Involved with a married man...
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Pls help!
No no.. Is certainly not MI!!! If my guy see tis.. I'll get it from him liao..
I've tis gd friend.. Her bf is.. Well.. Ok ok lah.. Doesn treat her too well.. @ 1st he has some other gals behind her back.. Kinda flirtin ard.. But then stop le..
Jus came out from N.S.. Started workin.. Since then.. He'll always have no time.. Whole dae not even a msg from him.. Can last for few daes..
They also funny de.. Can break patch break patch..
My tis friend.. She got to noe tis guy.. Whom to her.. Is absolutely wonderful! 2 her..
But he's married!!!
They noe each other for erm.. mayb 3 mths bah..
They sorta went on dates? It first started when they meet for lunch tog.. and they kissed.. and then.. gd nite darlin..
i keep remindin her.. HE IS MARRIED WITH A KID!!! she noes.. say doesn expect anythin.. but he is so unlik her bf.. so caring, gentle. nice... etc..
I already goin lose my top liao!!
I told her everythin i could think off.. Wat retribution, u wouldn wan ur guy nx time to treat u tis way.. Tat now he's sweet.. but His wife surely will find out.. then quarell.. and then he'll tak it out on u..
The longer u got tog, the more u will expect.. then u can't date openly.. got to hide hide.. end up hurt is u.. stand to lose also the gal onli..
he isn a gd guy.. if can have affair behind his wife.. he isn a faithful guy.. etc..
i mangage to persuade her to last msg le.. she says ok ok..
but.. i asked her again.. she say meetin him for breakfast tomorrow..
haiz.. i reali dun feel lik botherin anymore.. told her reali shld last le.. then at most msg onli then stop.. but.. i don think it will end..
it isn my rite to stop her from doin wat she wants.. she says let her enjoy the care for a few more daes.. i'm fraid she will end up hurt.. and the guilt.. if it goes on.. OMG..
Any advice?
Any thing i can do to stop her?
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ask her to remember to use condy hor
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sometimes illicit love can be true love.
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Hmm…since u have tell her so much… and nothing have gone into her ear… there nothing much u can really do… as people always say “love is blind” so the only thing u can do …now is to keep remind her..or talk to her … utill something has gone inside her ear to wake her up… or if u have the telephone of that married.guy…call..him..to warn…him to stop seeing ur friend..or else..u will call his wife to let them know.. as he is a married guy he should know.. that is it not right… to betray his wife..and.. as he is a grow up man.. he should know what the consequence if he is too continue…
Next if does not..workÂ… call ur friend parent.. tell her parent..that she is being cheap by a married guyÂ… think short pain is better than long painÂ…
As she is still so youngÂ… tell her .. what the hurried to find a good guyÂ… she has not see the bad and real world yetÂ… there are so many good guy awaiting for your when ur grow olderÂ… also bad guy too..hee.. not to scare ur..but unfortunate it is real Â…a good example.. is that married guy..waiting for his preyÂ…IÂ’m a guy..i know what guy is thinkingÂ… so in real world..or working lifeÂ… dun have to hurried to tie upself up when u have not meet the right manÂ…u know ..as when u grow older.. may be about 25-26 .. ur view about guy..is very different from nowÂ… what u want now.. and what u see in a man is very different as u step into the cruel working Â…LIFEÂ…
Life is the best teacher of all..most of the time,life does not talk to u..it just sort of pushes you around.. each push is life saying, wake up.. there something I want you to learnÂ…if you learn lifeÂ’s lesson, you will do well,lf not,life will continue to push you aroundÂ… haha.. out of the topicÂ…
OkÂ…backÂ… seem u have tell her all the bad things ..and she still canÂ’t wake upÂ…then the best is to tell her to protect herselfÂ…tell her to confront that guy..which he want to chose..her or his wife???Â…ask ur friend to hint the married guy wife if she want to continue the relationship with that married guyÂ…
and ..but no ..no kissing..no huggingÂ… and dun forget not to give in to the guy what ever trip that guy playÂ…
same old pattern guy usually do Â… example suddenly treat her ..become..colderÂ…not calling her for weeksÂ…if ur friend call him backÂ…hahaha.. he know he winÂ…then he will ask for moreÂ…that lead to Â…dangerous fireÂ…
and the bf of her which flirt around and dun treasure ur friendÂ… can tell her to break off with himÂ… cos most people want everyone else to change but themselvesÂ…Let me tell youÂ…itÂ’s easier to change yourself than everyone elseÂ…
Â…sad to say Â…guy who flirt aroundÂ…in their own worldÂ…in their head/mindsetÂ…they wonÂ’t give up the whole forrest becos of one treeÂ… so if he does not know how to tressure your friendÂ…most likely even after married ..is still the sameÂ… is hard to expect people to changeÂ…. A very good example..is the married guy nowÂ…
so tell your friend.. to go search for another better guyÂ… there a lot of better guy out there Â…waiting for her to chase themÂ…trueÂ… I have see manyÂ… and some..is very handsomeÂ… very faithful typeÂ… but of course your friend has to put in hard workÂ… to chase them lorÂ… as there is competition Â…good guy dun fall from sky waiting there for u Â…u have to go hunt for themÂ… only bad guy hunt for gal..hahahaÂ…but sad to say Â…although not very true...but is happeningÂ…and who the real loserÂ…sad to say Â…is the galÂ…
believe meÂ… ur has not see the real world likeÂ…there is good ..and of course there is badÂ… so what the hurriedÂ… ask her to leave them..kick..them ..awayÂ…I know..is not easy..as i have friend that is in the same situation Â…but short pain ..better than long painÂ… think for his wifeÂ…put in the position of his wife shoe..what will happen if ur friend is that guy wifeÂ…so dun be selfishÂ…leave himÂ… do a good deed and ur future husband will do a good deed backÂ… there are so many good and better guy out thereÂ…waiting for ur to chooseÂ…open ur eyes to see ..lahÂ…hunt for themÂ… is just a matter of timeÂ… why waste ur time,energy,,,body..on..people whose does not treasure ur friendÂ…
ah yaÂ… nag utill she wake up lorÂ….. -
U have done ur part.
To heed or not, it's her choice.
Sometimes one muz really fall before he learns. -
at the expense of someone innocent ? .......Originally posted by ppinkpponk:sometimes illicit love can be true love. -
Originally posted by ahkico:Pls help!
No no.. Is certainly not MI!!! If my guy see tis.. I'll get it from him liao..
I've tis gd friend.. Her bf is.. Well.. Ok ok lah.. Doesn treat her too well.. @ 1st he has some other gals behind her back.. Kinda flirtin ard.. But then stop le..
Jus came out from N.S.. Started workin.. Since then.. He'll always have no time.. Whole dae not even a msg from him.. Can last for few daes..
They also funny de.. Can break patch break patch..
My tis friend.. She got to noe tis guy.. Whom to her.. Is absolutely wonderful! 2 her..
But he's married!!!
They noe each other for erm.. mayb 3 mths bah..
They sorta went on dates? It first started when they meet for lunch tog.. and they kissed.. and then.. gd nite darlin..
i keep remindin her.. HE IS MARRIED WITH A KID!!! she noes.. say doesn expect anythin.. but he is so unlik her bf.. so caring, gentle. nice... etc..
I already goin lose my top liao!!
I told her everythin i could think off.. Wat retribution, u wouldn wan ur guy nx time to treat u tis way.. Tat now he's sweet.. but His wife surely will find out.. then quarell.. and then he'll tak it out on u..
The longer u got tog, the more u will expect.. then u can't date openly.. got to hide hide.. end up hurt is u.. stand to lose also the gal onli..
he isn a gd guy.. if can have affair behind his wife.. he isn a faithful guy.. etc..
i mangage to persuade her to last msg le.. she says ok ok..
but.. i asked her again.. she say meetin him for breakfast tomorrow..
haiz.. i reali dun feel lik botherin anymore.. told her reali shld last le.. then at most msg onli then stop.. but.. i don think it will end..
it isn my rite to stop her from doin wat she wants.. she says let her enjoy the care for a few more daes.. i'm fraid she will end up hurt.. and the guilt.. if it goes on.. OMG..
Any advice?
Any thing i can do to stop her? 
It is a mutual exchange of emotional needs, based on fourth Law of Love - CloUdiSm. (We attract qualities that we exude). Allow me to refer to 1bigmess case on my reply in 041005 here.
Allow me to quote one section which I had written:Originally posted by yunhaier:
...I have seen so many cases, where a person who cannot commit often find himself/herself being in situation where he/she will attract partners that is unavailable themselves. We attract qualities that we exude (This being Fourth Law of Love - CloUdiSm) Because you cannot commit due to your then-marriage when you scandal first begin two years back, you are such a perfect candidate for a relationship with him because he is seeking for people who cannot commit and at the time, you are simply just that. Look at him! He is also involved with another girl, who is unavailable (being attached)... and therefore I am not even surprised when you relate that part of the story....
*** In similar case, all thoughtful words from you will likely to have no effect on her. There is an emotional NEED... somewhat like when you are hungry, you will simply just eat the expired bread because you are hungry. Hunger is a NEED - until your health suffered and probably get food poisoning or diarrhea, you wouldn't bother. Reason being: it still tasted fine.
So what your friend is attached? His boyfriend isn't giving her what she needs emotionally and if that man could fill in the gap, she will probably think - why not? This is an important element why people choose to accept potential misery even knowing that they are playing with fire. They always thought that they have the power to control the flames, end up, realising it became a huge conflagration that got out of hand.
*** Something to share:
I kinda 'allowed' my best friend to mingle with this married man (with kid), who is her current bf. His marriage was long gone and my best friend's appearance is like the catalysis. At first, it was a flirty play thing, but obviously, I know better and advised against it. But when you realise, warning means nothing to people with deep emotional emptiness... I did what I always do - to let karma teach her.
'... Do what you will... I can only try to catch you when you fall...'
We all must walk the route our destiny has in store for us. This is the path to enlightenment - if people has to go through certain karmic debts, so be it. I am not God, I cannot change what God has for her. I can only offer my views on issues and then my shoulder if things goes wrong and she comes back crying. And if she found what she seek, I will be happy for her. (She is currently very happy in that relationship for she just had a jerk guy in a five years BGR)
P.S: CloUdiSm Law of Alpha Omega overrides everything single law in CloUdiSm. (If all else fail, follow your heart).
Cheers -
i think ur freind will know what's best for herself... she will walk the road she wants and willing to accept any outcome...
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Humh..
shld i answer ? Shld i not..
ok chose to.. hee.. ok married man are basically quite attractive to some ladies out there.
Coz MBA (married but available) usually are finiancial stable, very doting / pampering, know how to please gals. Maybe i shld conclude as anyway they have won an prize trophy back "home" dnt they ?
these guys are nice to us becoz they dnt have a choice, coz they ain't single. If these man treat us as per normal to other guys, do you think we will chose him or a single man ? 3mths isn't too late to pull out of the affair.
rem one thing lead to another. Prolong of the affair will lead only to miserable and loneliness. Try to talk her round but utimately the decision is still hers.
Like you have said he has a child. Do you think he will divorce and hurt his wife and esp the child ? I doubt so really. No matter what i guess the man will try to minimize the hurting for the kid. So what is the out come everyone knows.. As for his wife to find out will be another, hu ha..
cnt imagine that. Maybe both ladies will start to break dwn.. and three of them plus a child four persons in a miserable stage... decision is hers, if she chosen her path. Maybe as a friend you can only support her when she fall. I meant maybe this is a bad idea but that's her life and only she has the mean to stop or move on from the affair. Rite ? 
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getting involved with someone married is WRONG, period !
it should be understood that when someone gets married, he/she is off the market ... there should be no ifs or buts about it .... what about the innocent party, the wifey ? ... what if that situation reverses for your friend one day and she's the wifey now ? .... entirely plausible don't you think .... if the man can cheat on his wifey now .... he can cheat on you one day too .... -
The 1st thing tt come into most pple's mind is tt was ur fren has done is utterly silly and should not be condoned. But matters of the heart are complex issues. It's not as simple as black n white. We are not in a position to judge but rather, we can only hope to one day understand the person's emotions n tots. U can try talking her out of it, but how much more can u do? Pls dun despise her for that coz her current position is already quite sad, if not pitiful. Be her friend n pillar of support these trying times.
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Dear Ahkico,
Your friend has gone through disappointment with her bf, who's hurt her by flirting around. During her most vulnerable moments, the married man enters the equation, & your friend has latched onto him to give her the emotional support & love that she's missing from her relationship.
In this instance, it's hard to blame her for acting the way she did. She probably knows the risks involved in being with a married man; Nobody can be so naive, Not with well-meaning friends telling her the possible consequences.
The main thing is that you've done your best as a friend to act in her best interests. She's chosen to continue the liason with her eyes wide open. Let her face the consequences.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by ahkico:Pls help!
No no.. Is certainly not MI!!! If my guy see tis.. I'll get it from him liao..
I've tis gd friend.. Her bf is.. Well.. Ok ok lah.. Doesn treat her too well.. @ 1st he has some other gals behind her back.. Kinda flirtin ard.. But then stop le..
Jus came out from N.S.. Started workin.. Since then.. He'll always have no time.. Whole dae not even a msg from him.. Can last for few daes..
They also funny de.. Can break patch break patch..
My tis friend.. She got to noe tis guy.. Whom to her.. Is absolutely wonderful! 2 her..
But he's married!!!
They noe each other for erm.. mayb 3 mths bah..
They sorta went on dates? It first started when they meet for lunch tog.. and they kissed.. and then.. gd nite darlin..
i keep remindin her.. HE IS MARRIED WITH A KID!!! she noes.. say doesn expect anythin.. but he is so unlik her bf.. so caring, gentle. nice... etc..
I already goin lose my top liao!!
I told her everythin i could think off.. Wat retribution, u wouldn wan ur guy nx time to treat u tis way.. Tat now he's sweet.. but His wife surely will find out.. then quarell.. and then he'll tak it out on u..
The longer u got tog, the more u will expect.. then u can't date openly.. got to hide hide.. end up hurt is u.. stand to lose also the gal onli..
he isn a gd guy.. if can have affair behind his wife.. he isn a faithful guy.. etc..
i mangage to persuade her to last msg le.. she says ok ok..
but.. i asked her again.. she say meetin him for breakfast tomorrow..
haiz.. i reali dun feel lik botherin anymore.. told her reali shld last le.. then at most msg onli then stop.. but.. i don think it will end..
it isn my rite to stop her from doin wat she wants.. she says let her enjoy the care for a few more daes.. i'm fraid she will end up hurt.. and the guilt.. if it goes on.. OMG..
Any advice?
Any thing i can do to stop her? -
Tell her to stop getting involved.
You're not kidding.
Shake her vigorous to wake her up if you have to.
It's a dream now but will only evolve into a nightmare.
The trouble will be much much bigger for her to handle.
Why are you doing this?
Because she's your friend and you care about it seriously enough.
If she ceases it, you'll be there for her to help her tide thru the rough ride? -
ask her to wake up.
that is exactly the thing with married man. they know the right buttons to push. i have seen and heard of it once too many.
it is always the usual scenario.
in the end your friend is the only one who stand to lose.
just dont understand some women. there are plenty of singles out there yet they choose to get involved with a married man. -
i had a colleague with the same situation.
she says the man is always there to help when she needed help. he claimed he is not on good terms with his wife and will divorce her soon.
during that period my colleague was always crying. because deep inside she knew the man is lying. his wife gave birth to a baby daughter shortly after. but my colleague just couldnt find enough courage to leave him. -
coz such man know how to please a lady..Originally posted by dragg:ask her to wake up.
that is exactly the thing with married man. they know the right buttons to push. i have seen and heard of it once too many.
it is always the usual scenario.
in the end your friend is the only one who stand to lose.
just dont understand some women. there are plenty of singles out there yet they choose to get involved with a married man.
haa..
and all these isn't a choice to be choose.. certain just happen..
everyone is in fate... and like others has say love is an complex issue. -
i always believe it can be avoided.Originally posted by subarugal:coz such man know how to please a lady..
haa..
and all these isn't a choice to be choose.. certain just happen..
everyone is in fate... and like others has say love is an complex issue.
stay away from people who married.
just the fact that he is married but yet try to be specially nice to you already tells you something is not right.
i really dont understand why women can fall for such man. -
wat abt if they lie abt their marital statusOriginally posted by dragg:i always believe it can be avoided.
stay away from people who married.
just the fact that he is married but yet try to be specially nice to you already tells you something is not right.
i really dont understand why women can fall for such man.
all the way ......
till the woman is so emotionally involved with him ................ -
that only make it worst right?Originally posted by pinkygal76:wat abt if they lie abt their marital status all the way ......
till the woman is so emotionally involved with him ................
the man is a liar!! yet the woman continue to be with him. he has literally cheated her. -
she noes he's married liao den still with him... hmmmOriginally posted by dragg:that only make it worst right?
the man is a liar!! yet the woman continue to be with him. he has literally cheated her. -
tell me abt it.....some man are just LIARS ...Liars...Liars ALL THE WAY!!!!Originally posted by dragg:that only make it worst right?
the man is a liar!! yet the woman continue to be with him. he has literally cheated her.
the worst type of man is to cover their lies with more lies......sigh...my sympathy
lies with the wife & kid honestly....they r the innocent party after all............
woman think with our heart ...not with my mind at our weak moments.....
give the 3rd party gal some time......its a matter of time she will choose to leave him... ...a lot of my frenz who got involved choose to leave ultimately !!! -
not after hurting themselves and sometimes others.Originally posted by pinkygal76:tell me abt it.....some man are just LIARS ...Liars...Liars ALL THE WAY!!!!
the worst type of man is to cover their lies with more lies......sigh...my sympathy
lies with the wife & kid honestly....they r the innocent party after all............
woman think with our heart ...not with my mind at our weak moments.....
give the 3rd party gal some time......its a matter of time she will choose to leave him... ...a lot of my frenz who got involved choose to leave ultimately !!!
this is really silly. -
your frd isnt gd either!!! 1 is a b i t c h, the other a b a s t a r d!!! so perfect match
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i find such scenarios ironic.
women always wanted men who are faithful.
yet some get involved with married man, playing the vixen role. -
Ya...thats how some silly human beings can get ...we are creatures ofOriginally posted by dragg:not after hurting themselves and sometimes others.
this is really silly.
emotions after all!