Loving a Girl so difficult???
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I know of this girl for 5 years, & in the first year, I went out with her a number of times & found myself in love with her. I brought her to one of my friend's BBQ at Pasir Ris & there was once when she was scared, she hugged me. However, she fell in love with another guy who was at the BBQ that night just like that..
I was wooing her for so long & the guy just got her so easily.. I was really sad to see that.. but I did not give up. Until somewhat later, I felt that I was not good enough for her & decide to backoff.. I did not contact her for about 2 years, however, she did SMS me some little messages, & I did called her once or twice.. During that period when I called her, she was always so happy to hear my voice.. Recently, in Nov2001, I gave her a call & asked if she wanna meet up, At last she agreed & we met. She is still as sweet as before, & I can feel that I still have the feeling for her. From that day on-wards, I met her on an average of once a week, But she seldom smile like what she was before. I treat her well enough that if it were to be on other girls, it would have been clear that I am wooing her.. even her god-sister can see it.. But think she only treat me as her "DIDI", which she always call me that.. But I don't want to be her brother.. I held her hands when we been to places where she has difficulties walking.. The feeling of holding her hands is like never before. when I carry her on my back, I feel myself on cloud nine.
So many guys is after her, I might not have the chance at all.. I talked to her before about this guy who is also going after her, & she told me that this guy treat her well but will not developed into a relationship.. She also told me that she still loves her ex & no one can be like that guy.
I am afraid that if I tell her that I love her, she might avoid me.. that is something that I don't want it to happen.
I really don't know what to do, whenever I asked her out, she will say she wants to stay at home, she got appointments, she wants to sleep.. I couldn't stand these kind of excuses.. -
how i wish i will meet some guy like u...dun worry.. i am sure she will get ur hint one day.. dun be afraid to tell her.. rather tell now then to regret in future..right?
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Sighz! Maybe Love Jus Sucks at all time!
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I can't tell her straight, I don't have the confidence in telling her that. & I know that after telling her that I love her, she will no longer treat me the way she treat me now.. She sometimes treat me really good, somehow like someone close to her. When I cough, she restrict me from smoking, when I sick, she will show her concern.. When some guys who is wooing her asked her out or call her, she will say it's one of her friend, she seems to be hiding things that she know I don't like from me.
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Think that a girl has a lot of secrets that they dun wan guys to noe, like who call them or sth else.
Well, I think confidence is the most important when wooing someone, esp for guys. U need to be able to converse wif the girl, and joke wif her, possibly, in a normal, relax way lor. Feel too tense rite, will make things worse.
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Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration"
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The Eagle
He clasps the crag with hooked hands:
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
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But I think the most difficult part in this is to understand wat the girl is thinking and feeling. This is the hardest part.
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Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration"
************************************
The Eagle
He clasps the crag with hooked hands:
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
************************************ -
Ok, let's start. She doesn't have any romantic interest in you. She treats you more like a brother then a partner. You're killing yourself because of things she did not do and you want to tell her you love her.Originally posted by BiZZy:I was wooing her for so long & the guy just got her so easily.. I was really sad to see that.. but I did not give up. Until somewhat later, I felt that I was not good enough for her & decide to backoff..
During that period when I called her, she was always so happy to hear my voice.. Recently, in Nov2001, I gave her a call & asked if she wanna meet up, At last she agreed & we met. She is still as sweet as before, & I can feel that I still have the feeling for her. From that day on-wards, I met her on an average of once a week, But she seldom smile like what she was before.
But think she only treat me as her "DIDI", which she always call me that.. But I don't want to be her brother.. I held her hands when we been to places where she has difficulties walking.. The feeling of holding her hands is like never before. when I carry her on my back, I feel myself on cloud nine.
She also told me that she still loves her ex & no one can be like that guy.
I am afraid that if I tell her that I love her, she might avoid me.. that is something that I don't want it to happen.
I really don't know what to do, whenever I asked her out, she will say she wants to stay at home, she got appointments, she wants to sleep.. I couldn't stand these kind of excuses..
She still remembers her ex-bf. Now, can you let the effect of what you said sink in? You've said all the things above, I summarised.
Now, whatever you do. I think I love you is the last thing you should ever say. It's going to be kaput before you say "i lov..".
5 years is a long time to be infatuated with someone. But her interest in you as a bf is below 50% level. Go ahead and meet some other girls and forget her. Hurts but it's up to you.
If i'm you, i'll walk out of her life for good. maybe i'll cry later but that's how it is. If you can pick it up, make sure you can put it down. -
Bizzy, if all you want is an 'I love you' from her... I can tell you, it normally don't happen that way... 5 years is a LONG TIME enough for her to fall in love with you (if she wants to...), like Klactovak mentioned CHANCE is SLIM....
Don't DECEIVE yourself... FACT is CONCRETE and HARD to swallow... You can go ahead and ask her, and perhaps RISK your friendship with her.... I've got this feeling that she wants you as her friend... But you're 'pushing' it.... If you REALLY LOVE her, just CARE for her.... It DOESN'T mean that you have to be her bf... So what IF you're her bf...? Sometimes bf can have much little value than friends...? My PERSONAL ADVICE... Settle for the BETTER.... Keep her as your friend... Can't take it? Take Klactovak's ADVICE.... Leave her FOR GOOD.... For her good... And your OWN good too... -
Ya juz have to be patient. Juz go ahead to propose, bet you be able to do it. Gals are shy, and you can try this method. You can start by wooing her and if she reject, then you stop chasing her and avoid her. She will feel uneasy and who knoes she may even propose to you... I am not kidding, a gal will feel uneasy if you been treating her well and suddenly leave like that, she will start to treasure you
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gan qing shi bu ke yi mian qiang de
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~~Evi|Ger~~
more affectionately known as...
tHe eXtrA-oRdiNaRy eCCenTriC PaRanOid BiTch wiF thE PaiZaBor aTTiTudE
(who is a Prata-natic...and a loyal supporter of Quickly and Qoo~)
A hiaK~ is a sarcastic laugh -
Haha!! Few days after I posted on this forum, there seems to be result!
Now she treat me well, she said that I am good to her & infact the only guy who treated her so well. Last time, she never called me to chat on the phone.. These few days, she called me whenever she is free at home to chat till late at night... I feel myself closer to her...
I am now flying in the sky guys!!!! -
congrats .... but do remember to take a step at a time .... you understand ???
yi bu yi bu lai ... if not you will spoil it yourself
------------------Originally posted by BiZZy:Haha!! Few days after I posted on this forum, there seems to be result!
Now she treat me well, she said that I am good to her & infact the only guy who treated her so well. Last time, she never called me to chat on the phone.. These few days, she called me whenever she is free at home to chat till late at night... I feel myself closer to her...
I am now flying in the sky guys!!!!
wish u good luck
wish u bad luck
wish u born a baby duck -
Yeah!! Thanks.. I am taking very careful steps each day... going out with her again today...
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Hehheh... Wish you ALL THE BEST..?Originally posted by BiZZy:Yeah!! Thanks.. I am taking very careful steps each day... going out with her again today...
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So how issit now? Can congrat u totally a not yet?
Good Luck!!!
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Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration"
************************************
The Eagle
He clasps the crag with hooked hands:
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
************************************ -
Not really on the good side...
Anyway there is this guy also after her, bought her a Nokia8310. He went up to her on the 10th Feb asking her to be his GF.. She rejected the guy totally, however the guy gave her a necklace worth about $400++ as a souvenier of something.
Now that I know I am rather close to her, but she is still treating me as friends. She had also just patched up with her ex-boyfriend & I suppose there isn't any chance for us to be together at this moment of time.. So I would rather draw back alittle. I asked her about the relationship between her BF, she said that they will not be together for long as there is kinda gap between them due to the different kind of status they both have.. She also told me that she would like leave the relationship as it is at the moment as she don't wanna go into another one which might affect her studies overseas. Anyway she also predicted that she will break off with her BF once the BF ORD & go overseas. From what I know from her is that there is totally no future for her with this BF. But few days back, I saw her together with her BF at MS & they seems to be in good relationsd.
So now, I am in a very confused stage where she calls me everyday to chat on the phone no matter how late it is & she doesn't seems to have any feelings for me...
We will be going out on Valentine's Day, but seems to her like just a normal outing...
(At the time of writing), I just came back from River HongBao with her & 2 friends. We went to play the "Music Dance" & she felt giddy right after that. I tried holding her hands to make sure she don't fall, but somehow she flipped it off not long after.. It happens a couple of times..
What is she thinking? Is it because she has a BF at the moment & don't wanna betray him in such a way? She only treat me as a friend & don't think there is a chance for us to progress?
She don't have any feeling for me at all would be the best answer I could find..
Last time when we just met, I took a cab with her & one of her friend to her house, I held her hands & she never let go at all.. But now, situation seems to be ever changing..
I had never really shown her anything that makes her think/realise that I am in love with her. All I showed her was care & concern which normal friends don't do, but somehow she don't get the meaning... I am treating her like a Princess & I hope she do appreciate my concern & presences.
Now that the biggest problem which I need to counter would be "communications"..
Whenever she flipped off my hands, my heart hurts & it somehow changes my mood, & I kept quiet for rather long... She is the kind of girl which needs much chatting to make sure she don't feel bored. But I am finding difficulties chatting with her sometimes with the presences of the 2 friends. 1 of them was her god-sis & the other her BF. Sometimes when they talk on their own, I would need to come out with something to chat with her, & that is a big problem because she sometimes don't really want to answer me back or gave me a reply which I am not able to carry on the conversation. She also do understand that with the 2 friends around, I would seldom talk..
I thought to myself that there is some other girls better outside awaiting for our chance to meet each other.. But I told myself that she is a good girl who I don't wanna miss. I wouldn't want any other girls which is though prettier or any better then her.. Though thinking do changes, but I am telling myself not to know any other girls from now on & to concentrate & put my heart & soul on her. I am hoping that this friendship will eventually turn into a wonderful fairytale-like relationship. She also told me that I am the nicest guy she even met. I will carry on to be nice to her, & there is this day which she will be by my side.. When there is will, there is a way... 1,2 years of waiting is worth the while.. Anyway I have known her for coming 6 years which is not short... what is 2 years....
Confused-HeartBroken Fool -
Higher you climb... harder you fall...
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( 'o' ) Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
(,) (,) =======================
(.)_(.) Beary Bear *Huggiez*...
~.~.~. For you, I care and love. -
I sorta noe how u feel man, but..well i am quite a pessimistic guy and in cases like this, i think it will be better off if both of u are just friends, very close friends even.
Sometimes, no matter how close two friends are, they can only be friends -
Just reached home when I type this messages..
I went to her God-Sis place to have a game of poker & majong, we sat really close together for about 5Hrs. I quite enjoy accompanying her while she plays although it can be quite boring..
However a call came in, somewhere in the middle of the game which I suspect that it's from her BF. I can guess from the conversation that tonight's Valentine's Day celebration will be cancelled. True enough, she is going to meet him in the afternoon, but not knowing where she is going. She has no ideas either. & our Valentine's day dinner has to be cancelled.
She told me that her BF's family do not like her at all & disapprove them to be together. That's why the guy's parents actually asked him to go out on V-day so that they will not go anywhere. This last min changes did not gave me any surprise as I have sensed that this kinda thing will happen. She asked me just now if I am angry about it, & I told her that I can't do anything if it is her decision & there is no point being angry about it. I am just feeling disappointed.
When I reached home, she did message me that if there is any last min changes, she will inform me.. Does that mean that she will try to find ways to get out of her BF's hand & go out with us??
Possibilities have been running through my mind all this while & I don't really understand how she feel about me.
From these few months of time spent with her, which is obviously ways more then the time she spent with her BF, I understand that she is the kinda ger who don't betray BF & go with other guys. Her thinking has since matured alot compared to last time.
Is it worth the while waiting for a ger who has a BF currently & is not thinking of breaking up with him unless that guy wants to?? -
hmm...seems that your situation is rather jin tui liang nan..
i mean, i can understand that u truly love this ger n wanna be wif her, can also sense that u are a nice guy..
but however, at this moment, she is still attached.. i still dun think it's gd to court her at this time.. although she claims that she will break up wif him.. i think it's best tat u 2 remain as purely gd frens wif u having no intention to court her.. or else next time if u n her bf break up, u might be accursed as the bad guy...
another question i would like to ask.. how old are u? if still v young, then i think maybe u should really let her go..perhaps if u two are really together, the r/s might still fail..*touch wood*
hmm..dun worry n be too bothered, let nature takes its course.. thats the best i think... -
I am currently in NS..
I understand her as someone who says things this way.. but might do another way..
I know she still love the guy but I dunno how much she love him..
Few days ago, she met into somethings & i rush down to her block... at that moment, then i realised that she has a soft heart & she is weak on the inside...though she looks independent & strong.
I am really heart-broken to see her being hurt & seeing her cry.. -
In VIEW of the MOMENT of LOST and SUFFERING, I have AGREED to OFFER my OWN ADVICE. BASED on what you've ADDED in your subsequent POSTS. This is but my OWN OPINION and DEDUCTION. ONCE AGAIN, I EMPHASIZE that I've NO INTEREST in making DECISIONS for you in YOUR LIFE. Enter at your OWN RISK....Originally posted by BiZZy:What is she thinking?
I am really heart-broken to see her being hurt & seeing her cry..
I thought to myself that there is some other girls better outside awaiting for our chance to meet each other.. But I told myself that she is a good girl who I don't wanna miss. I wouldn't want any other girls which is though prettier or any better then her.. Though thinking do changes, but I am telling myself not to know any other girls from now on & to concentrate & put my heart & soul on her. I am hoping that this friendship will eventually turn into a wonderful fairytale-like relationship. She also told me that I am the nicest guy she even met. I will carry on to be nice to her, & there is this day which she will be by my side.. When there is will, there is a way... 1,2 years of waiting is worth the while.. Anyway I have known her for coming 6 years which is not short... what is 2 years....
Confused-HeartBroken Fool
I had WARNED you of getting 'too close' to her. It's NOT IMPOSSIBLE, it's just UNLIKELY. You're just constantly pinning up your own hopes and watching them FALL over and over again. You're YOUNG. You're FRESH. This is a LOVE RELATIONSHIP (BGR). Get USED to it, or get OUT of it.
What she wants? What YOU want? What she think, I BET you cannot TRACE, for she should be LOST. IF not, her thoughts are PARTIAL EVIL... I'd read your POSTs. She's NOT suitable for you. You MIGHT be her 'bf' in the FUTURE to come. Stand a CHANCE. But sorry, no 'horray' for that. Most probably gonna be a MISTAKE which you shall LEARN to RECOGNISE. I know you'll find it HARD to swallow at this point. Take it or LEAVE it. It's YOUR LIFE.
YES. I AGREE with you that you're a FOOL. Even a FOOL like yourself can see through that. I won't wanna tell you how many other girls there could be out there waiting for you. So many girls who you CLAIMED not to of ANY INTEREST at all BECAUSE you're already BLINDED by LOVE. CONFINED and NARROWED thoughts. ZOOMED into this lady.
MOST women DO CRY you SILLY. And I have to agree with you that it's TRULY UNBEARABLE especially when the one you LOVE SO DEEPLY shear her tears. Yes... A woman's tear... A PURE gem to stir up your Sphere of Emotions...
I shall tell you what you ARE and what you WANT today... You're a FISH. A FISH who is HOOKED. Watching a bait swims by... Lured and waiting to be SLAUGHTERED. You want a LOVE. Getting it from this 'IDOL'. This IMAGE CLOSEST to you. Like the FOG which has already formed up, you reach out to touch it but it just wasn't there. But you SEE, so you WAIT....
"Pack up fish.... Swim in the OCEAN... For the OCEAN is VAST... Swim in another direction... Do NOT swim in the water which is musky, and try to convince yourself that you CAN see.... SUNLIGHT is EVERYWHERE.... Except this TINY piece of 'heaven'...."
Good Luck -
I think wat Devil means there is no reason for u to forgo the whole forest juz for a tree. So many other trees to choose from rite? It is hard to get into this mentality, and even harder to try to look for someone else, but it is possible.
It is up to u. Wat I think is that she stil likes her bf, and the only prob betw. them is his parents. But surely his parents wil accept her one day if they really love each other, and when they realise her gd pts rite?
Well, it is up to u. I dunno wat else to say already lor... Anyway, gd luck in watever u do.
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Thomas Edison definition of genius :
"1% inspiration, 99% perspiration"
************************************
The Eagle
He clasps the crag with hooked hands:
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.
The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;
He watches from his mountain walls,
And like a thunderbolt he falls.
************************************ -
juz trY to let it go...it maybe hard for u to accept but human are juz weaklings in their tinking and will forge up lies to keep themselves happy
keep tinking of those happy moments and forget abt the tragic memories...
search deep deep down ur heart...will u do pratically anything under the sun for her?? For now u may say yes but when it really comes to tat point of time where u have to make the deciSion u may Not say yes.
Life is unfAIr.Juz live on wif iT.
btw,i muz commeNt u on not beIng angry wif those opinions lor...there is another thread where when we give our opinions...tat guy
scolded/flamed us
juz my 2 cents worth.sorRy if i saiD anything hurtful =) -
I will not blame anyone even if you were to say the most terrible things about me regarding my situation with this ger..
I just wanna hear from your guys & know how you feel about this.
I am really glad to have all this answers & I will keep it as a reference for me & as something that I learn in my life.
I still Love her, I still want her in my life. I am all out for her. I hope everything will remain as normal. Things have been going on on the positive side.. However, I can sense that something bad will be coming rather soon... Hope that does not happen.... Normally when we get closer 1 step, the next moment will be a fall straight down.. & I have to climb again.. Now that I have climbed so high up, the fall will definately be terrible & heart-breaking.
Let's pray that this don't happen even again in my life!!!!