The invitation has surfaced
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My first topic in AA, and I believe this question has been asked so many times but just want to ask again.
Just received in my letter box today, the invitation card that I have been dreading all these while.
The invitation to my ex gf's wedding.
This is where the problem arise, should I go or not, and if yes, should I go alone?
Need advice
Confused ToffeeClub1929 -
depends on your relationship with your ex i supposeOriginally posted by ToffeeClub1929:My first topic in AA, and I believe this question has been asked so many times but just want to ask again.
Just received in my letter box today, the invitation card that I have been dreading all these while.
The invitation to my ex gf's wedding.
This is where the problem arise, should I go or not, and if yes, should I go alone?
Need advice
Confused ToffeeClub1929 -
just send ur present there can liao and depends on whether ur ex really want u there or not
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We "grew up together"Originally posted by Fatum:depends on your relationship with your ex i suppose
We seen each other mature from teenagers to adulthood, she from girl to a lady and me from a guy to a man (cannot be verified though). Surpported each other through the thin and thick. Cried and laughed together we did.
She waited for me as I served my NS and together we went overseas to study. That was when hell broke loose. -
if u are uncomfortable then dun go
send a gift -
What's the status of your relationship now? Are you still close friends, or has what happened overseas created a rift between you?
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Go if you have let go, and you can bear seeing her kiss another man, behaving intimately with him, with everyone around them wishing them happiness for their entire lifetime together...
Don't go if you still have feelings for her, as in you are still hurting from the separation, if you can't bear to see her walk away with another man, if you can't bear the thoughts that the bridegroom is not you... -
Did I ask my friends and was surprised by the adviceOriginally posted by FireIce:if u are uncomfortable then dun go
send a gift
Guys: Don't go unless you bring a more chio gal with u
Girls: Go lah, nothing wrong, prove that you have moved on -
if she send u a invitation card mean .. she still treat u as frenz ...
so nw has to depend on u .. whether u want to go anot ...
send her a gift for the wedding is definately a must .... -
can you describe what happened? just want to know who was at fault then.Originally posted by ToffeeClub1929:We "grew up together"
We seen each other mature from teenagers to adulthood, she from girl to a lady and me from a guy to a man (cannot be verified though). Surpported each other through the thin and thick. Cried and laughed together we did.
She waited for me as I served my NS and together we went overseas to study. That was when hell broke loose. -
I have never been able to be close friends with my exs...Originally posted by Gedanken:What's the status of your relationship now? Are you still close friends, or has what happened overseas created a rift between you?
Very difficult for me, the occasional phone calls here and there
I was not informed of the ROM, and was the last one to find out. -
well, go ! ... and wish her well .....
that's the least you can do ... be happy for her ....
unless you think there are residual feelings lingering on her side ....
if so keep away and leave her in peace .. -
Me took drugs there and then.Originally posted by Deportivo:can you describe what happened? just want to know who was at fault then.
No need to say I also know my fault -
She used to be the most beloved woman in ur life. Though things didn't work out, there's no need to turn "stranger" rite?. For men, maybe its abt bruised ego. But for her, she would really like to have ur blessings. U played an important part in her life.
Go lah.. be gracious! Invite her & her hubby when its ur turn next time.
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Yeah, you are right about the bruised ego thingy... guys just need that "face" sometimesOriginally posted by Camellias4me:She used to be the most beloved woman in ur life. Though things didn't work out, there's no need to turn "stranger" rite?. For men, maybe its abt bruised ego. But for her, she would really like to have ur blessings. U played an important part in her life.
Go lah.. be gracious! Invite her & her hubby when its ur turn next time. -
Uhm... so, what is your intention out of all this? To show her that you've moved on, or?Originally posted by ToffeeClub1929:Yeah, you are right about the bruised ego thingy... guys just need that "face" sometimes
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That "face" will be saved if u can turn up on her wedding nite, giving her ur sincere blessings, show her dat u'r doing gd urself after since.Originally posted by ToffeeClub1929:Yeah, you are right about the bruised ego thingy... guys just need that "face" sometimes
This move will only do gd for the "friendship".. unless u decide dat ur "face" (bruised ego) matters more than her lifetime happiness.
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You only need to remember one piece of advice when you attend her wedding.
The free flow of alcohol is for everybody except you.
Really.
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Well... i believe you should really get over your ex... in that case if you go and witness her marriage with ur own eyes.. maybe you'll be able to get over her and move on??? what that doesn't kill you makes you stronger : )
Since she's really sincere on inviting you, maybe you should just give her a lil' face... and... don't forget to bring a gal along..hehehe... -
No beer, wine or Martell??!!!Originally posted by charlize:You only need to remember one piece of advice when you attend her wedding.
The free flow of alcohol is for everybody except you.
Really.
How to wash down those rubbery jellyfish and overfried chicken meat
That why sometimes I love weddings
Alcohol...hmmm -
I also want to bring a gal along if I canOriginally posted by silv3rgal:Well... i believe you should really get over your ex... in that case if you go and witness her marriage with ur own eyes.. maybe you'll be able to get over her and move on??? what that doesn't kill you makes you stronger : )
Since she's really sincere on inviting you, maybe you should just give her a lil' face... and... don't forget to bring a gal along..hehehe...
But it is not like choosing one from the streets and I dun have so much money to hire social escorts -
Well... i am sure u have some other good female friends right? Just tell one of them ur situation and ask her to tag along lorz~Originally posted by ToffeeClub1929:I also want to bring a gal along if I can
But it is not like choosing one from the streets and I dun have so much money to hire social escorts -
This solution did come across my mindOriginally posted by silv3rgal:Well... i am sure u have some other good female friends right? Just tell one of them ur situation and ask her to tag along lorz~
But the problem is, these female friends were in the same class as us
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No other alternatives ah..... ask ur guy frens to intro some to you loh..lolz.. can take ur pick...Originally posted by ToffeeClub1929:This solution did come across my mind
But the problem is, these female friends were in the same class as us -
Dats where cousins (biao jie biao mei) comes in handy.Originally posted by ToffeeClub1929:This solution did come across my mind
But the problem is, these female friends were in the same class as us 