My love story to share
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I think u find u can click with him huh? Perhaps ur in a similar situation? Go start another thread if u likeOriginally posted by About A GaL:well, tha tu got to ask him. Maybe he wanted to see her again and me being a literature student i can see some of his self undulgent fantasy was fulfilled. He initially stated he didnt went on dates or dinner with her during the old days buut now he finally got to. Touching
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sad but fact. what to do. Let's say he didn take up the offer to go US because of emotional reasons he could have stayd here and rot just like the rest of us earning a meagre wage and significant parts of it being wasted on CPF.Originally posted by rainee:isn't that sad?
On the other hand maybe he wanted to leave this country t foget his painful memories which drived him to do so
lastly he could have also gone to US if he never had those painful incidents? i doubt so because during his time Sg was in its golden age and many prefered to stay here and not emigrate unlike now. As told by my father once.
and the man also stated that singapore has changed but did not state his views on it. Most probably a negative light is implied from the tone -
pls dont bring ur personal matter n infused it with his.Originally posted by About A GaL:sad but fact. what to do. Let's say he didn take up the offer to go US because of emotional reasons he could have stayd here and rot just like the rest of us earning a meagre wage and significant parts of it being wasted on CPF.
On the other hand maybe he wanted to leave this country t foget his painful memories which drived him to do so
lastly he could have also gone to US if he never had those painful incidents? i doubt so because during his time Sg was in its golden age and many prefered to stay here and not emigrate unlike now. As told by my father once.
and the man also stated that singapore has changed but did not state his views on it. Most probably a negative light is implied from the tone -
I think u people here know how painful rejection can be.
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This man is an example of a mild case study on human emotions and thinking when psychological delusions aka fantasies never get realised. In his case his fantasy was to be with the gal and expereince everything good but sadly didnt materalise. So he sought the road again without knowing himself to try to fulfill those fantasiies again. it is rather subjective whether his love was a delusion or the other way round where the love could be mistaken for delusion.
Usually people suffering from delusions reflected their various individual psychological difficulties and conflicts. Watch the movies "Unbreakable" or "The village" . ....a similar scenario is presented. In "Unbreakable" the crippled man thinks that superheroes walk the earth. -
what can I say, u r deludedOriginally posted by About A GaL:This man is an example of a mild case study on human emotions and thinking when psychological delusions aka fantasies never get realised. In his case his fantasy was to be with the gal and expereince everything good but sadlt didnt materalise. So he sought the road again without knowing himself to try to fulfill those fantasisies again. it is rather subjective whether his love was a delusion or the other way round where the love could be mistaken for delusion.
Usually people suffering from delusions reflected their various individual psychological difficulties and conflicts. Watch the movies "Unbreakable" or "The village" . ....a similar scenario is presented. In "Unbreakable" the crippled man thinks that superheroes walk the earth.
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It seems like ur criticising him n implying that he is delusional with his fantasies.
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The account of the man could be used as a literature material. As u know in literature if u guys agree with me , most of of the concept is also delusion where u attempt to explain every phenomenon in the story with possible rationales. In short a literature analyst is deluding himself too...
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Dear Love Story,
Oh dear, I'm gonna sound so heartless & cynical, & I humbly ask for your forgiveness if I sound like that
The moral of the story isn't about girls being materialistic, because guys have also changed since your time. Many (notice I did NOT say "all") guys of the new generation are spoiled babies who only know how to whine, & don't know the meaning of sheer hard work. They expect success, riches & recognition to fall into their laps. They are just as materialistic in wanting fast cars, club memberships, etc, & sometimes, Not to impress a woman, but to impress their peers.
When things don't go their way, they whine & gripe. They don't know the meaning of endurance, of gritting their teeth. They zi4 gan1 duo4 luo4, saying that there's No such thing as true love, all SG/HK/whatever country's girls are materialistic after 1 or 2 setbacks. They make women bashing a hobby.
I'm Not saying that there're No materialistic women, but this isn't restricted to SG. Look at China, look at HK, look at Australia, look at Hollywood! When guys woo a Hollywood babe, what do they get? Diamonds. BIG diamonds.
I feel that the moral of your story is something different. That sometimes, utter devotion to 1 lady does Not pay off. True, I admire your perseverence, but did you win the girl's heart in the end? Perhaps your story teaches others how to give yourself hope even though you may Not get the girl in the end. Ultimately, you wish her well, you want to help her, but you won't force her nor pressure her (by asking her incessantly) into being together with you. That, would be, a very admirable love.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Love Story:I am a 36 year old man and a successful professional. What i am going to tell u now is something which happened to me. But it is as though a lifelong dream never heard, never known, never seen , a love story around 10 -15 years ago. The whole affair was a self indulgent fantasy. The year was 1988 when i was in JC I fell in love with a gal in my class.
This years i wont forget for the rest of my life. It was a one sided love. She didnt have any feelings for me then. I was blindly and fruitlessly in love..We never went on dates, never went to the movies but yet i felt a kind of married to her feeling. I was obsessed like a madman. I confessed my love to her but for some reason she didnt took it seriously. As u know (any old guys here) those times girls come from strict families. After graduation I entered the dreaded NS with a heavy heart. During my 2 year stint there, i was not able to contact her and the last time of ever heard of her was that she entered the local U. Upoun ORD i had the grades to go to to the same Uni she went but because of my my 2 year NS, she was already in her 3rd year. That was in 1992. Initially i was happy as i could still see her and talk but the relationship was not that close like when we were in JC partly because we both were slightly older.
I proposed to her, and got turned down. Again i had the same feeling i had when entering the dreaded NS, a feeling of being lost when she graduated leaving to spend my 2 years there alone and in depression. Day and night i was thinking and thinking when the final blow came - she was about to get married when i was about to be graduated from Uni. Life was hell for me from then on. I became a drunkard and could not work even though i had a degree. In those times people could afford to do that because life in Singapore was rather simple. After a year, I pulled out of this mess when someone offered me a job in the US. Initially i had no heart to go, as i didnt want to live Singapore and leave behind the old memories. Memories which i cant let go but cant live with it either. I plunged into the decision and decided to go to US. From then there was no turning back. My decision to leave this country was wise. The change of environment,nature and people in fact helped me to get over my grief and failure in love. I stopped thinking about her after some time I left for the US in 1995 and only returned to singapore 3 times in 10 years.
Singapore was indeed changing quite fast and it was not like the olden times in the 80s. During one my visits here, I heard of her again through a close associate of mine. What i was about to hear came as the 2nd blow for me. The girl i loved and adored during my younger days I found out did not have a smooth life. Her husband was having affairs with other women and her marriage ended up in divorce and and bankruptcy. Then last year i tracked her down and met her. We had a decent talk over dinner. Being grown ups it was quite different now. She knew that some part of me has not died out, it's still there . She found that out in that conversation we had. For the first time i had that same feelings returning when i was younger. The same feelings of "never say die" attitude. I had lived with the hope and despair both in conflict for over 10 years for some corner in my heart i knew through Fate I will meet her again. it is just time which seems to be passing slow. Although i felt sad for her that things turned out this way, I wished i could helped her. But she is not the same person anymore. People do change as they grow older. Some for the better, some for the worst, yet some in unexplainable ways. I found again the same dilemna i had during my school days. The same feeling of helpnesses. Though some part of me was happy that i met her . Some part of me wanted to come out as the teen and early 20s guy i was before. But years have passed. The longing hasnt died out. At times it is good to expereince some deja vu and nostalgia to remind u of the past.
I just wish to tell this to the younger generation out there. The girls being materialistic and the guys in a dilemna . This is the current generational trend. things have changed compared to my time. The people have changed. The way this country is run is not the same as in the past. For both dont let your past failures get the better of u . They can consume u and yr life. Instead use it as a stepping stone to progress in life. The disappointment and anger i expereinced years ago were the driving factors in my life. Be spiritual , have compassion in your heart and soul in yr minds. . Most importantly have faith in things. keep your love close. Keep your Faith closer. Ultimately in the darkest hours, Faith will lead u. Money and material worth is not important to life. For just a survival means. Love should not be dependent on economics.
God's Love is this story, and I shall tell all who listen. God is with you and he will guide you to the one you love someday. Indeed he works in mysterious ways.
John
San Francisco, USA -
that is what u had been doing with ur previous posts. You can see an insect across the river, but u cant see the elephant in front of u.Originally posted by About A GaL:The account of the man could be used as a literature material. As u know in literature if u guys agree with me , most of of the concept is also delusion where u attempt to explain every phenomenon in the story with possible rationales. In short a literature analyst is deluding himself too... -
it is not really abnormal in his case unless if he starts talking about Aliens following him, the world is a Matrix ect ect. Now that is a psychological disorder. In his case this man is not in that category but similar in some ways.Probably he thinks he is a tormented soul , a soul which god sympthasises with. And he seems to live his past 10 = years in his own belief system influenced by those events in his life..He thinks something of great significance had happened to him when to us it is just something like a part and parcel of life which everyone goes thru.Originally posted by alexkusu:It seems like ur criticising him n implying that he is delusional with his fantasies.
A similar example is Samuel E.Jackson from "Unbreakable". He thinks he is special when there are others also like him around handicapped in a way. -
Hi Alex,
Actually, she does have a point, but there're other ways of seeing it:
Delusional Devoted Sweet Crazy Persistent Pest
Depending on what school of thought you subscribe to.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by alexkusu:It seems like ur criticising him n implying that he is delusional with his fantasies. -
but threadstarter post it so we can learn sth frm it. He has learned his mistakes, give up his 'delusions/fantasies' and post his experience here. I dont think he deserved further criticisms at this point. He has learned his lesson.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi Alex,
Actually, she does have a point, but there're other ways of seeing it: Delusional Devoted Sweet Crazy Persistent Pest
Depending on what school of thought you subscribe to.
FeowFeow
btw...she...is not a she... -
Feow Feow...Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi Alex,
Actually, she does have a point, but there're other ways of seeing it: Delusional Devoted Sweet Crazy Persistent Pest
Depending on what school of thought you subscribe to.
FeowFeow
"She" is a "He" la...
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Basically FeowFeow had hit right on the spot with her theory
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U could be wrong. He didnt state that he woken up from his delsuional fantasisies. In my opinion, it had become an "epic" in his life with a conclusion that is so simple it is quite disturbing for that he went thru conflicting hopes and despair for 10= years. He had dinner with her at last. Sounds like those mind bending thrillers of M Night Shymalan to me.Originally posted by alexkusu:but threadstarter post it so we can learn sth frm it. He has learned his mistakes, give up his 'delusions/fantasies' and post his experience here. I dont think he deserved further criticisms at this point. He has learned his lesson.
btw...she...is not a she... -
If u notice the whole story sounds like a self centred kind of thing. He never did explain much about his lady love. But only emphasised on his feelings.
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HAR?!
I thought got Gal in her nick she's a girl leh 
FeowFeowOriginally posted by alexkusu:but threadstarter post it so we can learn sth frm it. He has learned his mistakes, give up his 'delusions/fantasies' and post his experience here. I dont think he deserved further criticisms at this point. He has learned his lesson.
btw...she...is not a she... -
The story touches my heart!
R there really guys like that in *real* life??....... if i ever meet a guy like that so devoted
in love....i will NEVER EVER LET him go!
But again ...... maybe man will only treasure what they cannot get or lost......*sigh* -
Aiyer
How come everybody know but I dunno?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Mao x 2:Feow Feow...
"She" is a "He" la... -
Actually, the moral of the story isn't really a moral Materialism already existed during his time, especially the 1980s period & 1990s before the financial crisis
There are, however, other morals to his story
FeowFeowOriginally posted by alexkusu:but threadstarter post it so we can learn sth frm it. He has learned his mistakes, give up his 'delusions/fantasies' and post his experience here. I dont think he deserved further criticisms at this point. He has learned his lesson.
btw...she...is not a she... -
its all in the nick.......Originally posted by FeowFeow:Aiyer How come everybody know but I dunno?
FeowFeow -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:Aiyer How come everybody know but I dunno?
FeowFeow
he posted a thread about a gal last time so we know about it -
Hi Pinky,
It's really hard to say Frankly, I used to think that way, until I gana a guy like that, & it really gave me NIGHTMARES You don't want to get too close, afraid he'll get the wrong idea & later accuse you of leading him on. But when you keep your distance, he suffers, etc.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by pinkygal76:The story touches my heart!
R there really guys like that in *real* life??....... if i ever meet a guy like that so devoted
in love....i will NEVER EVER LET him go!
But again ...... maybe man will only treasure what they cannot get or lost......*sigh* -
too persistent liao until u scared he become possessive huh??Originally posted by FeowFeow:Hi Pinky,
It's really hard to say Frankly, I used to think that way, until I gana a guy like that, & it really gave me NIGHTMARES You don't want to get too close, afraid he'll get the wrong idea & later accuse you of leading him on. But when you keep your distance, he suffers, etc.
FeowFeow