Is a guy who used verbal abuse on his gf, worth holding on?
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Wah rao how come my name kanna thrown out liao?Originally posted by starblue:lolz... ask Yun jie if you're not convinced. personally, i know a few scorpios very personally, and they've all been intensed people. the nature is in them, but it is up to the individual to suppress it for their own good. and it's just that some are better at that than others. besides, being intense isnt a nagative trait. it depends on how he/she displays it. which is why i advised on helping the guy control his temper.
sorry if i made you think i feel scorpios are all violent-prone people. i have absolutely no intention of this and i apologise should i offend any of you here. cheers.
Actually I was guessing between Aries or Scorpio before she revealed it. And for the 1324259385762135th times I am emphasising - without astrological birth chart, it cannot determine anything. So therefore, by Sun Sign, it's may not be accurate, because it isn't meant to be - it serve as a easy (or fun) guide because it easy to obtain the data involved for Sun Sign.
REAL Astrology doesn't just look at the Sun Sign. Analysizing from birth chart is a more accurate and holistic approach.
Scorpio's intense characteristic is not because he/she is a Scorpio; rather it is due to its rulership - both Pluto and Mars (8th house as well). Both planets are very active, dynamic and powerful; therefore, it produces alot of strength, especially if the birth chart is well placed.
To be fair: Scorpio make great friends. So good that you probably knows who to depend on during crisis. An evolved Scorpio is an incredible lover (highly sexual as well). Scorpio is the kind of lover who will go all out to protect their love ones from danger, peril and danger. Scorpio are emotional deep thinkers; somewhat still water runs deep kind of people. What doesn't mention isn't forgotten; it is still heavily considered. Just that they need the retreat and time to analysis the emotions and message involved.
P.S: Personally, I connect better with Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.
Cheers -
Scorpio here...... peaceful creature who dun bother u unless u really piss him off...n when u do,he stings u till e poison kills u b4 u can count to 5.
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CHANCES are (not for certain) he's not an abusive creature... He's stubborn by nature and often hide quite many things within himself... Not sharing much of his woes... Afraid to trouble you unnecessarily... He's often 'slow' in act and hence a 'reflector' as you've described him...Originally posted by sweetevil:I am an Aquarius while he is a Scorpion. Tell me about it? If you want chinese astrology - I am born in the year of a Tiger whilst his an Ox. Also, thank you everyone for your continous response. Your advices are useful and will help me in time to come!
You... Question alot... Reflects in strange ways and thinks quite too much... Not too healthy to overdo it...
This relationship of yours... He has too much made unknown to you, you have many doubts and thinkings towards his actions... Act on his 'soft spot' but making him 'protect' you while you feel much at tax by his acts...
Sorry... Got to go.. Get back to you? -
i am a scorpio and theres no offense taken, i mean seriously do i look like the revengeful kind?Originally posted by starblue:lolz... ask Yun jie if you're not convinced. personally, i know a few scorpios very personally, and they've all been intensed people. the nature is in them, but it is up to the individual to suppress it for their own good. and it's just that some are better at that than others. besides, being intense isnt a nagative trait. it depends on how he/she displays it. which is why i advised on helping the guy control his temper.
sorry if i made you think i feel scorpios are all violent-prone people. i have absolutely no intention of this and i apologise should i offend any of you here. cheers. 
hahahah 
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lolz.. i could tell you're a scorpio cos you were so defensive when i mentioned about scorpios... i personally connect mysteriously well with scorpios... i might even believe that scorpios have this mysterious force of attraction that draws me to them... wierd... does yun jie have anything to say to this?? can pm me please??Originally posted by black_avarice:i am a scorpio and theres no offense taken, i mean seriously do i look like the revengeful kind? hahahah i'm virgo by the way. -
Nope.Originally posted by I.M.ME:u said he's in ns now... prob thats y he so vulgar in words
b4 he entered ns, was he so vulgar then? -
You pretty much understand me what I want to say and what i feel. My sentiments, exactly. I don't want to give up this relationship so easily because we're very much still in love with each other (you know, some things are easier said than done) We've talked about it yesterday and we're still going strong. Initially, when he tried to talk to me really nicely, I gave him the indifferent attitude. Then, he became upset and cried because he said it hurts him to see me treating him that way. All in all, i felt that he was really sincere to change for the better and realised that he'd hurt me so much. Thanks for the continous support and response you guys have shown and given to me. Once again, thanks for everything!Originally posted by starblue:scorpios are very intense people. they feel every emotion very strongly. if they are angry, they get VERY angry. many resort to physical means to vent it (by punching a wall), or verbal abuse as in your case. of cos, there is absolutely no reason why you should tolerate this sort of abuse from him. you can do yourself a favour by just leaving him.
BUT!! you are hanging on, even though this has been carrying on, even though you have expressed your hurts due to his tactlessly (which i hope you have really expressed it). no doubt you still love him. and that knowledge in itself is hurtful.
girl, you need to tell him firmly how hurt you are by his vulgar words. that you're ok with him being angry, that you understand he may be under stress, that in r/s, quarrels are inevitable. but you are not going to tolerate anymore verbal abuse because he makes you feel very unappreciated, unloved and insulted.
if you really love him, help him to change. if he is not going to change, you will be even more hesitant to continue a r/s with him, cos i'm sure you definitely don't want to end it in marriage if this carries on. give him support and grow with him. all the best.
PS: Let nature takes it course, whatever is meant to be is meant to be, right? I will help him to change but I will not ask him to change and if he is not going to change, then its better for us to break up right? -
Anyway to 'close one eye' to his 'verbal abuse'..? How bad is his 'verbal abuse'....? To top up my previous post, you'll have to note that there'll still be a chance no matter how that he might turn abusive in his actions one day if he's often an 'impulsive' guy...?Originally posted by sweetevil:You pretty much understand me what I want to say and what i feel. My sentiments, exactly. I don't want to give up this relationship so easily because we're very much still in love with each other (you know, some things are easier said than done) We've talked about it yesterday and we're still going strong. Initially, when he tried to talk to me really nicely, I gave him the indifferent attitude. Then, he became upset and cried because he said it hurts him to see me treating him that way. All in all, i felt that he was really sincere to change for the better and realised that he'd hurt me so much. Thanks for the continous support and response you guys have shown and given to me. Once again, thanks for everything!
PS: Let nature takes it course, whatever is meant to be is meant to be, right? I will help him to change but I will not ask him to change and if he is not going to change, then its better for us to break up right?
If you're really keen on changing his habit, then I suggest you try some other more 'tactical' methods... No point to simply tell him 'don't do this', 'don't do that'.... For example, shows him how HURT you are each time he does that... Or put a red bead inside a glass bottle... On his birthday or some special occasion, give that as a present to him... And that shall be your 'love' for him... For that would be the 'love' which allows you to FORGIVE him, each time he repeats the SAME MISTAKE over and over again to hurt you so...? -
That's a really good idea. I'll think about it. Thank you very much. Oh anyway, He uses words and phrases like Fuck, Shut up, Don't give me that bull Shit, Don't try to act smart, Use your bloody or stupid brains!!! (there's probably more, which I cant think of now) Pretty much insulting and hurtful, no? He always tell me to "think before I act". Seems like, people don't practise what they preach? Well I mean, who doesnt say wrong things at the wrong time, right? Nobody is perfect. Somethings I said if he doesnt likes it, he wld be very offended and more often would lead to verbal abuse. But of course, he doesnt do that for no apparent reason. When i mean 'close one eye', as in some times I do something wrong, which is really like no big deal or if I dont think it is wrong but he gets so offended and angry. Simply put it, he just cannot close one eye and cannot take criticisms and offences.Originally posted by Devil1976:Anyway to 'close one eye' to his 'verbal abuse'..? How bad is his 'verbal abuse'....? To top up my previous post, you'll have to note that there'll still be a chance no matter how that he might turn abusive in his actions one day if he's often an 'impulsive' guy...?
If you're really keen on changing his habit, then I suggest you try some other more 'tactical' methods... No point to simply tell him 'don't do this', 'don't do that'.... For example, shows him how HURT you are each time he does that... Or put a red bead inside a glass bottle... On his birthday or some special occasion, give that as a present to him... And that shall be your 'love' for him... For that would be the 'love' which allows you to FORGIVE him, each time he repeats the SAME MISTAKE over and over again to hurt you so...? -
Whoa, hey hey hey, hold the bus there! This guy's calling you stupid and you're taking it lying down?!
From what i've seen you post so far, there's nothing that leads me to believe you're dumb, so why take that from him? The sad truth is that you're stuck with a vicious, petty loser if he's going to be abusing you like that.
Hell, I thought you meant that he punctuates his sentences with swear words - this is a helluva lot worse, girl. Don't walk away from this - run! -
I hate to put this but it doesn't sound good.Originally posted by sweetevil:That's a really good idea. I'll think about it. Thank you very much. Oh anyway, He uses words and phrases like Fuck, Shut up, Don't give me that bull Shit, Don't try to act smart, Use your bloody or stupid brains!!! (there's probably more, which I cant think of now) Pretty much insulting and hurtful, no? He always tell me to "think before I act". I mean, who doesnt say wrong things at the wrong time, right? Nobody is perfect. Somethings I said if he doesnt likes it, he wld be very offended and more often would lead to verbal abuse. But of course, he doesnt do that for no apparent reason. When i mean 'close one eye', as in some times I do something wrong, which is really like no big deal or if I dont think it is wrong but he gets so offended and angry. Simply put it, he just cannot close one eye and cannot take criticisms and offences.
He has quite an ego. He's defensive to himself and probably to you simply because he sees you as his...
Whatever mentioned suggest that he has quite an impulsive nature. His verbal abuses could be his nature or consequence of habit cultivated within his NS serving... Either case, it has to stem from his 'impulsive' nature... Too often and repetitive lost of control is simply bad...
Whatever you've described of him shows that he's incapable of much 'self-control' in this nature of his... Just like a drug-addict who might know drug is bad for him but has no control over his actions... Greatly disadvantageous over time. Simply put...
If he has other troubles hitting him at the same time; get too used to his action; begin to take you for granted... He MIGHT just become a violent guy? It would very much be dependent on his own self-control (more like self-cultivation - such a nature is most well-restrained when one is more 'refined' in a natural way) and how much control he has over other aspects of his life....
Destiny probably states.. If he's DOING GOOD, you should be all the way ON TOP with him... While if he's not..? Be caution...? -
HAHHA wa so kiang arz ... well errr maybe u like our nice , big and sharp tail?Originally posted by starblue:lolz.. i could tell you're a scorpio cos you were so defensive when i mentioned about scorpios... i personally connect mysteriously well with scorpios... i might even believe that scorpios have this mysterious force of attraction that draws me to them... wierd... does yun jie have anything to say to this?? can pm me please?? i'm virgo by the way. btw virgo is wad element ?