I need abvice....
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Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do? -
hmm, it seems that the problem lies with you wife. is she really mean to you?Originally posted by tequila:Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do?
i think that you should really confront her and ask her about the guys and the people that she is mixing with.
if she really treasures the relationship that you both have, then she will understand and explain everything thoroughly to you, instead of just keeping you in the dark and pretending everythings gonna be alright.
if she is not used to married life, then she shoudl at least try and make some personal changes for herself so that at least she is trying to adapt to marriage life. instead of hanging out at the disco and clubs acting like a single loose woman, the problem should be discussed throughly with you. -
Originally posted by tequila:Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do?
Well...i think before u decide on any divorce or separation....have u tired calmly sitting down and hearing wat each one has to say? Just hearing on each other views...it is understandable that ur wife is lonely and has went out to disco which met some new people which make her reconsider about marrying...
I feel that there are some issues like your working time which might be a problem as u do know see each other much...Sit down and talk about it calmly
P.S: What is both of ur age?
Cheers
~+StarPuppy+~ -
Originally posted by StarPuppy:
I bet they r v young.... Well...i think before u decide on any divorce or separation....have u tired calmly sitting down and hearing wat each one has to say? Just hearing on each other views...it is understandable that ur wife is lonely and has went out to disco which met some new people which make her reconsider about marrying...
I feel that there are some issues like your working time which might be a problem as u do know see each other much...Sit down and talk about it calmly
P.S: What is both of ur age?
Cheers
~+StarPuppy+~ -
ReconsideringOriginally posted by tequila:Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do?
Maybe its time, you really ask her what she is missing in her life.
You can proceed with the question of what's making her these way?
I would put more on her wrong, cause she is forgoing her commitment she has made to you.
Find out the reason why, and give her a chance to explain her self.
You will know what to do when she has explained herself to you. -
Is she like this before she came to know you?
Is this her lifestyle of before?
If it comes to a point she came to know other guys to fill her up emotionally and physically...
Time for you to decide what are you gonna do about it?
Quarrel coz she refused to let go of her lifestyle?
Or something deeper coz she is getting what you cant give to her from other men?
If its the 2nd scenerio..you are better off leaving her and finding other gurs...
Who will stay faithful to her husband no matter where or how busy he is!
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Merry Meet Tequila,
I am sorry to hear about it. It seems to me you have already tried to talk to her but to no avail. Well if you want to get to the core of the issue its best you have a Tarot session with me, as that would be able to give you a clearer picture of your present situation, the recent past & what to come. From there, i will see what i can do to help you thus providing the best course of action to take inorder to resolve it as we are dealing with the issue from the core. If everything seem so bleak, it won't harm to try,why don't you let me help you, do not hesitate to contact me via PM. Divorce is not a solution or an end to your issue, If there is still Love between both of you be it more or less, if there is a chance to salvage it, i don't see why not. If you chose to end it otherwise, why get married in the 1st place. At the meantime, just don't get too worried over it, let got of all negative feelings, by wallowing in sadness with alot of negative thoughts, it will not help at all but worsened the current situation adding more negativity to it thus affecting the outcome. Take care & don't think too much.
Blessed Be,
Oceanos -
Thank you coffeeortea, always see u f**king around in the forum but i'm so touched to see ur reply. I did confronted her and she maintains as they r just friends. Occasionally she will tell me more abt them but very briefly. And u r right, everytime when quarrels r over, she will pretend everything is alright and the problems will come back again. Do u think i din give her enough freedom??Originally posted by coffeeortea:hmm, it seems that the problem lies with you wife. is she really mean to you?
i think that you should really confront her and ask her about the guys and the people that she is mixing with.
if she really treasures the relationship that you both have, then she will understand and explain everything thoroughly to you, instead of just keeping you in the dark and pretending everythings gonna be alright.
if she is not used to married life, then she shoudl at least try and make some personal changes for herself so that at least she is trying to adapt to marriage life. instead of hanging out at the disco and clubs acting like a single loose woman, the problem should be discussed throughly with you.
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erm... understand hw u fell nw.. so helpless...Originally posted by tequila:Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do?
actually when a woman no longer loves her man....no matter hw perfect u r..
she also can come up things against u...
freedom???wat does she mean by freedom??is flirting around consider freedom??
i might b wrong .. but i think ur wife hv gone stray...
stray heart r difficult to tame bk..
trust me pal...dun go head on wif her nw.. cos watever u say or do will irritates her...jus let her b... u jus sit back n see hw "ugly" she could be...
if she still gt a bit of sanity... she will come bk to u..if nt...wat is the use of hving such wife... -
Thanks cannyong and starpuppy,Originally posted by StarPuppy: Well...i think before u decide on any divorce or separation....have u tired calmly sitting down and hearing wat each one has to say? Just hearing on each other views...it is understandable that ur wife is lonely and has went out to disco which met some new people which make her reconsider about marrying...
I feel that there are some issues like your working time which might be a problem as u do know see each other much...Sit down and talk about it calmly
P.S: What is both of ur age?
Cheers
~+StarPuppy+~
We r not tat young already. I'm 30 and she's stepping to 29.
I just get into this new job hence i really want to put in my best to impress everybody as u know a guy's carrer is very important. I did tell her b4 i accept this job that i won't be able to spent much time with her if i accept the job offerred. She gave me the green light to go..
I dun mind she went out and have fun but not to the extend to come home at 5, 6am or even din come home till the next day afternoon? And telling ppl that she's not married. She did told me most guys won't want to be her friend if they knew she's married but i find that if thats the case, they r not geniunely ur friends. Although she's 29 but she always behave like a kid.
I did talked to my boss for a shorter hour but due to our business volume and manpower movement, i can't do so. I even tot of switching to another job with shorter hours but less prospect and pay... But i just can't bring myself to take it.. -
Originally posted by Sekundes:
She's someone who wants attention and afraid of loneliness... Guess she miss that as i can't company her that much. I told her to think what she wants and she told me she will think abt it. Last night she's back to her normal self, just pretend nothing happened. But i heard she told her friend on the phone that she's tied by me.. What is this??
[b] Reconsidering
Maybe its time, you really ask her what she is missing in her life.
You can proceed with the question of what's making her these way?
I would put more on her wrong, cause she is forgoing her commitment she has made to you.
Find out the reason why, and give her a chance to explain her self.
You will know what to do when she has explained herself to you.[/b] -
Ya, she's like this b4 married. She used to have a ex bf and still went out with me till dawn when we r still friends. Guess thats my retribution.. Ha....Originally posted by gur:Is she like this before she came to know you?
Is this her lifestyle of before?
If it comes to a point she came to know other guys to fill her up emotionally and physically...
Time for you to decide what are you gonna do about it?
Quarrel coz she refused to let go of her lifestyle?
Or something deeper coz she is getting what you cant give to her from other men?
If its the 2nd scenerio..you are better off leaving her and finding other gurs...
Who will stay faithful to her husband no matter where or how busy he is!
She told me she wants freedom, but till that extend?? Will u allow ur wife to do that??? My mum told me to cool down, i dun want to make her worried too.. Her parents dun seems to know what to do to her as well, she's totally spoilt by them that lead to my misery. I pack the room, clean the dog when i reached home at 11pm after work, my mum wash our clothes, cooks or buy dinner for her but she's just laze around when she come home at 7 or 8 pm. sometimes i even cook for her but i dun mind all this as i want to compensate her for the time i can't company her. She dun appreciate what my mum and i at all. -
Thank you for ur abvice Zacken99,Originally posted by zacken99:erm... understand hw u fell nw.. so helpless...
actually when a woman no longer loves her man....no matter hw perfect u r..
she also can come up things against u...
freedom???wat does she mean by freedom??is flirting around consider freedom??
i might b wrong .. but i think ur wife hv gone stray...
stray heart r difficult to tame bk..
trust me pal...dun go head on wif her nw.. cos watever u say or do will irritates her...jus let her b... u jus sit back n see hw "ugly" she could be...
if she still gt a bit of sanity... she will come bk to u..if nt...wat is the use of hving such wife...
Ya, i think she had abuse her freedom. Y she wanna tell me she's ready for a marry life when she's not ready? She's the one who actually propose to me in the first place.
Sit back and see? Do u think its worth it? I dun want to waste my time if this woman really flirt around while i was working and stay faithfully for her. I strongly believe that she will definitely regret if i leave her as not much guys in this earth can stand her temper and laziness. -
i tell u wat...this type of gals i hv had tooo many encounter liao..Originally posted by tequila:Thank you for ur abvice Zacken99,
Ya, i think she had abuse her freedom. Y she wanna tell me she's ready for a marry life when she's not ready? She's the one who actually propose to me in the first place.
Sit back and see? Do u think its worth it? I dun want to waste my time if this woman really flirt around while i was working and stay faithfully for her. I strongly believe that she will definitely regret if i leave her as not much guys in this earth can stand her temper and laziness.
at the end of the day....they will regret...let them zhi shi qi guo ba...
bro b strong ok..
5^
btw... wat is urs n her zodic sign?? -
Thanks.. i feel so much better when i read ur mail. what do u suggest me to do?Originally posted by zacken99:i tell u wat...this type of gals i hv had tooo many encounter liao..
at the end of the day....they will regret...let them zhi shi qi guo ba...
bro b strong ok..
5^
btw... wat is urs n her zodic sign??
I'm a virgo and she's a libra.. -
viro..erm....no wonder u feel so heartache....guess u r person who hate changes...n libra is always feeling imbalance...Originally posted by tequila:Thanks.. i feel so much better when i read ur mail. what do u suggest me to do?
I'm a virgo and she's a libra..
ok bro.. speak from my own exp...
1st u need to temp forget abt her.. treat her as transparent....let her feel u r getting distance....
libra ppl very fan jian 1....the more u try to give in n compromise.. they will b more stuck up...
let her b...no more Qn n confrontation wif her ok..
i think u need to de stress urself as well... go for a massage or some drinking with friends...get some life...
give urself 2 weeks...if 2 weeks later she still like dat..ok...initiate watever u r thinking...but please hor think carefully 1st...there might b no turning bk...
also use the 2 weeks to condition urself with the ideal of nt hving her in ur life anymore... -
bro, actually i'm facing the same prob as u..the diff is tt we are not married, but attached to each other...she say she dunwan commitment for now..still young and wanna enjoy life while still young, but i'm the type when i put in my heart n soul into a relationship, i'll stay commited for the rest of my life...
every man has their own insecurities, but dun let this insecurities jeopardise the relationship...i learnt this the hard way... -
Mmm...
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Try to get her back at a friendship level 1st before it drift too far apart...?Originally posted by tequila:Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do? -
U r great, zacken..Originally posted by zacken99:viro..erm....no wonder u feel so heartache....guess u r person who hate changes...n libra is always feeling imbalance...
ok bro.. speak from my own exp...
1st u need to temp forget abt her.. treat her as transparent....let her feel u r getting distance....
libra ppl very fan jian 1....the more u try to give in n compromise.. they will b more stuck up...
let her b...no more Qn n confrontation wif her ok..
i think u need to de stress urself as well... go for a massage or some drinking with friends...get some life...
give urself 2 weeks...if 2 weeks later she still like dat..ok...initiate watever u r thinking...but please hor think carefully 1st...there might b no turning bk...
also use the 2 weeks to condition urself with the ideal of nt hving her in ur life anymore...
u r right, i hate changes and who like this kind of changes?
It's very true as well tat she always take things for granted. No appreciation at all. She always tell me taht she dun not how to show concern to others which including me. " what is this?" I dun expect her to celebrate my birthday but at least go out with me to have a meal or what but she refused to go out in the first place and even show her temper when she complain y i dun own a car and we have to walk.
I think what u suggest is a gd idea. I will try.
To be truth i had mentally prepared to lose her but its going to be a heart pain for me as my flat will be confiscated by HDB. I'm longing to have my dream home... -
In fact i had treated her quite cold this few days and she had the cheek to ask me y am i like this. She dun seems to realise her mistake or actually pretend nothing had happened.Originally posted by tequila:U r great, zacken..
u r right, i hate changes and who like this kind of changes?
It's very true as well tat she always take things for granted. No appreciation at all. She always tell me taht she dun not how to show concern to others which including me. " what is this?" I dun expect her to celebrate my birthday but at least go out with me to have a meal or what but she refused to go out in the first place and even show her temper when she complain y i dun own a car and we have to walk.
I think what u suggest is a gd idea. I will try.
To be truth i had mentally prepared to lose her but its going to be a heart pain for me as my flat will be confiscated by HDB. I'm longing to have my dream home... -
how long were u 2 together before u get married?
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no kids yet ... so you should think yourself lucky .... plain and simple .... i think you got the wrong sort of wifey ....
my sympathies dude .... -
Maybe she is trying to get ur attention?
Is it possible for u to take few days leave and spend time with her? -
Ha.. just 8 months. tats time we r very much in love and when she propose to me and of course i agreed to it. I did ask me is she ready to settle down and she said she is... but now????Originally posted by drx:how long were u 2 together before u get married?