Infidelity in the family.
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Hi everyone, I'd appreciate your opinion on this issue.
My uncle (my Dad's younger brother) recently got himself involved in an extramarital affair. This is his second affair. My aunt found out about it, and nearly got into a car accident a couple of days ago.
I'm wondering, is infidelity in my family a kind of gene that got passed down from my late grandfather to the later generations, for my 2 uncles and my Dad have been involved in such affairs before. Or is it true that a man with spare cash will start to have roving eyes? My grandfather started a family business and so my Dad and uncles are considered financially stable.
I feel sorry for the wives in my family. Can I do anything to help at all? -
Be a man Different From Your father or uncle.
Disable the bloodline and Rise your own. -
its all on the guy's attitude towards marriage n how he control his urge... dun tink its a passed down thing la... help them? unless u r able to know y they do it, or maybe u help spread family love...
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x2.Originally posted by Sekundes:Be a man Different From Your father or uncle.
Disable the bloodline and Rise your own.
Learn from the mistakes of your father and uncles. The best thing you can do is to be a faithful husband to your wife.
Where your father and uncles fell into the evils of infidelity, you can choose to not to fall into it. -
Yea, I believe in willpower. However, when it comes to relationships, my family seem to be an utter failure. My cousin ended his engagement when he found out that his fiancee cheated on him; and my sister was forced to end a 6 year relationship. I fear for my future...
Yea, maybe if my family was more close-knit, such things wouldn't happen. I must spread more family love! -
although i hate to generalise, my mum has deeply ingrained in me the impression that if guys have lots of cash on them, they will do funny things...
it is best to prevent yourself from temptations by letting your wife handle your savings. provided she is a wife capable of handling accounts... that way, you'll be assured of retirement money, and your family harmony... -
That's true... Will put that advice to good use in the future...
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if u want more extreme advice..
force yourself to take care of Aids paitent for 48 hours non stop..
then u will never ever play around again.. -
i can't touch money.. i'll spend them all!Originally posted by starblue:although i hate to generalise, my mum has deeply ingrained in me the impression that if guys have lots of cash on them, they will do funny things...
it is best to prevent yourself from temptations by letting your wife handle your savings. provided she is a wife capable of handling accounts... that way, you'll be assured of retirement money, and your family harmony...
*strolls to kino n buy more manga again* -
which manga do u see?
POT ? -
Originally posted by drx:if u want more extreme advice..
force yourself to take care of Aids paitent for 48 hours non stop..
then u will never ever play around again..
That extreme? -
Its easy to just talk but faced with it ... many just give way to their desires.. and create lots of lame excuses to indulge in these things ..
Can you really really face up to your desires and wants ??? -
That's what is troubling me, seeing my elders succumb to their desires. My uncle even said he regretted getting married and not having his 'freedom'. This is coming from someone with 3 kids... I wonder if they got 'influenced' by my grandfather, who was unfaithful to my grandmother too, from what my mum told me.Originally posted by mistyblue:Its easy to just talk but faced with it ... many just give way to their desires.. and create lots of lame excuses to indulge in these things ..
Can you really really face up to your desires and wants ??? -
yes in order to learn the painfull truth about life you must face the worst case..
if not u will never learn. -
oh spare me pls...Originally posted by ^spidee^:Hi everyone, I'd appreciate your opinion on this issue.
My uncle (my Dad's younger brother) recently got himself involved in an extramarital affair. This is his second affair. My aunt found out about it, and nearly got into a car accident a couple of days ago.
I'm wondering, is infidelity in my family a kind of gene that got passed down from my late grandfather to the later generations, for my 2 uncles and my Dad have been involved in such affairs before. Or is it true that a man with spare cash will start to have roving eyes? My grandfather started a family business and so my Dad and uncles are considered financially stable.
I feel sorry for the wives in my family. Can I do anything to help at all?
what has finding out abt his affairs got to do with her near accident? one is a lustful act and the other is a careless act. -
That is actually NOT a good advice.......Originally posted by starblue:although i hate to generalise, my mum has deeply ingrained in me the impression that if guys have lots of cash on them, they will do funny things...
it is best to prevent yourself from temptations by letting your wife handle your savings. provided she is a wife capable of handling accounts... that way, you'll be assured of retirement money, and your family harmony... -
It is possible..... very troubled and hence not focused on driving.... so meet with accident....Originally posted by Apollo_sg:oh spare me pls...
what has finding out abt his affairs got to do with her near accident? one is a lustful act and the other is a careless act.
Nothing to do with women's poor neuro-motor skills. -
This is because these men fail to see what others seeOriginally posted by ^spidee^:That's what is troubling me, seeing my elders succumb to their desires. My uncle even said he regretted getting married and not having his 'freedom'. This is coming from someone with 3 kids... I wonder if they got 'influenced' by my grandfather, who was unfaithful to my grandmother too, from what my mum told me.
They think of themselves and their freedom and what they had givne up
They did not think of the stable family life, their off spring the the joy they bring. They did not think that they have to lie and live in deceit. They did not think of the pain, hurt, shame they bring to their families. They did not think of the comfort their wives helped them secure. They did not think at all, of the good things, and appreciate the goodness their own families bring them.
All they think of is what "better and freedom" lives they have with their mistresses. Of course these men and their family pay very dearly for their mistakes. They will of couse make up excuses no matter how lame to justify for their actions.
To break this kind of cycle, takes a lot, a lot of reprogramming of the mind and thinking.
If you want, just as ppl suggest, go help aids patient. Go listen to children from such families. Or more importantly, imagine how you feel if you find out your own dad betray your family and everyone to have multiple affairs and have illegitimate kids outside whome now you have to recognise as half siblings. It takes a lot of empathy to understand the kind of rejection one feels when one's parents does such acts. Step into the shoes of the betrayed. Read the stuff these women post up on the net and feel the issues they had to go through. The unbearable pain... that sometimes drives people towards sucide.
This is what people here want you to understand so as to not follow the foot steps of your relatives -
mistyblue have explain everything in full details
thanks mistyblue -
Seriously?Originally posted by ^spidee^:Hi everyone, I'd appreciate your opinion on this issue.
My uncle (my Dad's younger brother) recently got himself involved in an extramarital affair. This is his second affair. My aunt found out about it, and nearly got into a car accident a couple of days ago.
I'm wondering, is infidelity in my family a kind of gene that got passed down from my late grandfather to the later generations, for my 2 uncles and my Dad have been involved in such affairs before. Or is it true that a man with spare cash will start to have roving eyes? My grandfather started a family business and so my Dad and uncles are considered financially stable.
I feel sorry for the wives in my family. Can I do anything to help at all?
VERY LITTLE. -
Alot of things are often not as simple and straightforward as you think...Originally posted by ^spidee^:Yea, I believe in willpower. However, when it comes to relationships, my family seem to be an utter failure. My cousin ended his engagement when he found out that his fiancee cheated on him; and my sister was forced to end a 6 year relationship. I fear for my future...
Yea, maybe if my family was more close-knit, such things wouldn't happen. I must spread more family love! -
If only human r/s are easy ...
I find now people are giving all sorts of stupid excuses to justify their own misdeeds and its become so sickening I rather live as a hermit.
BTW, you still looking for good massage Devil? U wiling to try free lance? -
She was driving and was thinking about it too much, then suffered a cramp. Doctor said she was too stressed out.Originally posted by Apollo_sg:oh spare me pls...
what has finding out abt his affairs got to do with her near accident? one is a lustful act and the other is a careless act. -
Thank you so much. From your advice and my family's problems in relationships, I believe I wouldn't stray..Originally posted by mistyblue:This is because these men fail to see what others see
They think of themselves and their freedom and what they had givne up
They did not think of the stable family life, their off spring the the joy they bring. They did not think that they have to lie and live in deceit. They did not think of the pain, hurt, shame they bring to their families. They did not think of the comfort their wives helped them secure. They did not think at all, of the good things, and appreciate the goodness their own families bring them.
All they think of is what "better and freedom" lives they have with their mistresses. Of course these men and their family pay very dearly for their mistakes. They will of couse make up excuses no matter how lame to justify for their actions.
To break this kind of cycle, takes a lot, a lot of reprogramming of the mind and thinking.
If you want, just as ppl suggest, go help aids patient. Go listen to children from such families. Or more importantly, imagine how you feel if you find out your own dad betray your family and everyone to have multiple affairs and have illegitimate kids outside whome now you have to recognise as half siblings. It takes a lot of empathy to understand the kind of rejection one feels when one's parents does such acts. Step into the shoes of the betrayed. Read the stuff these women post up on the net and feel the issues they had to go through. The unbearable pain... that sometimes drives people towards sucide.
This is what people here want you to understand so as to not follow the foot steps of your relatives
That said, I really don't want to see my uncle's family break down. I don't understand why he would repeat this mistake, but we can't interfere too much cos my mum said it's his family affairs and it's inappropriate to probe too much into it. However, my poor aunt has 3 sons and it would be really tragic if they divorce. -
Sigh, I wish things are indeed so simple and straighforward. Like in those TV dramas, where the family is so close-knit, relationships between husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, cousins, uncles, aunties, grandparents, etc are so cordial. I wonder if it's because my Dad and uncles work together, so they tend to quarrel often, that strains the family relations...Originally posted by Devil1976:Alot of things are often not as simple and straightforward as you think...