BGR: Please tell me what to do...
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Tidus,
U mentioned that u used to excel in academic & sports. I guess u should be able to understand the personal satisfaction it brings when u pushes yourself hard. Always edging yourself on a bit more for the result that you wanted.
We know our limits but sometimes we will like to do it all over again once in a while, just to get that euphoric exprience. We will be very focus and can even disregard our surroundings even people's feelings. Kinda selfish even.
Why am I writing all this? Well, this may apply to her as well.
In doing what she does, after she has done & gone, she left something behind in you.
I won't say you have been taken for a ride, she may be serious before but
we humans sometimes are very foucs one minute and the next moment, it will just vanish as it have appeared.
Well, that's my thoughts, Anyway, it may not be true.
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She say she dun wanna get into a relationship yet ... hmmm maybe she is still in the process of searching for her bf and u are just one potential one .. she is probably just keeping her options open by going out with other ppl , so i suggest instead of spending ya time fantasizing about her why not spend the time building up ya studies and sports .. which maybe one of the things she liked about you from the start by detiorating in these areas will only make u seem "weak" to her . Whats more she has stated her stand many times that she is not willing to get into a relationship now ... if you push her too much she might end up ignoring you further so play it cool for now concentrate on your studies and sports because these things will always benefit you whether you end up with her anot . Of course another thing may be that she has just ended a bad relationship lately and is not ready for another 1 yet , which maybe why she is looking ard to find the right one so as not to be hurt again . SO for now what i am saying is to not pressure her so muhc and instead focus on ya studies and sports which will yield you more results
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One thing I would like to add is, if she do finds someone she likes, all the crap about freedom lah, remain single lah, become monk/nun lah, will be conveniently forgotten.
In fact, You may even think the excuse is cooked up to reject him. -
Many things?Originally posted by M©+square:
I see many things in here.
Cheers
P.S: Hoi... seven month now leh...
Cheers -
"she always says she wana remain single... should i just respect her and leave her alone... but i really do wana be with her... and i dont want her to feel tense becoz i keep trying... should i continue to talk to her like normal? or should i keep quiet for sometime... if i talk to her like normal, i can be pretty sure that things are gonna get nowhere again... if i keep quiet, would she feel that i'm not intrested in her anymore..."
seems that all you care is about yourself.
Is always I want to be with her, I want this, I want that.
Have you respect what she says?
Love is to respect a person and her wishes, not forcing her to accept you because you want her.
How would you feel if someone keep pestering you to accept her?
I really pity the girl not you cos it seems like she has no freedom. She feels relax with her friends cos they do not force her to do things she do not like. -
Tidus I understand how you feel but you must know that sports and relationships are seperate entities. Which means that both of them don't mix with each other.
Yes you can train yourself excessively before a race and get 1st prize as a result of your hard work. Sports is usally the case of as long as you train hard day and night , the championship is clearly yours. But you must understand that no matter how hard you try to get a girl to develop feelings for you , it does not really mean that she might fall for you at the end of the day.
Respect is the key word. Respect her decision although it really hurts bad and trust me , I've gone through this before and I'm besides I guess we are of the same age group. I never had a girlfriend when I was in secondary school but rather I was always trying my best to get a girl's heart. What I got in the end was not the girl's heart but rather experiences on the DO's and DON'Ts of it.
I really hope you could take what you're experiencing now as a learning experience. Analyse what the two of you went through together in the past and use it to your advantage. Take history as your mirror in life and move on. I know it's really hard to move on but as long as you take the initiative , things would take a better turn gradually. Don't tell yourself it's so hard to move on when you yourself don't even take the initiative to move on. Even I myself am slowing taking the initiative to move on.
I suggest you skip your training lesson this week since you mention that you can't face her together with the other guy. But then again , just because she talks , laughs and hangs out with him , it does not really mean that she likes him. I think you need some time to take your mind off her and look at things from a broader prospective. -
eh bro
this happened to me before la
normally this kind of shit
happens when the girl doesnt really know what she wants
trust me , chances are she probably likes you
she just doesnt want a relationship for whatever reason . there are various reasons .
she will be really nice to you until she realizes what shes getting herself into then she will be a bitch to try to get you to go away . but deep down she would still care for you.
anyway you can either move on or if you REALLY like her , you can carry on chasing , if you have the patience and sincerity and your not a fuckinguglyfuckface ( even then maybe can ) , you will get her eventually , -
seems like she has liked you before but u failed to make some key moves before she loses interest in you. I think this is a bit about the timing. you have to strike when the iron is hot.
sounds a bit like my case but i think she still likes me that's why she didnt ignore me, partly because we're in the same class as well.
maybe you should learn how to let go and start to accept her as an ordinary friend instead. i feel its better than going overboard and losing her as a friend altogether. I know its hard for you but i feel that's the best way out for you. I also understand that you really want her to be yours but given at this state of things, i think its time to let go.
the above are just my views and my recommendations.
the final decision is still up to you.
cheers!
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ok, i spent some time reading all the posts and i still feel that, what is meant to be will be. If she is meant to be yours, she will be, and why do i say so? Look at it this way, she doesnt seem serious about you at all, and she is going out with other guys and stuff. also, i believe you asked her stuff like " you went out with (referring to the guy she went out with) him ? ". i believe this irritates her.
she clearly gave you signs that she does not want to have a relationship with you, and if you really love her, you will be happy if she is happy. By insisting that she has to be with you, you want/love her. however, i see it this way, you want her more than you love her. give this a try dude, you're letting your emotions and thoughts get to you too much, try and lighten up for yourself and your family. do you know that depression and stress can lead to bad things happening in your life.
i know to do so is not as easy as typing this whole post out, but i just want you to give a go at it. there are many fish in the sea, and if you can't catch one, you just can't. you have to learn how to pick up yourself, mend your broken heart, and give it to someone else. i have said enough.