died out, it's still there . She found that out in that conversation we had. For the first time i had that same feelings returning when i was younger. The same feelings of "never say die" attitude. I had lived with the hope and despair both in conflict for over 10 years for some corner in my heart i knew through Fate I will meet her again. it is just time which seems to be passing slow. Although i felt sad for her that things turned out this way, I wished i could helped her. But she is not the same person anymore. People do change as they grow older. Some for the better, some for the worst, yet some in unexplainable ways. I found again the same dilemna i had during my school days. The same feeling of helpnesses. Though some part of me was happy that i met her . Some part of me wanted to come out as the teen and early 20s guy i was before. But years have passed. The longing hasnt died out. At times it is good to expereince some deja vu and nostalgia to remind u of the past.
I just wish to tell this to the younger generation out there. The girls being materialistic and the guys in a dilemna . This is the current generational trend. things have changed compared to my time. The people have changed. The way this country is run is not the same as in the past. For both dont let your past failures get the better of u . They can consume u and yr life. Instead use it as a stepping stone to progress in life. The disappointment and anger i expereinced years ago were the driving factors in my life. Be spiritual , have compassion in your heart and soul in yr minds. . Most importantly have faith in things. keep your love close. Keep your Faith closer. Ultimately in the darkest hours, Faith will lead u. Money and material worth is not important to life. For just a survival means. Love should not be dependent on economics.
God's Love is this story, and I shall tell all who listen. God is with you and he will guide you to the one you love someday. Indeed he works in mysterious ways.
John
San Francisco, USA -
Why do you hold on to this for so long? Time waits for no man, move on...
Do not just focus on one tree when you can look at the entire forest... -
that's easy to say.Originally posted by rainee:Why do you hold on to this for so long? Time waits for no man, move on...
Do not just focus on one tree when you can look at the entire forest...
will u give up yr tree??
Time may heal the wound but pain still struck the heart. -
I used to have my eyes on this 'one big tree' until I couldn't see the rest of the forest.Originally posted by Kenashi:that's easy to say.
will u give up yr tree??
Time may heal the wound but pain still struck the heart.
I was hurt, I was depressed for two long years.
After a while, I decided that it wasn't worthwhile and that life must move on, if the other person doesn't care for me, why must I spend my whole life crying for him?
It wasn't easy...
But I made it out.
And I am glad I did.
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sometimes the leaves cant bear to leave the tree.Originally posted by rainee:Why do you hold on to this for so long? Time waits for no man, move on...
Do not just focus on one tree when you can look at the entire forest... -
where is the wind???Originally posted by alexkusu:sometimes the leaves cant bear to leave the tree.
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Gone, never see the movie mehOriginally posted by rainee:where is the wind???
"Gone with the wind" -
Do u knw.. Leaf departs because of chasing wind, or is it because Tree didnt ask it to stay?Originally posted by rainee:where is the wind??? -
Yes, I know...I have the story, let me post it here soonOriginally posted by alexkusu:Do u knw.. Leaf departs because of chasing wind, or is it because Tree didnt ask it to stay?
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Originally posted by Kenashi:Gone, never see the movie meh
"Gone with the wind" -
dont hijack this guy's thread laOriginally posted by rainee:Yes, I know...I have the story, let me post it here soon
. Go start new thread or what. This story is more like "Falling leaves return to their roots"
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No need la thenOriginally posted by alexkusu:dont hijack this guy's thread la . Go start new thread or what. This story is more like "Falling leaves return to their roots"
Where got return to the roots? Who is the leaf here, the girl or the guy? -
You looking for me?Originally posted by rainee:where is the wind??? 
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Originally posted by Mao x 2:
ok, relevant advice to the thread starter pls
[b]You looking for me?[/b] -
Let threadstarter answer that. Different ppl different roles. Me is Wind for the momment.Originally posted by rainee:No need la then
Where got return to the roots? Who is the leaf here, the girl or the guy?
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Quit that shit lah. The threadstarter has got an important message for all. basically about your life.
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Yes, I know that. And we are not posting s*it. We are trying to tell him that there are much more in life than to grieve and hurt so long for someone who does not care as much for him...Originally posted by About A GaL:Quit that shit lah. The threadstarter has got an important message for all. basically about your life. -
wat? Well, its better if you follow his example and post meaningful topics instead of your useless crap rite?Originally posted by About A GaL:Quit that shit lah. The threadstarter has got an important message for all. basically about your life. -
That man has made it in life and he is now in the US. The way u make it look like he is a loser? Dont think so its that way. If he stayed in Singapore because of emotional reasons, he could have been one. Basically he has stated he managed to overcome major emotional obstacles in life and made it big. He was truly in love with a woman who doesnt even know the true severity of it. The whole story is like kinda disturbing in a way. As though some mechanism of fate and life itself is at work which can have major influences in a person's life.Originally posted by rainee:Yes, I know that. And we are not posting s*it. We are trying to tell him that there are much more in life than to grieve and hurt so long for someone who does not care as much for him... -
I do not think he is a loser in life. He has made it big, yes, he is now successful in his career, but is he truly happy? Or is he still having the slightest hope that he will be with the girl one day?Originally posted by About A GaL:That man has made it in life and he is now in the US. The way u make it look like he is a loser? Dont think so its that way. If he stayed in Singapore because of emotional reasons, he could have been one. Basically he has stated he managed to overcome major emotional obstacles in life and made it big. -
Yes. the threadstarter is just trying to share his experiences with us.Originally posted by About A GaL:That man has made it in life and he is now in the US. The way u make it look like he is a loser? Dont think so its that way. If he stayed in Singapore because of emotional reasons, he could have been one. Basically he has stated he managed to overcome major emotional obstacles in life and made it big.
Don't think he will need any advice. -
well, tha tu got to ask him. Maybe he wanted to see her again and me being a literature student i can see some of his self undulgent fantasy was fulfilled. He initially stated he didnt went on dates or dinner with her during the old days buut now he finally got to. TouchingOriginally posted by rainee:I do not think he is a loser in life. He has made it big, yes, he is now successful in his career, but is he truly happy? Or is he still having the slightest hope that he will be with the girl one day? -
rite loh, he just sharing n voicing out his thoughts.Originally posted by Mao x 2:Yes. the threadstarter is just trying to share his experiences with us.
Don't think he will need any advice.
he is looking for listening ears not big mouths -
In most cases, people like him will be forever in love with the gal even though she can be married ect. aka self indulgent fantasies or some kind of nostalgic personality.
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isn't that sad?Originally posted by About A GaL:In most cases, people like him will be forever in love with the gal even though she can be married ect. aka self indulgent fantasies or some kind of nostalgic personality.