She is scared of me...
-
This girl used to be kind of close to me although not very close. I've always have feelings with her ever since we met, she's not chio nor ugly, and my friends will classified me as no-taste whenever they know I keep the feelings for her cuz she's neither chio nor 'got body'. Last time I always offer myself to help her. She appreciated it when I offered help or myself to comfort her when she's alone. I knew she was never on the same page despite my feelings for her. She treats me as buddy only...a reliable buddy and she felt comfortable whenever she's with me(that's what I guess and feel). Sometimes I act cool in front of her to hide my intentions cuz I don't want to lose this friendship. But I felt no point going on like this; she treats me as a reliable fren while I have to hide myself in the dark corner just not to be seen and save this friendship. So one day I decided to confess to her few months ago. As expected, she rejected me. I was half sad half relief as I don't need to hide anymore....but it comes with a pay; she is now scared of me. She seems like will pyshically stay a distance from me. Whenever I'm physically close to her(about 2 meters away) she will go further (more than 10 meters away). She also looks at the direction away from me. I feel sad and hurt whenever she's doing this straight to my face.
Does anyone here has any suggestion how to win the friendship back/her trust that i'm not into intention? I really helped her without any intentions...but she might missuderstood what I've done now after I confessed to her. I don't mind not having her as my gf as u can't force anyone to like u but I'm really sad as it had affected our friendship. What should I do to retain this friendship? Pls help. -
Tell her the HIGHLIGHTED.Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:This girl used to be kind of close to me although not very close. I've always have feelings with her ever since we met, she's not chio nor ugly, and my friends will classified me as no-taste whenever they know I keep the feelings for her cuz she's neither chio nor 'got body'. Last time I always offer myself to help her. She appreciated it when I offered help or myself to comfort her when she's alone. I knew she was never on the same page despite my feelings for her. She treats me as buddy only...a reliable buddy and she felt comfortable whenever she's with me(that's what I guess and feel). Sometimes I act cool in front of her to hide my intentions cuz I don't want to lose this friendship. But I felt no point going on like this; she treats me as a reliable fren while I have to hide myself in the dark corner just not to be seen and save this friendship. So one day I decided to confess to her few months ago. As expected, she rejected me. I was half sad half relief as I don't need to hide anymore....but it comes with a pay; she is now scared of me. She seems like will pyshically stay a distance from me. Whenever I'm physically close to her(about 2 meters away) she will go further (more than 10 meters away). She also looks at the direction away from me. I feel sad and hurt whenever she's doing this straight to my face.
Does anyone here has any suggestion how to win the friendship back/her trust that i'm not into intention? I really helped her without any intentions...but she might missuderstood what I've done now after I confessed to her. I don't mind not having her as my gf as u can't force anyone to like u but I'm really sad as it had affected our friendship. What should I do to retain this friendship? Pls help. -
Haiz...Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:This girl used to be kind of close to me although not very close. I've always have feelings with her ever since we met, she's not chio nor ugly, and my friends will classified me as no-taste whenever they know I keep the feelings for her cuz she's neither chio nor 'got body'. Last time I always offer myself to help her. She appreciated it when I offered help or myself to comfort her when she's alone. I knew she was never on the same page despite my feelings for her. She treats me as buddy only...a reliable buddy and she felt comfortable whenever she's with me(that's what I guess and feel). Sometimes I act cool in front of her to hide my intentions cuz I don't want to lose this friendship. But I felt no point going on like this; she treats me as a reliable fren while I have to hide myself in the dark corner just not to be seen and save this friendship. So one day I decided to confess to her few months ago. As expected, she rejected me. I was half sad half relief as I don't need to hide anymore....but it comes with a pay; she is now scared of me. She seems like will pyshically stay a distance from me. Whenever I'm physically close to her(about 2 meters away) she will go further (more than 10 meters away). She also looks at the direction away from me. I feel sad and hurt whenever she's doing this straight to my face.
Does anyone here has any suggestion how to win the friendship back/her trust that i'm not into intention? I really helped her without any intentions...but she might missuderstood what I've done now after I confessed to her. I don't mind not having her as my gf as u can't force anyone to like u but I'm really sad as it had affected our friendship. What should I do to retain this friendship? Pls help.
this is always the case...
Yup listen to Devil1976 and jus tell her those highlighted words.
And if she really treasures ur frenship all will be fine again.
-
i told her before that i have no intention to ask her to be in the relationship. But then that was tru' e-mail. should I tell her the higlhlighted part by devil1976 face to face?
-
What do you want to achieve?Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:i told her before that i have no intention to ask her to be in the relationship. But then that was tru' e-mail. should I tell her the higlhlighted part by devil1976 face to face? -
I think you have to talk to her face to face more sincere also bah. But you gotta judge whether is she ready to hear things from you again.Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:i told her before that i have no intention to ask her to be in the relationship. But then that was tru' e-mail. should I tell her the higlhlighted part by devil1976 face to face?
because maybe she still feel awdward about your confession to her. Try to make her feel comfortable around you again like the good friend you all used to be. Chit chat normally like before.
Or else you gotta let things cool out a while I think she will be ok already. -
you could do it face to face, or if you have mutual friends, you could try to enlist their help? just one would do, someone close to her... after she got the message, organise a group activity to start with....
-
Haha if you can get her to stay still in front of you, then sure.Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:should I tell her the higlhlighted part by devil1976 face to face?
-
I encountered the same problem.Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:This girl used to be kind of close to me although not very close. I've always have feelings with her ever since we met, she's not chio nor ugly, and my friends will classified me as no-taste whenever they know I keep the feelings for her cuz she's neither chio nor 'got body'. Last time I always offer myself to help her. She appreciated it when I offered help or myself to comfort her when she's alone. I knew she was never on the same page despite my feelings for her. She treats me as buddy only...a reliable buddy and she felt comfortable whenever she's with me(that's what I guess and feel). Sometimes I act cool in front of her to hide my intentions cuz I don't want to lose this friendship. But I felt no point going on like this; she treats me as a reliable fren while I have to hide myself in the dark corner just not to be seen and save this friendship. So one day I decided to confess to her few months ago. As expected, she rejected me. I was half sad half relief as I don't need to hide anymore....but it comes with a pay; she is now scared of me. She seems like will pyshically stay a distance from me. Whenever I'm physically close to her(about 2 meters away) she will go further (more than 10 meters away). She also looks at the direction away from me. I feel sad and hurt whenever she's doing this straight to my face.
Does anyone here has any suggestion how to win the friendship back/her trust that i'm not into intention? I really helped her without any intentions...but she might missuderstood what I've done now after I confessed to her. I don't mind not having her as my gf as u can't force anyone to like u but I'm really sad as it had affected our friendship. What should I do to retain this friendship? Pls help.
But at least we still remain as friends.
I think it is due to the fact that she is mature in her thinking.
If the gal u like still treat u like that even after u try explaining, might as well forget about it. It ain't worth it and she want to be alone, just let her be.
Love is never meant to be ordered, if u love her, just leave her alone. -
l once did confess to a gal too... she too give me the cold shoulder. Right now, l am very sure tt is she is feeling very awkward whenever she saw u r around. Tt is probably y she does not maintain eye contact wif u.
Here's wat l did, l msg her to meet up at a public place to settle it. We told each other how we feel after the confession. After tt, our friendship goes back to almost like it is b4 the confession.
Gd luck -
tease her. tell her hey i know im suave, but you dont have to keep avoiding me in the eye. [subconsciously showed that you have gotten over the matter and want her to get over it too]
-
I don't know. It will be everyone's dream to be with someone they like, but since she's not on the same page, i guess i don't dare to hope too much. Right now I just hope that we'll get back to get friendship like before I confessed to her. It really hurts me whenever I see her around but very difficult to approach her even physically as she'll stay far away from me physically.Originally posted by M©+squareWhat do you want to achieve? -
YES. IDEALLY face to face. And with ALL YOUR SINCERITY PLS?Originally posted by Tier:I think you have to talk to her face to face more sincere also bah. But you gotta judge whether is she ready to hear things from you again.
because maybe she still feel awdward about your confession to her. Try to make her feel comfortable around you again like the good friend you all used to be. Chit chat normally like before.
Or else you gotta let things cool out a while I think she will be ok already. -
Just back to the one almost like before the confession? U mean she and you didn't went into the relationship somehow? What did she tell you on how she felt?Originally posted by HunterKiller86l once did confess to a gal too... she too give me the cold shoulder. Right now, l am very sure tt is she is feeling very awkward whenever she saw u r around. Tt is probably y she does not maintain eye contact wif u.
Here's wat l did, l msg her to meet up at a public place to settle it. We told each other how we feel after the confession. After tt, our friendship goes back to almost like it is b4 the confession.
Gd luck
[/quote] -
I see...thanks. Thanks everyone. Anyone has anymore suggestions? I'll really appreciate it.Originally posted by Devil1976YES. IDEALLY face to face. And with ALL YOUR SINCERITY PLS? -
So how's the dmg control going?
-
Your story is almost identical to my during my JC days 3 years ago, there was this girl who I had the hots for 2 years, and somehow we became buddies instead, as i never dared 2 tell her how I feel about her. I confessed to her finally this year that i used to like her only for her to tell me that she never knew I was in love with her(yeah right).Originally posted by ^mR.yellow^86:This girl used to be kind of close to me although not very close. I've always have feelings with her ever since we met, she's not chio nor ugly, and my friends will classified me as no-taste whenever they know I keep the feelings for her cuz she's neither chio nor 'got body'. Last time I always offer myself to help her. She appreciated it when I offered help or myself to comfort her when she's alone. I knew she was never on the same page despite my feelings for her. She treats me as buddy only...a reliable buddy and she felt comfortable whenever she's with me(that's what I guess and feel). Sometimes I act cool in front of her to hide my intentions cuz I don't want to lose this friendship. But I felt no point going on like this; she treats me as a reliable fren while I have to hide myself in the dark corner just not to be seen and save this friendship. So one day I decided to confess to her few months ago. As expected, she rejected me. I was half sad half relief as I don't need to hide anymore....but it comes with a pay; she is now scared of me. She seems like will pyshically stay a distance from me. Whenever I'm physically close to her(about 2 meters away) she will go further (more than 10 meters away). She also looks at the direction away from me. I feel sad and hurt whenever she's doing this straight to my face.
Does anyone here has any suggestion how to win the friendship back/her trust that i'm not into intention? I really helped her without any intentions...but she might missuderstood what I've done now after I confessed to her. I don't mind not having her as my gf as u can't force anyone to like u but I'm really sad as it had affected our friendship. What should I do to retain this friendship? Pls help.
My advice to u is to just continue to extend ur hand of friendship to her. If she keep on maintaining her distance frm u, misunderstanding ur intentions, then I guess she is just not mature enough to realise that all u want now is to be friends. -
Pathetic.
-
To ^mR.yellow^86 give her sometime...she is shock by your confession and she always thought that you will a friend to her...
Let her get over the shock first .. do not contact her or sms or email her...
let her come back to u as a friend...
Do not force her...I repeat to be your friend back asap and it will drive her away. -
haiz... she is like me lah... personally, i find it hard to remain friends with guys who show that they like me more than a friend, while i only see them as friends. its for a simple reason cos i will feel like i am making use of their feelings for me whenever i rely on them. like i'm not committing anything, yet fearing i am giving false hopes. maybe your gal also the same lah...
i guess she needs time. and she needs you to show that you really can see her as just a friend, nothing more, no matter what she does (like get physically close, or always relying on your for her problems). more likely than not, she might just be afraid you will like her even more if she stayed the same as previously. show that you will not, and maybe she will understand. -
OMG this is so funny...look..and listen to me my brother...show her what you got bro and show her what you got to offer...hehe..and look at her straight in the focking eyes and tell her that you love her. since in any relationships both the guy and the girl should BOTH take responsibility..you've already showed her where the seat is..it is now up to her to take it or leave it.
women are not stupid..they know and keep tract of all the shit that you have done for her and they have different feelings piliing up everytime you do things for her..BTW...you already got that far..you got nothing to lose anyway..for example:
1) she says no: okay stay as friends or never see her again OK?
2) she says yes: yay..happy ending let's go and get a bottle of wine and get drunk and get laid.
and besides..since you told her about it already..the situation now is where none of you can return to your original positions anymore so just go for it damnit!
woman..you gotta push them..don't push them too hard..but push little by little at a time....and you know..maybe the only thing she is pissed about you is that you don't have the guts to do **** in front of her! i know at times when people like us messed up because we really like the girl and stuff and we'd be like all high about it even when we see them but at the time when you do the above bro..you gotta stay 100% focus...just like how you gotta stay 100% focus during your 1st time of sex with another woman....try to stay longer a minute after a minute when you stare at the clock and sh!t...
anyhow..go and tell her that bro! we'll all be waiting here for your good news and for her to join this thread too! hehe
stay cool, be confident but do not be arrogant
pz
dominic -
Face to face is very paiseh for the gal....i suggest send her a card to tell her that you'll respect her decision and would still like to remain friends. But the outcome is up to her, cannot force it...sometimes things aren't meant to be.Originally posted by Devil1976:YES. IDEALLY face to face. And with ALL YOUR SINCERITY PLS?
It's nice of the poster to still wanna remain friends with the gal. I was in the gal's position a long time ago and the guy treated me as invisible after that....hahaha...so small gas. -
yap, the card works.Originally posted by Wanda:Face to face is very paiseh for the gal....i suggest send her a card to tell her that you'll respect her decision and would still like to remain friends. But the outcome is up to her, cannot force it...sometimes things aren't meant to be.
It's nice of the poster to still wanna remain friends with the gal. I was in the gal's position a long time ago and the guy treated me as invisible after that....hahaha...so small gas.
it gives a personal touch yet discreet. -
Whatever i want to say is already said by Devil man.. Its good that u dun look at appearences and see thru all that. Your personality and perception of things are sharp and u are aware. So just u know.. keep it cool n tell her. No hard feelings =) Besides.. if she really dun want u as a friend.. its her loss my man..
-
ya man go for it! i apologize for all the swearing in my previous post but i was kinda drunk at the moment haha...anyways act now and act fast! find the best timing! if one doesn't come along then build the enviornment and mood yourself!Originally posted by BadzMaro:Whatever i want to say is already said by Devil man.. Its good that u dun look at appearences and see thru all that. Your personality and perception of things are sharp and u are aware. So just u know.. keep it cool n tell her. No hard feelings =) Besides.. if she really dun want u as a friend.. its her loss my man..
do remember "sleeping is the cousin of death".......also means that when you are making a sword out of metal..you need to do it when it is hot right???
so do it! man this is so exciting!
all the best!
Regards,