Guy problems from the past
-
Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:
Don't assume that people can read your mind or you'll be in for many nasty surprises in the future
Dear people,
I badly need advice as this problem has been haunting me in my head ever since.
Ok, there was this guy a year ago, he had a crush on me and I too, began developing some feelings for him.
The feelings grew and eventually, we really like each other. I am always absenting classes/late for school, but[b]he doesn't seem to mind, well, that's what I think. He should know that too.
So the trouble begins..
There's this girl (she's my enemy, she doesn't like me, I doesn't like her) , she purposely sat close to him in class and tried to get friendly with him (funny how she isn't THAT close to him last time) I was jealous indeed and wasted a whole year staring daggers behind their backs.
The guy, of course, didn't get fresh with her. During this time, I was really hoping he knew that that girl was just trying to 'snatch' my boy from me. Oh btw, we didn't talk to each other, we just communicate with our body languages. But we understood each other perfectly.
Our classmates didn't like me and him to be together. Also, that girl and her friends has always been picking on me since sec sch days. I am a loner and of course, I suffered silently and painfully.
And now, she wants to take away my only happiness. I was really dejected and neglected my studies at the end.
Anyway, the guy didn't end up me..but, they are close together the last I saw them.
It's been a year, but I still feel very angry, upset and mostly, betrayed at how and why the guy did this to me. He should know that the girl was just trying to ruin me..sobs.
Please don't give me words like 'learn to let go'. I can't, really. Like I've said, it's been a year :/. I'm not so sure but I feel really lost and confuse that such a relationship can be ruined so easily..can anyone intepret what's going wrong here?
Btw, I gave him a note to call me if he still have feelings for me and so on. But he didn't reply
Pls also note that his friends knows that he likes me but I don't understand why he can be so fickle to let go that easily. And why does he have to be so close to my enemy? I don't know whether he and my enemy are steads now. I can't believe God gave my happiness away to my enemy [/b]
-
Hi people, keep the comments coming. Playing the victim just feels sooo good sometimes but I just realise i'm forever trapped in an unhappy world that I've self-created in my mind. That's why I came in here to ask for advice on how NOT to think of the unhappy past and letting myself self-destruct.
But it feels so hard sometimes because I have very low self-esteem I wonder why does my mind works this way? 
-
Hmm..ya, I forgot to add that, he likes to bio me during the classes free time. And whenever I got a new hairstyle, he's the first to notice and gave a silly grin on his face.Originally posted by pie:Don't assume that people can read your mind or you'll be in for many nasty surprises in the future -
Please!
No one likes negative, energy sapping people.
Your self pity is overwhelming and frankly I hate to be a crutch for any such people if they refuse to get off and get going. No one has the time to always make you feel good.
Usually i do advice but I see you had consistently report small issues that you seem to enjoy creating for yourself.. you are just enjoying the attention. -
friends do that also and lots of people do that in my office.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Hmm..ya, I forgot to add that, he likes to bio me during the classes free time. And whenever I got a new hairstyle, he's the first to notice and gave a silly grin on his face.
Does it mean all of them actually are in love with me? -
How to change it?Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Hi people, keep the comments coming. Playing the victim just feels sooo good sometimes but I just realise i'm forever trapped in an unhappy world that I've self-created in my mind. That's why I came in here to ask for advice on how NOT to think of the unhappy past and letting myself self-destruct.
But it feels so hard sometimes because I have very low self-esteem I wonder why does my mind works this way?
Think of the good things and forget the bad ones. -
Originally posted by mistyblue:Please!
No one likes negative, energy sapping people.
Your self pity is overwhelming and frankly I hate to be a crutch for any such people if they refuse to get off and get going. No one has the time to always make you feel good.
Usually i do advice but I see you had consistently report small issues that you seem to enjoy creating for yourself.. you are just enjoying the attention.
I'm not enjoying the attention, i'm just trying to vent my negative energies in this forum. That's what aunt agony for, ya?
I know..I seemed to have a perchant for advices 'cause I need to read them to numb the pain that is ongoing in my mind. Or maybe, I just had too much free time to dwell on them -
Huh? but in my passage, I've already said,Originally posted by mistyblue:friends do that also and lots of people do that in my office.
Does it mean all of them actually are in love with me?
that his friends knows that he likes me. -
Haha....let her be for awhile.Originally posted by mistyblue:Please!
No one likes negative, energy sapping people.
Your self pity is overwhelming and frankly I hate to be a crutch for any such people if they refuse to get off and get going. No one has the time to always make you feel good.
Usually i do advice but I see you had consistently report small issues that you seem to enjoy creating for yourself.. you are just enjoying the attention.
Cheers -
It's ok to vent your frustration in a public forum, but be aware that there are others who will be on the receiving end when they try to help you.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:
I'm not enjoying the attention, i'm just trying to vent my negative energies in this forum. That's what aunt agony for, ya?
I know..I seemed to have a perchant for advices 'cause I need to read them to numb the pain that is ongoing in my mind. Or maybe, I just had too much free time to dwell on them
Of course, we got to keep an open mind when we're trying to help.
Not everything in this world goes in your way and it applies to all.
-
So? Like you very big deal? Cannot change his mind meh?Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Huh? but in my passage, I've already said,
that his friends knows that he likes me. -
Originally posted by M©+square:Haha....let her be for awhile.
Cheers
I don't like to waste time and to be made a fool just for someone's pleasure 
-
So right man! Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose and sometimes its a draw.Originally posted by Nelstar:It's ok to vent your frustration in a public forum, but be aware that there are others who will be on the receiving end when they try to help you.
Of course, we got to keep an open mind when we're trying to help.
Not everything in this world goes in your way and it applies to all. -
Dear Mistyblue,
I wonder what's wrong with you for making such a remark that i'm fooling with you?
You did not experience what i'm going through, you will not understand. Yes, I do accept criticism, cause it may wake me up from my self-pity mode.
I wrote out different problems in AA, in contrast to what's bothering in my mind. In fact, I feel very heavy around my chest area..guilt/regret/remorse from past experiences?
To All,
This is what bothering me,
If you ever see me in person, you will be wondering what is wrong with me? Why is her face always so black?
People always tell me, what's bothering me? why is my face always looks so worried and sad?
In my mind, I wasn't thinking of anything, maybe it's my unhappy past/experiences that subconsciously molded my facial expression into this way.
I also tend to find faults in people, I don't know why. I hate whiners too, so I try not to complain so much.
What are the cause of my loss of confidence level?
Maybe cause i'm not good-looking enough, people don't want to take an effort to smile at me or at first sight, they think i'm some stupid/clumsy person. Which is the true, I tend to shiver when I get nervous...very embarrassing. I do smile back at people, but they just ignore me? I wonder why...
Or maybe i'm not academically inclined, just average or below-average, no achievements to speak of.
Or maybe, I didn't like how my family is so incomplete and how, whenever there's a relative gathering, everyone seems so sombre and disgusted when they see me and my sister. Like they look down on us, cause they are better or maybe, they are very close to each other. (My father is estrangled from them, I don't like my father, he likes to talk bad about me behind my back to them, but that's not all, he likes to embarrass me in public..like i'm just a tool for him to vent )
Lastly, from young till now, i'm always the one USED for strengthening relatinships between people..for example, two or more people will pick/bully me so that their own bonds will be strengthen. After that, they will discard me after their bonds hold steady, like i'm just a useless toy
My friends, classmates, strangers and even my own family, does that to me.. -
Allo.....that's precisely why i ask you to change your attitude and perspective.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Dear Mistyblue,
I wonder what's wrong with you for making such a remark that i'm fooling with you?
You did not experience what i'm going through, you will not understand. Yes, I do accept criticism, cause it may wake me up from my self-pity mode.
I wrote out different problems in AA, in contrast to what's bothering in my mind. In fact, I feel very heavy around my chest area..guilt/regret/remorse from past experiences?
To All,
This is what bothering me,
If you ever see me in person, you will be wondering what is wrong with me? Why is her face always so black?
People always tell me, what's bothering me? why is my face always looks so worried and sad?
In my mind, I wasn't thinking of anything, maybe it's my unhappy past/experiences that subconsciously molded my facial expression into this way.
I also tend to find faults in people, I don't know why. I hate whiners too, so I try not to complain so much.
What are the cause of my loss of confidence level?
Maybe cause i'm not good-looking enough, people don't want to take an effort to smile at me or at first sight, they think i'm some stupid/clumsy person. Which is the true, I tend to shiver when I get nervous...very embarrassing. I do smile back at people, but they just ignore me? I wonder why...
Or maybe i'm not academically inclined, just average or below-average, no achievements to speak of.
Or maybe, I didn't like how my family is so incomplete and how, whenever there's a relative gathering, everyone seems so sombre and disgusted when they see me and my sister. Like they look down on us, cause they are better or maybe, they are very close to each other. (My father is estrangled from them, I don't like my father, he likes to talk bad about me behind my back to them, but that's not all, he likes to embarrass me in public..like i'm just a tool for him to vent )
Lastly, from young till now, i'm always the one USED for strengthening relatinships between people..for example, two or more people will pick/bully me so that their own bonds will be strengthen. After that, they will discard me after their bonds hold steady, like i'm just a useless toy
My friends, classmates, strangers and even my own family, does that to me..
My post ain't there for nothing.
Cheers -
The achievement in life is not how others measured your life's worth but how you measured your own.Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Dear Mistyblue,
I wonder what's wrong with you for making such a remark that i'm fooling with you?
You did not experience what i'm going through, you will not understand. Yes, I do accept criticism, cause it may wake me up from my self-pity mode.
I wrote out different problems in AA, in contrast to what's bothering in my mind. In fact, I feel very heavy around my chest area..guilt/regret/remorse from past experiences?
To All,
This is what bothering me,
If you ever see me in person, you will be wondering what is wrong with me? Why is her face always so black?
People always tell me, what's bothering me? why is my face always looks so worried and sad?
In my mind, I wasn't thinking of anything, maybe it's my unhappy past/experiences that subconsciously molded my facial expression into this way.
I also tend to find faults in people, I don't know why. I hate whiners too, so I try not to complain so much.
What are the cause of my loss of confidence level?
Maybe cause i'm not good-looking enough, people don't want to take an effort to smile at me or at first sight, they think i'm some stupid/clumsy person. Which is the true, I tend to shiver when I get nervous...very embarrassing. I do smile back at people, but they just ignore me? I wonder why...
Or maybe i'm not academically inclined, just average or below-average, no achievements to speak of.
Or maybe, I didn't like how my family is so incomplete and how, whenever there's a relative gathering, everyone seems so sombre and disgusted when they see me and my sister. Like they look down on us, cause they are better or maybe, they are very close to each other. (My father is estrangled from them, I don't like my father, he likes to talk bad about me behind my back to them, but that's not all, he likes to embarrass me in public..like i'm just a tool for him to vent )
Lastly, from young till now, i'm always the one USED for strengthening relatinships between people..for example, two or more people will pick/bully me so that their own bonds will be strengthen. After that, they will discard me after their bonds hold steady, like i'm just a useless toy
My friends, classmates, strangers and even my own family, does that to me..
Do not let what they say affect you, for they do not know you.
Take it easy and let it go. -
Thanks for the fast reply..
I do felt better after writing all these things out. How I did stupid things that make people upset. How i'm always disappointing myself.
I can't say I will change all of sudden, cause I dun have enough self love.
But I might come back to this thread to remain myself not to think negatively. -
Take care yeah?Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Thanks for the fast reply..
I do felt better after writing all these things out. How I did stupid things that make people upset. How i'm always disappointing myself.
I can't say I will change all of sudden, cause I dun have enough self love.
But I might come back to this thread to remain myself not to think negatively.
If anything arises. Do feel free to update us on your school's condition.
And remember to update me if your attitude change or not.
Cheers -
Dun feel sad becoz of ppl who wun feel sad over U...
-
An eye for an eye. Thats all i will say.
-
Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Dear people,
I badly need advice as this problem has been haunting me in my head ever since.
Ok, there was this guy a year ago, he had a crush on me and I too, began developing some feelings for him.
The feelings grew and eventually, we really like each other. I am always absenting classes/late for school, but he doesn't seem to mind, well, that's what I think. He should know that too.
So the trouble begins..
There's this girl (she's my enemy, she doesn't like me, I doesn't like her) , she purposely sat close to him in class and tried to get friendly with him (funny how she isn't THAT close to him last time) I was jealous indeed and wasted a whole year staring daggers behind their backs.
The guy, of course, didn't get fresh with her. During this time, I was really hoping he knew that that girl was just trying to 'snatch' my boy from me. Oh btw, we didn't talk to each other, we just communicate with our body languages. But we understood each other perfectly.
Our classmates didn't like me and him to be together. Also, that girl and her friends has always been picking on me since sec sch days. I am a loner and of course, I suffered silently and painfully.
And now, she wants to take away my only happiness. I was really dejected and neglected my studies at the end.
Anyway, the guy didn't end up me..but, they are close together the last I saw them.
It's been a year, but I still feel very angry, upset and mostly, betrayed at how and why the guy did this to me. He should know that the girl was just trying to ruin me..sobs.
Please don't give me words like 'learn to let go'. I can't, really. Like I've said, it's been a year :/. I'm not so sure but I feel really lost and confuse that such a relationship can be ruined so easily..can anyone intepret what's going wrong here?
Btw, I gave him a note to call me if he still have feelings for me and so on. But he didn't reply Pls also note that his friends knows that he likes me but I don't understand why he can be so fickle to let go that easily. And why does he have to be so close to my enemy? I don't know whether he and my enemy are steads now. I can't believe God gave my happiness away to my enemy 
You are assuming that YOUR guy, whom you have a crush on, will read you like a book? This is NOT EVEN the case for actual couple, for it often leads to miscommunication... so what makes you think that he can mind-read you? Whether he has feelings for you or not, this is still questionable. Remember that emotions can be fleeting; your intense liking for him doesn't mean he share the same intensity for you.
You are dwelling in this bottomless pit of self pity because of your constant refusal to get yourself out of your plight permanently. You tried to change what you don't feel good about yourself, but you are so conscious about how people view you. People may have look at you with an appraising eye, but does it matter? Are you allowing them the chance to judge you and with you accepting this judgment from them?
Who are these people to you? Do you ever realise that nobody have the power to harm you psychological and emotionally UNLESS you allow them to? God didn't take anything away from you - God is teaching you some important lessons in your life that will LAST you until you breathe your last on Earth.
What happened in the past and everything else will work to bring you to the lowest state in life. Your self worth is tarnished and everything becomes bleak. The reason is because you let them degenerate yourself. So what if this guy is your crush? It doesn't mean that he has the power or position to destroy your self esteem... MOREOVER, he isn't your boyfriend. All this 'sacrifice' or torment is for a lost cause.
Are you going to continue this way? By allowing others, who are supposed to be the bunch of people that makes no meaning in your life... to govern your future? Look... these are the people whom want you to fail... don't want you to improve yourself... don't want you to succeed in any ways: why are you subconsciously listening to their hidden message they already intended to spread to you?
You are accepting what others have falsely claim of you, your ability, your strength... and most important of all: your potential. And your adversary will rejoice at your foolishness because you are an easy target: your mind is easy to conquer.
You don't need the eloquence to scold people or a huge temper for deterrence - you only need a good mindset to bring yourself out of this hell hole. You need an intense emotional drive to improve yourself - try making your man regret for his decision. You got to excel beyond his every imagination and got to picture in your head, one day, when he comes chasing you... You will look at him and tell him this:
'Probably one-two years back, I may have readily agreed... but now... I don't need you anymore.'
Remember, you don't have to bow your head and walk through life - it is a choice made.
Cheers -
One Quote For You:
REMEMBERTHAT NO ONE CAN HURT YOUR FEELINGS WITHOUT YOUR COOPERATION AND WILLINGNESS.
No one can cause you to have any kind of emotional reaction without your first giving them permission to do so. You alone are responsible for your feelings and emotions. When you know what you plan to do with your life, you will not allow annoying situations to deter you from your goals for long. If you set ambitious goals for yourself and work enthusiastically toward them, you will quickly realize that you donÂ’t have time to allow petty annoyances to upset you and keep you from your objectives.
From Napoleon Hill Foundation -
excuse me. Don't balme others for whatever you choose to feel.
If you keep feeling like a loser. You will be a loser. I say you are fooling me cause I don't feel you have a real issue/reason to feel whatever you feel. Its unrequited love and nothing happened. All those "love", "dislike", "enemies" exists in your mind.
If you think and need everyone rallying around just to help you feel good, then too bad if there are people like me who do not like to rally. And again, you are using these external factors of people who are kind to you to help boost your own moral. Let me put it this way, how many times can that happen.
Little kids know that they need to stand up when they fall down and they continue life to be happy as the fall was just an event. You choose to sit there and wallow, and allowing events to deeply affect you. Even to the extend to attributing your happiness on something else other than your own responsibility and your own self. BTW, that will never happen. I know lots of ppl tell me, if I earn that much, have this and that then I'll be happy. And even when they got it, they are still never happy. And their whinning got to me. I am ruthless when it comes to getting rid of people who make my life miserable.
As I said and many repeated over and over, its your choice to feel whatever you feel. Yes, Its a Choice. -
With looks or not, you should really learn to speak for yourself...Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:why..I also don't know why?
Cause i'm quiet? Easy to push around? I go to school just to study and get results. The ones that pick on me are the ones that always sleep in class.
Girls with looks are easily forgive when they make mistakes. Girl without, well, they are not and easily bullied and remembered their mistakes for life -
Probably because you wasn't smiling at them in the 1st place...?Originally posted by Depressed...*sigh*:Dear Mistyblue,
I wonder what's wrong with you for making such a remark that i'm fooling with you?
You did not experience what i'm going through, you will not understand. Yes, I do accept criticism, cause it may wake me up from my self-pity mode.
I wrote out different problems in AA, in contrast to what's bothering in my mind. In fact, I feel very heavy around my chest area..guilt/regret/remorse from past experiences?
To All,
This is what bothering me,
If you ever see me in person, you will be wondering what is wrong with me? Why is her face always so black?
People always tell me, what's bothering me? why is my face always looks so worried and sad?
In my mind, I wasn't thinking of anything, maybe it's my unhappy past/experiences that subconsciously molded my facial expression into this way.
I also tend to find faults in people, I don't know why. I hate whiners too, so I try not to complain so much.
What are the cause of my loss of confidence level?
Maybe cause i'm not good-looking enough, people don't want to take an effort to smile at me or at first sight, they think i'm some stupid/clumsy person. Which is the true, I tend to shiver when I get nervous...very embarrassing. I do smile back at people, but they just ignore me? I wonder why...
Or maybe i'm not academically inclined, just average or below-average, no achievements to speak of.
Or maybe, I didn't like how my family is so incomplete and how, whenever there's a relative gathering, everyone seems so sombre and disgusted when they see me and my sister. Like they look down on us, cause they are better or maybe, they are very close to each other. (My father is estrangled from them, I don't like my father, he likes to talk bad about me behind my back to them, but that's not all, he likes to embarrass me in public..like i'm just a tool for him to vent )
Lastly, from young till now, i'm always the one USED for strengthening relatinships between people..for example, two or more people will pick/bully me so that their own bonds will be strengthen. After that, they will discard me after their bonds hold steady, like i'm just a useless toy
My friends, classmates, strangers and even my own family, does that to me..