how to ask ex bf to patch back.....
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I didnt say its impossible.. but could be tough for most peopleOriginally posted by LazerLordz:I beg to differ.Twice.
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I think if you ever ever want this relationship to work, you'll have to change the way you talk to him during a quarrel... I know it's hard. I myself is still trying to control my emotions, what I say, and how I say it... not easy but do you think the relationship is worth it???
You have made it known that you want a patch back. so now what you can do is tell him You are willing to try to change... ask him to meet you 1 or 2 weeks later (set a date) and you'll wait for his answer. then let him think about it. during this 2 weeks try not to bug him or pressure him. let him have time to seriously think about his options.
Be prepared for the worst. meet him two weeks later and hear his answer. but bear in mind that he have been very patient with you in the past. so if his answer is yes, you better really seriously work on changing that attitude (try counting slowly to ten, when you find yourself worked up, taking deep breaths).
That's all I can think of right now. -
thanks... everyone for giving me advices...
last nite, i had a good talk wif him... i asked him whether he still love me.. he replied he didnt have the time to think such issues... coz he everyday busy wif his army stuff.. and barely have enough sleep. deep my heart, after he said this, i knew he no longer love me...... Am I correct to say that?
I have told him once more that is it possible for us to get together HE said that if he said that it is possible or impossible, he knew i would wait... in the end, he said that if there is a chance, we will be together.. It depends on fate... i feel so sad....
i ask him that whether is it possible for us to get together in dec, he just replied that he dun know wat will happen in dec.. i feeling sad again....
he kept saying i was not the cause of the breakup, i knew he was trying not to make me feel guilty....the more he did it, the more i feel guilty
I smsed him that i will changed for a better person for his sake to make him accept me again. i will do it..
I feel he still care for me... but he is hurt by me....
my friend felt that i dun have to go to the extent to beg him to patch up.. but i was the one who broke up such relationship. He said the way i did it had lost all the woman's pride.
am i wrong to beg him??? i just feel that i have hurt this person, it is correct for me to do..... maybe i am such a shameful.... -
now he n i are friends.. he is willingly to listen to my complaints abt my things.. i dun feel he is avoiding... thank god..
he said that he can chat wif me if he free.. if he not free...he is unable to chat wif me
c the way he behaves, do u think i stand a good chance of patching up provided i change myself? -
want to ask u something.
Can u stop pushing your guy over the edge?
Everytime u meet, u asked can we be lovers, can we patch back and does he love you at all or not. I can even feel the heat from here. He got to work especially in the army where life is tough and just one wrong move can kill a person.
Cool down.. you likes to be pester everyday? True love need not be said out in words but felt through the actions of the other party.
If you say you love him then be patient a bit. What is the point of him saying that he still loves you when in his heart he does not mean it at all?
Your ex is giving you another chance so treasure it well.. if he does not why would he even borther to talk to you?
My advice for you is
1) Stop asking whether he loves you or not.
2) Do something nice for him like bake him a cake or make a nice necklace with his name on it.
3) Learn to control your temper. -
i dun know that i am pestering him. I just wan to ensure whether i have a chance to patch up. this is my first experience this, i dun know i have over do it. i did ask him whether am i pestering him but he said no.. so i thought nothing happen
ok... from today onwards, i will not ask him such matters... -
just be yourself like u were when he was jio-ing u...
i believe he fell for u las time was becos he liked ur character rite ? 
don't complain to him too much abt things though... i dun think guys like to hear too much complaints too.. try to sound more caring and understanding to him, and shower him with concern.. and lets all hope that he'll fall in love with u once over... 
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Yeah thats the way gal....Originally posted by -ohyeah-:i dun know that i am pestering him. I just wan to ensure whether i have a chance to patch up. this is my first experience this, i dun know i have over do it. i did ask him whether am i pestering him but he said no.. so i thought nothing happen
ok... from today onwards, i will not ask him such matters...
Hearing too much of those stuff is really quite irritating.. if you don't stop it , he might just ignore you some day soon....it won't do both of u any good..
And of course, if he's kind enough he won't admit that he felt that u're pestering him...
Just pray that everything goes on well....it takes 2 hands to clap.. not intenstive pestering.... if *touchwood* it doesn't work.. then move on bahz.. -
ya is better to let nature take it course bah, juz like my ex bf break up with me aso........he initiate the breakup yet he is the one calling and contact me telling me all his problems all tat loh juz like friends, he do nt noe wat he really wans juz like ur ex bf bah, muz give him some time leave him along first then he will slowly think back and may realize tat he still needs u eventually loh........bt at the meantime u can make more new friends nt juz putting hopes on him cos who noes the future no one can predict loh........expand ur circle of friends and noe more guy friends and u mightc there are much more better guys tat suits u than him bah...............
some things cannot b forced loh bt i aso can understand ur feelings cos i aso wan to patch back with my ex bf bt i dun think is the right time for me and him aso.........tats y i chose to leave him alone since he initiate first one bt yet he is the one contacting me, dunno wat guys wan actually, haiz...........
my advise is dun put any hopes if nt u might b hurt even deeper loh, treat him as a friend nw and if he call b his listening ear loh.........who noes maybe one dae u 2 will b back together again...........let it flows naturally bah...........
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maggiemee... I dun know wat is stopping u from patch up wif ur ex... if u think he is worth it and u would like to continue the happy times u n him once that u have b4, y not? When he initaited breakup, may be in fit of anger.. and now he regretted and wan u back.. think abt it since u still have feeling for him......I dun know whether patch up got any side effects... do u know?? can me tell....
As for myself, I wan him coz i initiated the breakup in fit of anger and now then i know i have hurt the person who loves me so much. I think i wan to change coz he worths it..There was many moments we were v happy being together... maybe broke up, give us some time to breathe as he is busy wif army stuff and also cant book out.. while i also busy wif my studies...
I hope once i have finished my exam that is in dec, i can be back wif him once more.... I will treasure him more if i am given a chance. And I pray that he still love me till that time and willingly to give a chance
hey, guys.. how to tell whether the person is ur Mr right or miss right??? -
oh is cos of 3rd party involved loh, i did ask my ex bf b4 whether he like her ant then he say he gt love and hate feelings towards her bt yet he tell me tat i mean something to him and someone special in his heart, i am nt his friend or enemy juz someone special, he like tat tell me one.............i feel tat is so obvious tat he wanna 2 best world loh bt in this world no one can get really wat he or she wans...........is so obvious tat he dunno wat he really wans and he dunno whom to choose so i rather b the one whom leave him since he initiate the breakup and i try to move on..........i have to admit tat i still have feelings for him loh bt no choice he cannot decide wat and whom he wans loh.........bt tat gal dun like him..........and is like i gt the love and hate feeling for him nw aso bt i try to move on cos he is nt morthy of my love anymore loh...........thinking back i am so foolish loh always stood by him when he is in need and in difficult situation i willing to stay and help him all tat............always we get quarrel i am the one giving in aso and i willing to accept his past and everything aso.............
i juz feel tat nw he is trying to contact me all tat is juz like i am juz a standby or juz a subsititute in his heart onli, i really dun have the sense of security being with him anymore liao............i very scared tat if we really patch back the problems will still occurs loh and i had been hurt deeply liao...........
bt i believe if we are meant to b together will b together again if nt then juz let it b a lesson learnt or keep the sweet memories loh.........i try nt to hate him cos nw i am still like a listening ear to him when he calls i will stilll pick up juz listen to wat he wanna say loh............ -
maggiemee so pretty no one chase meh?
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hahaha........think let nature take it course bah.........of course if i can find someone better than my ex bf i will consider bt aso need to depends on the feelings aso bah......... -
haha ok since u can advice me then u r ok liao..
try not to think about your ex so much. -
yeah anyway we have to b happy everyday, is juz the matter of whether we chose to b sad or happy onli, haha........so lets look towards the future and nt looking back into the past anymore bah,
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-ohyeah-...........juz to reply u the ques tat u ask us............
no one is perfect as long as they truely love each other in their heart is already consider Mr Right and Miss Right liao...........both willing to share and communicate with each other and share happiness, troubles and woes together will b great too.............to make a relationship works well need lots of hardwork, committment, trust and communication.............. -
Originally posted by -ohyeah-:thanks... everyone for giving me advices...
last nite, i had a good talk wif him... i asked him whether he still love me.. he replied he didnt have the time to think such issues... coz he everyday busy wif his army stuff.. and barely have enough sleep. deep my heart, after he said this, i knew he no longer love me...... Am I correct to say that?
I have told him once more that is it possible for us to get together HE said that if he said that it is possible or impossible, he knew i would wait... in the end, he said that if there is a chance, we will be together.. It depends on fate... i feel so sad.... i ask him that whether is it possible for us to get together in dec, he just replied that he dun know wat will happen in dec.. i feeling sad again....
he kept saying i was not the cause of the breakup, i knew he was trying not to make me feel guilty....the more he did it, the more i feel guilty
I smsed him that i will changed for a better person for his sake to make him accept me again. i will do it..
I feel he still care for me... but he is hurt by me....
my friend felt that i dun have to go to the extent to beg him to patch up.. but i was the one who broke up such relationship. He said the way i did it had lost all the woman's pride.
am i wrong to beg him??? i just feel that i have hurt this person, it is correct for me to do..... maybe i am such a shameful....
Cirumstances.
You are brought into a scenario where you causally issued the decree of break-up in a moment of folly... only to regret as soon as your order is given. You can never say you didn't have the time to consider about it because the minute you declare a break-up, regardless of how unintentional this declaration is, you have vividly created a huge chasm, dividing and widening the emotional distance.
Some people got closer after a break-up, but according to my experience, that is a sacrificial exchange of a temporary closeness, for some degree of damage to the relationship. Emotional intimacy is achieved through certain criteria, but definitely, a break-patch cycle is never part of it.
It is likely that you have wounded him somehow and brought him down to his knees, through the realization of how weak this relationship actually is, when he is serving his national liability. His despondent attitude is natural; he could never see himself standing on equal grounds with reality (or possible competitors) and fighting to salvage his relationship. His fatigued body and jaded emotions makes him feel so worn out.
Somehow, he would feel that even if he wants to give it another try, when similar thingy occurs, there is little he could do if you want to end the relationship.
This is belongs to an issue of understanding and empathy. He may need some time to think through things and you could also take this opportunity to reflect. There will definitely be a cool-down period; therefore decide after the heat is gone.
Cheers -
I have to say I agree with drx on this, you have already made your wishes to get back together mre than crystal clear, now the ball is in his court. it's up to him.
Let him think.
put yourself in his shoes, if you were very confused at this point in time and he kept bugging you asking to get together even after telling him you don't know yet.... will this make you more or less willing to restart the relationship?
Give him time.Originally posted by drx:want to ask u something.
Can u stop pushing your guy over the edge?
Everytime u meet, u asked can we be lovers, can we patch back and does he love you at all or not. I can even feel the heat from here. He got to work especially in the army where life is tough and just one wrong move can kill a person.
Cool down.. you likes to be pester everyday? True love need not be said out in words but felt through the actions of the other party.
If you say you love him then be patient a bit. What is the point of him saying that he still loves you when in his heart he does not mean it at all?
Your ex is giving you another chance so treasure it well.. if he does not why would he even borther to talk to you?
My advice for you is
1) Stop asking whether he loves you or not.
2) Do something nice for him like bake him a cake or make a nice necklace with his name on it.
3) Learn to control your temper. -
ppl often realised what is good for them after they lose it ..
u r not exception ...
try ur best to ask him when u feel time is ripe ... not pestering him .. this will onli make things worst ... i koe sometimes .. ppl jus get too anxious n let things go the better of them ...
ur fren said u shld not hav asked him back .. to the extend of begging him .. well its up to ur ownself .. u gave the rls up .. u made the crack ... n now u r the one trying to fix the crack ..
remember .. its u who wanted it all ..
if u feel the guy is worth every effort to get back .. i would say .. ur pride will not be something to obstruct u from getting him back ...
oso reflecting back the past on hw u treat him ... he layed down his ego n pride upteem times for u ... if a man can do tat ... what worth u think is ur pride now?? this is a time when time test ur love for him .. not a matter of face n pride ...
i m rather glad that u hav admitted tat u r kinda in wrong , n willing to make some changes for him ...good luck ok .. -
now... i am kind of worried...wat if i have changed myself for better..and he still refuse to patch back...
COz he knows how is the feelings like when a couple break and patch back.. he himself has experienced this b4.
So i dun know how firm his decision will be when he c me there is a change in me. I really hope i can change his thinking.
I know army has worn him out physcially and mentally. that's y he can tolerate me anymore.
I really worried his love for me will fade away...... now i only have to let nature takes its own coz...... -
maggiemee... i feel sorry to hear ur story.. since u 2 break up coz of third party, definitely this man doesnt worth of ur crying...... u should move on..
haha.. just know how to console ppl.. me already in this pitiful state. if my breakup is because of 3rd party, i will not shallow my pride and beg him to cum back to me...
maggiemee.. it is not possible for me not to pin too much hope.. coz i feel that he is my MR rite... though sometimes i disagree wif his opinion and when he is busy, he dun care abt me. we had plan for our future, now the dream has shattered, it hurted me alot.
since i am the cause of breakup... i will do the repair until he is happy and wants me back..... -
and i hope he will appreaciate my effort of changing for his sake....
guys... the gal has hurt u and wan to amend... wat can a gal do to melt ur heart? -
hi ohyeah,
Guys in army are usually under stress and pressure. You might not be the reason for the break up but u r indirectly. I mean, u may have known his pressure in the army but have yet to stand in his shoes to really understand or feel what he has undergone.
He just need a break man.
Kana tekan in army and go home kana yelled by u, who can take it?? Right? Let him have some time to cool off. He didn't give u a definite answer whether to patch back anot cuz he doesn't want that kind of stress again. Maybe he's exhausted & irritated of this kind of relationship and his life in army. That's y he chose to escape and avoid ur QUESTIONS. I don't think he loves u no more, juz that he needs some time to balance himself.
Gal, i know now u r trying ur best to win him back.. but dun go overboard by questioning him all the time. and dun expect him to wait at his phone for ur sms and calls anymore. U change for the sake of urself not for him. Dun u think if u can curb ur temper and emotion well, u will live a happier person?
Give him some time. Surprise him with little messages and drop it in his mailbox. Let him know that u care for him....his health, his family and life. All the best to u!! ANd hope u will not get back to ur old self again.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:now... i am kind of worried...wat if i have changed myself for better..and he still refuse to patch back...
COz he knows how is the feelings like when a couple break and patch back.. he himself has experienced this b4.
So i dun know how firm his decision will be when he c me there is a change in me. I really hope i can change his thinking.
I know army has worn him out physcially and mentally. that's y he can tolerate me anymore.
I really worried his love for me will fade away...... now i only have to let nature takes its own coz...... -
"wat can a gal do to melt ur heart"
1) cook for guy
2) let the guy choose what he wants to do.
like going to the see movies that he likes.
3) play comp games with him..
4) accept his friends, no nasty remarks about his friends.
5) no nagging, say once can liao, anymore is nag.
6) remember all his impt days like bd.
Actually to help u anymore,
I need to know more about him.
Can give me some data? -
Trying to find a way to amend may be means enough for some guys, but not all. Not sure if your guy can be one of them. Ultimately be sincere and understand that he might possibly be emotionally tired and scared to re-enter into the relationship.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:and i hope he will appreaciate my effort of changing for his sake....
guys... the gal has hurt u and wan to amend... wat can a gal do to melt ur heart?
Give him time and space, let him know that you're there and waiting for him. But if he doesn't appreciate, maybe it's really time to move on. If it's not meant to be, better to let it go.