shld i wait?
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it has been a long time.Originally posted by dcx:Pls allow me to rebutt against you with those hi-liteds'......
I do not feel that it's your fault of initiating the breakup....becoz what i feel is that he's tolerating you all the while...i.e. you're kinda a burden to him, nuisance(a very bad word to be used), however, i do feel that he's those kind of guys that will wait the opposite sex to initiate the breakup....
You may feel that i'm going against him....but i'm just trying to helo you out,...hoping that you can realized the reality and facts...
Even if you're given a chance, i doubt it'll work out......just what i think....might be the real case anyway...
It's true that you may need to change ur temper abit....not for him....but for yourself....
But i beg to differ.
There is always too sides of the coin. Don't be too sure yet?
Cheers -
Haha.. Sorry. But I'm back again. Missed out some stuff...
You said 'i've really broke his heart...His friend told me im the first gf he's so nice and caring to...but i hurt him...always taking him for granted and throwing tantrums at him...never seeing the good side of him...'
By typing that here, you are already showing your emotions. But has he ever stop to think about the breakage of your heart? If he really love you, he would at least communicate to see where the problem lies.
If it is about your temper, then he would definetely try to change you for the better despite all odds. But thats another question of whether he wants to change you for your sake, or for his sake. Owells. Nvm.
HIS FRIEND? Baaah... Words are as decieving as appearances. Humans are devious creatures, I would say. Everyone can sound torn apart and upset, its a matter of skill. Not all the time though. No one truely understands one another as the human mind itself is complex. 'Never seeing the good side of him?' The sentence you mention already allow us to see his 'good' side. First girlfriend that he is nice and caring to? Then what are the rest? Toys? If hes capable of pulling wool over other girls' eyes, then can he do the same to you.
I can sound sad too and list out all the things I've done for her, but not the things she've done for me. All for the sake of one word, sympathy. Make yourself sound so great to the ears of others. Pathetic!
Believe me, theres always a better guy. Don't worry and live happily. Never let him see you sad. For even IF he did truely love you, he would like to see you happy.
Just my thoughts... -
hmmm.....Originally posted by G2hellz:Haha.. Sorry. But I'm back again. Missed out some stuff...
You said 'i've really broke his heart...His friend told me im the first gf he's so nice and caring to...but i hurt him...always taking him for granted and throwing tantrums at him...never seeing the good side of him...'
By typing that here, you are already showing your emotions. But has he ever stop to think about the breakage of your heart? If he really love you, he would at least communicate to see where the problem lies.
If it is about your temper, then he would definetely try to change you for the better despite all odds. But thats another question of whether he wants to change you for your sake, or for his sake. Owells. Nvm.
HIS FRIEND? Baaah... Words are as decieving as appearances. Humans are devious creatures, I would say. Everyone can sound torn apart and upset, its a matter of skill. Not all the time though. No one truely understands one another as the human mind itself is complex. 'Never seeing the good side of him?' The sentence you mention already allow us to see his 'good' side. First girlfriend that he is nice and caring to? Then what are the rest? Toys? If hes capable of pulling wool over other girls' eyes, then can he do the same to you.
I can sound sad too and list out all the things I've done for her, but not the things she've done for me. All for the sake of one word, sympathy. Make yourself sound so great to the ears of others. Pathetic!
Believe me, theres always a better guy. Don't worry and live happily. Never let him see you sad. For even IF he did truely love you, he would like to see you happy.
Just my thoughts...
Maybe...maybe not.
Cheers -
hmm...since some of you want the whole story, then i will just say the whole story as much as i can remember...
We spent weekends together...cos rest of the week, both working and too tired to meet up...then that night, he was off work early and he wanted me to go and eat with him n his friend...but i don't want as i was feeling really depressed due to a personal matter...but he didn't understand...so he went ahead and bought food for me...
i asked him to stay with me for a while cos really needed his company..but he said he was tired and he wanted to go home to rest....so i asked him to call me when he's home...actually i closed the door on his face cos i was really disappointed with him already...
guess what, he called me at 12plus when he promised to be home at 9plus...he said he went drinking with his friend instead...what the crap???....
i told him i was very disappointed with him, and perhaps he don't need a gf at tis point of time...all he needed was a companion...and his friend can provide the company already...a gf is like a burden to him instead...so i said i want to break up cos when i need him the most, he's always not by my side...he hang up immediately...end of story.... -
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Thanks for your reply YupLeng. Appreciate lots.Originally posted by YuPLeNg:hmm...since some of you want the whole story, then i will just say the whole story as much as i can remember...
We spent weekends together...cos rest of the week, both working and too tired to meet up...then that night, he was off work early and he wanted me to go and eat with him n his friend...but i don't want as i was feeling really depressed due to a personal matter...but he didn't understand...so he went ahead and bought food for me...
i asked him to stay with me for a while cos really needed his company..but he said he was tired and he wanted to go home to rest....so i asked him to call me when he's home...actually i closed the door on his face cos i was really disappointed with him already...
guess what, he called me at 12plus when he promised to be home at 9plus...he said he went drinking with his friend instead...what the crap???....
i told him i was very disappointed with him, and perhaps he don't need a gf at tis point of time...all he needed was a companion...and his friend can provide the company already...a gf is like a burden to him instead...so i said i want to break up cos when i need him the most, he's always not by my side...he hang up immediately...end of story....
Let's see if we could find something worth commenting on.
Your frequency of meeting your 'ex bf' is quite normal for a couple in local context.
Does it seem to you that the breaking point in this relationship is actually both his and your communication methods?
Both of you don't look too understanding.
The complete break down of the relationship is from expectations and poor communication.
Read ::::Expectations::::
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YupLeng:
Please consider this point which i am going to present to you.
Hope you'll see something positive in it. There are too many [possible] reasons for his avoidance and the failed relationship.
I hope you won't settle for the negetive ones. I doesn't help to guess unless he tells you the truth.
When you claimed that you felt he doesn't love you anymore,
have you wondered what caused the love to fade?
There could be afew:
Circumstances? - Workload.
Time? - Frequency of meeting
Understanding? - Time of knowing one another?
Outsiders? - New friends and distractions?
Communication? - Personal topics ceased?
Mindset? - Change of values and ideals?
To add on.
You might have seen him putting in effort to accomodate you?
He might have been facing personal matters too?
He might be feeling depressed and the only consult he can get will be from his friends.
He felt you don't understand what he's going thru.
By claiming that he doesn't love you anymore is an easy route to admit that the relationship is gone, by doing that. You're giving yourself a longer time to recover.
It is crucial to understand that there are always lessons to learn from each relationships.
You can set yourself free from the sufferings of failed relationship, and harbouring all the faults.
Hope you can see the light in this matter. And either seek Closure(active) or let it all go and let time heal(passive).
Cheers -
I think it is the bf fault or he is having stress and other problems ?
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It might be his part to play. But cannot oversee the portion of responsibility the girl have to bear.Originally posted by ghimpheng:I think it is the bf fault or he is having stress and other problems ?
It is his fault. Doesn't mean she's not at fault at all.
Cheers -
...
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I've finally managed to talk to him...
Asked him if we can get back together but he says he don't know...Actually i know that he is just afraid to hurt me by saying no....
Wanted to meet him but he said no cos he don't want to see me cry...
Perhaps its no longer possible...all i wish now is to be his friend forever...a friend who's constantly there for him when he needs me...but its gonna be so hard...
he said he missed me but i cannot give him the freedom he wants...
i guess i can only learn to let go... -
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It has ALREADY HAPPENED... -
it seemed so familiar to me...Originally posted by YuPLeNg:I've finally managed to talk to him...
Asked him if we can get back together but he says he don't know...Actually i know that he is just afraid to hurt me by saying no....
Wanted to meet him but he said no cos he don't want to see me cry...
Perhaps its no longer possible...all i wish now is to be his friend forever...a friend who's constantly there for him when he needs me...but its gonna be so hard...
he said he missed me but i cannot give him the freedom he wants...
i guess i can only learn to let go...
coz when i asked my ex 1st time, his reply was i dun know. i asked him another time, he said that he liked his present lifestyle..no worry... no distraction. my heart sunk..
i dun understand y cant men just yes or no.... i rather take harsh word ( ie can get back or cannot get back).
even though we broke up, he seemed to be concerned abt me. there was once my friend called him and told him that i seemed to be in depression. then he called me immediately.... he comforted me.
recently, he called me on his own... for a short conversation. i was happy to answer it.
i really wish to have him back. is it possible??? -
Yes. Tell him you still love him.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:it seemed so familiar to me...
coz when i asked my ex 1st time, his reply was i dun know. i asked him another time, he said that he liked his present lifestyle..no worry... no distraction. my heart sunk..
i dun understand y cant men just yes or no.... i rather take harsh word ( ie can get back or cannot get back).
even though we broke up, he seemed to be concerned abt me. there was once my friend called him and told him that i seemed to be in depression. then he called me immediately.... he comforted me.
recently, he called me on his own... for a short conversation. i was happy to answer it.
i really wish to have him back. is it possible??? -
he knew that...
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ever heard of chinese proveb, "zhi4 zhi1 shi3 di4, hou4 er2 fu4 sheng1"..Originally posted by YuPLeNg:I've finally managed to talk to him...
Asked him if we can get back together but he says he don't know...Actually i know that he is just afraid to hurt me by saying no....
Wanted to meet him but he said no cos he don't want to see me cry...
Perhaps its no longer possible...all i wish now is to be his friend forever...a friend who's constantly there for him when he needs me...but its gonna be so hard...
he said he missed me but i cannot give him the freedom he wants...
i guess i can only learn to let go...
i nt implying anything, but IF he never reject you directly, means, u still have a chance. Since you have driven yourself to this point, then, start caring for him like a female friend, and SHOW (SINCERELY and TRUTHFULLY) him that you changed, but do not pop him the qs of coming back together, but letting him know that you are still very muc in love with him..
can still drink kopi, watch movie or phone chat...
but don't pop the qs again..if he's still have feeling for you, he'll say. not u
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he has already made it clear...perhaps he has already moved on.
Maybe for now, just try to not contact him at all, get used to not being with him, do things by yourself, go out with frens, etc...even though you might be hurt, but life will still go on. And one day you will be healed. -
i think this guy simply has no more feelings for ya.....Originally posted by YuPLeNg:I've told his friend about it and his friend has told him that i'm still waiting for him...I also feel that he doesn't love me anymore or maybe he don't love me that much...There was this night at 2am when my friend called him and told him something happened to me but instead of calling me straight away, he called his friend to tell him how pissed he is with me for coming up with this trick...I didn't ask my friend to call in the first place!!...
I was really disappointed that night...what if i was really in danger??...his response to me was so cold...not even concerned...but yet , i will think of reasons for him...maybe he was just too tired after work...as he was asleep already...but then again, if he can call his friend, why can't he just give me a ring?...why does he hate me so much?...just because i've hurt his pride n ego by breaking up with him?
he doesnt take your feelings into consideration whereas u are still sparing so much thought for him....
think u should let go... -
hai girl got a pic?
need a pic before i can advise.
thanks -
love is tricky,love is painful, if you dare to accept it into your life,
you should know how to let it go..
((((:` -
you call him and sms him say u want back in the relationship. Buy him gifts and chocolates. Im sure he be touched by ur sincerity and get back to u. I promise.
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That sounded like one of the articles i read in teenagers.
1. Stop feeling inferior!
- You blame yourself for the broken relationship. Girls, when saying good bye to a relationship, always do this. Look at his behaviour before you two broke up. To me, he seem to be trying to hint to you that he wanted a breakup.
2. Gain control!
- Get on with your life. Guys all have a certain extent of ego. He MIGHT be dragging this because you're making him feel good. Get on with your life. People love things they cannot get.
3. If you must.
- If you really love him and still want him back, tell him you don't love him first. Try to approach him as a friend. Most guys cannot stand a girl they like being "so close yet so far". That's why their right feelings will reveal. You have to be observant, though.
-binary-nwitz. -
YES.
You are right! I'd been trying to say this to some of the forumites.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by ejb:Relationship problem are always hard to solve, cuz one hardly get to see both side of the problem..
In which , during majority of the time, both parties will try to make themselves look like the "pathethic" or rather the "wronged" one...
sorry for being harsh if i did, but it's just that you might need to think honestly through if you had "hurt" him before previously.. -
MC, can you PLEASE hor, give more of these replies in other threads? I don't say it as well as you do, & I always try to give this sorta reply. That although 1 party is at fault, the person posting should Not make it seem as though they're totally blameless & have a halo over their heads!
FeowFeowOriginally posted by M©+square:It might be his part to play. But cannot oversee the portion of responsibility the girl have to bear.
It is his fault. Doesn't mean she's not at fault at all.
Cheers -
Haiyah....when i always reply this way...Originally posted by FeowFeow:MC, can you PLEASE hor, give more of these replies in other threads? I don't say it as well as you do, & I always try to give this sorta reply. That although 1 party is at fault, the person posting should Not make it seem as though they're totally blameless & have a halo over their heads!
FeowFeow
People will say 'there MC goes again...always trying to discredit the poor plight the poor thread start is going thru'
then i kanna labelled.
We know that alot of the thread starters plays 'victim' most of the time and sensationalise their post until very 'ke lian' one lor.
What to do? There are bound to have people who side the 'victim'(who doesn't seem so? It's one side of the story anyway) and stat bashing the other party.
To prevent myself from being labelled
I use sacarsm! 
>
Cheers! -
It doesn't simply mean that.Originally posted by falling_stars:i think this guy simply has no more feelings for ya.....
he doesnt take your feelings into consideration whereas u are still sparing so much thought for him....
think u should let go...
Humans always try to do finger pointing, the Blame and shame game and never realise they are just trying to escape solving the stronghold and take the easy way out.
Cheers