Different religion can't be together, even if very loving?
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Next time den say..When it comes den i decide no use planning now..Originally posted by browniebaobao:What if u are planning to get married and disagree on this issue?
Break up?
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Ever went to a fren's church once and ended up hearing things that nobody beside me could hear and seeing things tat nobody beside me could see.. It was really a horrible sight. I felt a force, forcing me to clap along when the songs were playing. And I cried non stop in the church. My fren brought me out and asked me to leave since I was feeling so uneasy. I cried all the way from the church to Orchard. It took me a long time to recover from tat incident.Originally posted by Mr Normal:browniebaobao, what bad experience you have with chrisitianity before? Can share? -
You all should make an agreement never to debate, discuss, slander, insult, etc, each other's religion.
Excerpt from: http://www.jenchen.org.sg/vol6no3c.htm
Volume 6 no 3
The Voice of Bliss
The family is our source of strength and happiness. Yet at times a diversity of religion and faith can exist within the family circle. The spirit of Buddhism advocates a freedom of choice, tolerance and mutual respect, for what good is there if there is religious homogeneity but a stark absence of happiness and bliss in the family? The key is practising the code of family ethics, compassion and loving-kindness and even if through these, others are not persuaded to the realm of Buddhism, let it be. Happiness and bliss, after all, is what all humanity seeks.
Happy Family
Mutual respect begets harmony
How may a family whose members have different religions live together harmoniously?
One common principle that mankind all over the world abides by is the freedom of choice of religion and faith. A country may have different religions co-existing at the same time, such as Buddhism, Catholicism, Christianity or Islam. But, we have to understand that it is the condition arising from love that causes people to have families, parents and children. It is a good thing if the family is happy and blissful. However, if the family members bear different faiths, so long as each member keeps his faith to himself, refrain from slandering or debating over each otherÂ’s faith, but mutually respecting each otherÂ’s faith and character, then the family will naturally be harmonious.
Further, the younger generation ought to refrain from arguing with their elders because it is their parents who brought them up. Moreover, there is no purpose in arguing with them. We have to practise filial piety and be good so that we do them proud. Then, they will feel that their children are righteous, well behaved, and may willingly join us to learn about Buddhism. This will be ideal. Otherwise, it is not filial to constantly argue with them. When we learn and practise Buddhism, we have to exercise wisdom. With regards to differences in religions and faiths, as long as we maintain mutual respect, I believe, the family will be harmonious.
p.s my master was once an active Christian pastor before -
wow, the only thing that happened to me in a church was that i felt sleepy and slept(no idea if i was snoring though)Originally posted by browniebaobao:Ever went to a fren's church once and ended up hearing things that nobody beside me could hear and seeing things tat nobody beside me could see.. It was really a horrible sight. I felt a force, forcing me to clap along when the songs were playing. And I cried non stop in the church. My fren brought me out and asked me to leave since I was feeling so uneasy. I cried all the way from the church to Orchard. It took me a long time to recover from tat incident. -
If she insists you go to church, you may go to church because Buddha did not restrict anyone from going to church. As long as you do not take refuge in other gods or God which is against refuge vows... and know the teachings of buddhism well..
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This actually happened in church? I thought everybody there liked being touched one way or another, they said it's by GOD. Did you ever verify what actually happened again?Originally posted by browniebaobao:Ever went to a fren's church once and ended up hearing things that nobody beside me could hear and seeing things tat nobody beside me could see.. It was really a horrible sight. I felt a force, forcing me to clap along when the songs were playing. And I cried non stop in the church. My fren brought me out and asked me to leave since I was feeling so uneasy. I cried all the way from the church to Orchard. It took me a long time to recover from tat incident. -
My gf and I never slander, insult, make fun of other religion. But when she see me refusing to let go of the freedom to surrender to her religion, everything changes. I have gone to church with her several times now, needless to say, also got read bible. But how to believe without losing my freedom of thought?Originally posted by An Eternal Now:If she insists you go to church, you may go to church because Buddha did not restrict anyone from going to church. As long as you do not take refuge in other gods or God which is against refuge vows... and know the teachings of buddhism well..
The simple question of how human being began can lead to argument liao. Is one to believe in creation or evolution? If believe in evolution, that means one is not with god?? Then must love god more than own spouse than can go heaven? So, I shouldn't love my wife in future? -
My buddy told me jesus touched my heart. Coz her mum ever felt this way before and so she went to ask the priest what happened. The priest told her that Jesus knows she had a lot of suffering inside her and wanted to help her release by crying. Since then, she became a christian lor. But for me, I felt invaded. Sorry, no offence to christians. I respect ur religion and I hope u respect mine too. I know that in the studies of christianity, all other religions are evil.Originally posted by Mr Normal:This actually happened in church? I thought everybody there liked being touched one way or another, they said it's by GOD. Did you ever verify what actually happened again? -
I've sent you a private message..
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This is the first time I heard someone got touched and felt intimidated by the religion. I am not a Christian, and I do not mind being touched. But so far, with my past and my gf issue, think it touched me quite badly liao. I do not think Chrisitanity is bad 'cause they preach love, but their followers cannot love other non-believers, isn't this a little contradicting?Originally posted by browniebaobao:My buddy told me jesus touched my heart. Coz her mum ever felt this way before and so she went to ask the priest what happened. The priest told her that Jesus knows she had a lot of suffering inside her and wanted to help her release by crying. Since then, she became a christian lor. But for me, I felt invaded. Sorry, no offence to christians. I respect ur religion and I hope u respect mine too. I know that in the studies of christianity, all other religions are evil.
What can I say? Maybe "Fuo Fa Wu Bian" better... -
Guys we are going a little oft...
We shall leave it as that, religon things that happen are always complicated.
Especially for christians.
Anyway...
I understand what browniebaobao has been thorugh.
I had such a experiance, they were holding up their hands closing their eyes,
shouting and muttering all the same chanting something, yelling "thank god" and stuff like tat.
All i did was folded my arms and first thing i thought was, "Hell i'm getting out of here"
It makes me felt kind of left out when they do all those kind of things.
a little psychology at work.
This always works on... (no offence meant) gals and some people who are confused at that time. -
Then must love god more than own spouse than can go heaven? So, I shouldn't love my wife in future?
Sorry for the post...
just tempted to say...if she love God more than me, then she might as well marry God! 
No offense.
God is to be respected and learned from, not just to be loved. And the kind of love is different, its compassion, not exactly love, compassion for the human kind.
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I got one guy fren, four ex gf all Malay Muslims, he being Chinese..
One by one, they all break off with him coz they know they cant do this for long..sigh.. -
Originally posted by Mr Normal:This is the first time I heard someone got touched and felt intimidated by the religion. I am not a Christian, and I do not mind being touched. But so far, with my past and my gf issue, think it touched me quite badly liao. I do not think Chrisitanity is bad 'cause they preach love, but their followers cannot love other non-believers, isn't this a little contradicting?
What can I say? Maybe "Fuo Fa Wu Bian" better...
Juz wana share with u something.. sounds funny to me and family.. but maybe not funny at all to some christians.
My mum is working at a church but we are taoist. Last Sat there was a wedding and my bro went to help out my mum. The church pple asked my mum to bring my bro there more often, on sats etc to 'play'.. (actually referring to church activities la).
My mum conveyed the message to my bro and this is what he said, "wo3 bai4 guan1 yin1 bao3 ping2 an1 jiu3 hao3.. bu4 hui4 jia3 gao3 (will not covert to christianity) if they want me to go to church, ask them come and see my kuey4 beh3 too." The last sentence actually means asking the people to see his 'deity godfather'.
no offence... -
It all started when they started to pass around the cup of or Ribena and a tiny piece of biscuit. Then all christians kneeled down and chant etc.. I heard them say what the bisucit is his remains, the ribena is his blood or whatsoever.. and started feeling disturbed.Originally posted by Sekundes:Guys we are going a little oft...
We shall leave it as that, religon things that happen are always complicated.
Especially for christians.
Anyway...
I understand what browniebaobao has been thorugh.
I had such a experiance, they were holding up their hands closing their eyes,
shouting and muttering all the same chanting something, yelling "thank god" and stuff like tat.
All i did was folded my arms and first thing i thought was, "Hell i'm getting out of here"
It makes me felt kind of left out when they do all those kind of things.
a little psychology at work.
This always works on... (no offence meant) gals and some people who are confused at that time.
I din want to touch that, request them not to give me, and I was sitting on the bench instead of kneeling down. Then I started to cry.. after tat they were singing songs and I stood there, not particiapting.. but suddenly heard a sound (sounds like condor, chinese call 'diao1') and flapping of wings.. then I was clapping along uncontrollably, against my wishes. Then the sight was.. all the people seem to be hallucinated and losing their senses.. just like those scenes in the movies whereby walking dead corpses all heading towards one direction. I started to cry more and more jialat.
That's when my buddy and fren sensed tat something's very not right with me and led me out of the church. My fren was also crying, she felt bad that this happened. I couldn't stop crying even when I boarded a bus lor... so many people were looking at me. -
Why bother to argue and too much into the depths of things...?Originally posted by Mr Normal:My gf Christian and myself Buddhist/free thinker. If religion not involved, we love each other very much. But everytime we talk about it, it always ends up very sour, sometimes resulting in possible break-ups.
Listen to me and believe that not all Christians the same loh. She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. Whatever questions I have, she will just be patient enough to listen and answer them. If we agree, good thing. If we don't, argument again.
Now I nearly have all my questions answered except this one "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I been dealt a big blow in life and it nearly took away my life. But I am not a bad person, I do not smoke, drink, stray or do any other bad stuff. Then now the argument became so serious, that despite our love for each other, a break seems inevitable. She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it.
Sigh...she is really a very nice girl. One that is not materialistic, understanding and patient. Now because of something out of this world, I gg to lose her. Is this right?
Anybody got this problem before? How you solve?
My best friend is married with a Christian wife. Like you, he's a Buddhist himself.
Is there truly LOVE between you and her...? If there is, understand that nobody really have to give up on anything much... Just learn to respect each other and the differences in between... May it be religion or other aspects of life... It's just a matter of your and her way of handling... Just that religions often can be more sensitive issues so be more tactful on that?
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The best answer I've found so far to this question of 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' is in a book entitled "Three Philosophies of Life" by Peter Kreeft.Originally posted by Mr Normal:Now I nearly have all my questions answered except this one "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I been dealt a big blow in life and it nearly took away my life. But I am not a bad person, I do not smoke, drink, stray or do any other bad stuff. Then now the argument became so serious, that despite our love for each other, a break seems inevitable. She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898702623/theofficiapet-20/102-3439929-6001726
Part 2 of the book deals with this issue in the context of the story of Job in the Bible. Job was a good man that had all kinds of misfortunes visited upon him.
Perhaps you can find some answers there?
regards,
siginah -
You see, to some of us, faith is a serious matter and we strive to make it the core of our being. I'm very sure that there are some fundamental beliefs that YOU hold that you would not compromise. If you apply the same yardstick to us, it should not be surprising to you that we won't compromise on certain things, right?Originally posted by Mr Normal:You see, I'm usually curious about new ideas and stuff. If I happen to open a book on Quran or Buddhism, I think it may freak her out. I always keep an open mind about things and I find that sometimes Christians are not that compromising. Quite simply put, the topic of evolution will be rejected in the face without even finding out what it is. Isn't this vision kinda limited?
Limited vision is not the sole prerogative of Christians. There are many evolutionists who dismiss religion without even finding out too.
regards,
siginah -
Hey, I took the Ribena and biscuit too. Actually, it was through pure ignorance that I took it. It was raining heavily when I arrived at church with my gf. Partially drenched and in a hurry, the people at the entrance offered something. I was so touched, that they tried to comfort us 'cause of the bad weather and stuff. My gf was shocked that I took it. Then when the singing and praying ended, I drank and ate. No special effects like yours leh.Originally posted by browniebaobao:It all started when they started to pass around the cup of or Ribena and a tiny piece of biscuit. Then all christians kneeled down and chant etc.. I heard them say what the bisucit is his remains, the ribena is his blood or whatsoever.. and started feeling disturbed.
I din want to touch that, request them not to give me, and I was sitting on the bench instead of kneeling down. Then I started to cry.. after tat they were singing songs and I stood there, not particiapting.. but suddenly heard a sound (sounds like condor, chinese call 'diao1') and flapping of wings.. then I was clapping along uncontrollably, against my wishes. Then the sight was.. all the people seem to be hallucinated and losing their senses.. just like those scenes in the movies whereby walking dead corpses all heading towards one direction. I started to cry more and more jialat.
That's when my buddy and fren sensed tat something's very not right with me and led me out of the church. My fren was also crying, she felt bad that this happened. I couldn't stop crying even when I boarded a bus lor... so many people were looking at me.
Anyway, no offense to any Christians, I'm pretty much a free thinker. I mean, I got pray to 'Guan Yin' and took beef. I do not believe in restrictions by religion. Faith is supposed to guide, not set rules. If my freedom is at risk, I'll pretty much go haywire...!!! -
Thanks for your advice...although I would prefer someone with a different nicknameOriginally posted by Devil1976:Why bother to argue and too much into the depths of things...?
My best friend is married with a Christian wife. Like you, he's a Buddhist himself.
Is there truly LOVE between you and her...? If there is, understand that nobody really have to give up on anything much... Just learn to respect each other and the differences in between... May it be religion or other aspects of life... It's just a matter of your and her way of handling... Just that religions often can be more sensitive issues so be more tactful on that? (Pun intended)
I think Christians got strong and not that strong loh. We respect each other a lot. We also love each other too. It's just that faith is a personal thing and whenever she senses something wrong with me, we will start to debate about it again. It is ok at first, but as time passes, slowly taking a toll.
I illustrate a bit for you...
My case: I love her >>> then love God >>> then she loves me back
Her case: She loves God >> I love God >> then she loves me back
If 2nd stage got break, no need to talk about 3rd stage liao... -
I have already started to read a bit on the story of Job. That is the first thing I read from the bible. But haven't finish reading yet. I think cannot compare...he's a totally faithful believer, while I'm a half past 10 believer with an open mind. But nevertheless, I'll finish the book. Thanks!Originally posted by siginah:The best answer I've found so far to this question of 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' is in a book entitled "Three Philosophies of Life" by Peter Kreeft.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898702623/theofficiapet-20/102-3439929-6001726
Part 2 of the book deals with this issue in the context of the story of Job in the Bible. Job was a good man that had all kinds of misfortunes visited upon him.
Perhaps you can find some answers there?
You see, to some of us, faith is a serious matter and we strive to make it the core of our being. I'm very sure that there are some fundamental beliefs that YOU hold that you would not compromise. If you apply the same yardstick to us, it should not be surprising to you that we won't compromise on certain things, right?
Limited vision is not the sole prerogative of Christians. There are many evolutionists who dismiss religion without even finding out too.
regards,
siginah
Like I say, I do not disagree to religion or faith, as long as it makes sense. I also believe a strong faith is a good way to lead a life, but since this is pretty much a personal thing, nobody can force or hypnotise anybody to join against his/her will.
I think not all evolutionists dismiss religion, but have you heard of any creationists that believe in evolution? It seems pretty much one-sided. I'm pretty much neutral against this argument. We've heard of how many scientists cannot prove evolution and eventually joined chrisitianity, but how many of you did not hear about the others who are faithful believers who eventually gave up?
No offense to all, buddhist, christians, islam and all, everybody knows their religion is good. But don't use statistics to coax or ask people to believe, this is solely a personal decision. -
Hmm... seems like someone been so bad until he think that he didn't commit any bad things cos he didn't realise that he is doing bad things...Originally posted by Mr Normal:My gf Christian and myself Buddhist/free thinker. If religion not involved, we love each other very much. But everytime we talk about it, it always ends up very sour, sometimes resulting in possible break-ups.
Listen to me and believe that not all Christians the same loh. She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. Whatever questions I have, she will just be patient enough to listen and answer them. If we agree, good thing. If we don't, argument again.
Now I nearly have all my questions answered except this one "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I been dealt a big blow in life and it nearly took away my life. But I am not a bad person, I do not smoke, drink, stray or do any other bad stuff. Then now the argument became so serious, that despite our love for each other, a break seems inevitable. She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it.
Sigh...she is really a very nice girl. One that is not materialistic, understanding and patient. Now because of something out of this world, I gg to lose her. Is this right?
Anybody got this problem before? How you solve?
Anyway, why end up in arguements if you guys are really that loving as you say?? and she is so understanding, patient and nice?? I smell bull shiiit... -
And hey... Mr Normal... being a christian is strictly this way... Well... i do understand yr situations but do understand yr gf's too... =)Originally posted by dumbdumb!:hmm.. i'm a christian. the bible says that we can't be yoked with unbelievers.. and yoked as in, "bound together"
and trust me. i think it sucks too. symphatise with u
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I'm a christian myself and had the same problem as yours with my prev gf.
but i dun know how both of you going to deal with this problem or what will happen to both you so i can't give any straight advice just through my experience.
But just wana tell u, it's really entirely up to you to decide whether you truly believe in God and be a christian willingly and not just for the sake of relationship. Its a separate issue altogether.
Love is nt just loving one another but being yourself as well.
All the best. God bless both of you. -
Sometimes don't have to put all facts down in hard rules...Originally posted by Mr Normal:Thanks for your advice...although I would prefer someone with a different nickname (Pun intended)
I think Christians got strong and not that strong loh. We respect each other a lot. We also love each other too. It's just that faith is a personal thing and whenever she senses something wrong with me, we will start to debate about it again. It is ok at first, but as time passes, slowly taking a toll.
I illustrate a bit for you...
My case: I love her >>> then love God >>> then she loves me back
Her case: She loves God >> I love God >> then she loves me back
If 2nd stage got break, no need to talk about 3rd stage liao...
Alot of things in this world are FELT. Not SAID. You only need know YOU LOVE HER. And if she's gonna be unwilling to accept that, what can you do? Would lying to her about the fact that you love her God too make things any better for her...? Would it REALLY HELP..?
Anyway.. If you think that religion is a 'barrier' between you and her, try not to bring it up in between but instead put it on a more personal space basis..?
That's what my friend is doing now...