21yrs old but not allowed to date
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omg, y dun u just retaliate? your parents wun stop funding u becoz they hav high hopes on you! Dont give money, den let you fail? Come on, they are not tt dumb.Originally posted by Delta 5:Jus thought I would tell you guys my situation...
I am 21 yrs of age and even though I have the freedom to go out and be with my friends, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DATE ANYONE...
Luckily I have not really met someone that I really like, only the occasional crush but I feel this sucks big time... wat to do my parents threaten to cut funding for my University if they noe I am dating Me giving tuition jus enough to cover expenses, not school fees... Yup once I went to catch a movie with my good friend (jus like a sister to me) and who else should I see while sending her home but my parents! They were not too happy and grilled me continuously when I went home. Seems like they only approve of me having guy friends and one-on-one outings with gals is a big no-no... But I know better than to argue or quarrel with them as my studies depend on their funding(actually I readily fight for my rights in other issues)... Just feel so controlled; like a caged bird... 
Anyone faces a similar situation here? -
When I was 19-20, my mum already kpkb me why still no gf, and look at the letters and photos girls send me. I think she scared I'm gay, ur parents opposite... heeOriginally posted by Delta 5:Jus thought I would tell you guys my situation...
I am 21 yrs of age and even though I have the freedom to go out and be with my friends, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DATE ANYONE... Luckily I have not really met someone that I really like, only the occasional crush but I feel this sucks big time... wat to do my parents threaten to cut funding for my University if they noe I am dating Me giving tuition jus enough to cover expenses, not school fees... Yup once I went to catch a movie with my good friend (jus like a sister to me) and who else should I see while sending her home but my parents! They were not too happy and grilled me continuously when I went home. Seems like they only approve of me having guy friends and one-on-one outings with gals is a big no-no... But I know better than to argue or quarrel with them as my studies depend on their funding(actually I readily fight for my rights in other issues)... Just feel so controlled; like a caged bird...
Anyone faces a similar situation here? -
One consolation- guys can wait cos as they gets older, they are more eligible & mature.
Talk to your parents, explain that u need to network & socialise now cos u may need your friends' help in future with regards to getting a job etc.
Once u are working, u may not have the time & all the single avail. girls will be taken.
Start with group outings first. Get your friends (incl. girls) to come over & intro to your parents. Chat with girls on the phone but make sure u study. -
paste many men pix in ur room n tell them u wanna becum gay...
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Originally posted by Delta 5:Jus thought I would tell you guys my situation...
I am 21 yrs of age and even though I have the freedom to go out and be with my friends, I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DATE ANYONE... Luckily I have not really met someone that I really like, only the occasional crush but I feel this sucks big time... wat to do my parents threaten to cut funding for my University if they noe I am dating Me giving tuition jus enough to cover expenses, not school fees... Yup once I went to catch a movie with my good friend (jus like a sister to me) and who else should I see while sending her home but my parents! They were not too happy and grilled me continuously when I went home. Seems like they only approve of me having guy friends and one-on-one outings with gals is a big no-no... But I know better than to argue or quarrel with them as my studies depend on their funding(actually I readily fight for my rights in other issues)... Just feel so controlled; like a caged bird...
Anyone faces a similar situation here?
Seriously, nobody can stop you from falling in love, even your parents. If you do fall in love and a potential relationship could have blossom, you parents can't stop you.
Over this 21 years, you have breed a rather unhealthy way of love development. This forceful attempt to dismember your connection with the female counterparts will probably affect you one way or another. You have VERY strong parental influence and this can be for ill.
Please note that your parents will always see you like their little baby, regardless of how old you are. You don't have to rebel openly, but you must communicate and the trust factor must be spoken as part of your communication topic. Your parents have to know this - it DOESN'T mean that when they release the chain on you, you will immediately (either one/more of the following):
I) Date girls (macham zombie see human)
II) Have a girlfriend within weeks (macham zombie attack human)
III) Have engage in sex and make a girl pregnant (macham zombie 'makan' human)
The release of bondage is merely the passport to self actualization, where you can begin from there, BUT it DOESN'T MEAN something has happen and you want to passport for approval. The trust factor is very important; you need to be very firm on saying that you have GROWN up and it's time for you to make decision for YOUR life.
Ensure them this is not a sign of rebellious nature, rather to call for greater trust between parents and child. You got to be firm in this, or they will see that you are uncertain and will strengthen their beliefs (whatever it may be).
P.S: Likely, position and aspects of Saturn, Moon, I.C and M.C very powerful and prominent. Your parents reminded me of PAP - think money can solve everything... zzz.
Cheers -
right... you never learn unless you experience stuff firsthand.. and from there learn how to handle situations with dexterityOriginally posted by rainee:so how? All my life I should remain protected under them?
I know they might be doing this for my own good, but it is harming me more than they ever know... -
Perhaps you've all along been a good son to your parents. If I'm not wrong, you've never argued or challenge their authority over you, am I rite?
If so, then I've come to believe that you've "spoiled" your parents. Itz very natural. All living things tend to act ya ya when they are unchallenged, and will not change for the better.
I too, have been in this route. Told my parents tat I'm interested in this so-and-so gal in class when I was 13, got told-off and "brainwashed" by them. Anyway, I was not easily "brainwashed" and, call me petty but, I still remember tat "talking session" until now.
After tat got rebellous, you know, young over-zealous blood, did things behind my parents back, never tell them anything, went to arcades(was told by parents tat this is where bad pple hangout) and bowling after school, picked up smoking, learnt to stare and fight, talk loudly. But went home, behaving like a little tame kitten.
I only confess to them wat I did when I go to poly, they were surprised, shocked. Anyway, they also L.L. loh. But they were glad I didn't go overboard.
Today I'm 26, and my parents are anxious for me and wan some gal to get me laid. And itz my turn now to "brainwash" them into believing tat I dun need a gal to tie me down, and kept reminding them of wat they said when I was 13.... hee hee.....
Sooo fun to see their guilty faces and keep saying,"Noo... I didn't say tat wat..." 
So dude, go ahead and get a gf, I'll doubt your parents are going to cut your Uni fundings. And if they really do cut it, go work and fund your Uni funding yourself, have some backbone, cos you are already 21 years old, so dun expect to depend on your parents all the time. You wan your freedom, you need to work for it, and not sit in your sofa eat potatoe chips and wait for it to come to you.
But all in all, dun hate your parents, they do all these things for ur own good, just tat they do it the wrong way, if possible, try to correct them. -
in e past, my parents also set the same rule..muz finish uni den can get gf...y? cuz finish uni, got career alr...everything i use my own money to fund...now i using my parents money to fund my expenses n my gf's expense...for wat?? my gf got her own parents to fund her expenses wat...
but i told them, look, i noe wat i'm doing...i dun need u all to worry abt me...since then, i have 8 ex-gf...
be firm w urself...when u have the target, juz attack...i oso nv let them noe i got gf..is they find out themselves...which parents dunwan their child to be happy? they wun object u having gf de..no worries.. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
thanks for the advice... Seriously, nobody can stop you from falling in love, even your parents. If you do fall in love and a potential relationship could have blossom, you parents can't stop you.
Over this 21 years, you have breed a rather unhealthy way of love development. This forceful attempt to dismember your connection with the female counterparts will probably affect you one way or another. You have VERY strong parental influence and this can be for ill.
Please note that your parents will always see you like their little baby, regardless of how old you are. You don't have to rebel openly, but you must communicate and the trust factor must be spoken as part of your communication topic. [b]Your parents have to know this - it DOESN'T mean that when they release the chain on you, you will immediately (either one/more of the following):
I) Date girls (macham zombie see human)
II) Have a girlfriend within weeks (macham zombie attack human)
III) Have engage in sex and make a girl pregnant (macham zombie 'makan' human)
The release of bondage is merely the passport to self actualization, where you can begin from there, BUT it DOESN'T MEAN something has happen and you want to passport for approval. The trust factor is very important; you need to be very firm on saying that you have GROWN up and it's time for you to make decision for YOUR life.
Ensure them this is not a sign of rebellious nature, rather to call for greater trust between parents and child. You got to be firm in this, or they will see that you are uncertain and will strengthen their beliefs (whatever it may be).
P.S: Likely, position and aspects of Saturn, Moon, I.C and M.C very powerful and prominent. Your parents reminded me of PAP - think money can solve everything... zzz.
Cheers [/b]
but all the restrictions have caused me to feel uneasy when going out with girls. So nowadays I jus leave it all to fate and return to my mundane life of studying, sports and slackin'. No more dating for me liaoz...
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U sound so so so like my friend....Originally posted by Delta 5:thanks for the advice...
but all the restrictions have caused me to feel uneasy when going out with girls. So nowadays I jus leave it all to fate and return to my mundane life of studying, sports and slackin'. No more dating for me liaoz... 
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Originally posted by deathscythe99:U sound so so so like my friend....
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Originally posted by Delta 5:thanks for the advice...
but all the restrictions have caused me to feel uneasy when going out with girls. So nowadays I jus leave it all to fate and return to my mundane life of studying, sports and slackin'. No more dating for me liaoz... My ex used to have strong parental influence and many years back, I felt it was like a sub rosa relationship and gave it up (I am a Leo, prefer things to be guang ming zheng da. Of course there were other factors as well).
Read up some old Greek wisdom, you will realise restrictions placed on lovers are futile. Hearts in love burn with powerful passion; nothing can extinguish the flames by force, it can only be done willingly.
Resign to fate?
Maybe you haven't meet someone that will make you challenge your destiny.
Cheers