Guy problems from the past
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Dear people,
I badly need advice as this problem has been haunting me in my head ever since.
Ok, there was this guy a year ago, he had a crush on me and I too, began developing some feelings for him.
The feelings grew and eventually, we really like each other. I am always absenting classes/late for school, but he doesn't seem to mind, well, that's what I think. He should know that too.
So the trouble begins..
There's this girl (she's my enemy, she doesn't like me, I doesn't like her) , she purposely sat close to him in class and tried to get friendly with him (funny how she isn't THAT close to him last time) I was jealous indeed and wasted a whole year staring daggers behind their backs.
The guy, of course, didn't get fresh with her. During this time, I was really hoping he knew that that girl was just trying to 'snatch' my boy from me. Oh btw, we didn't talk to each other, we just communicate with our body languages. But we understood each other perfectly.
Our classmates didn't like me and him to be together. Also, that girl and her friends has always been picking on me since sec sch days. I am a loner and of course, I suffered silently and painfully.
And now, she wants to take away my only happiness. I was really dejected and neglected my studies at the end.
Anyway, the guy didn't end up me..but, they are close together the last I saw them.
It's been a year, but I still feel very angry, upset and mostly, betrayed at how and why the guy did this to me. He should know that the girl was just trying to ruin me..sobs.
Please don't give me words like 'learn to let go'. I can't, really. Like I've said, it's been a year :/. I'm not so sure but I feel really lost and confuse that such a relationship can be ruined so easily..can anyone intepret what's going wrong here?
Btw, I gave him a note to call me if he still have feelings for me and so on. But he didn't reply
Pls also note that his friends knows that he likes me but I don't understand why he can be so fickle to let go that easily. And why does he have to be so close to my enemy? I don't know whether he and my enemy are steads now. I can't believe God gave my happiness away to my enemy -
There are more places to channel your energy to in school rather than to get too seriously upset by BGR.
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You should start learning to accept people for who they are and stop calling people your enemy?
You're moving into a much self destructive phrase if you continue to think that people around you are taking away your happiness.
Do you seriously think they dislike you?
Exactly there might be a good reason for 'the whole class and you boy's friend' to dislike you.
If one person picks on you. Maybe it's that girl's attitude problem, if a class or people around dislike you.
Then i'm afraid that the problem might start from you.
Please take a step back and look at the situation at hand.
Deal with your attitude and perspective.
I think you are really missing something, that's why it's easy for people to backstab you cos you gave them the reason to.
I see that your 'boy' is just a tool. Not the main issue here.
Take care. -
he don't like you..
as simple as that..
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Ya I know, i'm always scolding myself to wake up and tell myself that it is over..
But I still can't get over the fact that my enemy is with him..sobs I always have this image in my mind that they are together, chatting happily and so on and so forth...completely ignoring my existence (mostly refering to him) -
Erm, care to elaborate why the boy is just a tool?Originally posted by M©+square:You should start learning to accept people for who they are and stop calling people your enemy?
You're moving into a much self destructive phrase if you continue to think that people around you are taking away your happiness.
Do you seriously think they dislike you?
Exactly there might be a good reason for 'the whole class and you boy's friend' to dislike you.
If one person picks on you. Maybe it's that girl's attitude problem, if a class or people around dislike you.
Then i'm afraid that the problem might start from you.
Please take a step back and look at the situation at hand.
Deal with your attitude and perspective.
I think you are really missing something, that's why it's easy for people to backstab you cos you gave them the reason to.
I see that your 'boy' is just a tool. Not the main issue here.
Take care.
Well, my attitude..hmm, quiet and easily bullied, ya, i'm helpless like that, don't know how to fight back Scold people also can stutter. -
She is not an enemy.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Ya I know, i'm always scolding myself to wake up and tell myself that it is over..
But I still can't get over the fact that my enemy is with him..sobs I always have this image in my mind that they are together, chatting happily and so on and so forth...completely ignoring my existence (mostly refering to him)
He is not yours anymore.
Those are things you need to learn. -
Maybe your 'enemy' is a much better friend to be with and much enjoyable?Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Ya I know, i'm always scolding myself to wake up and tell myself that it is over..
But I still can't get over the fact that my enemy is with him..sobs I always have this image in my mind that they are together, chatting happily and so on and so forth...completely ignoring my existence (mostly refering to him)
Can you change yourself to allow others also to approach you in this matter?
Which they can see you as a positive and girl who can make a good friend? -
Why must you know how to fight back?Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Erm, care to elaborate why the boy is just a tool?
Well, my attitude..hmm, quiet and easily bullied, ya, i'm helpless like that, don't know how to fight back Scold people also can stutter.
Why must you scold people?
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Erm why?Originally posted by Nelstar:Why must you know how to fight back?
Why must you scold people?
What if i'm just minding my own business in class and he/she just pick on me for no reason? (you know some bo liao ppl like to do that for no reason ) -
Just smile and ignore.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Erm why?
What if i'm just minding my own business in class and he/she just pick on me for no reason? (you know some bo liao ppl like to do that for no reason )
If I have to fight back with every stupid customer in my store then I'll be removed from my supervisor post and also sacked in the process.
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And when I tried to look good/pretty. People that are close to me don't dare to look at my face, like as if I've transformed into a monster..don't like the changes
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Why would people be picking on you for no reason?Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Erm why?
What if i'm just minding my own business in class and he/she just pick on me for no reason? (you know some bo liao ppl like to do that for no reason )
Why? -
lolx, ignore?Originally posted by Nelstar:Just smile and ignore.
If I have to fight back with every stupid customer in my store then I'll be removed from my supervisor post and also sacked in the process.
I've been ignoring this girl when she started picking on me and now, she thinks i'm a sitting duck and spread rumours that i'm an east target -
Don't try to look good then. The natural you might be nicer.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:And when I tried to look good/pretty. People that are close to me don't dare to look at my face, like as if I've transformed into a monster..don't like the changes
You're probably making a mess when you try. -
Then just smile and ignore.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:lolx, ignore?
I've been ignoring this girl when she started picking on me and now, she thinks i'm a sitting duck and spread rumours that i'm an east target
I don't find it hard to smile and ignore. -
why..I also don't know why?Originally posted by M©+square:Why would people be picking on you for no reason?
Why?
Cause i'm quiet? Easy to push around? I go to school just to study and get results. The ones that pick on me are the ones that always sleep in class.
Girls with looks are easily forgive when they make mistakes. Girl without, well, they are not and easily bullied and remembered their mistakes for life -
Highlight the problem to your teachers.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:why..I also don't know why?
Cause i'm quiet? Easy to push around? I go to school just to study and get results. The ones that pick on me are the ones that always sleep in class.
Girls with looks are easily forgive when they make mistakes. Girl without, well, they are not and easily bullied and remembered their mistakes for life
I don't see why you should take everything into your own hands. -
I understand these experiences. I remembered when i was boycotted by my guyfriends because one bad mouthed about me.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:why..I also don't know why?
Cause i'm quiet? Easy to push around? I go to school just to study and get results. The ones that pick on me are the ones that always sleep in class.
Girls with looks are easily forgive when they make mistakes. Girl without, well, they are not and easily bullied and remembered their mistakes for life
It felt really miserable. All my friends didn't dare talk to you or didn't want to.
But life goes on.
Do what you should do - study and mind you own business.
Think positive - Learn to respond firmly and sensibly.
I know how it feels when no one stands beside you.
But these are the times when you should learn how to adapt and learn to strive on your own.
Hopefully some worthy friends will come along the way and pick ya up at the latter part of your life.
For now, stay strong.
Take Care. -
Maybe you should watch Tong xing yuan. And learn some things from Fyn. Dont be a gao Ji mei.
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The more you allow people to affect you, the more you're playing into their hands and giving them satisfaction.
One year is enough time and energy wasted on people who don't care about you.
I think you know what you're doing is wrong but are not strong enough to stop indulging in self-pity. Self pity feels perversely good, to always be the victim, always misunderstood, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
Perhaps you need distractions like new hobbies to occupy your time, or spend more time with friends and people who appreciate you.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Please don't give me words like 'learn to let go'. I can't, really. Like I've said, it's been a year :/. I'm not so sure but I feel really lost and confuse that such a relationship can be ruined so easily..can anyone intepret what's going wrong here? -
hahaha from what u hae written, the 1st thing that struck me was... how old are you? i mean such things only happen in secondary schools so dont worry too much, once you get out of there, you'll realise that the world is so much bigger than what i think it is.
for now, concentrate on your studies. better all your so called enimies in terms of grades. this is the only thing that they cannot fight back. as for that guy... well, i guess u've made him wait too long and therefore i thought that u are not interested in him and therefore have given u up... it's not that he is fickle... it's just that it is hard and painful to maintain unrequited love... he had most probably burned out all the passion he had for you and thought that there is no future between you and him. hmm... and you mentioned it's a crush right? hahaha.. well... you know... crushes are infatuation.. haha they are meant to come and go if the opportunity passes.
for now, look forward, concentrate on your studies. being smart, good in studies and looking confident are some traits that will attract guys
... don't despair, there are plenty out there. be happy =) -
ugly mean ugly
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Grl, ask yourself. For what he's doing, is he really right and the best for you?
In BGR, b4 it becomes steads, it's always a test and an eye-opener of the other's behavior, character and personality. Does his actions "protect" you from hurt or harm? In a short span of time and under the lure of another grl, the guy switching just tells you he's not the steady type. As for yr competition, don't expect her to hang on to the guy for long once your interest in him dies and chances are he'll find another to switch to - maybe focus back to you which I suggest you should ignore.
If the thought of them and what they do brings the ugliness out in you, I'm sure when you look in the mirror, you're not going to see the goodness in you. Slowly, you'll see a jealous person.
Letting go is hard but clinging on to something that does not favor you just makes life a more intense struggle and pain. You don't have to go through life that way. Just have none of it and divert your mind, interest on other things that make you feel good and happy. There're so many things out there when we divert our minds and interests to can make us feel good and happy.
The more you feel good and happy everyday, the more you'll see that side of you in the mirror everyday and the more people around you will notice.
Just as the more you feel miserable and jealous everyday, the more you'll see that side of you everyday and the more people around you will notice.
Let no one change you (you'll just get transformed into a jealousy monster). Change them instead with your exuberance, confidence, positiveness, smile, cheerfulness, peacefulness, gentleness, etc.
Sorri so chiong hei. Hope it helps. -
you have happiness within yourself and in your own hands and you didn't see it.
Do not depend on others for your happiness.
Whatever it was, it never started, so don't get worked up over something that never existed. If you are angry cause another person (someone you did not like) got the guy, then you need to know that this will keep happening and how many times can you stay angry and lose time, energy over something that you have no control over and get jealous about it.
For whatever it is, perhaps you should be grateful you never started any r/s with the guy.