21yrs old but not allowed to date
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Jus thought I would tell you guys my situation...
I am 21 yrs of age and even though I have the freedom to go out and be with my friends, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DATE ANYONE...
Luckily I have not really met someone that I really like, only the occasional crush but I feel this sucks big time... wat to do my parents threaten to cut funding for my University if they noe I am dating Me giving tuition jus enough to cover expenses, not school fees... Yup once I went to catch a movie with my good friend (jus like a sister to me) and who else should I see while sending her home but my parents! They were not too happy and grilled me continuously when I went home. Seems like they only approve of me having guy friends and one-on-one outings with gals is a big no-no... But I know better than to argue or quarrel with them as my studies depend on their funding(actually I readily fight for my rights in other issues)... Just feel so controlled; like a caged bird... 
Anyone faces a similar situation here? -
have you ever ask your parents why they dun allow you to date anyone?
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Only Son ar?
haha... tell ur mum and dad lah... cannot date ar? Den how did they end up having you?
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Firstly, ask them... WHAT RIGHT HAVE THEY TO STOP YOU FROM DOING ANYTHING, YOU'RE ALREADY 21 YEARS OLD.
Secondly, tell them... DON'T FUND FOR YOUT STUDIES, DON'T FUND LAH. YOU CAN ALWAYS WORK AND STUDY NEXT TIME.
Actually, I don't believe they will stop funding you also, because who would want their children's future to be ruin.
Thirdly, cold war with them... run away from home or don't talk to them for a while... <- This ALWAYS works for me on my parents when they don't give me what I want...
PS: YOUR PARENTS SUCK. -
I believe your parents would want you to complete your studies then allowing you to go for dates....Originally posted by Delta 5:Jus thought I would tell you guys my situation...
I am 21 yrs of age and even though I have the freedom to go out and be with my friends, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DATE ANYONE... Luckily I have not really met someone that I really like, only the occasional crush but I feel this sucks big time... wat to do my parents threaten to cut funding for my University if they noe I am dating Me giving tuition jus enough to cover expenses, not school fees... Yup once I went to catch a movie with my good friend (jus like a sister to me) and who else should I see while sending her home but my parents! They were not too happy and grilled me continuously when I went home. Seems like they only approve of me having guy friends and one-on-one outings with gals is a big no-no... But I know better than to argue or quarrel with them as my studies depend on their funding(actually I readily fight for my rights in other issues)... Just feel so controlled; like a caged bird...
Anyone faces a similar situation here? -
Just act as if you're turning gay in front of your folks. I'm sure they'll be changing their stance towards you dating girls. Who knows, they may even be setting you up with dates in no time.
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No la I am the eldest son... Have a younger bro...Originally posted by fredex:Only Son ar?
haha... tell ur mum and dad lah... cannot date ar? Den how did they end up having you?
But my parents have high expectations of me...
Too high I think... -
U're lucky....if you're the eldest grandson...you'll be hoping that they dun rush you for marriage n bear them a great-grandson/grandson...then you'll know the pressure...Originally posted by Delta 5:No la I am the eldest son... Have a younger bro...
But my parents have high expectations of me...
Too high I think... -
HAHA.. maybe you can tried secretly date a gal.. see first... they also LAN LAN
make them angry lor.. in the end your parents will still forgive you. becos you are still their children..
No funding no funding lor... go for bank loan.. wat's big deal.. ?
Using money to threaten and restrict you.. is not a way to solve the prob.. freedom of making friends is not their choice but yours, you are 21 tis yr is time to make ur own decision..
you serving NS nw? -
Nope... ORDed in March...Originally posted by Rod1984:HAHA.. maybe you can tried secretly date a gal.. see first... they also LAN LAN
make them angry lor.. in the end your parents will still forgive you. becos you are still their children..
No funding no funding lor... go for bank loan.. wat's big deal.. ?
Using money to threaten and restrict you.. is not a way to solve the prob.. freedom of making friends is not their choice but yours, you are 21 tis yr is time to make ur own decision..
you serving NS nw?
I felt better when I was serving; at least I was the one who gave orders haha...
But seriously, not very wise to date secretly... Also quite hard for example sometimes they may earsdrop on my conversations... No kidding! -
aiseh...orhficer ah?
anyway, on dating... chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi... no target yet mah, so fret for nothing for wat? -
u can divorce ur parents.... 21 is officially considered adult.
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juz guai guai ... finish U than date ba
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u r not a caged bird...just that yr wings are not sturdy and seasoned enuff to span and take flight yetOriginally posted by Delta 5:Jus thought I would tell you guys my situation...
I am 21 yrs of age and even though I have the freedom to go out and be with my friends, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DATE ANYONE... Luckily I have not really met someone that I really like, only the occasional crush but I feel this sucks big time... wat to do my parents threaten to cut funding for my University if they noe I am dating Me giving tuition jus enough to cover expenses, not school fees... Yup once I went to catch a movie with my good friend (jus like a sister to me) and who else should I see while sending her home but my parents! They were not too happy and grilled me continuously when I went home. Seems like they only approve of me having guy friends and one-on-one outings with gals is a big no-no... But I know better than to argue or quarrel with them as my studies depend on their funding(actually I readily fight for my rights in other issues)... Just feel so controlled; like a caged bird...
Anyone faces a similar situation here? -
No la... Sandwiched in the middle... Second sergeantOriginally posted by zodi:aiseh...orhficer ah?
anyway, on dating... chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi... no target yet mah, so fret for nothing for wat?
OCfer in my place never do work one all book out early...
True... By rite no target no need to fret... But they always assume I am infatuated when I go out with the opposite sex thats wat piss me off... -
one ear in one ear out lor... with practise, u'll learn how to auto switch off when they start bugging u.Originally posted by Delta 5:No la... Sandwiched in the middle... Second sergeant
OCfer in my place never do work one all book out early...
True... By rite no target no need to fret... But they always assume I am infatuated when I go out with the opposite sex thats wat piss me off... -
Hmm my parents used to be like this...actually even until now they don't allow me to go out with the opposite sex...and I am already 22 this year!
They said once I finish my studies I will have all the freedom I want, but I doubt that will happen. Once I finish my college here, they will come up with other excuses to restrict me...
So what I did is, I make sure they cannot restrict me lor, I am faraway from them now so I dated secretly. I mean, as long as I make sure it is not affecting my studies, I do not think they can do much abt this. It is my right about whom I am dating, not my parents. If I go by what they say, I am not supposed to be even mixing with girls, cos they think they will set me up on dates -
They care for you n do not wish you to get cheated...Originally posted by rainee:Hmm my parents used to be like this...actually even until now they don't allow me to go out with the opposite sex...and I am already 22 this year!
They said once I finish my studies I will have all the freedom I want, but I doubt that will happen. Once I finish my college here, they will come up with other excuses to restrict me...
So what I did is, I make sure they cannot restrict me lor, I am faraway from them now so I dated secretly. I mean, as long as I make sure it is not affecting my studies, I do not think they can do much abt this. It is my right about whom I am dating, not my parents. If I go by what they say, I am not supposed to be even mixing with girls, cos they think they will set me up on dates -
so how? All my life I should remain protected under them?Originally posted by dcx:They care for you n do not wish you to get cheated...
I know they might be doing this for my own good, but it is harming me more than they ever know... -
x 2Originally posted by rainee:so how? All my life I should remain protected under them?
I know they might be doing this for my own good, but it is harming me more than they ever know... -
Ya..who noes...you might have already been doing harm to yuorself which you might not even aware of....Originally posted by rainee:so how? All my life I should remain protected under them?
I know they might be doing this for my own good, but it is harming me more than they ever know...
Have you ever talk to them about your opinions before?
(Actualli...it seldom works anyway...but i think at least, there's a need to let them know what you're thinking...) -
Do you think I have never tried? I have tried all sorts of ways to talk to them, tried to discuss it with them, but the understanding and trust were never there...Originally posted by dcx:Ya..who noes...you might have already been doing harm to yuorself which you might not even aware of....
Have you ever talk to them about your opinions before?
(Actualli...it seldom works anyway...but i think at least, there's a need to let them know what you're thinking...)
There was once I tried to tell them about my opinion abt something, and they said,"No, your opinion does not matter because you are just our daughter, only our opinions matter and you just need to follow it."
You see how difficult it is to talk to someone like that? -
haha...no wonder...i was once in a similar scenario as you, but then, becoz i'm a guy...i couldn't care less what my parents had objected against of....Originally posted by rainee:Do you think I have never tried? I have tried all sorts of ways to talk to them, tried to discuss it with them, but the understanding and trust were never there...
There was once I tried to tell them about my opinion abt something, and they said,"No, your opinion does not matter because you are just our daughter, only our opinions matter and you just need to follow it."
You see how difficult it is to talk to someone like that?
But to think back of it, perphaps if i've listen to them, i wouldn't have been what i am now...sekali become a scholar...
Sometimes, when you stand in their point of views n see, it's understandable that y they wanna protect n restrict you...which parent want their child to suffer in the future??? For a child(Male), parent's expectations is to hope that he can get a good degree n a good job, then followed by a mate... whereas, for a girl, yeah...good degree n good job so that if in future anything will to happened to their daughter, at least, she doesn't need to depend on the guy... -
Yea, like I said, I understand their good intentions...but reality doesn't really work out that way. You can't possibly protect someone all your life, you have let her learn on his/her own. And learning is best thru personal experience..Originally posted by dcx:haha...no wonder...i was once in a similar scenario as you, but then, becoz i'm a guy...i couldn't care less what my parents had objected against of....
But to think back of it, perphaps if i've listen to them, i wouldn't have been what i am now...sekali become a scholar...
Sometimes, when you stand in their point of views n see, it's understandable that y they wanna protect n restrict you...which parent want their child to suffer in the future??? For a child(Male), parent's expectations is to hope that he can get a good degree n a good job, then followed by a mate... whereas, for a girl, yeah...good degree n good job so that if in future anything will to happened to their daughter, at least, she doesn't need to depend on the guy... -
Well....all i can say is that "We only live once".....Originally posted by rainee:Yea, like I said, I understand their good intentions...but reality doesn't really work out that way. You can't possibly protect someone all your life, you have let her learn on his/her own. And learning is best thru personal experience..