BF knowing gals in Internet
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Lots of breach in trust within your relationship..?Originally posted by girltroubled:Good evening everyone
Few weeks ago, I had confronted him straight. He said he onli knew gals for fun & didnt meet any of those gals online. The messages were all cut & paste.He consoled me, saying tat I need not be so worried as in future as he wont login anymore. True enough, he didnt login but who knows, few days back, I happened to look into his hp. He had created another account, using other name. I was so heart-pain. I dun understand y he did tat.
He had treated me rather cold recently. Imagine, we were shopping at NTUC, he could walked in front & I walked behind. Kaozzz....
Yesterday, I went in & created an account. I duno if I m luckily or wat, he came & msg "me". I juz played along wif him. See if he would take the initative to ask "me" out lor.
I just dun understand y he did tat. Is it really tat fun 2 know gals online?
Everyday, i had been waiting to see if he did msg "me".
Frankly speaking, I doubt theres any point of confronting him again lor. I had already gave him one chance previously but now, wat had he done again? Sometimes, I think: M I too sensitive or m I really taking things too hard? Shall I let things take its nature course and wait for him 2 break off with me?
Hmm... -
You sure haven't heard of worse stuffs... there are tons of married guys wanting to know more younger female girls online. May it be thru' websites or from IRC (infact i would say you can find alot of them lurking in IRC). And yes, behind their wives' back.Originally posted by girltroubled:Yes, we do feel the same for each other. Imagine, we can plan 2 get married..
Anyway to check if he did meet up those gals??
I believe you should consider twice before even thinking of marrying him.
Actually i feel that it's ok for an attached guy to make more female friends out there, but its definately not right to lie about his status as well as keep it from his gf. Why did he do that? Do it matter he he really met those gals? He wanna meet them... and it's clearly written in his account ya? And if given a chance to meet a pretty babe... what do you think will happen?
I know it's hard to forsake a 2 yr r/s and the dream of getting married, but if u carry on further, u'll sink deeper... it'll be even harder to get back on ur feet again. -
Hi Devil1976Originally posted by Devil1976:Lots of breach in trust within your relationship..?
Hmm...
I think so. I had trusted him but the things he did cant make me trust him again. How I wish I can trust him....But...I really dun understand y he did tat? -
Hi Silv3rgalOriginally posted by silv3rgal:You sure haven't heard of worse stuffs... there are tons of married guys wanting to know more younger female girls online. May it be thru' websites or from IRC (infact i would say you can find alot of them lurking in IRC). And yes, behind their wives' back.
I believe you should consider twice before even thinking of marrying him.
Actually i feel that it's ok for an attached guy to make more female friends out there, but its definately not right to lie about his status as well as keep it from his gf. Why did he do that? Do it matter he he really met those gals? He wanna meet them... and it's clearly written in his account ya? And if given a chance to meet a pretty babe... what do you think will happen?
I know it's hard to forsake a 2 yr r/s and the dream of getting married, but if u carry on further, u'll sink deeper... it'll be even harder to get back on ur feet again.
Thanks for the advice..I do feel its okie 4 him 2 know gals. I did clarified to him tat if he still wans 2 search for a better one, perhaps we should not waste each other's time.Here I m so committed to him n he still wans to search for better one. His repied was if he wans 2 find another one online, he would rather go disco & find as the response is faster. Contradicting, right?Sigh.. -
hmm.Sorry to hear that... Actually i bet he knows very well what he's thinking , he's just denying his motive posing single and wanting to meet up gals....Originally posted by girltroubled:Hi Silv3rgal
Thanks for the advice..I do feel its okie 4 him 2 know gals. I did clarified to him tat if he still wans 2 search for a better one, perhaps we should not waste each other's time.Here I m so committed to him n he still wans to search for better one. His repied was if he wans 2 find another one online, he would rather go disco & find as the response is faster. Contradicting, right?Sigh..
Why not ask urself if you can live and tolerate with this kinda personality of his.. for the next couple of years.. and maybe a life time? I doubt i can if i were u... maybe you should also start looking out for a better guy too... -
Then if he has no feelings for me, y at tat point of time wen I was confronting him, he can jolly well break up with me. y is he dragging lei?I simply dun understand lor...Originally posted by silv3rgal:hmm.Sorry to hear that... Actually i bet he knows very well what he's thinking , he's just denying his motive posing single and wanting to meet up gals....
Why not ask urself if you can live and tolerate with this kinda personality of his.. for the next couple of years.. and maybe a life time? I doubt i can if i were u... maybe you should also start looking out for a better guy too...
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I do agree with what you say..Originally posted by silv3rgal:You sure haven't heard of worse stuffs... there are tons of married guys wanting to know more younger female girls online. May it be thru' websites or from IRC (infact i would say you can find alot of them lurking in IRC). And yes, behind their wives' back.
I believe you should consider twice before even thinking of marrying him.
Actually i feel that it's ok for an attached guy to make more female friends out there, but its definately not right to lie about his status as well as keep it from his gf. Why did he do that? Do it matter he he really met those gals? He wanna meet them... and it's clearly written in his account ya? And if given a chance to meet a pretty babe... what do you think will happen?
I know it's hard to forsake a 2 yr r/s and the dream of getting married, but if u carry on further, u'll sink deeper... it'll be even harder to get back on ur feet again. -
Because he hasn't found a new target yet...Originally posted by girltroubled:Then if he has no feelings for me, y at tat point of time wen I was confronting him, he can jolly well break up with me. y is he dragging lei?I simply dun understand lor...
at least he has got a girl now, its better than nothing...
i ask you.. if you have a car, and u're used to driving for a few years.. will you just sell your car away when you havent even got a new one? provided if you're not forced to do so....
Girltroubled, i really apologise with my rather harsh replies.. maybe i don't know how to phrase things in the nice way...
but thats how i feel bah, it may or may not be true...
Do think about it. : ) -
Tats wat my frds say as well..He might b treating me as a "cushion" lor..I appreciate your reply..Originally posted by silv3rgal:Because he hasn't found a new target yet...
at least he has got a girl now, its better than nothing...
i ask you.. if you have a car, and u're used to driving for a few years.. will you just sell your car away when you havent even got a new one? provided if you're not forced to do so....
Girltroubled, i really apologise with my rather harsh replies.. maybe i don't know how to phrase things in the nice way...
but thats how i feel bah, it may or may not be true...
Do think about it. : ) -
wouldn't it great if you can find a guy who is fully devoted to you, just like how you're commited to him....
I believe you'll find that very special guy someday.. be patient ya..
Meanwhile just move on with ur life? On knowing that ur bf is such a person.. you should know it's really a waste of time making such worthless investment on him liao.... one of my friends was in this kinda situation too... she put in so much effort in that r/s and the guy, and was even saving for their marriage.. in the end the guy left her and she's feeling so empty.. dreams dashed and all... it has been a few months liao.. and she's still feeling so down... haiz...
better find a guy who dunno how to use the internet and who doesn't club or pub.. hahaha
*just kiddin tho'* -
better leave him... the reason he kept u maybe for backup... actually just confront him straight, y do all that stuffs behind ur back... say u noe all about it... if he really loyal to u, y still wan to go make new accounts... my say is just leave him... his intention is clear, he wans someone else...
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I second with u silve3rgal.Originally posted by silv3rgal:wouldn't it great if you can find a guy who is fully devoted to you, just like how you're commited to him....
I believe you'll find that very special guy someday.. be patient ya..
Meanwhile just move on with ur life? On knowing that ur bf is such a person.. you should know it's really a waste of time making such worthless investment on him liao.... one of my friends was in this kinda situation too... she put in so much effort in that r/s and the guy, and was even saving for their marriage.. in the end the guy left her and she's feeling so empty.. dreams dashed and all... it has been a few months liao.. and she's still feeling so down... haiz...
better find a guy who dunno how to use the internet and who doesn't club or pub.. hahaha *just kiddin tho'*
Even if he says he wun be lidat again, there's still a certain level of mistrust....
Now u r not in any marriage status, i suggest its time u tink of urself.... dun let his sweet nothings mislead u anymore.
2 years of dating already and ur guy still hasn't got a stable mindset... so why clinch onto him like a leech?? I m the real life example aridy and i really dun wish u to get into the same situation as me, u know... at least u find out now. If u find out after marriage, u will ve more situations troubling u and it will not be as easy as now to walk off as n when u want.
I m sry cuz i noe i sounded harsh.
But really, there may be numerous guys out there who cud be a better bf n husband to u, who noes how to appreciate and loves u. It's juz that they haven't got the opportunity to know u better or u nv give urself a choice.
Life is unpredictable.... u should be the one controlling ur mind and not let ur sub-consicous mind overruled u.
U can consider urself lucky cuz u haven't marry him.
Take care and pls forgive my harshness. -
Hmm... But you DO have a CHOICEOriginally posted by girltroubled:Then if he has no feelings for me, y at tat point of time wen I was confronting him, he can jolly well break up with me. y is he dragging lei?I simply dun understand lor... 
I'm not trying to say much of your bf's conducts at this point... But rather... There's just no trust within this relationship of yours at this moment.. But of course, whether he's really trust-worthy or not is more for your own determination...?
Since you've got so many doubts... What do you intend to do about it...?
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Come from mountains or what? i am looking forward to see this sort of fella man..Originally posted by silv3rgal:better find a guy who dunno how to use the internet and who doesn't club or pub.. hahaha *just kiddin tho'*
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Heard this year plenty of "tao hua" in r/s.
So when a r/s makes you feel troubled and not secure, ask yourself what wrong has he done to you and the r/s. if it's a character problem (no respect, no integrity, lie, evasive), he will still commit it again when he's got the chance
and character is something hard to change.
I know when my sis have this type of bf, she'll tell him to go ahead and chat with the girls as many as he likes. Her real meaning starts to sink in only when he couldn't reach and find her. She'll essentially leave her "trouble" behind and moved on ready for someone better to come along. Cruel you may say but she never takes r/s with any man lightly and for fun. When she meets a man like that, she stays "far away" from him. The guy blames her? He's only got himself to blame.
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From the wellOriginally posted by Kennerve:Come from mountains or what? i am looking forward to see this sort of fella man.. -
Hi all
Thanks so much for the valuable advice...I do agreed with all the things u said.... I should think more of myself..I think I know what I should do.."Kick" him off...Time can heal the pain but it would leave a scar..a deep one. -
Hey~! That s a good one gal... I'm glad to hear that you're taking things rationally (which in alot of cases, alot of people can't)... all the best ya... 2 yrs ain't a big deal after all...it's just history.. and ur future's in your hands.. : )Originally posted by girltroubled:Hi all
Thanks so much for the valuable advice...I do agreed with all the things u said.... I should think more of myself..I think I know what I should do.."Kick" him off...Time can heal the pain but it would leave a scar..a deep one.
Take care!! -
orchard a lot...people mountain people sea.Originally posted by Kennerve:Come from mountains or what? i am looking forward to see this sort of fella man.. -
hey girl, I know this can be very hard. but it's better to solve it now then to let it drag further.Originally posted by girltroubled:Hi all
Thanks so much for the valuable advice...I do agreed with all the things u said.... I should think more of myself..I think I know what I should do.."Kick" him off...Time can heal the pain but it would leave a scar..a deep one.
I have to say this, (it's not pleasant). this situation with you and your bf, judging from what you told me, it's mainly his "fault"... but the fact that you did all thse things behind his back, checking up on him, it's also a breach of his trust for you.
What I'm saying is that. this relationship maybe over and done with. but when you start a new one, I know there will be scars... but do not let these scars scare you into breaching that trust too. Once the trust is broken, it's very difficult to maintain a relationship.
Oh by the way, if you are bored or need to talk to some one... PM me. remember, your friends is very important right now. they can help you through this IF you let them. -
I will not actually say that its a breach of trust for girltroubled. Why?? Cause I feel that what she is doing is actually protecting herself..Originally posted by smudgey:hey girl, I know this can be very hard. but it's better to solve it now then to let it drag further.
I have to say this, (it's not pleasant). this situation with you and your bf, judging from what you told me, it's mainly his "fault"... but the fact that you did all thse things behind his back, checking up on him, it's also a breach of his trust for you.
What I'm saying is that. this relationship maybe over and done with. but when you start a new one, I know there will be scars... but do not let these scars scare you into breaching that trust too. Once the trust is broken, it's very difficult to maintain a relationship.
Oh by the way, if you are bored or need to talk to some one... PM me. remember, your friends is very important right now. they can help you through this IF you let them.
She has given that trust to her bf.. when she confronted him the first time.. But the guy has done it again.. Which made her do things this way..
I do agree with you on the fact that this is a deep scar that will be left in you for the time being.. But don let the scar affect you in future relationships as it won't do you good and will not be fair to your new partner.
Start afresh. There is always a down most time in a relationship.. But the highest point can also be found with the right one you are spending your life with. -
Halo smudgeyOriginally posted by smudgey:hey girl, I know this can be very hard. but it's better to solve it now then to let it drag further.
I have to say this, (it's not pleasant). this situation with you and your bf, judging from what you told me, it's mainly his "fault"... but the fact that you did all thse things behind his back, checking up on him, it's also a breach of his trust for you.
What I'm saying is that. this relationship maybe over and done with. but when you start a new one, I know there will be scars... but do not let these scars scare you into breaching that trust too. Once the trust is broken, it's very difficult to maintain a relationship.
Oh by the way, if you are bored or need to talk to some one... PM me. remember, your friends is very important right now. they can help you through this IF you let them.
Thanks a lot -
dun be so suspicious lah...Originally posted by girltroubled:Then if he has no feelings for me, y at tat point of time wen I was confronting him, he can jolly well break up with me. y is he dragging lei?I simply dun understand lor...
since you share computer with him, then he may also share with someone else also mah...maybe its his brother's or cousin's account leh?
or his friends when his friends come and need to check leh? so is not his mah...
and also even if its his, he may just want to enlarge his circles of friends, not only girls wat, but both guys and gals...
so many possibility....duh...you think tooo much.