Should I end it?
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"Anyway our rs kinda of a quasi r/s. We goes out together many times but we never hold hands. Lots of ppl thinks we are a couple but we never acknowledge ourself as a concrete bf/gf r/s(she once said she not ready for a stead). I just don't feel I'm getting any closer to her despite all efforts and frankly my passion have ran out"
Did you ask her to be your gf?
Did she ask you to be his bf?
If you have not even started something then why you need to end it?
If something really started then act as a man and face it. Breaking up is the toughest thing for anyone to do but would you rather face a moment of pain then years of regret?
"And thats why I don't want to ask her out. I'm totally lost when someone start crying in front of me. I wish theres a easier way to do this"
Be firm man you are no longer a boy anymore. Life will throw you more harder things to decided in the future. There is a few ways other than the direct way.
1) stop all contacts. change hp number, every email from her is to be ban...every photo you have with her is to be throw away.
2) ask friend to tell her.
3) sms her to break up with her.
4) call her hp and say you want to break.
5) write a letter to break up with her.
6) sent email to tell her.
The above methods are the so call "easy" methods but is still not as good as the direct method. -
in fact u already made up ur mind to let go b4 u post ur thread here. Am i right?
But there's juz something holding u back. Cuz i assumed u r the type who dunno how to express ur feelings. And u r afraid to be stuck in this kind of crying scenes. Well, i supposed every guy in ur situation will get vexed and confused when ur gf cries in front of u...creating a scene that u do not know how to settle.
Avoiding her is not the issue anymore. If u wana out, u gotto be frank & firm. I know it's hard and harsh.. it's easy for a bystander to comment... But that's the only way to relief urself.
Hurting her now is better than dragging it on... for another week..month..year.. -
Sms her.Originally posted by pete98:And thats why I don't want to ask her out. I'm totally lost when someone start crying in front of me. I wish theres a easier way to do this. -
A breakup by sms is so cruel and hurting. show no respect to the girl or this relationship. I hate it.. everybody deserve a decent breakup like adults.Originally posted by Devil1976:Sms her.
If have to choose by phone or by sms, I will choose phone, at least its talking with a human voice. not facing a handphone with no face or voice. so inhuman. my EX-bf breakup with me on sms with a lame reason, I felt its cowardice doing, trying to hide from a problem. -
i was quite shocked when i readthis... i can still remember all the sweet things you were saying about her not too long ago... if i'm not wrong, she's the indian girl right?
well men, once they've got you, they take you for granted. -
Should you end it? A resounding yes!Originally posted by pete98:I just don't know how to end a rs.
How to end it? What's the problem really? You've tried to distance yourself from her, but she may think that it's just a cold war and will keep calling you to find out what's wrong. The silent treatment is the wrong way to do it.
If you're too chicken to tell her face to face, the next time she calls, answer and tell her the following:
" I want to break up with you now! I don't like you / this relationship isn't working out / I want to see other people. I'm not joking, please don't contact me. Bye. "
Very simple, right? -
you shouldn't start at first
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I agree,... if my bf lost his feelings for me i rather he end it now then delaying the heartache!!!!
however If you are confused then I'll say figure out your feelings then make a decision...Originally posted by FeowFeow:Disagree with the sentence highlighted in Red. If he has No feelings for her anymore, it's better to end it now & protect her feelings, rather than let it drag endlessly.
Unless there're still feelings involved, why flog a dead horse? The purpose of trying to save a relationship is to save the feelings from dying out...
FeowFeow -
As he has said. He would rather escape and be a coward.Originally posted by Tier:A breakup by sms is so cruel and hurting. show no respect to the girl or this relationship. I hate it.. everybody deserve a decent breakup like adults.
If have to choose by phone or by sms, I will choose phone, at least its talking with a human voice. not facing a handphone with no face or voice. so inhuman. my EX-bf breakup with me on sms with a lame reason, I felt its cowardice doing, trying to hide from a problem. -
The question is did i got her? And shes different from the girl i thought i knew. She smokes(told me she just a causal smoker) and drink heavily(I'm against both). Despite my advice for her to cut down on smoking itself, she once smoke 2 cigarette in front me and her friend cos she knew i won't raise a scene in front of others. She even have the gall to ask me buy duty free cigarette for her when i go oversea. Maybe i spoilt her in the past by treating her too nice but she taking too much for granted.Originally posted by foxwalk:i was quite shocked when i readthis... i can still remember all the sweet things you were saying about her not too long ago... if i'm not wrong, she's the indian girl right?
well men, once they've got you, they take you for granted.
When I call her I have to be careful of offending her. She get annoy if she suspect i'm making fun of her. If I failed to remembered things she told me in the past. If she have to repeat herself. If I repeat myself on things. If I ask her have she had her meal at wrong period of time(like late afternon). I can't even joke properly becos i mght offend her. You can't imagine how stress I am when I call her nowadays. She was way more understanding in the past. I try asking her about her work and family but all I getting is short answer. I'm seriously have no reason to call her except to please her. I don't enjoy our outing together anymore becos i have to be careful not to annoy her.
Granted I have many flaws too. However my lost of love did not occurs instantly. Its everytime something happens I just lose a bit of love. Instead of growing closer I feel we are getting more distant from each other. Our views and character are too contrasting and sometime conflicting. We don't share any interest together, she more outdoor(pubbing) and I more indoor(reading). Shes more direct while i'm more reserve. Anyway I smsing her to ask her ive me some time to sort our my feelings. Hopefully I can sort it out by next week. -
since u say she is not your gf so does it matter?
totally confuse liao..
so is she your gf at all? -
sorry about that... well, women can be tough to handle...Originally posted by pete98:The question is did i got her? And shes different from the girl i thought i knew. She smokes(told me she just a causal smoker) and drink heavily(I'm against both). Despite my advice for her to cut down on smoking itself, she once smoke 2 cigarette in front me and her friend cos she knew i won't raise a scene in front of others. She even have the gall to ask me buy duty free cigarette for her when i go oversea. Maybe i spoilt her in the past by treating her too nice but she taking too much for granted.
When I call her I have to be careful of offending her. She get annoy if she suspect i'm making fun of her. If I failed to remembered things she told me in the past. If she have to repeat herself. If I repeat myself on things. If I ask her have she had her meal at wrong period of time(like late afternon). I can't even joke properly becos i mght offend her. You can't imagine how stress I am when I call her nowadays. She was way more understanding in the past. I try asking her about her work and family but all I getting is short answer. I'm seriously have no reason to call her except to please her. I don't enjoy our outing together anymore becos i have to be careful not to annoy her.
Granted I have many flaws too. However my lost of love did not occurs instantly. Its everytime something happens I just lose a bit of love. Instead of growing closer I feel we are getting more distant from each other. Our views and character are too contrasting and sometime conflicting. We don't share any interest together, she more outdoor(pubbing) and I more indoor(reading). Shes more direct while i'm more reserve. Anyway I smsing her to ask her ive me some time to sort our my feelings. Hopefully I can sort it out by next week.
take it easy! -
Recommend a book! go read it. Man are from Mars, Woman are from venus.Originally posted by foxwalk:sorry about that... well, women can be tough to handle...
take it easy!
Women are so tough to handle maybe? until you understand them. -
Most of the time when people enter a relationship, they only look at the good side of someone and ignore the bad side. This is what we call the honeymoon period. Once it is over we tends to realise that the person do have lots of bad habits. If their relationship is to last, both side must be able to accept each other bad habits and work together. If not they will blame each other and will try to force their partner to change. Once they realise that they could not change their partner, they will get angry and want to end the relationship asap.
Is up to both side to make the relationship work but if either one side tries the easy way out by trying to change the action or habits of the other. Most of the time the relationship will end as there is no short cut in relationship building.
It takes time and tender loving care to change someone, if you rush into it, it will only force the other partner to hate the change. -
Originally posted by Tier:Recommend a book! go read it. Man are from Mars, Woman are from venus.
Women are so tough to handle maybe? until you understand them.
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one moment u said tat she is ur gf..another moment u say u two not stead..haiyo...