Anyone can help: Maintaining love without getting physical?
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Maintaining love without getting physical, possible?
I am recently starting my first relationship with a guy whom is older and have experience in long term relationship before. I am serious abt this r/s. But I am unsure abt whether, is it possible to maintain the relationship without any sexual activities? Not even those...well, so call hand job? Correct me if i am wrong. There is no specific reason for me to say a 'No" to this but jus wana to wait for a longer period maybe after a yr or two, but how can i negotiate this with him then? Will it be too much if i say 'No' all the way? -
Give him one handjob in which he will never forget..TUG IT SO HARD TAT it hurts that 1st time and i assure u he will never ask you for it again. =)
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all about mutual respect n self control. lay down the ground rules beforehand 1st. talk to him nicely ba.Originally posted by Jean3:Maintaining love without getting physical, possible?
I am recently starting my first relationship with a guy whom is older and have experience in long term relationship before. I am serious abt this r/s. But I am unsure abt whether, is it possible to maintain the relationship without any sexual activities? Not even those...well, so call hand job? Correct me if i am wrong. There is no specific reason for me to say a 'No" to this but jus wana to wait for a longer period maybe after a yr or two, but how can i negotiate this with him then? Will it be too much if i say 'No' all the way? -
If he really wants you, he'll definitely wait for u dun worry.
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Hi ppl thanks so much for the responses.
I understand that guys have their needs, and i can feel that simple kissing might lead him on to other things, i worried whenever he start to be a bit too onz. How can i ensure that things wouldn't go wrong? To me, he is not really those that will be out of control, but i shld try to control the situation right? -
it's possible la. maybe he may not wan it also, out of respect for u.
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ensure things wouldn't go wrong? tell him ur limits. stop him whenever he is over the limits, make him understand. tell him what he can or cannot do. if he really wants it, u can just cuddle him and tell him that's the furthest u can go for nowOriginally posted by Jean3:Hi ppl thanks so much for the responses.
I understand that guys have their needs, and i can feel that simple kissing might lead him on to other things, i worried whenever he start to be a bit too onz. How can i ensure that things wouldn't go wrong? To me, he is not really those that will be out of control, but i shld try to control the situation right? -
Emm, is it true that guys by nature are more advancing whenever there is opportunity or the ambience, and of course i mean towards their girl only? -
not sureOriginally posted by Jean3:Emm, is it true that guys by nature are more advancing whenever there is opportunity or the ambience, and of course i mean towards their girl only?
some guys very shy need the girl to make the advance first, depends on what type of person the guy is -
It has been... Guys are shyOriginally posted by The man who was death:not sure some guys very shy need the girl to make the advance first, depends on what type of person the guy is -
sbst275: u mean guys are shy? but what if he is not : ( ?
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nice oneOriginally posted by tritonyeah666:Give him one handjob in which he will never forget..TUG IT SO HARD TAT it hurts that 1st time and i assure u he will never ask you for it again. =)
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Not shy?Originally posted by Jean3:sbst275: u mean guys are shy? but what if he is not : ( ?
... Then he not pai seh when talking to a girl -
By the way, is it a norm for couple to be involved in hand job nowadays, esp when they dont wish to be involved in actual intercourse? I heard about it very often...from frds
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more like heavy petting bah, actually cuddling not bad alreadyOriginally posted by Jean3:By the way, is it a norm for couple to be involved in hand job nowadays, esp when they dont wish to be involved in actual intercourse? I heard about it very often...from frds -
Is up to both of you to set the limit.
We can only advise but I guess at the moment of passion any logic could be thrown out of hand.
I believe you had a very good moral upbring and do not wish for it to end.
Is possible to maintain love without getting physical. You must tell him straight in the face that you do not wish for any sexual contact for the period you want. Be firm with what you want and do not give in no matter how he begs you.
Reason for why you should be firm:
1) you do not want him to see u as a easy woman who give in easily.
2) You do not wish to get any possible sexual disease from him. I am not saying he sleeps around but you will never know for sure rite? Be on the save side and it may save you one day.
3) you do not wish to be a mother at a young age.
4) you do not wish to bring shame to your family if something happens.
5) If he really loves you why can't he wait? Only the real wolfs will demand that you sleep with them asap so that they can dump you asap. -
One thing i got to agree with drx.Originally posted by Jean3:Maintaining love without getting physical, possible?
I am recently starting my first relationship
How long has this relationship been?
with a guy whom is older and have experience in long term relationship before.
I am serious abt this r/s
Do you feel that he's serious too?
From your observations..
But I am unsure abt whether, is it possible to maintain the relationship without any sexual activities?
Yes it is possible.
If his values includes physical intimacy, both of you will go through some hiccups.
Not even those...well, so call hand job?
Correct me if i am wrong. There is no specific reason for me to say a 'No" to this but jus wana to wait for a longer period maybe after a yr or two, but how can i negotiate this with him then? 
Do you wish to tell us more on why you don't wish to compromise? I'm interested to know your stand on this.
Nothing to correct you, because each relationship are special. And Not until we know what is going on, none here should correct you.
Will it be too much if i say 'No' all the way?
Why do you think it's too much?
Expectations?
Fear?
If it's no all the way, what do you think is his responses, what problems ddo you forsee?
Being a girl.
You must respect yourself and know what you're doing and why you're doing.
Until when you decide on the values and compromises in this relationship. You're free to do whatever you want in your own r/s.
Cheers -
Hi,
I believe u don't need to tell him or say anything to him explicitly.
I believe u have an un-easiness if u have to tell him directly. And, depending on his personality and how close he is to u, he may or may not take it positively.
So, just don't say anything explicitly. Just do/ show. He will know. -
FRankly, i don't see the reasons you gave is any good for the enhancing the relationship.Originally posted by drx:Is up to both of you to set the limit.
We can only advise but I guess at the moment of passion any logic could be thrown out of hand.
I believe you had a very good moral upbring and do not wish for it to end.
Is possible to maintain love without getting physical. You must tell him straight in the face that you do not wish for any sexual contact for the period you want. Be firm with what you want and do not give in no matter how he begs you.
Reason for why you should be firm:
1) you do not want him to see u as a easy woman who give in easily.
2) You do not wish to get any possible sexual disease from him. I am not saying he sleeps around but you will never know for sure rite? Be on the save side and it may save you one day.
3) you do not wish to be a mother at a young age.
4) you do not wish to bring shame to your family if something happens.
5) If he really loves you why can't he wait? Only the real wolfs will demand that you sleep with them asap so that they can dump you asap.
I prefer to see those which you mentioned above as Warnings....not reasons.
Intimate acts could be intepreted differently, lets not generalise ok?
Cheers -
Possible. But alot depends on his own mindset, and biological regulations & control...?Originally posted by Jean3:Maintaining love without getting physical, possible?
I am recently starting my first relationship with a guy whom is older and have experience in long term relationship before. I am serious abt this r/s. But I am unsure abt whether, is it possible to maintain the relationship without any sexual activities? Not even those...well, so call hand job? Correct me if i am wrong. There is no specific reason for me to say a 'No" to this but jus wana to wait for a longer period maybe after a yr or two, but how can i negotiate this with him then? Will it be too much if i say 'No' all the way?
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Originally posted by tritonyeah666:Give him one handjob in which he will never forget..TUG IT SO HARD TAT it hurts that 1st time and i assure u he will never ask you for it again. =)
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Originally posted by Jean3:By the way, is it a norm for couple to be involved in hand job nowadays, esp when they dont wish to be involved in actual intercourse? I heard about it very often...from frds
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all u need is to let him noe how u feel.... if hes understanding, he should hv no problem.... avoid being jz with him most of the time might help....Originally posted by Jean3:Maintaining love without getting physical, possible?
I am recently starting my first relationship with a guy whom is older and have experience in long term relationship before. I am serious abt this r/s. But I am unsure abt whether, is it possible to maintain the relationship without any sexual activities? Not even those...well, so call hand job? Correct me if i am wrong. There is no specific reason for me to say a 'No" to this but jus wana to wait for a longer period maybe after a yr or two, but how can i negotiate this with him then? Will it be too much if i say 'No' all the way? -
Are you afraid that he may not like you if you reject his advances? If he's like that, so be it, and let him go. If you say no, and he respect your wishes, then there's hope for him.
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i'd say, be sure to set your limits, and your boyfriend should respect you by obliging by your requests. although sometimes, it is good to have some physical involved as well.