I need abvice....
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I'm really confused.. We used to be so loving but now we r in this kind of situation... Haiz...Originally posted by Fatum:no kids yet ... so you should think yourself lucky .... plain and simple .... i think you got the wrong sort of wifey ....
my sympathies dude .... -
ok..thats too much.. i really wonder y we guys can actually swollow all this when we come to gers we love...Originally posted by tequila:U r great, zacken..
u r right, i hate changes and who like this kind of changes?
It's very true as well tat she always take things for granted. No appreciation at all. She always tell me taht she dun not how to show concern to others which including me. " what is this?" I dun expect her to celebrate my birthday but at least go out with me to have a meal or what but she refused to go out in the first place and even show her temper when she complain y i dun own a car and we have to walk.
I think what u suggest is a gd idea. I will try.
To be truth i had mentally prepared to lose her but its going to be a heart pain for me as my flat will be confiscated by HDB. I'm longing to have my dream home...
bro.. i noe its sad to part with a home... we hv been wanted n trying so hard to hv...but...
if u take that as a holding reason...theb bro.. life is going to b hell in the future...
we can lose money, but we cannot lose our dignity......
too much too much.. this lady deserve a lesson.... -
never mind.. we give her 2 weeks ok...Originally posted by tequila:In fact i had treated her quite cold this few days and she had the cheek to ask me y am i like this. She dun seems to realise her mistake or actually pretend nothing had happened. -
try talking to her slowly, calmly, do not let her feel accused, do not push her to a defensive mode. if it still doesn't work try going to a marriage counselor.Originally posted by tequila:Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do? -
ThanksOriginally posted by smudgey:try talking to her slowly, calmly, do not let her feel accused, do not push her to a defensive mode. if it still doesn't work try going to a marriage counselor.
Where to find a counsellor? -
Thanks for ur advice... greatly appreciate it...Originally posted by zacken99:ok..thats too much.. i really wonder y we guys can actually swollow all this when we come to gers we love...
bro.. i noe its sad to part with a home... we hv been wanted n trying so hard to hv...but...
if u take that as a holding reason...theb bro.. life is going to b hell in the future...
we can lose money, but we cannot lose our dignity......
too much too much.. this lady deserve a lesson.... -
Merry Meet Tequila,
Seriously, if you really love her be it more or less, you should'nt be comtemplating on any so called sweet revenge, end of the day you gain nothing. By staging a cold war will never work, communication is the 1st step to salvage this relationship. If you do not want to then in the 1st place there is no point talking about it. Have you ever wondered is True Love exist in both of you in the 1st place? Or is it a hasty decision just to get married for the sake of convenience? Well probably your mentality of Marriage bond is abit off or wrong perhaps. You are only telling your side of the story which we are all listening however in Reality, it may not be what you mentioned only. Your wife probably have alot to say about it too. I am not saying you are wrong or neither am i saying she is right, every actions will lead to reactions, things don't just happen overnight. You too played your part in it to make it happen. We can only advise you, ultimately the choice & decision made is yours, we have no control over it. Whatever happen thereafter is fully dependable on you alone, you only got to answer for yourself. Only you, yourself knows what is best for you & what you want out of all these. You want a blissful marriage, or a soured one full of regrets.
Blessed Be,
Oceanos -
Originally posted by OCEANOS:
Thanks for ur advice.
[b]Merry Meet Tequila,
Seriously, if you really love her be it more or less, you should'nt be comtemplating on any so called sweet revenge, end of the day you gain nothing. By staging a cold war will never work, communication is the 1st step to salvage this relationship. If you do not want to then in the 1st place there is no point talking about it. Have you ever wondered is True Love exist in both of you in the 1st place? Or is it a hasty decision just to get married for the sake of convenience? Well probably your mentality of Marriage bond is abit off or wrong perhaps. You are only telling your side of the story which we are all listening however in Reality, it may not be what you mentioned only. Your wife probably have alot to say about it too. I am not saying you are wrong or neither am i saying she is right, every actions will lead to reactions, things don't just happen overnight. You too played your part in it to make it happen. We can only advise you, ultimately the choice & decision made is yours, we have no control over it. Whatever happen thereafter is fully dependable on you alone, you only got to answer for yourself. Only you, yourself knows what is best for you & what you want out of all these. You want a blissful marriage, or a soured one full of regrets.
Blessed Be,
Oceanos[/b]
Infact i'm confused with what i'm suppose to do.. I'm totally lost.
Yes, i know what i said might be just part of the stores, she might not agree if what i said but this is how i feel about her and what she had done to me. And i know the lead of this problem is my work that had neglect her but what can i do? -
change job?
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I'm actually looking at it but my current work have lots of prospect and they offerred the highest pay in the market for my position. I would actually want to make a name for myself b4 i change or climb higher... I think i will talk to my boss again and hopefully this time riund will hav some gd news..Originally posted by drx:change job? -
Merry Meet Tequila,Originally posted by tequila:Thanks for ur advice.
Infact i'm confused with what i'm suppose to do.. I'm totally lost.
Yes, i know what i said might be just part of the stores, she might not agree if what i said but this is how i feel about her and what she had done to me. And i know the lead of this problem is my work that had neglect her but what can i do?
You may think its because of your work but in real fact it may not be. Maybe the Love between both of you has turned cold or lost its fire. What you should do is to rekindle this Love between both of you. Changing a new job may not solve the existing problem. Anyway these will be my advice to you for now unless you want to take another step further to seek my help. I am sure i can help you if there is still Love between both of you, be it more or less. If you chose to seek Professional Psychiatric help as in Marriage Counsellor, if she is agreeable its not a bad idea too. If your issue is not due to psychology aspect of Marriage, it would'nt harm to seek any Spiritual help. I have help many over the years in situations similar to yours. Maybe you can have a look at Love Spells! Reuniting Lovers ~ Inviting Love Into Your Life Take care.
Blessed Be,
Oceanos -
Originally posted by OCEANOS:
NICE.
[b]Merry Meet Tequila,
Seriously, if you really love her be it more or less, you should'nt be comtemplating on any so called sweet revenge, end of the day you gain nothing. By staging a cold war will never work, communication is the 1st step to salvage this relationship. If you do not want to then in the 1st place there is no point talking about it. Have you ever wondered is True Love exist in both of you in the 1st place? Or is it a hasty decision just to get married for the sake of convenience? Well probably your mentality of Marriage bond is abit off or wrong perhaps. You are only telling your side of the story which we are all listening however in Reality, it may not be what you mentioned only. Your wife probably have alot to say about it too. I am not saying you are wrong or neither am i saying she is right, every actions will lead to reactions, things don't just happen overnight. You too played your part in it to make it happen. We can only advise you, ultimately the choice & decision made is yours, we have no control over it. Whatever happen thereafter is fully dependable on you alone, you only got to answer for yourself. Only you, yourself knows what is best for you & what you want out of all these. You want a blissful marriage, or a soured one full of regrets.
Blessed Be,
Oceanos[/b] -
Mmm... Maybe it's already getting kinda late...?Originally posted by Devil1976:Try to get her back at a friendship level 1st before it drift too far apart...?
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Originally posted by tequila:Please abvice me, i really need some abvice for my marriage....
Ok, i have been married for 10 months, my work require me to work on weekend and 6 day a week. My working hour is like from 11am to 10pm so it seems to be no life for me. My wife who works 5 day week, 8-5 job is always left alone hence i brought her a dog which she's been longing for it. Things goes on well until last month when she knew some guys in disco. She started to change. She stopped wearing her wedding band, took off her "married" status in friendster. The worse thing is she will meet up with them and came back at 5am or even in later hour. she will not answer my call when she's out or didn't even tell me where she's going when she went out. Last nite she went out and came back the next day at 11am. What is this?? She said i dun give her freedom and control her too much. Is there any guys will give such a freedom when your wife is telling ppl she's still single? We quarrelled a lot of times because of this. I'm really very devasted by the change she make.. I was actually thinking of divorce or separate for awhile and let her think what she wants as she told me she's not used to married life. What should i do?
I can't help but to think that she is not in a good position to get married, at least regarding the emotional aspects. She probably thinks that it is time to get married, but not exactly so in terms of maturity, mindset and everything else. This could be due to her ticking biological clock or external pressure like her parents.
The reason being very simple: a woman leading a married life the way she did during singlehood (which technically means unmarried life, not singlehood as in unattached), says alot of things. Sure, we don't go about restricting this and forbiding that, however, who in a stable state of emotional mind would go clubbing as often as one would do when one isn't married?
This alone question her grounds for marriage in the first place.
The following clues further reinforced my stand; denial of being married and its status.
Her priority ain't settled and is definitely not suitable for marriage.
*** Too bad, we can't reverse time - Since you have gotten her as your wife AND KNOWING that your marriage is creeping towards the edge of doom, trust me - if you give it enough time to mutilate, it's game over forever. You can put your continue to hang onto the job, but this decision almost guarantee a doomed marriage. Your wife already shown signs of infidelity and if this marriage means something to you, the least you could do is to prevent further hemorrhage.
But I must stress that changing a job DOESN'T GUARANTEE you that she will remain faithful to you, for Love cannot assimilate into the unwilling. But at least when you know you have did what you could, you will not look back and tell yourself why didn't you do this... do that...
P.S: Something to think about: which is more important to you?
Cheers -
I really dun know whats going to happen next.. I tried to talk to her last night but she refused to talk to me.. If she dun even want to discuss then how are we going to settle this problem??? I'm going for my reservist next week for 3 weeks... Its going to be very miserable weeks for me..
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Sharing my experience.
Nellie works for long hours too. he works from 11 - 9.30 5 days a week, but his off days are mainly on weekdays when i'm at work. haa. i'm holdin a 9-6 job.
there are times when i'd wanna complain, cos we're not gg out at all
we see each other for just an hour or 3? each day haha... and thats becos we're livin together. if we're not doin that.. i have no idea what the r/s will turn out to be like. haha
hmm.. so far things are great between us, plannin to get ROM next year. I'm gettin used to his working hours, so much it doesn make any difference on his off days.
i play my games, he play his. with breaks in between to talk and all that.
maybe cos it's not just us 2, so it never gets lonely.
my suggestion: if things are good between ur wife n ur family/u n her family, move and live under 1 roof.
at least there's company
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tequila life is very short
You had done your best so just take things one step at a time. -
Tequila .....my heart cried for you
Pls take care and keep calm .....your wf is so foolish ...you just have to learn to face the fact of life.whatever happen always look at the positive side of life ! Below is the Lyrics that help me out ? Hope it can hepl you also ? Take care ?
Send someone to love me ROBBIE WILLIAMS LYRICS
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel IÂ’m getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord IÂ’m doing all I can
To be a better man
Go easy on my conscience
Â’cause itÂ’s not my fault
I know IÂ’ve been taught
To take the blame
Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
IÂ’m in pain
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord IÂ’m doing all I can
To be a better man
Once youÂ’ve found that lover
YouÂ’re homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around
I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But love is all around
Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain
Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel IÂ’m getting old
Before my time
As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord IÂ’m doinÂ’ all I can
To be a better man -
Thanks for ur abvice shinta,Originally posted by shinta:Sharing my experience.
Nellie works for long hours too. he works from 11 - 9.30 5 days a week, but his off days are mainly on weekdays when i'm at work. haa. i'm holdin a 9-6 job.
there are times when i'd wanna complain, cos we're not gg out at all we see each other for just an hour or 3? each day haha... and thats becos we're livin together. if we're not doin that.. i have no idea what the r/s will turn out to be like. haha
hmm.. so far things are great between us, plannin to get ROM next year. I'm gettin used to his working hours, so much it doesn make any difference on his off days.
i play my games, he play his. with breaks in between to talk and all that.
maybe cos it's not just us 2, so it never gets lonely.
my suggestion: if things are good between ur wife n ur family/u n her family, move and live under 1 roof.
at least there's company
We had stay together before i start my new job.. -
Thanks cwvlchua
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i can't have frens with married status..!!
nobody want or dare to ask me out jus because i got husband..!!
nobody dare to come near me jus because i need to do my duties as wife.
Everything must report in detail. everything i do must consider carefully otherwise bad reputation...!!!
I hate to get married.
This is what she had sent to me tru email..
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My own experience with unfaithfulness (may be there's still love between me and her ??? ) Of course, relationship is always different after someone has betrayed you . while someday they will Reap what and they Sow ?Originally posted by tequila:i can't have frens with married status..!!
nobody want or dare to ask me out jus because i got husband..!!
nobody dare to come near me jus because i need to do my duties as wife.
Everything must report in detail. everything i do must consider carefully otherwise bad reputation...!!!
I hate to get married.
This is what she had sent to me tru email.. -
Originally posted by tequila:i can't have frens with married status..!!
nobody want or dare to ask me out jus because i got husband..!!
nobody dare to come near me jus because i need to do my duties as wife.
Everything must report in detail. everything i do must consider carefully otherwise bad reputation...!!!
I hate to get married.
This is what she had sent to me tru email.. Then why get married?
/me shake head.
Your marriage is creeping perliously near the edge of doom. Take care.
P.S: Very strong Uranus power at work.
Cheers -
...... what kinda mindset is that?Originally posted by tequila:i can't have frens with married status..!!
nobody want or dare to ask me out jus because i got husband..!!
nobody dare to come near me jus because i need to do my duties as wife.
Everything must report in detail. everything i do must consider carefully otherwise bad reputation...!!!
I hate to get married.
This is what she had sent to me tru email.. -
Merry Meet Yunhaier,Originally posted by Yunhaier: Then why get married?
/me shake head.
Your marriage is creeping perliously near the edge of doom. Take care.
P.S: Very strong Uranus power at work.
Cheers
So what will be your resolution for them since there is very strong influence of Uranus. Perhaps there is more than one forces at work, there is definitely an influence of Jupiter too.
Blessed Be,
Oceanos