Originally posted by tiring husband:
hi,
I have been married for 2 years, and have a son who is a year old plus. My wife is a PR from HK, 3 years younger than me, consider young and full of hope and pride. And im already 31 this year.
Since married, I have been the only one working to provide financial support. My wife refuse to work in SG, and on the other hands she need to take care of my son. The point is SG living standard is high, I do think that there is an option for her, if she really wants to help this family grow. As a housewife, I do think that its not easy, but she does has plenty of time, I would say no worries, living each day.
She still contact her ex-bf from HK. Both hardly meet face-to-face, but do communicate frequent thru' instant messenging. And she has not tell her ex-bf that she already married, yet still lie that she live as a single mother, living in UK, taking care of our son. I dont understand why she cant tell her ex-bf about me. Honestly, I do peep on her instant message history, i cant help but to look for answer for myself.
Both communicate well, and her ex-bf does want to provide her financial support and hoousing in HK. I trust my wife will not get involved in this kinda third party relationship, I can trust her.
However, the issue is i have been tolerating this, and its not fair to me too, as if im sort of her secret 'husband-roommate'. Im very tired of this hide-n-seek relationship. I did told her about this, and i tell her that im interested to meet her ex-bf, but to no avail. Pls advise, everyday this issue in my mind makes me getting tired, asking myself is my contibution to the family worth doing it. For me the worst senario is, without her ex-bf knows her actual marital status, she still gain a chance to re-unite, as least a back-up in a married life, if our relationship fails....
Pls advise...
Gosh this is a serious problem. Seems like she is lying to 2 men at the same time. Well, the only conclusion is boredom and a general disatisfaction with current situation.
I'm a Singaporean now living in HK and having been here for 5 years, I can assure you that HKies living in Singapore and especially those without many friends can find Singapore "stressfully" boring. On top that the child minding can make your life doubly boring and tiring. Trust me, I just did it for 2 weeks and boy, you think you have the whole day and there is bound to be some free time, but it never happens that way. So, in my mind she has made a major contribution to the family though not financially.
No doubt the cost of living in Singapore is high, but have you overworked and neglected her and treated more as a mother than a girlfriend/wife since your kid was born? Is she only doing the messaging just to get more attention from you? My suggestion is to have a heart to heart talk with her, ask her what would make her happy and that in return you would ask her to cut her contact with her ex so that both of you can built your relationship. Some girls just need to be sweet talked to, even though your dillengence at work has already shown your love for the family. To them luv for family and luv for them can be 2 different issues. Forget about trying to talk to or find out about her ex-bf as it may cause jealousy to get the better of you. And he is not the root cause of the problem as he is being lied to as well. Have you thought of moving to another country where both of you are happy to find employment?