Different religion can't be together, even if very loving?
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My gf Christian and myself Buddhist/free thinker. If religion not involved, we love each other very much. But everytime we talk about it, it always ends up very sour, sometimes resulting in possible break-ups.
Listen to me and believe that not all Christians the same loh. She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. Whatever questions I have, she will just be patient enough to listen and answer them. If we agree, good thing. If we don't, argument again.
Now I nearly have all my questions answered except this one "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I been dealt a big blow in life and it nearly took away my life. But I am not a bad person, I do not smoke, drink, stray or do any other bad stuff. Then now the argument became so serious, that despite our love for each other, a break seems inevitable. She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it.
Sigh...she is really a very nice girl. One that is not materialistic, understanding and patient. Now because of something out of this world, I gg to lose her. Is this right?
Anybody got this problem before? How you solve? -
love transcends all bounderies.
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hmm.. i'm a christian. the bible says that we can't be yoked with unbelievers.. and yoked as in, "bound together"
and trust me. i think it sucks too. symphatise with u
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Another Romeo and Juliet, the 'objectors' being religions...
Sigh -
why do you both talk about relationships if you know you will both end up in arguments??Originally posted by Mr Normal:My gf Christian and myself Buddhist/free thinker. If religion not involved, we love each other very much. But everytime we talk about it, it always ends up very sour, sometimes resulting in possible break-ups.
Listen to me and believe that not all Christians the same loh. She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. Whatever questions I have, she will just be patient enough to listen and answer them. If we agree, good thing. If we don't, argument again.
Now I nearly have all my questions answered except this one "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I been dealt a big blow in life and it nearly took away my life. But I am not a bad person, I do not smoke, drink, stray or do any other bad stuff. Then now the argument became so serious, that despite our love for each other, a break seems inevitable. She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it.
Sigh...she is really a very nice girl. One that is not materialistic, understanding and patient. Now because of something out of this world, I gg to lose her. Is this right?
Anybody got this problem before? How you solve?
anyway, try to give in to her? and show her that you are the more mature and understanding one. -
I understand that religion is difficult...
my advice is.
when talking about religion try nt to bring feelings into the scene. like your qn on why bad things happen to good ppl? when you discuss this topic, try nt to think of yourself as a case study... try not to ask why did this happen to me when I'm nt bad. discuss it as you'll discuss about chemistry... discuss theoratically. do not get too personal. She is a christian, but it may not be that she is able to explain about every little details on this subject. if you are really open, why nt join her in church, talk to some of the leaders, (cell gp leader) and have a disscussion with them... Remember this is a Religion. it's theories require certain amount of faith. when that's abscent it's theory may sound weak. so Keep a open mind. -
Final conclusion...She loves God more than u!
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"Why do bad things happen to good people?"
Perhaps we thought by conscious delibration, things will always go a certain way?
There are so many things that are beyond our control and we want to be control. And when it's not in our favour and beyond our comphrension, we will ask 'Why?'
Bad/good, good/bad. Shit happens. -
"Why bad things happen to good people"
To help people treasure what they have.
Imagine a guy who have everything and he grows lazy and becomes fat and orders people around like slaves. Then one day something happens he lost his money then he learnt how to be humble.
Bad things happen to remind everyone that you must learn to treasure what you have. Without it no one will treasure anyone or anything cos they will believe that they will always be so lucky to have others by their side anytime they need.
FOr your religion case with your gf, sadly to say your girlfriend has made a choice, either you change your religion to suit hers or get out. Now is up to you, she has made it very clear. The decision lies with you . -
Thanks for all the advice.
Some of you put it quite truthfully. She does love GOD more than myself. It does sound sad, but you see I am not jealous or what. Even if I am the 2nd man in her life, it doesn't bother me. I mean, we do love each other, just that the topic of religion always gets between us.
I have already went to church with her, not by force or anything. I find the experience to be quite pleasant. I see a lot of people worship, but also because they have some form of problems or another. But up till now, I have no plead or favour that I want to ask. If there is, maybe to ask for my girl to return to me. But you see, without placing my faith into the regligion, she will not return to me. Situation sounds kinda complicated.
If I love her, I must put my heart into her faith. If not, then nothing. Sounds like a package deal. I thought the religion preaches love, understanding and compassion in the world, how to explain this kind of situation? -
obviously she doesn't love you enuff simple as that.
she believe the book/preist more than her love for you, give it up i guess? or you can pretend to convert if you want -
I don't really ask "why bad things happen to good people" all the time. After my past, I have cherished and worshipped life more than ever. But it turns out that I am more "free" than "faith".Originally posted by drx:"Why bad things happen to good people"
To help people treasure what they have.
Imagine a guy who have everything and he grows lazy and becomes fat and orders people around like slaves. Then one day something happens he lost his money then he learnt how to be humble.
Bad things happen to remind everyone that you must learn to treasure what you have. Without it no one will treasure anyone or anything cos they will believe that they will always be so lucky to have others by their side anytime they need.
FOr your religion case with your gf, sadly to say your girlfriend has made a choice, either you change your religion to suit hers or get out. Now is up to you, she has made it very clear. The decision lies with you .
You see, I'm usually curious about new ideas and stuff. If I happen to open a book on Quran or Buddhism, I think it may freak her out. I always keep an open mind about things and I find that sometimes Christians are not that compromising. Quite simply put, the topic of evolution will be rejected in the face without even finding out what it is. Isn't this vision kinda limited? -
Sorry, I have to disgree with you on the last part. No way I will pretend to convert. Think of it this way, you can pretend for a short while, days...weeks...even years. But eventually, it will not work out.Originally posted by hisoka:obviously she doesn't love you enuff simple as that.
she believe the book/preist more than her love for you, give it up i guess? or you can pretend to convert if you want -
Two gals that I liked before were Christians...
We didn't get together...
Enuff said... -
i dunno, but thats the PROBLEM with christians...
but buddhists are more free to have their own .....
wonder whats the rationale for christians to have couples having both same religion?
P/S. I still support Dan Brown in his Da Vinci's code!
although christians ban this, prohibit that, but always never give the rationale and breakdown of reason...they simply do not know that as the whole world progresses, there will be more intellectuals and people with independent thinking who will begin to rationalise. -
also seems like these christian gals are "brain-washed" by the church like that...
and can never compromise...like God is everything...everything good must attribute to him...blah blah....
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I don't blame them. Their Devotion to church, seems like a good sign.
Yet, its rediculous to believe that they would go that far.
Its a very sensitive issue, had a issue once with A Certain NPNT church gals.
Went for a cell group meeting, and kind of know lots of people there.
And the girls was like trying hard to talk to new guys and stuff.
Well WHen they reach me. I was quite surprise about the things they do.
They ask question like " Where ur from ? " or "how old you are "
to start the conversation. But i don sense the sincerety in them to know me.
They smsed me for a few days, and i putted a point across which i'm not interested in christianity, the sms stopped coming. Lol, come to think of it. I didn't even msg them once.
Seriously, I don't think your gal thinks she's on the "right" path, and she seriously wants you to be with her in the "right" Path. Sometimes this makes relationship hard when only one sides compromises or non. You just have to tell her truely how you feel, and ask her how she truly feels about u.
Sorry for being a little oft. -
went out with a Pakistani-Canadian Muslim girl once ....
I really liked her ... but nothing happened in the end .... community pressure was simply too much on her side ... so perhaps it wasn't about religion per se (of which i have none) .... watch the movie bend it like beckham to know what i mean ....
in anycase i know my parents will never have any problem with anyone that i bring home ... as long as it's a female of the species Homo sapiens ... i must say the greatest gift my parents have ever given me is the gift of being irreligious .... i don't subscribe to any dogma and therefore my mind is free, free to see the world as it is and to love each and every human being as a true egalitarian ... and i can rely on my own humanity to guide me through life .... -
thats why i said if you want to...Originally posted by Mr Normal:Sorry, I have to disgree with you on the last part. No way I will pretend to convert. Think of it this way, you can pretend for a short while, days...weeks...even years. But eventually, it will not work out.
and also i'm religionless(sort of) so i can say that i will just pay lip service and put my religion as such and not care about the religion.
i not christian gf b4 so dunno but i understand the main objection was that the husband must be a christian not that the husband must be a devote christian right? so jsut make the official religion christianity? -
Christians believe in couples to have the same faith, so that they can be together even after death. Not only that, if they think the same, then their path will be layed out by "higher power" and both can get through this no matter how hard the situation gets.Originally posted by nightzip:wonder whats the rationale for christians to have couples having both same religion?
also seems like these christian gals are "brain-washed" by the church like that...
and can never compromise...like God is everything...everything good must attribute to him...blah blah....
As for everything good must attribute to him, I learn that bad things also attribute to him. Christians believe that bad things are put on men for them to learn and grow, so you can say it's kinda a test. .. -
I dinoe that having a christian gf/bf can be a problem if u are not a christian until my christian fren told me her views.
She said that it's best if Christian marry christian.. or the non-christian convert to be a christian... coz she wana walk down the aisle, wana see her other half in heaven.
I cannot comment on that coz I'm not a christian. Even my buddy say if I ever have a christian bf, she will ask him to preach me. So deep in my mind, I dun think I will ever find a christian bf. I cannot accept christianity because I had bad experience before. But I dun discriminate christians. Just that I dun wana get involved with christianity. -
Perhaps being free will be difficult if we become too religious. I just cannot imagine not having the free-will to love without being judged by higher power up there.Originally posted by Fatum:in anycase i know my parents will never have any problem with anyone that i bring home ... as long as it's a female of the species Homo sapiens ... i must say the greatest gift my parents have ever given me is the gift of being irreligious .... i don't subscribe to any dogma and therefore my mind is free, free to see the world as it is and to love each and every human being as a true egalitarian ... and i can rely on my own humanity to guide me through life .... -
I don't mind leh and my parents wouldn't mind either..Somemore bf/gf nia..Not say marriage..
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What if u are planning to get married and disagree on this issue?Originally posted by stellazio:I don't mind leh and my parents wouldn't mind either..Somemore bf/gf nia..Not say marriage..
Break up? -
browniebaobao, what bad experience you have with chrisitianity before? Can share?Originally posted by browniebaobao:I dinoe that having a christian gf/bf can be a problem if u are not a christian until my christian fren told me her views.
She said that it's best if Christian marry christian.. or the non-christian convert to be a christian... coz she wana walk down the aisle, wana see her other half in heaven.
I cannot comment on that coz I'm not a christian. Even my buddy say if I ever have a christian bf, she will ask him to preach me. So deep in my mind, I dun think I will ever find a christian bf. I cannot accept christianity because I had bad experience before. But I dun discriminate christians. Just that I dun wana get involved with christianity.