Different religion can't be together, even if very loving?
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Uh, aren't you contradicting yourself here? " She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. " and yet "She will not accept relationship of different religion. " ? She's forcing you passively.
IMO this is a power struggle . Either you give in or she does, depending who is more willing to sacrifice the relationship for their religion (or personal believes, in your case).
If she's willing to at least give you autonomy, then you can co-exist each practising your own religion. And you don't interfere with each other. Don't even bother trying to agree on religious issues cos fundamentally you're on different planes, but that's ok.
Otherwise if she refuses to budge and you can't give her up, then give in and convert .Originally posted by Mr Normal:She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. Whatever questions I have, she will just be patient enough to listen and answer them. If we agree, good thing. If we don't, argument again.
She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it. -
How ironic but hit the head on the nail so true.Originally posted by CannyOng:Final conclusion...She loves God more than u!
Sometimes one cannot but wonder the paradox of religion; is it to bring people together or to separate people?
I once had a Muslim gf who claimed she loved me more than her parents but insisted I convert.
For those interested to know ending:- She is now engaged to another Muslim in less than 1/2 year she knew him. And as for me, I am only left with my PC to play MMORPG and suck thumb. -
I have had problem with this before...
I will post the link to my problem here in a minute, when I can find it...
edited: Here's the link
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=142170 -
Erm...I think they will always place God first in their life...esp Christians...my bf is one and he told me that...I have nothing against that tho...Originally posted by rogue13:How ironic but hit the head on the nail so true.
Sometimes one cannot but wonder the paradox of religion; is it to bring people together or to separate people?
I once had a Muslim gf who claimed she loved me more than her parents but insisted I convert.
For those interested to know ending:- She is now engaged to another Muslim in less than 1/2 year she knew him. And as for me, I am only left with my PC to play MMORPG and suck thumb. -
I got a friend same situation like the above illustration.. So sad cuz they looked like such a great couple. Again in the end, the girl got married in less than 1/2 a year.Originally posted by Mr Normal:Thanks for your advice...although I would prefer someone with a different nickname
(Pun intended)
I think Christians got strong and not that strong loh. We respect each other a lot. We also love each other too. It's just that faith is a personal thing and whenever she senses something wrong with me, we will start to debate about it again. It is ok at first, but as time passes, slowly taking a toll.
I illustrate a bit for you...
My case: I love her >>> then love God >>> then she loves me back
Her case: She loves God >> I love God >> then she loves me back
If 2nd stage got break, no need to talk about 3rd stage liao... -
Thanks, rainee. I finished reading all the pages. Your situation is better than mine, I guess. Anyway, this is not the first time I heard about your bf's church. I've heard of other people kanna scolded too 'cause their gf/bf not Christian. Worse still, the fella a girl....kanna scolded until cry. Guess I have to thank God my gf not from there...Originally posted by rainee:I have had problem with this before...
I will post the link to my problem here in a minute, when I can find it...
edited: Here's the link http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=142170 -
Anyway, thanks everybody for the advice.
My gf and I are still together...barely. Before you misunderstand her because of her being Christian, I must say that it is not easy on her part to start a r/s with me too. But she is a strong, mature and understanding person. Although she has been advised to find someone of the same faith, people around her did not reject to us(when they know)and instead, welcome me into her world with grace.
As for why she decided to start with me, you have to ask yourself if you believe in divine intervention. She got sorta a 'sign' from God and thus we began. Now for a free-thinker at that time, I was just happy that we got together. But we started to debate and argue over some things I simply couldn't understand. Maybe I was a bit stubborn too. This isn't the first time we quarrel. The last time we argue, I was the one who received the 'sign' and went to church with her. Everything ok from there.
This time, after our argument, I kanna a 'sign' again. It seems someone is trying to mend our r/s. But I had made her cry, which I am very sorry about. Since I am a half past 10 believer and in her turf, I would have to leave it in the hands of God now and hope that everything would be fine. -
Originally posted by Mr Normal:My gf Christian and myself Buddhist/free thinker. If religion not involved, we love each other very much. But everytime we talk about it, it always ends up very sour, sometimes resulting in possible break-ups.
Listen to me and believe that not all Christians the same loh. She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. Whatever questions I have, she will just be patient enough to listen and answer them. If we agree, good thing. If we don't, argument again.
Now I nearly have all my questions answered except this one "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I been dealt a big blow in life and it nearly took away my life. But I am not a bad person, I do not smoke, drink, stray or do any other bad stuff. Then now the argument became so serious, that despite our love for each other, a break seems inevitable. She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it.
Sigh...she is really a very nice girl. One that is not materialistic, understanding and patient. Now because of something out of this world, I gg to lose her. Is this right?
Anybody got this problem before? How you solve? Religion and Love... Can they actually co-exist?
Actually, in CloUdiSm, it doesn't really matter whether the Love for God is greater than the Love for the relationship, or vice vista, because you are using different yardstick to measure. It is like saying, which is worst: possessiveness or insensitivity?
However, it is known for its possible conflicts that probably doesn't have any viable solution unless either one shift side completely. Compromising only works temporary, for such relationship is usually created by Jupiter/9th house affliction, astrologically speaking. During heavy plantary transit, which could trigger this affliction, many may find it daunting to keep the relationship alive.
Every relationship has its own tale to speak, own woe to share: likewise, such relationship is but a karmic challenge to the relationship, forge by the acceptance of Love for one another. When we ignore the religious part, what we get is like any other problems we faced in any relationship - conflicts that bend to tear the relationship apart, especially when faith in the relationship is at its weakest.
In a religion-conflict relationship (RCR), when we look at it closely, it is actually a conflict of frequency, of both mental and spiritual frequency. Nothing good or bad; just that unless steps are taken to narrow the gap, this vast opening will remain.
P.S: Difficult but possible. LDR (Long-distance Relationship) are difficult, but there are successful stories around as well. See this as a karmic challenge to your relationship and strive to negate this to your advantage.
Cheers -
Dear Mr Normal,
This question of yours brought back such painful memories for me. It's because of a situation like this that I lost a very dear friend of mine. Basically, I used to be a Christian. My dear friend was a free-thinker, & his family members were Buddhists. Hence, he grew up with a very strong Buddhist influence.
I knew him before he started dating this lady, who's now his wifey. When they started talking marriage, the wifey kept forcing Christianity on him, & even threatened to leave him if he didn't convert to her religion. Every single 1 of her friends, & even her family members were putting pressure on him. When she got to know me through him, she even put pressure on me to talk to him, because according to her, he listens more to me.
I somehow recoiled at the idea, & although I know this is a sensitive issue, I beseech Christians to Not look at this as blasphemy, but rather, someone who's just sharing her experiences (which I've always done in AA). Anyway, I kept telling her to give him time.
Things got so bad that they nearly split up, & my friend kept calling me for advice. Somehow, the wifey (then gf) didn't like it, & sought to sow discord. Eventually, she succeeded. She also managed to force him to convert to Christianity. But even when he called me to meet up after that & their marriage, she would get angry at the mention of my name. Naturally, since he's my friend (& he'll always be), I didn't wish to ruin their marriage. He went through so much to marry her...
I got outta his life. Today, they've migrated to another country. I'm Not sure how they are, but I hope they're happy. But for me, I saw a side of Christians I would rather have Not seen. Now, I'm with another religion that, in my view, is more tolerant & patient. I shall Not extol the virtues too much to avoid a clash with devoted Christians here.
In any case, this was 1 of the most painful experiences I've come across. Because I wouldn't help that girl, I lost a friend I cherished, & he obviously treasured the friendship as well, because when I told him that for his own sake, we should Not keep in touch, he shed tears & sobbed.
I suppose there's No delicate way around such things when some individuals are so adamant about their beliefs. I sincerely wish you well.
Please PM me if you need a talk.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Mr Normal:My gf Christian and myself Buddhist/free thinker. If religion not involved, we love each other very much. But everytime we talk about it, it always ends up very sour, sometimes resulting in possible break-ups.
Listen to me and believe that not all Christians the same loh. She did not force me to believe in God or go to church. Whatever questions I have, she will just be patient enough to listen and answer them. If we agree, good thing. If we don't, argument again.
Now I nearly have all my questions answered except this one "Why do bad things happen to good people?" I been dealt a big blow in life and it nearly took away my life. But I am not a bad person, I do not smoke, drink, stray or do any other bad stuff. Then now the argument became so serious, that despite our love for each other, a break seems inevitable. She will not accept relationship of different religion. She had only started because I was open-minded to it.
Sigh...she is really a very nice girl. One that is not materialistic, understanding and patient. Now because of something out of this world, I gg to lose her. Is this right?
Anybody got this problem before? How you solve? -
Thanks, FeowFeow. I've pm-ed you...Originally posted by FeowFeow:Dear Mr Normal,
This question of yours brought back such painful memories for me. It's because of a situation like this that I lost a very dear friend of mine. Basically, I used to be a Christian. My dear friend was a free-thinker, & his family members were Buddhists. Hence, he grew up with a very strong Buddhist influence.
I knew him before he started dating this lady, who's now his wifey. When they started talking marriage, the wifey kept forcing Christianity on him, & even threatened to leave him if he didn't convert to her religion. Every single 1 of her friends, & even her family members were putting pressure on him. When she got to know me through him, she even put pressure on me to talk to him, because according to her, he listens more to me.
I somehow recoiled at the idea, & although I know this is a sensitive issue, I beseech Christians to Not look at this as blasphemy, but rather, someone who's just sharing her experiences (which I've always done in AA). Anyway, I kept telling her to give him time.
Things got so bad that they nearly split up, & my friend kept calling me for advice. Somehow, the wifey (then gf) didn't like it, & sought to sow discord. Eventually, she succeeded. She also managed to force him to convert to Christianity. But even when he called me to meet up after that & their marriage, she would get angry at the mention of my name. Naturally, since he's my friend (& he'll always be), I didn't wish to ruin their marriage. He went through so much to marry her...
I got outta his life. Today, they've migrated to another country. I'm Not sure how they are, but I hope they're happy. But for me, I saw a side of Christians I would rather have Not seen. Now, I'm with another religion that, in my view, is more tolerant & patient. I shall Not extol the virtues too much to avoid a clash with devoted Christians here.
In any case, this was 1 of the most painful experiences I've come across. Because I wouldn't help that girl, I lost a friend I cherished, & he obviously treasured the friendship as well, because when I told him that for his own sake, we should Not keep in touch, he shed tears & sobbed.
I suppose there's No delicate way around such things when some individuals are so adamant about their beliefs. I sincerely wish you well.
Please PM me if you need a talk.
FeowFeow -
if uknow there will alwaysb problem when u 2 talk about this topic, then avoid it loh
as 4 ur Q on wy gd ppl get bd luck. there is many reason.
u tink u r gd, but how gd. jus pass? 60marks? 80 marks o 100marks?u tink u r gd, but how others tink. most imptly, how god tink!!! ask for doing gd deeds, i1 will surely get gd retirbution. but it may come in 3 ways. 1. immediately 2. next life 3. comes in instalment in next many many life. it applies to both gd n bad things.
but b4 gd retributions come in , bad 1s must first b clear away first. if u find after doing gd things, gd retributions dun come. dat only means u have 2do some more, n b patience. also do a self reflection, u dun think u r doing any bad things. but is dat really so? is u dun find fault in yourself, then dat is a real problem. cos no man is perfect. we will definately made some mistakes here an there everyday. it can b jus that the bad things u do r more then wat u actually do gd everyday. eg: if at end of e day wat u did is +5(gd things) -12(bad things), then of course u will end up not getting any gd retributions!!!
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yeah.. i went to this church once, and at tat tym i was wit the muslim girl, could say she was my first love.. and suddenly while at church.. a voice sprang and it kept telling me to break off the rel.. well,, i really broke off ah.. n im real sad.. till now.. but i do noe tat the girl still has smth for me ah.. so i guess its jus smth god didnt want to happen.. destiny perhaps?? so mayb its destiny we're talkin about???Originally posted by browniebaobao:My buddy told me jesus touched my heart. Coz her mum ever felt this way before and so she went to ask the priest what happened. The priest told her that Jesus knows she had a lot of suffering inside her and wanted to help her release by crying. Since then, she became a christian lor. But for me, I felt invaded. Sorry, no offence to christians. I respect ur religion and I hope u respect mine too. I know that in the studies of christianity, all other religions are evil. -
u mean ur god asked u to break up with her?Originally posted by ua_24:yeah.. i went to this church once, and at tat tym i was wit the muslim girl, could say she was my first love.. and suddenly while at church.. a voice sprang and it kept telling me to break off the rel.. well,, i really broke off ah.. n im real sad.. till now.. but i do noe tat the girl still has smth for me ah.. so i guess its jus smth god didnt want to happen.. destiny perhaps?? so mayb its destiny we're talkin about???
were u hearing things? u were actually confused whether u were doing the right thing to me with her isit? -
hmmm.. how to say.. i meant tat there was this voice in my head tat only appeared once.. and it apperaed only while i was in church.. im a chiristian.. but a backslider.. but i wanna get back in.. and my girl at tat tym was muslim, so ya.. i was confused by tat voice ah.. cuz i never heard tat kind of thing in my head b4.. yeah.Originally posted by browniebaobao:u mean ur god asked u to break up with her?
were u hearing things? u were actually confused whether u were doing the right thing to me with her isit? -
I am a Christian.Have seen, heard and been through this type of BGR. As a Christian, I would like to have an ideal Christian partner.However, this wasn't God's way of doing things.I ended falling in love with a non-believer.I faced the same difficulties as most ppl do. I prayed and asked God why was this happening.The answer is Love. Jesus even loves ppl who are non-believers. He did not hate them for their ignorance.In fact, He showered more love on them so that they could see and feel for themselves.
The problem with religion is that we do things that we think is right. Like, having a partner with the same faith walking down the ailse. If all goes well, then fine. More often than not, these ended up in bitter divorces.My point is that are we marrying the person or the faith?
To sum up, if you truly love each other, don't let religion be in the way.Man can plan but it is God that works. -
Me begs to differ.Originally posted by highway69:To sum up, if you truly love each other, don't let religion be in the way.Man can plan but it is God that works.
Do you know what happened to the Israelites (recorded in the Old Testament) when they (man) planned their marriages with non-Israelites?
God worked alright but against them.
The same thing is pointed out in the New Testament.
What christians need when falling in love is wisdom to discern and do the right thing.
Man may plan but it is indeed God that works...for or against the christian for obedience or not. -
Exactly. Love transcends religion as well.Originally posted by sweetevil:love transcends all bounderies. -
The bible mentions that? where?Originally posted by dumbdumb!:hmm.. i'm a christian. the bible says that we can't be yoked with unbelievers.. and yoked as in, "bound together"
and trust me. i think it sucks too. symphatise with u
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There's 1 thing I shall say then.
In order to be with the 1 I love, I CAN renounce Christianity. If God wants to, then He can draw me back. If He doesn't want to, I end up with the guy I love.
In a nutshell, we can argue till the cows come home. But we ought to remember, the Bible was translated from Hebrew, I think? Couldn't some words be replaced for the lack of a better word? And we all know from movies, etc, that some meanings are lost when words are replaced.
Furthermore, there've been quite a few cases whereby I've actually noted Christians quoting the Bible for THEIR OWN BENEFIT. They leave out the bigger picture, & just quote a section, a verse, whatsoever.
I'm Not condemning Christianity, but when it's a matter of 2 people, don't they have a choice? Does Christianity advocate Christians INTERFERING in their neighbours' affairs? If God feels a couple shouldn't be together, let Him do the necessary. By coercing fellow Christians to leave their non-Christian partners, you're taking away CHOICE.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by macjoe:Me begs to differ.
Do you know what happened to the Israelites (recorded in the Old Testament) when they (man) planned their marriages with non-Israelites?
God worked alright but against them.
The same thing is pointed out in the New Testament.
What christians need when falling in love is wisdom to discern and do the right thing.
Man may plan but it is indeed God that works...for or against the christian for obedience or not. -
Thats true. When people marry, do they marry for the love of each other or for religion?Originally posted by nightzip:Sorry for the post...
just tempted to say...if she love God more than me, then she might as well marry God!
No offense.
God is to be respected and learned from, not just to be loved. And the kind of love is different, its compassion, not exactly love, compassion for the human kind.
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I think you are better of playing your MMORPG. Whats the point of conversion?Originally posted by rogue13:How ironic but hit the head on the nail so true.
Sometimes one cannot but wonder the paradox of religion; is it to bring people together or to separate people?
I once had a Muslim gf who claimed she loved me more than her parents but insisted I convert.
For those interested to know ending:- She is now engaged to another Muslim in less than 1/2 year she knew him. And as for me, I am only left with my PC to play MMORPG and suck thumb. -
What church was that you visited?Originally posted by ua_24:hmmm.. how to say.. i meant tat there was this voice in my head tat only appeared once.. and it apperaed only while i was in church.. im a chiristian.. but a backslider.. but i wanna get back in.. and my girl at tat tym was muslim, so ya.. i was confused by tat voice ah.. cuz i never heard tat kind of thing in my head b4.. yeah. -
Let me ask you one simple question.Do you choose to be with the person who love or to be with the person is of the same faith? Like I said God works in a way above our understanding. Whether He approves of this it is entirely up to Him.Originally posted by macjoe:Me begs to differ.
Do you know what happened to the Israelites (recorded in the Old Testament) when they (man) planned their marriages with non-Israelites?
God worked alright but against them.
The same thing is pointed out in the New Testament.
What christians need when falling in love is wisdom to discern and do the right thing.
Man may plan but it is indeed God that works...for or against the christian for obedience or not. -
I agree with you. Who's to say what God will do? Are these people better than God Himself, such that they already know in advance what He will do?
Anyway, this shall be my last post in here, I don't like being drawn into this kinda Christian thingy. I didn't give up on Christianity, but I gave up on Christians, especially MacJoe's kind.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by highway69:Let me ask you one simple question.Do you choose to be with the person who love or to be with the person is of the same faith? Like I said God works in a way above our understanding. Whether He approves of this it is entirely up to Him. -
sorry - i don't pluck perspectives from thin air.Originally posted by highway69:Let me ask you one simple question.Do you choose to be with the person who love or to be with the person is of the same faith? Like I said God works in a way above our understanding. Whether He approves of this it is entirely up to Him.
read the bible to see what kind of marriages God approves and disapproves to get an idea whether He approves this or not.
it's that simple in understanding God on this subject.