The Agony Is Here
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Yah lorr, I FORCE myself
Anyway, big thank you. You certainly helped lift my spirits
FeowFeowOriginally posted by browniebaobao:May the force be with u.
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FeowFeow,
So, is everything going well?
Anything to update us?
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Despair not that you could not eliminate his grief. Grief is a natural feeling that comes with the mourning of loss. He who does not mourn the loss of his loved ones does not have any loved one in his heart. And you wouldn't want him to be so, would you?
Be glad instead, of the privilege that he has chosen to share his burden with you. Would you rather have him share the burden with anybody else? Or have him keep his feelings bottled up inside himself?
His grief would pass. Your strength would help make it pass sooner.
He confessed that he did not spend enough time as he should with his father? Well, don't let him repeat the same mistake with you. -
I thought this thread is an update already what
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Mao x 2:FeowFeow,
So, is everything going well?
Anything to update us? -
Dun mention.. Nothing much..Originally posted by FeowFeow:Yah lorr, I FORCE myself
Anyway, big thank you. You certainly helped lift my spirits
FeowFeow -
hmmmm... okie..Originally posted by FeowFeow:I thought this thread is an update already what
FeowFeow -
Hi TuaTau (really as in Big Head?),
What you've said is very true, I should count my blessings that the 1st person he's thought of confiding in, is me Thank you, I didn't even think of that!
I understand that it's natural to grieve over the death of loved ones. Based on past experience of losing someone who was my world since childhood, I know it's gonna be really tough. I went through some days of darkness followed by some days when I cheered up. So, I'm prepared for that with him.
Actually, all I've been doing is meet him after work at his place, have dinner, then we keep quiet & cuddle whilst watching TV or reading a book. Unless he wants to talk, we usually keep silent. It's very strange these few days because we're usually chattering away & teasing each other. The sudden silence takes some getting used to, I have to confess Still, it seems to make him feel calmer, so I suppose it's a good thing 
Perhaps the silence is just what he needs right now. Oh well, he knows that anytime he needs me, I'll be around......
Thanks for your parting words too. We do spend time together, but we also give each other breathing space (very important for me). Luckily, he's usually Not so nian2 nian2 ti1 ti1 like some of my exes However, presently, it's like he's clinging onto me for support, & that, I'm willing to give. In fact, he's the only person whom I don't mind clinging to me for the rest of my life 
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Tuatau:Despair not that you could not eliminate his grief. Grief is a natural feeling that comes with the mourning of loss. He who does not mourn the loss of his loved ones does not have any loved one in his heart. And you wouldn't want him to be so, would you?
Be glad instead, of the privilege that he has chosen to share his burden with you. Would you rather have him share the burden with anybody else? Or have him keep his feelings bottled up inside himself?
His grief would pass. Your strength would help make it pass sooner.
He confessed that he did not spend enough time as he should with his father? Well, don't let him repeat the same mistake with you. -
Hi Penguin,
Thank you. I'll be around as much as I can : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by BadzMaro:Just do what u do best. Be there for him always. -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:
Yes, at most times words are usually redundant when it comes to solace. Just by being there for him, by letting him know you'd always be by his side when he needs you, your warm cuddly body... uh I mean, presence should be more than sufficient to help him get over the pain.
Actually, all I've been doing is meet him after work at his place, have dinner, then we keep quiet & cuddle whilst watching TV or reading a book. Unless he wants to talk, we usually keep silent. It's very strange these few days because we're usually chattering away & teasing each other. The sudden silence takes some getting used to, I have to confess Still, it seems to make him feel calmer, so I suppose it's a good thing
...
FeowFeow
"Joy shared is joy multiplied; Pain shared is pain divided."
The day may come when it'd be your turn to grieve. He may fumble over his words and be at a loss, too, about how to handle your pain. Please, amidst your deep sorrow, remind yourself of these times and try to be more understanding and appreciative of his efforts (I'm sure you would, right?).
You may not have noticed, but it is usually during the bad times, not the good times, that the strength and maturity of a partner's character could be revealed. If your presence, albeit silent, could have a calming soothing effect on him, then it is definitely a good thing. For him and for you.
You probably don't need it, nevertheless, all the best. -
Thanks, any good wishes are very welcome
Actually, shuo1 lao3 bu4 lao3, I haven't reached my 30s yet So I'm still wet behind the ears also, albeit we handle our relationship in a way that's suitable to each other : )
He's there whenever I need him also. It's the very least I can do.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Tuatau:Yes, at most times words are usually redundant when it comes to solace. Just by being there for him, by letting him know you'd always be by his side when he needs you, your warm cuddly body... uh I mean, presence should be more than sufficient to help him get over the pain.
"Joy shared is joy multiplied; Pain shared is pain divided."
The day may come when it'd be your turn to grieve. He may fumble over his words and be at a loss, too, about how to handle your pain. Please, amidst your deep sorrow, remind yourself of these times and try to be more understanding and appreciative of his efforts (I'm sure you would, right?).
You may not have noticed, but it is usually during the bad times, not the good times, that the strength and maturity of a partner's character could be revealed. If your presence, albeit silent, could have a calming soothing effect on him, then it is definitely a good thing. For him and for you.
You probably don't need it, nevertheless, all the best. -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:
Oh really? Tsk tsk... It's simply not becoming for a young girl like you to call herself an "old maid" in front of the other real aunties and uncles in here.
Actually, shuo1 lao3 bu4 lao3, I haven't reached my 30s yet So I'm still wet behind the ears alsoOriginally posted by FeowFeow:
Ho ho... Maturity comes with age, usually but not necessarily so.
Yah lah, mature because I'm OLD MAID already mah
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Compared to the little teenage girls & boys here, I'm OLD MAID already mah Sometimes I also forget I'm Not that old, 30 still got quite a bit of change Maybe it's because the relationship I share with my other (& better) half, thankfully, does Not have any really bad roller-coaster rides between us. Sure, there're outside problems which we face, but there's Nothing fundamentally bad about our relationship. At the moment, we're happy together (being a realist, I do hope for forever, but I don't expect it).
Our quarrels CAN be quite ferocious (you see the way I scold people already know I'm fierce ) but it's usually over within a short while. There's usually No cold war, whatsoever, which we feel, can sometimes destroy a relationship, so usually we resolve our arguments pretty quickly.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Tuatau:Ho ho... Maturity comes with age, usually but not necessarily so. -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:
You know, compared to the real LOTS OLD MAIDs here, you could still be a little teenage girl.
Compared to the little teenage girls & boys here, I'm OLD MAID already mah Sometimes I also forget I'm Not that old, 30 still got quite a bit of change Maybe it's because the relationship I share with my other (& better) half, thankfully, does Not have any really bad roller-coaster rides between us. Sure, there're outside problems which we face, but there's Nothing fundamentally bad about our relationship. At the moment, we're happy together (being a realist, I do hope for forever, but I don't expect it).
Our quarrels CAN be quite ferocious (you see the way I scold people already know I'm fierce ) but it's usually over within a short while. There's usually No cold war, whatsoever, which we feel, can sometimes destroy a relationship, so usually we resolve our arguments pretty quickly.
FeowFeow
It is fine if your quarrels are ferocious, as long as they are short-lived. The more intense the fights, the more passionate the making up... that's kind of relative. Sometimes you just don't know how much the other party means to you until you've hurt each other (and eventually yourself). -
Ok ok, I'd better Not push it with the Old Maid part, or others will say that I'm rubbing it in
The making up is nice, but I don't like the quarrels... Both of us get so upset, & worse, sometimes I'm unable to control myself, & I hurl very hurtful words Been trying to stop it, & mostly, I succeed, but sometimes, very very hot-headed
Anyway, lately, he's been feeling better. Whenever he opens up, I'm there to hold his hand, give him a hug, etc. So he's cheered up a little. I think he's still emotionally worn out, though. Sometimes he'll ask to go exploring, & I'll say ok, but at the last minute, he's too tired. So we end up having lazy weekends, which is fine by me as long as he feels ok........
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Tuatau:You know, compared to the real LOTS OLD MAIDs here, you could still be a little teenage girl.
It is fine if your quarrels are ferocious, as long as they are short-lived. The more intense the fights, the more passionate the making up... that's kind of relative. Sometimes you just don't know how much the other party means to you until you've hurt each other (and eventually yourself). -
Glad that your hamster is feeling better now.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Ok ok, I'd better Not push it with the Old Maid part, or others will say that I'm rubbing it in
The making up is nice, but I don't like the quarrels... Both of us get so upset, & worse, sometimes I'm unable to control myself, & I hurl very hurtful words Been trying to stop it, & mostly, I succeed, but sometimes, very very hot-headed
Anyway, lately, he's been feeling better. Whenever he opens up, I'm there to hold his hand, give him a hug, etc. So he's cheered up a little. I think he's still emotionally worn out, though. Sometimes he'll ask to go exploring, & I'll say ok, but at the last minute, he's too tired. So we end up having lazy weekends, which is fine by me as long as he feels ok........
FeowFeow -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:
"Sometimes you just don't know how much the other party means to you until you've hurt each other (and eventually yourself)." Nobody likes the quarrels, but sometimes you've got to think of it positively. Quarreling, as hurtful as they are, is still another form of communication. It is, at any rate, better than a cold war in which both parties simply could not be bothered to speak to each other any more.
The making up is nice, but I don't like the quarrels... Both of us get so upset, & worse, sometimes I'm unable to control myself, & I hurl very hurtful words Been trying to stop it, & mostly, I succeed, but sometimes, very very hot-headed
Anyway, lately, he's been feeling better. Whenever he opens up, I'm there to hold his hand, give him a hug, etc. So he's cheered up a little. I think he's still emotionally worn out, though. Sometimes he'll ask to go exploring, & I'll say ok, but at the last minute, he's too tired. So we end up having lazy weekends, which is fine by me as long as he feels ok........
FeowFeow
Perhaps next time, before you feel like hurling hurtful words at him again, try to close your eyes and take at least five deep breaths before doing so? It has worked for some people. I know it is tough, but if we know what we're doing is wrong and if we didn't want to repeat our mistakes, we have got to start somewhere, haven't we?
Exploring? That's nice, but you know sometimes you could get tired of exploring each other's bodies -- there is only so much to the human anatomy. So hanging out at the crib, listening to some songs, watching some videos, or just plain b.itching about each other's lives is not a bad way to spend time together as well. -
Tua Tau!!!
*BONKZ BONKZ BONKZ*
I'm Not talking about exploring each other's bodies lah!
I was referring to exploring Singapore, as in, what we like to do on weekends! Somebody thinking quite crooked here
On other matters, yes, I agree that I should take a deep breath. Sometimes, instead of yelling out those words, I really force myself to bite my tongue. It's saved me from hurting him a no. of times, but sometimes, before I can hold back, they already fly out Abit the hard to explain also Still, I'll continue to try & hold back, it's Not good hurting him too much, I feel horrible also...
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Tuatau:"Sometimes you just don't know how much the other party means to you until you've hurt each other (and eventually yourself)." Nobody likes the quarrels, but sometimes you've got to think of it positively. Quarreling, as hurtful as they are, is still another form of communication. It is, at any rate, better than a cold war in which both parties simply could not be bothered to speak to each other any more.
Perhaps next time, before you feel like hurling hurtful words at him again, try to close your eyes and take at least five deep breaths before doing so? It has worked for some people. I know it is tough, but if we know what we're doing is wrong and if we didn't want to repeat our mistakes, we have got to start somewhere, haven't we?
Exploring? That's nice, but you know sometimes you could get tired of exploring each other's bodies -- there is only so much to the human anatomy. So hanging out at the crib, listening to some songs, watching some videos, or just plain b.itching about each other's lives is not a bad way to spend time together as well. -
Me too Now can call him hamster again
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Mao x 2:Glad that your hamster is feeling better now. -
Gasp!!!Originally posted by FeowFeow:Tua Tau!!!
*BONKZ BONKZ BONKZ*
I'm Not talking about exploring each other's bodies lah!
I was referring to exploring Singapore, as in, what we like to do on weekends! Somebody thinking quite crooked here
On other matters, yes, I agree that I should take a deep breath. Sometimes, instead of yelling out those words, I really force myself to bite my tongue. It's saved me from hurting him a no. of times, but sometimes, before I can hold back, they already fly out Abit the hard to explain also Still, I'll continue to try & hold back, it's Not good hurting him too much, I feel horrible also...
FeowFeow
Careful not to bite your tongue off though...
Cheers -
Don't know who u are but all the best to u. Be confident coz u have a long journey ahead.
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Oh a newbie?Originally posted by LinYu:Don't know who u are but all the best to u. Be confident coz u have a long journey ahead.
Enjoy your stay.
Cheers -
Originally posted by FeowFeow:
Tua Tau!!!
*BONKZ BONKZ BONKZ*
I'm Not talking about exploring each other's bodies lah!
I was referring to exploring Singapore, as in, what we like to do on weekends! Somebody thinking quite crooked here
FeowFeow -
'What comes from the heart, touches the heart"
Feow feow....... just continue to be the pillar of strength for hamster !
God bless always! -
Hamster Paradise..Originally posted by FeowFeow:Me too Now can call him hamster again
FeowFeow
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all that hamster and exploring thing... seems like you're feeling better already huh FF?? you're a big gal, i'm sure you can handle it... be strong.