Dear Love Story,
Oh dear, I'm gonna sound so heartless & cynical, & I humbly ask for your forgiveness if I sound like that

The moral of the story isn't about girls being materialistic, because guys have also changed since your time. Many (notice I did NOT say "all") guys of the new generation are spoiled babies who only know how to whine, & don't know the meaning of sheer hard work. They expect success, riches & recognition to fall into their laps. They are just as materialistic in wanting fast cars, club memberships, etc, & sometimes, Not to impress a woman, but to impress their peers.
When things don't go their way, they whine & gripe. They don't know the meaning of endurance, of gritting their teeth. They zi4 gan1 duo4 luo4, saying that there's No such thing as true love, all SG/HK/whatever country's girls are materialistic after 1 or 2 setbacks. They make women bashing a hobby.
I'm Not saying that there're No materialistic women, but this isn't restricted to SG. Look at China, look at HK, look at Australia, look at Hollywood! When guys woo a Hollywood babe, what do they get? Diamonds. BIG diamonds.
I feel that the moral of your story is something different. That sometimes, utter devotion to 1 lady does Not pay off. True, I admire your perseverence, but did you win the girl's heart in the end? Perhaps your story teaches others how to give yourself hope even though you may Not get the girl in the end. Ultimately, you wish her well, you want to help her, but you won't force her nor pressure her (by asking her incessantly) into being together with you. That, would be, a very admirable love.
FeowFeow
Originally posted by Love Story:
I am a 36 year old man and a successful professional. What i am going to tell u now is something which happened to me. But it is as though a lifelong dream never heard, never known, never seen , a love story around 10 -15 years ago. The whole affair was a self indulgent fantasy. The year was 1988 when i was in JC I fell in love with a gal in my class.
This years i wont forget for the rest of my life. It was a one sided love. She didnt have any feelings for me then. I was blindly and fruitlessly in love..We never went on dates, never went to the movies but yet i felt a kind of married to her feeling. I was obsessed like a madman. I confessed my love to her but for some reason she didnt took it seriously. As u know (any old guys here) those times girls come from strict families. After graduation I entered the dreaded NS with a heavy heart. During my 2 year stint there, i was not able to contact her and the last time of ever heard of her was that she entered the local U. Upoun ORD i had the grades to go to to the same Uni she went but because of my my 2 year NS, she was already in her 3rd year. That was in 1992. Initially i was happy as i could still see her and talk but the relationship was not that close like when we were in JC partly because we both were slightly older.
I proposed to her, and got turned down. Again i had the same feeling i had when entering the dreaded NS, a feeling of being lost when she graduated leaving to spend my 2 years there alone and in depression. Day and night i was thinking and thinking when the final blow came - she was about to get married when i was about to be graduated from Uni. Life was hell for me from then on. I became a drunkard and could not work even though i had a degree. In those times people could afford to do that because life in Singapore was rather simple. After a year, I pulled out of this mess when someone offered me a job in the US. Initially i had no heart to go, as i didnt want to live Singapore and leave behind the old memories. Memories which i cant let go but cant live with it either. I plunged into the decision and decided to go to US. From then there was no turning back. My decision to leave this country was wise. The change of environment,nature and people in fact helped me to get over my grief and failure in love. I stopped thinking about her after some time I left for the US in 1995 and only returned to singapore 3 times in 10 years.
Singapore was indeed changing quite fast and it was not like the olden times in the 80s. During one my visits here, I heard of her again through a close associate of mine. What i was about to hear came as the 2nd blow for me. The girl i loved and adored during my younger days I found out did not have a smooth life. Her husband was having affairs with other women and her marriage ended up in divorce and and bankruptcy. Then last year i tracked her down and met her. We had a decent talk over dinner. Being grown ups it was quite different now. She knew that some part of me has not died out, it's still there . She found that out in that conversation we had. For the first time i had that same feelings returning when i was younger. The same feelings of "never say die" attitude. I had lived with the hope and despair both in conflict for over 10 years for some corner in my heart i knew through Fate I will meet her again. it is just time which seems to be passing slow. Although i felt sad for her that things turned out this way, I wished i could helped her. But she is not the same person anymore. People do change as they grow older. Some for the better, some for the worst, yet some in unexplainable ways. I found again the same dilemna i had during my school days. The same feeling of helpnesses. Though some part of me was happy that i met her . Some part of me wanted to come out as the teen and early 20s guy i was before. But years have passed. The longing hasnt died out. At times it is good to expereince some deja vu and nostalgia to remind u of the past.
I just wish to tell this to the younger generation out there. The girls being materialistic and the guys in a dilemna . This is the current generational trend. things have changed compared to my time. The people have changed. The way this country is run is not the same as in the past. For both dont let your past failures get the better of u . They can consume u and yr life. Instead use it as a stepping stone to progress in life. The disappointment and anger i expereinced years ago were the driving factors in my life. Be spiritual , have compassion in your heart and soul in yr minds. . Most importantly have faith in things. keep your love close. Keep your Faith closer. Ultimately in the darkest hours, Faith will lead u. Money and material worth is not important to life. For just a survival means. Love should not be dependent on economics.
God's Love is this story, and I shall tell all who listen. God is with you and he will guide you to the one you love someday. Indeed he works in mysterious ways.
John
San Francisco, USA