BGR: Please tell me what to do...
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Yeah agreed... Take it easy... and yeah... dun ask how or what to do to forget her... Just let it be... time will heal it... Surely it hurts, I can be frank with you... but hey where are your friends and others who care for you? Spend more time with them and gradually subconsciously you won't even be thinking about her anymore...Originally posted by X-10A:hey man tell me about it.
read from ur stuff.
felt we are in the same shoes.
got very close at first, shower her with care , time , everything.
she did say she got some feelings too.
After tt day when we both confess, we are still friends but we both have feelings for each other.tts 3 weeks again, we normally would got out once or twice a week. been 3 weeks since we went out haha...after tt time around last week or wat i dunnoe wat happen, she became very unconcern for me, dun reply my sms frequently, ignore wat i say and stuff.act blur, lame tt kinda stuff. avoid question. chances is that the gals have a change of hearts man.
gals change heart fast. i still thinking about her alot.
Forget about her.
they are just leading us on.when they are lonely, they'll find us. when they got something to do or got other people that are more interested, they will throw us 1 side.
my serious pov.
Hope that it helps in a way or another. Cus seriously i dun see much different in our situation.
cheers! -
frankly speaking, i dont have many friends... i've been a loner for long... and i live with that, i dont feel i'm seriously lacking of friends even... and i never fell for any girl for these years... as much as i do for her...
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In that case... try engaging in activities that you like to do normally that you might not have been doing... at the very least... give yourself a break from this now...
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alright, i'm going to try... thanks alot for ur time fredex... u're great... thanks...
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you r too blind by the fact that she does not love you at all.
She has already rejected you nicely but you just refuse to face it.
What we say here will not help you, as long as you keep living in your self made love world.
Just seat down and think carefully
Is it a one sided love?
Did she ever say she love you?
Her actions shows that she treats you as a friend if she really loved you she will hug and kiss you asap why would she still wamt to chat with other guys and go out with them? -
yupx find things to do.
whaha this few days i have been camping in arcade. playing games with friends. hell of a fun. Didt think about her abit when i playing.
but still when the exitement die down, will still miss her.
since the gals also not interested in us liaoz, give us f-up attitude, why shld we still be even bothered to get our head up side down over them?
if so then they are not worth it, we deserve someone better.
Treat people the way they treat u.
CHEERS!~ -
No problem dude... Always look on the bright side of life~!!
Cheers~
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sometime gals dun wan show they love the guy more than the guy love them....so they act uncaring..
Anyway, just go out wit another gal and see wat happens.
But underneath all those layers of advice..ur simply screwed. Who ask you so popo mama? But there may still be hope for u tho
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i'd say that she probably thought she was serious about you.. but then she was just having an infatuation with you.. well.. thats why i bet in a few weeks time.. she'd move on to another guy.. unless they have already started dating and are gf/bf or whatever u wanna call that kinda relationship
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hiOriginally posted by TidusX:To anyone whose reading this long problem of mine, whether u got an answer to my problem or not, i really appreciate ur effort. Thank you very very very much...
I'm a poly student and i got to know this girl around end of january. we started off well and got close to each other pretty soon. i could tell that she was intrested in me becoz i asked certain qus and her reply was obvious. there was once she was sick but insisted on going somewhere far for dinner with me... but i did not tell her abt my feelings becoz i wanted to get closer to her and then reveal my feelings. i thought this would ensure i could get her.
However as time passes, she got colder towards me. despite sacrificing alot of time for her and showering her with gifts. her time is spent on her other friends, guys and girls. instead of me. i couldnt take it anymore and i revealed my feelings for her. she then said she knew this was coming and she didnt wanted to be in a relationship. her actions before were very much showing she was intrested in me...
but god knows when she started changing and before i could realise it, she was treating me like a normal friend. she treats her friends very well, so i often got mistaken. but there is the difference in ur actions if u're intrested in someone or u're treating ur friend well. and i could tell that difference.
we arent as good as before but i've always been very dedicated to her and i never asked for her to sacrifice anything back. i just hope she could accept me... but she never did. i used to have academic and sports excellence but its now deterioating... i'm considered an achiever, and my performance now is really a big disaster. i just cannot focus on anything i do... still, my mind is sticking onto her...
i often miss her very much. every moment. the last thing before i sleep i think of her... so is the first thing i thought of when i wake up... i go to sch, listening to class, walking, eating, playing... virtually everything i do, she's in my mind... i've let her know abt how i missed her, but she doesnt have any response to it... she never reveals her feelings for me whether she likes me or not even though i asked her. if she doesnt, why not just tell me and let me give up. if she does, why not let me know and be with me... i used to msg her everyday and when sometimes she msgs me first... but she doesnt now. and i tried not msging her for a week and she doesnt even bother to msg me! she's now with another guy friend and she seems to be in good terms with him...
i'm feeling really bad and i dont know what to do. i've been telling myself to give up on her but i just couldnt do it. i've told myself to go for her one last time, if it doenst work out well, then lets forget it... but everytime it worked out somewhere in the middle. not bad and not good. i just dont know wat to do now... the worst feeling is when u're not very good with her, and not too bad, hanging somewhere in the middle... we used to be very good... but now we're not... someone please tell me what should i do...
1st of all i would like to tell u i had the same scenario as u when i am in poly 1 year ago... but in the end i am with her happily for more than a year and we are planning to get married... wat i want to tell u is that dun give up... as long as she is not married yet u still stands a chance.. u already lose the chance when u are having gd terms with her in the past, u shd have at least told her how u really feels and girls love to have those romantic feelings.. at least make her feel touched...
i treated my girl with all my heart in the past during my "chasing" period with her.. that lasted for like 2 years b4 we got together.. she told me 1 of the things that i did for her which touched her is that there was once in a chalet, i helped her caught cockroaches as she is v v afraid of it... there will be things for u to do for her which will touch her in some ways i believe.. ?
i suffered alot with my gf during the courtship period, there were tears always in the past... but beautiful days will come after hardship i believe... but still the whole situation between u and her u shd know best, whether u still stands only u knows.... -
u shd excel more in front of her.. who would want her bf to be a loner? try to mix around, be more popular... seriously speaking, last time in my class there was this guy who likes my gf but he is a loner.. in the end my gf told me she dun like him and ended up with me...Originally posted by TidusX:frankly speaking, i dont have many friends... i've been a loner for long... and i live with that, i dont feel i'm seriously lacking of friends even... and i never fell for any girl for these years... as much as i do for her...
do more things to touch her, impress her etc. and of course occasionally plan some suprises for her... -
tt's y i said.. she sian 1/2 liao.. most probably sick of all the waiting for u to confess..Originally posted by TidusX:u're wrong. i did show action. i was being very good towards her and sacrificing much time for her. i didnt reveal my feelings becoz i tot it wasnt time yet... i wana be sure i really could get her... and meanwhile i continued to show her that i really cared and am true towards her... but she just went cold towards me as time passes... and i got no idea why...
hmmm.. actions.. we always tot it's obvious "i like you cos i treat u better than i treat anyone else".. but then.. no one in this world will ever know what another person is thinking.. UNLESS u say it out.. right?
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im too jaded to waste my time and money liking a girl for more than few weeks. there are so many girls that attracted to you and can hug kiss n more n ask to be ur gf or accept by 1 or 2 dates, and have great *** too, they probably much better in many ways then the one you wasting ur time on. anyway if she doesnt like you that much or attracted physically to you at the start, DONT TRY to make her like you, then its not her real feelings there from the start already what.
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I guess in the beginning she showed interest but now it seems she has a change of heart. U just have to accept it & get over her.Originally posted by TidusX:does that mean that she aint serious abt me from the start? do i really have to forget abt her? i cant get her off my mind, its really bothering everything i do... what can i do to forget abt her... i use to run whenever i have problems, i wont be thinking abt the problem during running and i'd face it better after the run... but she's in my mind even everytime when i'm running... it just makes me stop and think abt her... what do i have to do to stop thinking abt her...
No point pestering her if she is not interested. Just remain as friends. -
Originally posted by TidusX:To anyone whose reading this long problem of mine, whether u got an answer to my problem or not, i really appreciate ur effort. Thank you very very very much...
I'm a poly student and i got to know this girl around end of january. we started off well and got close to each other pretty soon. i could tell that she was intrested in me becoz i asked certain qus and her reply was obvious. there was once she was sick but insisted on going somewhere far for dinner with me... but i did not tell her abt my feelings becoz i wanted to get closer to her and then reveal my feelings. i thought this would ensure i could get her.
However as time passes, she got colder towards me. despite sacrificing alot of time for her and showering her with gifts. her time is spent on her other friends, guys and girls. instead of me. i couldnt take it anymore and i revealed my feelings for her. she then said she knew this was coming and she didnt wanted to be in a relationship. her actions before were very much showing she was intrested in me...
but god knows when she started changing and before i could realise it, she was treating me like a normal friend. she treats her friends very well, so i often got mistaken. but there is the difference in ur actions if u're intrested in someone or u're treating ur friend well. and i could tell that difference.
we arent as good as before but i've always been very dedicated to her and i never asked for her to sacrifice anything back. i just hope she could accept me... but she never did. i used to have academic and sports excellence but its now deterioating... i'm considered an achiever, and my performance now is really a big disaster. i just cannot focus on anything i do... still, my mind is sticking onto her...
i often miss her very much. every moment. the last thing before i sleep i think of her... so is the first thing i thought of when i wake up... i go to sch, listening to class, walking, eating, playing... virtually everything i do, she's in my mind... i've let her know abt how i missed her, but she doesnt have any response to it... she never reveals her feelings for me whether she likes me or not even though i asked her. if she doesnt, why not just tell me and let me give up. if she does, why not let me know and be with me... i used to msg her everyday and when sometimes she msgs me first... but she doesnt now. and i tried not msging her for a week and she doesnt even bother to msg me! she's now with another guy friend and she seems to be in good terms with him...
i'm feeling really bad and i dont know what to do. i've been telling myself to give up on her but i just couldnt do it. i've told myself to go for her one last time, if it doenst work out well, then lets forget it... but everytime it worked out somewhere in the middle. not bad and not good. i just dont know wat to do now... the worst feeling is when u're not very good with her, and not too bad, hanging somewhere in the middle... we used to be very good... but now we're not... someone please tell me what should i do...
She already state that she prefer to be single. She acknowledge your liking for you, but retain silence regarding her feelings.
IMHO, you are treading on very dangerous terrain. Dangerous, not as in life-threatening kind; more like every slight movement would create a chain of reaction. She probably holds some kind of feelings for you, but it isn't strong enough to justify a relationship. There could be some unseen body language or situation that took place and she deemed it as either anti-seductive (minus marks) or unsuitable.
It's great when you have the fighter spirit to try and win the affection of your Love, but knowing your circumstances is critically essential. You can't just fight to win your way out, thinking that if you don't do it now, everything will be gone forever. This is precisely the kind of mindset that sets to deteriorate your relationship with her and tighten the intensity. Isn't it... like now?
If you could hear the stand in her heart, you would hear things like 'Sigh... I already told him that...'
You may not need to give up, but certainly, you need to take step one HUGE step back and retrace your route. To bash up a wall literally is incredibly foolish, thinking that you would break it down and advance forward. Move backwards and do some observation first. It would enlighten your mind because you begin to understand more. Eventually whether you feel you want to respect her decision or not... by then, you should have a rough idea.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier: She already state that she prefer to be single. She acknowledge your liking for you, but retain silence regarding her feelings.
IMHO, you are treading on very dangerous terrain. Dangerous, not as in life-threatening kind; more like every slight movement would create a chain of reaction. She probably holds some kind of feelings for you, but it isn't strong enough to justify a relationship. There could be some unseen body language or situation that took place and she deemed it as either anti-seductive (minus marks) or unsuitable.
It's great when you have the fighter spirit to try and win the affection of your Love, but knowing your circumstances is critically essential. You can't just fight to win your way out, thinking that if you don't do it now, everything will be gone forever. This is precisely the kind of mindset that sets to deteriorate your relationship with her and tight the intensity. Isn't it... like now?
If you could hear the stand in her heart, you would hear things like 'Sigh... I already told him that...'
You may not need to give up, but certainly, you need to take step one HUGE step back and retrace your route. To bash up a wall literally is incredibly foolish, thinking that you would break it down and advance forward. Move backwards and do some observation first. It would enlighten your mind because you begin to understand more. Eventually whether you feel you want to respect her decision or not... by then, you should have a rough idea.
Cheers
I see many things in here.
Cheers -
You should know what kind of a person she is by now...think about it...would you want someone like that as your girl? Take the time you have away from her to improve yourself. Maybe she'll see it, maybe she won't, but others will appreciate you for who you are and what you do. Don't let your whole life crash for one person, because the only one who'll really suffer is you.
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I dunno what you shld do...but she's not a tool for you to stop all your agonies, though all of them are related to her...Originally posted by TidusX:does that mean that she aint serious abt me from the start? do i really have to forget abt her? i cant get her off my mind, its really bothering everything i do... what can i do to forget abt her... i use to run whenever i have problems, i wont be thinking abt the problem during running and i'd face it better after the run... but she's in my mind even everytime when i'm running... it just makes me stop and think abt her... what do i have to do to stop thinking abt her...
All her actions/feedbacks have shown that she's avoiding you or rather, bo hiew you....perphaps she doesn't wanna open up her mouth to tell you..just hope that you'll understand thru her actions??( Provided this's what she's thinking, otherwise, you're just a passerby)... -
In most courtships, there's a "window of opportunity" after that window closes, ... when my bf courted me, he took his time, held my hand but still nothing till i got impatient and pissed. so i asked him what are we? if u can't say it then I'll take it as we're nothing. he didn't quite say it but he still made his intentions clear... point is i am not a girl who will make the move but i really like him so i did.Originally posted by TidusX:does that mean that she aint serious abt me from the start? do i really have to forget abt her? i cant get her off my mind, its really bothering everything i do... what can i do to forget abt her... i use to run whenever i have problems, i wont be thinking abt the problem during running and i'd face it better after the run... but she's in my mind even everytime when i'm running... it just makes me stop and think abt her... what do i have to do to stop thinking abt her...
in your case, it could be :
1. once the window closed, it is end of story she gave up and move on to next target.
2. window closed but there's a gap. and she wants you to work hard to open the gap.
my advise is if you really really like her, hang on try to move her with your perserverance. but always bear in mind know when to throw in the towel. -
Now... There are 3 colored areas above... 'Blues' are the ones YOU THINK.... 'Browns' are PLAIN FACTS.... 'RED' is the one which I shall reply to you shortly....Originally posted by TidusX:To anyone whose reading this long problem of mine, whether u got an answer to my problem or not, i really appreciate ur effort. Thank you very very very much...
I'm a poly student and i got to know this girl around end of january. we started off well and got close to each other pretty soon. i could tell that she was intrested in me becoz i asked certain qus and her reply was obvious. there was once she was sick but insisted on going somewhere far for dinner with me... but i did not tell her abt my feelings becoz i wanted to get closer to her and then reveal my feelings. i thought this would ensure i could get her.
However as time passes, she got colder towards me. despite sacrificing alot of time for her and showering her with gifts. her time is spent on her other friends, guys and girls. instead of me. i couldnt take it anymore and i revealed my feelings for her. she then said she knew this was coming and she didnt wanted to be in a relationship. her actions before were very much showing she was intrested in me...
but god knows when she started changing and before i could realise it, she was treating me like a normal friend. she treats her friends very well, so i often got mistaken. but there is the difference in ur actions if u're intrested in someone or u're treating ur friend well. and i could tell that difference.
we arent as good as before but i've always been very dedicated to her and i never asked for her to sacrifice anything back. i just hope she could accept me... but she never did. i used to have academic and sports excellence but its now deterioating... i'm considered an achiever, and my performance now is really a big disaster. i just cannot focus on anything i do... still, my mind is sticking onto her...
i often miss her very much. every moment. the last thing before i sleep i think of her... so is the first thing i thought of when i wake up... i go to sch, listening to class, walking, eating, playing... virtually everything i do, she's in my mind... i've let her know abt how i missed her, but she doesnt have any response to it... she never reveals her feelings for me whether she likes me or not even though i asked her. if she doesnt, why not just tell me and let me give up. if she does, why not let me know and be with me... i used to msg her everyday and when sometimes she msgs me first... but she doesnt now. and i tried not msging her for a week and she doesnt even bother to msg me! she's now with another guy friend and she seems to be in good terms with him...
i'm feeling really bad and i dont know what to do. i've been telling myself to give up on her but i just couldnt do it. i've told myself to go for her one last time, if it doenst work out well, then lets forget it... but everytime it worked out somewhere in the middle. not bad and not good. i just dont know wat to do now... the worst feeling is when u're not very good with her, and not too bad, hanging somewhere in the middle... we used to be very good... but now we're not... someone please tell me what should i do...
Simply because you're IN LOVE with her... Makes you 'see the world differently'.... The BLUE is WHAT YOU THINK and some of YOUR WISHFUL THINKINGS...
RED is answered by your BROWN which you simply REFUSE to accept...
So you better start to THINK AGAIN....? -
It simply means "If it is, it is... If it's not, it's not...."Originally posted by TidusX:does that mean that she aint serious abt me from the start? do i really have to forget abt her? i cant get her off my mind, its really bothering everything i do... what can i do to forget abt her... i use to run whenever i have problems, i wont be thinking abt the problem during running and i'd face it better after the run... but she's in my mind even everytime when i'm running... it just makes me stop and think abt her... what do i have to do to stop thinking abt her... -
She never accept me as in... she didnt wanted to reply when i asked her... or her replies were... i dont know how i'm feeling towards you... that was abt 2 months ago... now, its pretty bad... her replies to my smses are cold... the 1 word type of answers... and she never asked abt whether i've eaten or wat time my sch starts/finishes already...
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should i now continue to msg her like before? or should i just stop msging her and give each other some time to cool down... i'm feeling that tensions are running high between us... but she often is very very passive... sometimes when i feel we're having a gap and i talked to her abt it... but she always says "huh? how come u're thinking like that..." when she says something like that, it usually means she's getting woked up...
and, abt 1 week ago, we we talking things out and she said, "sometimes i feel happy and touched by some of the things u say and do... but i wana remain single coz thats the thing i want most now..." which is freedom... i've been trying to convince her that being with me doesnt mean u lose ur freedom... and i said, if we're going to be together, all i asked is u can spent one third of a weekend day with me... thats all and you can spend the rest of ur time the way u like...
she always says she wana remain single... should i just respect her and leave her alone... but i really do wana be with her... and i dont want her to feel tense becoz i keep trying... should i continue to talk to her like normal? or should i keep quiet for sometime... if i talk to her like normal, i can be pretty sure that things are gonna get nowhere again... if i keep quiet, would she feel that i'm not intrested in her anymore... do you understand why i'm feeling like i'm hanging in the middle now... i'm trying very hard to think of the right way to get out of this... -
and, i'm going to have training tomorrow... and i'm gonna see her and 2 other guys... 1 of them being the one she's closed with... that guy recently asked her out for movies and she agreed. when i asked her "he asked u out to watch izzit?", she said, "yea, we both wanted to watch that"... they always talked and laughed during trainings... it hurts me to see them... should i just leave my training session early becoz i'm not going to be able to focus anyway... i really wana just step back and cool down first...(meaning we dont talk for sometime...) but i dont want her to think that i've given up and am not sincere abt her...
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I feel that you should totally forget about her. She maybe just 'testing' you only or she may have found another guy friend who are so much better than you in many ways.Originally posted by TidusX:To anyone whose reading this long problem of mine, whether u got an answer to my problem or not, i really appreciate ur effort. Thank you very very very much...
if someone please tell me what should i do...
I am also facing the same problem as you right now....