how to ask ex bf to patch back.....
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Originally posted by alexkusu:oh..one more thing.. friends can become lovers, but lovers into friends? hardly ever..
I agree, ex-es continuing to be friends happens more often than you think.Originally posted by LazerLordz:I beg to differ.Twice.
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To the threadstarter,
I wish you all the best. And whatever happens, I hope it will be for your best interests. If he has really been neglecting you, you may just be better off on your own. But if he can truly make you happy, then no reason to let him go.
Take care miss.
My girlfriend was once in your position. -
to: sumone2,
u mean ur gf is once in my position?? care to tell me more.... -
I'm was in this situation once before. My ex didn't keep shouting at me though, but she kept complaining especially when we didn't meet. I has a very tight schedule and after school I just wanted to rest and relax.
My personal opinion: I chose to let go 'cos I couldn't keep up with her expectations. I didn't want to disappoint her over and over again, 'cos I found out that I was unable or unwilling to make time for her sometimes, thus my decision. I rather let the hurt happen once than make it happen over and over again. I'm not sure 'bout how your ex thinks, but this is from me. -
to: kiekie
u r rite.. he did said "Kana tekan in army and go home kana yelled by u" after few days after we broke up.. i dun know his pressure in the army and i have nv imgaine how pressurized army life can be.... all i know is physcially and mentally tired.. He always say he is busy.. then he said nothing else.
maybe he cant run away from army.. that;s y the relationship ended. when he busy, i just feel neglected... esp he just appointed as segeant.. so i quarrelled wif him
when he was a trainee.... i dun feel neglected at all. we had our happy times at that time. of coz occasionally, i will quarrel wif him but he wil humour me....
but now as a segeant.. he is busy... and neglected my feelings.. i dun bother to ask.. .. just quarrel wif him... I also have stress from my studies and personal stuff....... if he just say out his real feelings.. i believe things would nt be that bad... -
I've seen and heard of such scenarios many times before. Most girls can't continue the relationship with their guy because of army.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:to: kiekie
u r rite...
...
when he was a trainee.... i dun feel neglected at all. we had our happy times at that time. of coz occasionally, i will quarrel wif him but he wil humour me....
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Girls - I need your time and concern. I want you by my side.
All guys have to go NS. If you want someone who can be with you all the time, go for more matured men or ah guas(since they don't need to serve NS). -
i can stand him without meeting me for 3 weeks... but i jsut cant stand the way he neglected me... and the way he talked to me..
the way he talked to me was just like buddy..... -
This line is so darn familiar. She said that to me too. That I was beginning to speak to her like a friend. I guess it's because of the distance over time.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:i can stand him without meeting me for 3 weeks... but i jsut cant stand the way he neglected me... and the way he talked to me..
the way he talked to me was just like buddy..... -
been a segeant is no easy to task
Imagine he got an officer above him and orders him to force his man to do work.
If his man refuse to do the work or makes mistakes and he kena from his officer..
So in the end his officer not happy with him and his man refuse to listern to your bf. Stuck in between and everyday is like hell with no way out.
"the way he talked to me was just like buddy..."
I know is hard for you to accept this but as his gf sometimes you had to give and take a bit. take it slow and easy. take care of your school work which is more impt as i believe exams are near.. -
wats wrong talking to u like u r his buddy .. in fact .. being his gf .. he shld be comfortable to talk to u this way .. jus like talking to a buddy .. i mean whats wrong .. for some1 to be comfortable with .. onli then we will talk like nothing else ... mayb he jus misses some sweet talkings onli wat .. y mus u think tat he is the guy .. so he mus do the sweet talking ... y don u start the ball rolling .. n get him to sweet talk u after u sweet talk to him 1st
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Dear gal, dun get too agitated or upset by his reactions or his behaviours. I believe he choose to let u go cuz he doesn't have sufficient confidence in himself.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:to: kiekie
u r rite.. he did said "Kana tekan in army and go home kana yelled by u" after few days after we broke up.. i dun know his pressure in the army and i have nv imgaine how pressurized army life can be.... all i know is physcially and mentally tired.. He always say he is busy.. then he said nothing else.
maybe he cant run away from army.. that;s y the relationship ended. when he busy, i just feel neglected... esp he just appointed as segeant.. so i quarrelled wif him
when he was a trainee.... i dun feel neglected at all. we had our happy times at that time. of coz occasionally, i will quarrel wif him but he wil humour me....
but now as a segeant.. he is busy... and neglected my feelings.. i dun bother to ask.. .. just quarrel wif him... I also have stress from my studies and personal stuff....... if he just say out his real feelings.. i believe things would nt be that bad...
Such as
he's unable to meet up wif ur expectations when u thought that he will at least sms or call u...
he felt that he's not the type of guy u r looking for, who will shower u wif care & concern all the while and pampers u
he doesn't earn enuff $$..... going out might be a problem
he's dreadful and exhausted by this kind of lifestyle
Start all over ahead with him
Make him feel loved....i mean this time round u can try to woo him back..pls put ur pride aside if u r really into winning him back.
Try not to compare the present & the past..
Eg.. y u change already?? last time u will do tat for me de and now u dun even care le... ( Pls dun react in this way anymore. This is not going to bring ur relationship wif ur bf to any greater heights.) In simpler words is dun be too 'calculative'.
Everyone needs care and concern. I am not accusing u of not being attentive enuff to his needs, cuz in fact u do not leave much scenarios for us to understand ur situation better.
But i believe he must have being the one who's giving in most of the time and naturally u accepted the fact that it's ' li shuo dang ran'. & gradually took him for granted & I can assumed that now u r unable to adapt to his sudden outbreak or changes..cuz last time he's not lidat...
I can only say... it's up to u to salvage ur relationship.. He will not crawl back into ur arms again...cuz he's afraid of getting hurt too. Dun think u r the only one who's hurt..he too isn't a stone.
Be strong, take the initiative to convince him wif ur changes & tat u appreciate what he has done for u in the past. I believe he will appreciate u better and things will work out smoothly for both of u. Do not rush him into a decision, care for him as a friend mayb that might help to build up the chemistry too.
Take care. U can pm me if u need someone to tok to. i m most willing to lend my eyes to read and fingers to type my reply.. -
today i went to his camp and passed some honey for him. when i saw him, i felt uneasy, dun dare to talk much to him. he was kind of surprised. he kept saying " u v free?? no need to study huh?" i just kept quiet.
after aparting, he called me. he thanked me and asked me whether rebond my hair again. i quite surprised he did take note of my hair.
then he sms me, " i really appreciate ur effort. thanks. But seriously, i hope u wont do it again k. i just dun wan to u to waste more time on me."
I felt v strange.. to me,i felt i have no more chance to patch up. after that, i called him and asked him wat did he mean? he replied," i wan u to spend more time on study." i really felt v strange and asked him whether he did hint me anything. he replied that no. then i did told him that.. i would not go to his camp again. he said that u can come but.....
wat do u think? are my feelings correct? -
thats really touching man. even went personally to give him honey! I am sure he was really touched. really hope you 2 can be together again! Jia you!
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well...
most of the time guys say what they mean. no hints...
my view is he wants you not to waste your time Not studying.... I mean now is sept, exams are almost around the corner... he don't want you to neglect your studies....
my advice is try being friends with him first...
re-get to know each other... slowly show him you've changed...
but so far I think you still have chance... he should be very touched... (maybe next time some where more private? he may find it hard to face all his men and superior's teasing after that incident....Originally posted by -ohyeah-:today i went to his camp and passed some honey for him. when i saw him, i felt uneasy, dun dare to talk much to him. he was kind of surprised. he kept saying " u v free?? no need to study huh?" i just kept quiet.
after aparting, he called me. he thanked me and asked me whether rebond my hair again. i quite surprised he did take note of my hair.
then he sms me, " i really appreciate ur effort. thanks. But seriously, i hope u wont do it again k. i just dun wan to u to waste more time on me."
I felt v strange.. to me,i felt i have no more chance to patch up. after that, i called him and asked him wat did he mean? he replied," i wan u to spend more time on study." i really felt v strange and asked him whether he did hint me anything. he replied that no. then i did told him that.. i would not go to his camp again. he said that u can come but.....
wat do u think? are my feelings correct? -
To truly love someone does not mean that you had to be by his side all day and nite. Giving your love one some care and concern no matter how small it is will touch your love one heart.
To him your studies is the most impt. Thats why he rather put his love aside to help to you in your study.
True love comes in all different forms, to him is letting you have the chance to study without any love worries is the best gift from him to you.
I was in the army too I know how it feels to face the wall of the camp, wishing that I could get out to be there for my love one and be by her side. -
i sense an up and coming yunhaier male version number 1.. not saying its bad or anything =D.Originally posted by StarPuppy:
Can provide more info so that we can handle your problem?
Cheers
~+StarPuppy+~
yunhaier is afterall, someone i look up to -
to coffeeortea,
wat do u mean? wat is yunhaier???
pardon me as my chinese is damn poor -
lol .. yun is a pro in analysing aunt agony probs .. n providin good advice
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yunhaier is a person here in the forum who gives detail advice on your problem.
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yunhaier is actually a dish.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:to coffeeortea,
wat do u mean? wat is yunhaier???
pardon me as my chinese is damn poor
Cheers -
i have been feeling very miserable past few weeks. i dun know how to ask myself not to think too much. waiting is a very miserable process... and i hate it.. so much... but i dun bear to forgive him up. how long must i wait?? i turning crazy soon...one day if i cant bear it, i will go and die.. recently i have been going die.... i feel that it is just a matter of time
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sorry... it is i have been thinking going to die.
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pat pats try not to think so much..
go out and enjoy life a bit.
go out for a movie or a walk... -
oh no, dun be like that~. you just gotta be strong for yourself. distract yourself from thinking so much. go out with friends and find a good friend to chit chat on the phone. Guys prefer strong and confident girls as well. I can really understand how you feel as I went through this before. You must maintain a happy and cheerful you loh, How would he dare to approach you when you are so sad and miserable.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:sorry... it is i have been thinking going to die.
Things are so unpredictable that you cant always expect it to happen in the way you wanted. It may or may not happen. be strong! This is just part and parcels of life to be learnt. -
Feeling miserable is natural and that anyone in ur situation will be experiencing.
Choosing to end ur life is the most foolish solution and can nv be the solution to the problem u r facing right now.
Have u ever tot of how wud ur family feel when suddenly their daughter is gone? And how abt ur frens? There's alot of people around u who cares and loves u. Trust me, it maybe that u haben realised it cuz u r too eager to patch back wif ur ex-bf and cudn't think logically.
I ve commited suicide 5yrs ago and that really wakes me up. & i can tell u that I am extremely guilty towards my family especially my mother.
All the while she cares and loves me alot, even though she's naggy like most mother. And i m so selfish to end my life for a relationship. Nothing is thicker than blood... especially ur family. Thinking back, i felt really remorseful and unfilial to abandon my family.... for a guy whom might not even care if i ever really perish from this world.
If u die, yes, ur ex will feel sad and guilty.... but he will still learn to get over it. U will only etch in his mind forever... and sooner or later he will find himself a new gf... So is ending ur life for him worth it??
Try to contact ur frens more and indulge urself in more activities.
Thinking abt him all the time will not help u feel any better. Cuz he is not giving u the kind of respond that u r expecting..... Maybe u can find a better guy? Who's willing to sacrifice for u? God knows right?? Be optimistic Ohyeah.
You can do it. Be strong and do not degrade urself...take careOriginally posted by -ohyeah-:i have been feeling very miserable past few weeks. i dun know how to ask myself not to think too much. waiting is a very miserable process... and i hate it.. so much... but i dun bear to forgive him up. how long must i wait?? i turning crazy soon...one day if i cant bear it, i will go and die.. recently i have been going die.... i feel that it is just a matter of time