Anti-social personality or jus destined to be loner...
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Hi all,
IÂ’ve been immensely troubled by these inexplicable problems with my social life (or rather, the lack of it) and nothing I do can seem to revert the situation. I feel like a big loser as I see most of my peers having extensive network of friends, going to chalets, clubbing or even jus simply hanging out. The least popular of them have at least a good female buddy or are happily attachedÂ… I have nothingÂ… absolutely no one I can rely on for support when IÂ’m down, no one to share my joy when IÂ’m happyÂ… as IÂ’m penning this melancholic post on a Friday nite as the world party away, u can just imagine how much of a social life I haveÂ…
Contrary to what u might expect, IÂ’m not exactly the stereotypical social misfit or shy introvertÂ… in fact I banter quite well with people on a superficial level; hence, I have many acquaintances in sch. HereÂ’s where the problems occur: Beyond this point, people dun seem to include me in their cliques of hang-out buddies. A typical scenario is: often I would stay around in school with my schoolmates/classmates for discussing projects/self-study & itÂ’s quite a bizarre as they make plans for the night or talk about the party they had last nite, but never ever asking me to join them. ItÂ’s rely painful as I continue working whilst forcing a smile as I listened to their chatÂ… am I invisible or that detestable?!
At every stage of my life, I would make a few close frens, e.g. in school or in the army, but once that phase of life is over, like after completing A levels or NS, I would be gradually forgotten & habitually becoming lonely again
IÂ’m so disillusioned (canÂ’t think of a more appropriate word now) with having constantly to make the effort, to initiate meeting frens I would love to keep in touch withÂ… itÂ’s pretty obvious most of my frens dun rely care much for me, rite? Otherwise, I wouldnÂ’t be feeling this isolated, feeling the burden of this largely one-sided friendshipÂ…
Carpe diemÂ… quite ironically, I actually harbour aspirations to make the most of my life, to lead an exciting life. Alas, whilst some ppl are hindered by a lack of money, parental support or a physical disability, I seem to be socially-handicapped.
Sorry for this long whiny postÂ… IÂ’ve tried to make it as short as possible.
I know experiences of loneliness or self-doubt is not unique to meÂ…but
all in all, all these various factors just makes me feels as thou I’m “destined” to be a loner… -
actually i'm anti-social also. but i chose to be. so far i only reject movie dates, class bbq, class gatherings, clubbings and even cousins's wedding invitations.
u probly need to reaccess ur personal outlooks. and also, smile more. -
You're not alone.. http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=158184
How about taking the initiative in asking people out? Friendships take time and effort to develop cos you're dealing with people's feelings here. Heck, start from this forum!
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Being in the "in" crowd does not mean anything
I am and had always been a nerd who is never invited to anything. I have come to be glad and happy cause I too avoid all the unnecessary issues that comes with these things.
Keeping in touch takes effort. You can try to contact your NS friends or school mates out for a coffee or whatever. I do still email now and then a friend who went back KL a year back.. Don't expect others to take the effort or initiative if you don't.
I am a very introved person and I had to take a lot of effort and courage to go make friends. I dislike all that nonsence talk so my circle of people are very limited cause many people definitely cannot stand me. I am sure you can do it much better. -
well..its not so bad being by urself..dun make it seem as though its e end of e world.Originally posted by pete_parker:Hi all,
IÂ’ve been immensely troubled by these inexplicable problems with my social life (or rather, the lack of it) and nothing I do can seem to revert the situation. I feel like a big loser as I see most of my peers having extensive network of friends, going to chalets, clubbing or even jus simply hanging out. The least popular of them have at least a good female buddy or are happily attachedÂ… I have nothingÂ… absolutely no one I can rely on for support when IÂ’m down, no one to share my joy when IÂ’m happyÂ… as IÂ’m penning this melancholic post on a Friday nite as the world party away, u can just imagine how much of a social life I haveÂ…
Contrary to what u might expect, IÂ’m not exactly the stereotypical social misfit or shy introvertÂ… in fact I banter quite well with people on a superficial level; hence, I have many acquaintances in sch. HereÂ’s where the problems occur: Beyond this point, people dun seem to include me in their cliques of hang-out buddies. A typical scenario is: often I would stay around in school with my schoolmates/classmates for discussing projects/self-study & itÂ’s quite a bizarre as they make plans for the night or talk about the party they had last nite, but never ever asking me to join them. ItÂ’s rely painful as I continue working whilst forcing a smile as I listened to their chatÂ… am I invisible or that detestable?!
At every stage of my life, I would make a few close frens, e.g. in school or in the army, but once that phase of life is over, like after completing A levels or NS, I would be gradually forgotten & habitually becoming lonely again
IÂ’m so disillusioned (canÂ’t think of a more appropriate word now) with having constantly to make the effort, to initiate meeting frens I would love to keep in touch withÂ… itÂ’s pretty obvious most of my frens dun rely care much for me, rite? Otherwise, I wouldnÂ’t be feeling this isolated, feeling the burden of this largely one-sided friendshipÂ…
Carpe diemÂ… quite ironically, I actually harbour aspirations to make the most of my life, to lead an exciting life. Alas, whilst some ppl are hindered by a lack of money, parental support or a physical disability, I seem to be socially-handicapped.
Sorry for this long whiny postÂ… IÂ’ve tried to make it as short as possible.
I know experiences of loneliness or self-doubt is not unique to meÂ…but
all in all, all these various factors just makes me feels as thou I’m “destined” to be a loner…
Im not having any close or best frens either, n y give a damn for pple who r not willin to include u for their outings? Unless u really enjoy their company or u cant live alone with urself...
How old r u btw? Schoolin stil, i guess. Well then u shd know how to set ur priorities from now..Studies comes top of ur list cos if u cant excel in ur social life, then show others n urself that at least ur grades r top or better than ur peers who r not ur "click".
If u can devote most of ur current free time to your school work n exams, and excel in your studies, u wil definitely be able to get urself a stable + well-paid job upon graduation. And if u project an image of success and positivity during working life, many pple (including gals :-p) will naturally be drawn by ur successful image n confidence.
So always divert your attention to e more important tasks infront of u n focus on wat u want, not wat u DONT want. Stay Happy n positive, even if u r on ur own. Cos u r gona face urself longer than u face any1 else, so u must learn to enjoy ur own company first & foremost. (n not depend on ur peers for company n joy) Happiness must come from within urself 1st b4 u can project happiness to others.
In short, juz want u to know many pple r feelin e same way as you, cos u must accept e cruel fact that there r different types of pple in this world, and Type A grp of pple may be always b surrounded by frens & social settings, but they may b so distracted by their colourful, varied lifestyle that their success in career/other aspects of their life will not be as smooth-sailing..
Heaven is always fair..wat u lack/do not possess might be a blessing in disguise, and this way u can focus on the pathway to success in other aspects of ur life. Develop a unique skill that will reveal ur maximum potential in your working life.
Stay happy and dun try too hard to fit into groups of frens who arent giving you sufficient support or companionship. A True Fren is 1 who will be there for u in times of trouble, n y bother be part of a group that takes u for granted n who doesnt reciprocate ur friendship.
Rather be ur own best fren..cos u r e only person u can fully count on or depend on in future.
Just work towards your goals in life n live ur life as u want, Free N Independant. Stay happy cos no matter how..life still has to go on. -
yep... Free and Independent. i am and like that phrase
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loneliness is not an option,its a way of life...
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haha...dats e pointOriginally posted by stellazio:loneliness is not an option,its a way of life... -
ur peers? i dun think so...Originally posted by pete_parker:Hi all,
IÂ’ve been immensely troubled by these inexplicable problems with my social life (or rather, the lack of it) and nothing I do can seem to revert the situation. I feel like a big loser as I see most of my peers having extensive network of friends, going to chalets, clubbing or even jus simply hanging out. The least popular of them have at least a good female buddy or are happily attachedÂ… I have nothingÂ… absolutely no one I can rely on for support when IÂ’m down, no one to share my joy when IÂ’m happyÂ… as IÂ’m penning this melancholic post on a Friday nite as the world party away, u can just imagine how much of a social life I haveÂ…
since u r young, and you wanna go out right? go join SDU. Singles Club. go join CC activities. clubbing is not a thing for every1. so no worries there. -
why do you not keep in touch with your ex-classmates? is u never contact them or they never contact you? sometimes all it takes is for you to send them an sms to ask them out for a gathering.
if you dun work at it, you will never sustain a r/s. -
i'm a passive person,always wait for ppl to ask me to this n that,go out,play soccer,go shopping n that...my cliques.i think is those 6-7 ppl...those really close ppl that i will go out with...my frens not very much...juz like 168nia...including those hi n gd bye frens...
Guess its ur luck,when meeting true frens...since sec2 ,i haven found any real cliques besides the 7 mentioned above...So, i think it's god will and many many factors...wat situations and moments u spent with ur those true frens, these experieces will only make ur frenship better. -
hey CP25 thanx for the helpful reply... hav u been thu similar phase... u seem 2 undertstd quite well certain aspects of my probsOriginally posted by CP25:well..its not so bad being by urself..dun make it seem as though its e end of e world.
Im not having any close or best frens either, n y give a damn for pple who r not willin to include u for their outings? Unless u really enjoy their company or u cant live alone with urself...
How old r u btw? Schoolin stil, i guess. Well then u shd know how to set ur priorities from now..Studies comes top of ur list cos if u cant excel in ur social life, then show others n urself that at least ur grades r top or better than ur peers who r not ur "click".
If u can devote most of ur current free time to your school work n exams, and excel in your studies, u wil definitely be able to get urself a stable + well-paid job upon graduation. And if u project an image of success and positivity during working life, many pple (including gals :-p) will naturally be drawn by ur successful image n confidence.
So always divert your attention to e more important tasks infront of u n focus on wat u want, not wat u DONT want. Stay Happy n positive, even if u r on ur own. Cos u r gona face urself longer than u face any1 else, so u must learn to enjoy ur own company first & foremost. (n not depend on ur peers for company n joy) Happiness must come from within urself 1st b4 u can project happiness to others.
In short, juz want u to know many pple r feelin e same way as you, cos u must accept e cruel fact that there r different types of pple in this world, and Type A grp of pple may be always b surrounded by frens & social settings, but they may b so distracted by their colourful, varied lifestyle that their success in career/other aspects of their life will not be as smooth-sailing..
Heaven is always fair..wat u lack/do not possess might be a blessing in disguise, and this way u can focus on the pathway to success in other aspects of ur life. Develop a unique skill that will reveal ur maximum potential in your working life.
Stay happy and dun try too hard to fit into groups of frens who arent giving you sufficient support or companionship. A True Fren is 1 who will be there for u in times of trouble, n y bother be part of a group that takes u for granted n who doesnt reciprocate ur friendship.
Rather be ur own best fren..cos u r e only person u can fully count on or depend on in future.
Just work towards your goals in life n live ur life as u want, Free N Independant. Stay happy cos no matter how..life still has to go on.
in fact i'm doin alreadi doin some of the things u mentioned... like concentrating on my studies; i'm 23, curently studying a degree in SIM...
Thou i'm mildy depressed & live like a recluse now.. unfortunately i do not possess any extraordinary talent or the "genius" that comes with some mentally tortured (like john nash, winston churchill for example..)
i've had slightly above average results now... but that's due to me spending so much more time studyin. And i'm studying more cos i simply hav nothin else more constructive to do... like on most weekends, whilst most of my classmates make plans to meet up or go dating, i'm kinda "forced" stay at home cos i hav no "social connections"... other than watchin tv, i tod it'll be good to study..
the other reason, i conclude, for me feeling so empty & lonely is i hav no particular hobbies/interest... i read, write & lov watchin tv.. but i've no special sports or musical talent... -
Herein lies the solution to your predicament.Originally posted by pete_parker:Hi all,
........................................
Carpe diemÂ… quite ironically, I actually harbour aspirations to make the most of my life, to lead an exciting life. Alas, whilst some ppl are hindered by a lack of money, parental support or a physical disability, I seem to be socially-handicapped.
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Your problem is you do not know what you want.
Do you want to hang out with your friends, or do you want to do your own thing?
Do what you can best do.
Just do it, and all else will follow accordingly.
If you're doing what you like to do, you will soon have your own crowd.
Forget about the crowd in which you do not fit in. -
Hi my fren, i too find myself pretty much an anti-social as well...but its a choice of mine to spend e bulk of time available to myself.Originally posted by pete_parker:hey CP25 thanx for the helpful reply... hav u been thu similar phase... u seem 2 undertstd quite well certain aspects of my probs
in fact i'm doin alreadi doin some of the things u mentioned... like concentrating on my studies; i'm 23, curently studying a degree in SIM...
Thou i'm mildy depressed & live like a recluse now.. unfortunately i do not possess any extraordinary talent or the "genius" that comes with some mentally tortured (like john nash, winston churchill for example..)
i've had slightly above average results now... but that's due to me spending so much more time studyin. And i'm studying more cos i simply hav nothin else more constructive to do... like on most weekends, whilst most of my classmates make plans to meet up or go dating, i'm kinda "forced" stay at home cos i hav no "social connections"... other than watchin tv, i tod it'll be good to study..
the other reason, i conclude, for me feeling so empty & lonely is i hav no particular hobbies/interest... i read, write & lov watchin tv.. but i've no special sports or musical talent...
I used to club with a couple of frens nearly every weekend , but as i grow older, my personality n thinkng sort of changed n gradually drifted away from those clubbin kakis..until i completely stopped going to clubs unless i realli realli feltlike goin..if not I prefer to do my own stuff n indulge in my own past-times. (last time i went clubbin was on my birthday)
I felt a big shift in my personality thru out tis yr (1m 25 tis yr), and i dislike crowds or festivals or even family gatherings. I do not feel comfortable ard strangers i wld say..n hated takin public transport. Avoided crowds n social gatherings. I chose to be so as I find it quite unnatural of myself to socialise, and makin small talk ungenuinely..
Therefore, I kinda stopped forcing myself to mingle n make frens, and started to enjoy quiet moments by myself, deciding wat kind of life I wanna lead..my career, type of soulmate i wan etc..
N I told myself dat i am e most important person in tis world, n wont ever try to live up to any1's expectation except my own. I wil take responsibilty for all my own actions, be it rite or wrong as long as by doing so n so, i wil benefit from n im not harming any1 or takin advantage of any1.
"Wat ever happens, I can take it"
So dun despair..its good u r facing these growing pains earlier than ur peers..cos believe me, ur so-called frens who r e social butterflies wil go thru tis same phase too, n wat u see normal from e outside may not b normal after all. I had frens who r e life of any party, havin very wide network of frens, whom actualli broke down eventualli n even wanted to commit sucide.
They had lost their own identity while constantly pleasing ohers n mingling with too many pple.
It good that u r takin a degree..paper qualification counts alot werever u go. At least wif a skill, u wont b afraid dat u wont get a job wen u go other countries. Hav a vision, a kind of life u yearn living even if u will be alone.
guess i better stop rambling..hope dat all of us can all excel in life, n live e life we want -
try asking urself wat r e things u enjoyed doin in ur childhood..swimming, badminton, handicraft, photograpy, drawing, any hobbies dat wil make u go out there n practise/do..
for mi..im takin swimming lessons wif some 5 to 15 yrs children, n believe me, its more fun than learning with adults ..haha
i will be volunteerin at IMH tis Nov as well..i had called them to say i wanted to volunteer n jus had a reply from them inviting me for e orientation..hehe
watever u wana do, jus do it..dun care wat others wil say, u wil not giv a damn as its ur rite to live e way u wan to.
And make sure all ur actions n words comes from e bottom of ur heart..not to please or doin for any1 else
nuff said...luv urself e most! -
hey that sounds so much like what went thru... glad that i'm not the only one experiencing thisOriginally posted by CP25:I felt a big shift in my personality thru out tis yr (1m 25 tis yr), and i dislike crowds or festivals or even family gatherings. I do not feel comfortable ard strangers i wld say..n hated takin public transport. Avoided crowds n social gatherings. I chose to be so as I find it quite unnatural of myself to socialise, and makin small talk ungenuinely..
Therefore, I kinda stopped forcing myself to mingle n make frens, and started to enjoy quiet moments by myself, deciding wat kind of life I wanna lead..my career, type of soulmate i wan etc..
N I told myself dat i am e most important person in tis world, n wont ever try to live up to any1's expectation except my own. I wil take responsibilty for all my own actions, be it rite or wrong as long as by doing so n so, i wil benefit from n im not harming any1 or takin advantage of any1.
"Wat ever happens, I can take it"
So dun despair..its good u r facing these growing pains earlier than ur peers..cos believe me, ur so-called frens who r e social butterflies wil go thru tis same phase too, n wat u see normal from e outside may not b normal after all. I had frens who r e life of any party, havin very wide network of frens, whom actualli broke down eventualli n even wanted to commit sucide.
They had lost their own identity while constantly pleasing ohers n mingling with too many pple. i used to think ppl undergo such deep changes at a later stage in life..
like i mentioned, i wasn't exactly a introvert...i was a happy-go-lucky teenager with a decent social life thru out my secondary sch yrs. in fact i had 4 best frens, each with quite distinct personality & kinda represent the pillars of social life... i wasn't never the star of any group but was contended as long as i hav a few close frens i cld connect to...
But then, aft army & perhaps onset of depression, break-up with gf, some bad luck & whatever... i jus kinda ~ Lost it
In the past 3 yrs, i cld not seem to develop anymore meaningful relationships with frends or the gals i like... my current batch of frens in uni are quite superficial & distant...maybe it's not their fault... like u point out, i cld hav undergone a personality change....
I feel quietly uncomfortable in large crowds now, & also at my large family gathering... the year-end festive seasons like xmas & new yr also gives me the creep... on one hand, it's with envy & sadness as i watch the on-going crowd of frens, lovers holding hand during xmas as i reflect my own lacklustre social life... on the other hand, i'm also weary of the large crowd, preferin to spend time quiet & alone.... -
Hope u r feelin better after realising every1 r Xperiencing similar events like urself. All of us hav our fair share of ups & downs, its jus a matter of how we each react to our downs n overcome them 2 move on to e next phase of lifeOriginally posted by pete_parker:hey that sounds so much like what went thru... glad that i'm not the only one experiencing this i used to think ppl undergo such deep changes at a later stage in life..
like i mentioned, i wasn't exactly a introvert...i was a happy-go-lucky teenager with a decent social life thru out my secondary sch yrs. in fact i had 4 best frens, each with quite distinct personality & kinda represent the pillars of social life... i wasn't never the star of any group but was contended as long as i hav a few close frens i cld connect to...
But then, aft army & perhaps onset of depression, break-up with gf, some bad luck & whatever... i jus kinda ~ Lost it
In the past 3 yrs, i cld not seem to develop anymore meaningful relationships with frends or the gals i like... my current batch of frens in uni are quite superficial & distant...maybe it's not their fault... like u point out, i cld hav undergone a personality change....
I feel quietly uncomfortable in large crowds now, & also at my large family gathering... the year-end festive seasons like xmas & new yr also gives me the creep... on one hand, it's with envy & sadness as i watch the on-going crowd of frens, lovers holding hand during xmas as i reflect my own lacklustre social life... on the other hand, i'm also weary of the large crowd, preferin to spend time quiet & alone....
Its good dat u hav found some1 here who also likes to go driving at nite, enjoying e beauty of e nite, not every1 can hav tis kind of past-tiime u noe ...hehe (some of us do not own a car). Lucky e both of u. N might as well u can initiate a session with tis forumite, cos its a blessing n definitely not easy to get to know some1 who shares similar interest
Dont waste ur energy fretting over all these trivial issues n lose focus on e more impt tasks in ur life (ur studies n personal development). As we develop a unique personality of our own, we naturally change n e kind of frens we choose to hang ard wif also changes. Its a natural process n change always meet with RESISTANCE, n these probs u hv r e resistance u r facing. Accept n overcome them wif ur thinking n actions. N see e positive events unfolding in ur life after u overcome these unhappy feelings. They will either go away or stay if u wish them to. Remember, always focus on wat u want.
Our mind is a powerful tool to attain our goals..wat u focus on all e time, u r bound to do things/behave in ways to make them happen.
1) "Never Give Up Trying N Never Ever Look down or feel bad About Urself." U r ur own judge, so reflect on ur own actions whether its good / bad.
2) Believe Urself. When u believe urself 1st n foremost, others will also start to believe in u, n react accordingly to ur beliefs.
3) Nv ever say bad /undesirable things abt urself. Its better to keep quiet if u hav nothing good to say abt urself than to say things that wil let others have a negative perception of u. You can be e kind of person u want to be as long as u always feel good abt urself (High level of discipline needed here, but will have powerful effects)
4) Let go of all your expections of every1 ard u, learn to accept them for whom they r n watever affection / attention they give u. Do not expect to be reciprocated e same for watever amt of attention/love u give them. BY releasing ur hopes / expections of others' actions towards u, U wil hav maximum PEACE OF MIND.
5) Dun get personal or affected by other pple's unkind words/actions, e problem lies wif them feeling bad abt themselves, definitely not directed at u.
6) Always be contended with wat u hav at present; Live in e moment; Relax urself n continue working on ur goals while watch ur life events (destiny) unfolding b4 u.
7) Remember that "Its Better To B Poor when U young, rather to b poor wen u r Old." U r building a career tat determines e quality of life u gona hav in future. Start planning for your future, n save $$$..
And personally, I feel u r doin very well by studying at SIM, cos u r making efforts to upgrade urself. Just remember to stay firm n focus on ur path, n not b affected by e probs u hav posted. Know tat u r there to study n get e qualifications necessary for a better career. Dun get sidetracked by such issues tat wil direct ur energy / attention away frm ur studies. Its something u shd b aware n proud of, n a accomplishment / pathway to a more comfortable n better quality of life for urself. [b
In a nutshell,
tat u din notice in e past) e Its kinda of like a natural growing up process, similar xperiences n shifts in life (esp e phase of being 20 going to our 30s), its a natural transition...all part of e great universal force working its influence. However, no 1 cn hav exactly identical life xperiences, not even Siamese twins, but how well we react accordingly to these traumatic, disturbing events will result in either Good or eithr Bad consequences n aftermath emotions
When u r able to climb out of ur nutshell, accept ur life (which most probably is fated, nothing much u can change ur destiny but u definitely can reduce e harmful KARMA happening in ur life by doing more Good deeds n contribute positively to tis near-crazy but still acceptable society)
The ultimate objective is to obtain PEACE, GOOD HEALTH, JOY n BALANCE in our lives. Live Simply n by doin so, u learn to enjoy wat life has to offer. Always surround urself with loving pple, n u wil always see e positive side of life. Think positively everyday, be patient as results will not happen overnite. To change our old set of negative beliefs takes time, n only by thinking positively, u will attract more positive outcomes n frens
Life is already perfect on its own, accept e differences between urself n others in terms of destiny. Just give ur best in watever u do cos dats e onli way u can enjoy urself.
Take absolute control on ur life, and no one wil have e chance to take control over u, ONLY IF U ALLOW THEM E CHANCE TO DO SO. -
gee...wat a long post i did..dun flame me k
juz wanted to share stuff wif some pple whom i tink is troubled -
U are not anti-social, but ur problem is quite common among people who seems to have lots of friends. During my JC days, I have 2 friends who are really well-known in school. They seem to know tons of people, everywhere they go is 'Hi, XX!' or 'Hi YY', but they somehow don't seem to have 1 particular close friend with them. And on some occasions, u will spot them eating alone in the canteen.
I used 2 be anti-social. During my sec school days right up to my NS days, I will reject 70% of invitations to me to go out. Sometimes, I just don't feel the need to go for some class gatherings, some BBQs, some Birthday party. As a result, except for my really close friends, I lost touch with many of my former classmates, and some 'friends'. Prior to entering Uni, I told myself to change, to be more sporty. I take the initiative, by organizing a few gatherings, and made a point to make it for gatherings when invited. As a result, I can't say I am Mr.Popular now, but rather, my social circle has widen, and I had made a great deal by having new/great/wonderful friends in my life now.
Sometimes, all it takes is for someone to break the ice is to take the lead and ask people out. I can see u are the friendly type. So why not take the lead, and ask someone/a group out? Things will happen from there. And even if u don't succeed in having a large group of friends, at least u will make 1 or 2 close friends, and u can ask them out next time.
Hope this post helps -
some people may just want time for their own. u know.. to be quiet to enjoy listening music or jus simply laze at home. some people are jus shy not anti social. if u crack open their shelll u may even get a surprise
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A friend is 1 of e nicest things you can have...and 1 of e best things you can be~
U may not have e nicest friends now...but u can always choose to be e friend u always hoped for to other people
Its a sure fire way to get a spark going! -
your best friend could be the one who betray you most easily as he understand u more and he/she know you alot of things
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Actually the process of consolidating my thoughts/problems & penning this post is quite a therapeutic treatmentÂ… I realized. Then comes along ur lengthy sharing of insights & advices which was definitely helpfulÂ… more than helpful, I now see my problems frm one additional perspectiveÂ… Thanx a lot!Originally posted by CP25:haha..finally u get e point..n enlightened
All of us here r trying to tell u wat u r goin thru is exactly a replay of our own Xperiences, n dats e reason y we r able to relate to u so well..every human nature works on e same philosophy n logic .
Its kinda of like a natural growing up process, similar xperiences n shifts in life (esp e phase of being 20 going to our 30s), its a natural transition...all part of e great universal force working its influence. However, no 1 cn hav exactly identical life xperiences, not even Siamese twins, but how well we react accordingly to these traumatic, disturbing events will result in either Good or eithr Bad consequences n aftermath emotions
That's y its good to share Xperiences n learn from lotsa of freindly n Xperienced "Veterens" of Life here ..keke
I was feeling isolated b4, wen i started all this shifting n major changes in life, I went thru worse times than u did, I can tell u but I am able to overcome them alone n IM SUPER PROUD OF IT!
I m quite surprised dat ur xperiences is e most similar to mine compared to e other forumites here..haha
Cos i too dislike Xmas or CNY (except for e hongbao collection..hehe), but I will not avoid such festival anymore...wil initiate n plan gatherings with 1 of my gal fren for a crazy nite out (also to see handsome dudes all out on e streets for sure on Xmas tis yr). If u want, we can mitup for sports like badminton or tabletennis on days im not workin or studying..keke
Im working 2 jobs n studying in a pte school for my degree. I wana relocate to either UK, AUS, US or even MALAYSIA n am saving for e purchase of a simple n cheap apt of my own. N lots more goals like waiting patiently for my soul-mate to appear (luv cant b rushed..wen cupid hits u, no matter wer u go, u wil meet dat fated 1. so while waiting, go do stuff u always wanted to do or switch jobs if u hate ur job, go travel on urself..u might hav some nice encounters)
My destination for 2006 is UK, london n Manchester. If u keen to join mi, feel free to let me noe.. although im goin there for a 6mths course.
My guide to PEACE n serenity n joy in life is: TO Appreciate e Things u have Now, e world is already perfect on its own now..u cant change anything or anyone ard u, e ONLY thing u can change is ur thoughts n perception...work on it , a positive thought a day keeps e negativity away!
Trust me..u will xperience a wonderful carefree feeling like wat i hav now. This feeling came onto me recently n I no longer take pills on a regular routine for my migraine, anxiety prob, Bipolar disorder (incurable, but can b controlled) and insomnia. (worse off rite? so many psychological probs..but who gives a damn ..as long as Im takin steps to make myself a better person n enjoying my life in everyway I can.)
I can go without them even for months, but for some days, its realli bad esp e extreme downs in moods which is out of my control n e mania periods realli make me more productive n euphoric though..haha
So not so bad after all to be diagnosed with BD
Hey I used to suspect myself suffering frm bipolar disorder &/or mania depression too.. the mood swing, thou not chronic, was quite disruptive to my live. Sometimes, a negative comment frm a fren can cause me to sulk & wallow in anger for the rest of the dayÂ… sometimes, jus waking up in the morning I wld feel inexplicably depressed & blue, esp on rainy daysÂ… IÂ’ve not taken any medications b4 but rather drink quite a lot whenever I felt upsetÂ…
I can understand what u have been thruÂ… IÂ’ve read many many self-help books, motivation & psychological books over the past few yrs during my depressive periodÂ… If I wasnÂ’t studying business, I wld consider being a psychologist/ counselor etcÂ… -
Yo Pete...seriously.
You're really not alone.
Brace up and look forward to a excited life ahead!
I hope you learn to treasure what your future lies from this dip.
Cheers -
Hey it's great that u seem to be having lotsa of plans in the makin for the near future... & it's reflective of ur generally upbeat & enthusiatic outlook now... such motivations, i realized, is esp important for ppl like us (sorrie 4 lumping us together)..Originally posted by CP25:Im working 2 jobs n studying in a pte school for my degree. I wana relocate to either UK, AUS, US or even MALAYSIA n am saving for e purchase of a simple n cheap apt of my own. N lots more goals like waiting patiently for my soul-mate to appear (luv cant b rushed..wen cupid hits u, no matter wer u go, u wil meet dat fated 1. so while waiting, go do stuff u always wanted to do or switch jobs if u hate ur job, go travel on urself..u might hav some nice encounters)
My destination for 2006 is UK, london n Manchester. If u keen to join mi, feel free to let me noe.. although im goin there for a 6mths course.
My guide to PEACE n serenity n joy in life is: TO Appreciate e Things u have Now, e world is already perfect on its own now..u cant change anything or anyone ard u, e ONLY thing u can change is ur thoughts n perception...work on it , a positive thought a day keeps e negativity away!
Trust me..u will xperience a wonderful carefree feeling like wat i hav now. This feeling came onto me recently n I no longer take pills on a regular routine for my migraine, anxiety prob, Bipolar disorder (incurable, but can b controlled) and insomnia. (worse off rite? so many psychological probs..but who gives a damn ..as long as Im takin steps to make myself a better person n enjoying my life in everyway I can.)
I can go without them even for months, but for some days, its realli bad esp e extreme downs in moods which is out of my control n e mania periods realli make me more productive n euphoric though..haha
So not so bad after all to be diagnosed with BD
My fren, now dat u get e gist of life..hope u b e best u can b, but always be soft n kindest to urself. If u dun feel rite or extremely uncomfortable abt doing certain stuff, then diss it away. Find other means to attain ur objective, hav a goal in life n work towards it from e nearest route. A small step a day wil lead to bigger steps n bingo! u reached e peak..jus like climbing a mountain..climb it at ur own pace, dun get swayed / envious of pple.
.
Generally, i realized ppl like myself tend to be discouraged easily & have a tendency to be moody, nostalgic abt past relationships & wallow in self-inflcited misery easily..
Hence, it's quite gd when we hav some inspiring plans in the near future...
Like i go to mediacorp studio every weekend lately to watch e recording of superfunkies... allows me to immerse in the pleasure of songs i like, my superstar idols & great experience compared to watchin tv at home...
I used 2 dread weekends cos i feel envious of my peers having exciting plans whilst i'm always alone... I find it so difficult to find company even jus for dinner or movies... Hence i gradually learn to make plans ... that allows me to enjoy myself w/o necessarily depending on others' availabilty...
I also enjoy driving by myself along ECP, the road to Changi Airport... my sat nite is sometimes spent crusing along the roads... jus enjoyin e breeze, the music playin etc... it sounds pathetic if i tell my peers this is my past time but ultimately, i'm learning (thou it's difficult) to be myself...
My exams wld be over in 2 weeks time... ur msg was timely in reminding me e importances of plan & inspiring myself ..... Hopefully i can improve step by step .... it's difficult but i'll try...