She kept from me
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I'm concerned about her as she had bad mood over something and its something big because she doesnt get upset over small matters.
She didnt want to tell me and said things like its already over and didnt want to talk about it. I felt disappointed and told her I didnt want to talk to her anymore until she decides to tell me.
Some might say, if you truly care then don't force her since she didnt want to talk about it.
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Look out for other signs or find out from her close frenz...
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if she want to tell u she will and should already did....if she dun wanna tell u u force oso get nothing or a tall story to 'tat' ur mouth shut....dats my thinking lah
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sometimes its like tat..let her get over it, then she might b able to think clearly n express wat she wanna say to u...isnt tat e same for u? sometimes when u had a bad day, u jus dun wish to talk about it, when u feel better, or solved the prob already, u acutally dun mind telling others how u feel?Originally posted by riff:I'm concerned about her as she had bad mood over something and its something big because she doesnt get upset over small matters.
She didnt want to tell me and said things like its already over and didnt want to talk about it. I felt disappointed and told her I didnt want to talk to her anymore until she decides to tell me.
Some might say, if you truly care then don't force her since she didnt want to talk about it.
its okie if u felt left out..jus give her some time...it would b easier to tok when she is less 'connected' to the matter... -
I guess im just insecure. Because I felt she doesnt trust me.
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Dun tink too much lah...sometimes...gals find it hard to tok to their partners abt some personal stuff...Originally posted by riff:I guess im just insecure. Because I felt she doesnt trust me.
Haf confidence in her and Urself... -
Thx...I forgot about all these...
Originally posted by alfagal:sometimes its like tat..let her get over it, then she might b able to think clearly n express wat she wanna say to u...isnt tat e same for u? sometimes when u had a bad day, u jus dun wish to talk about it, when u feel better, or solved the prob already, u acutally dun mind telling others how u feel?
its okie if u felt left out..jus give her some time...it would b easier to tok when she is less 'connected' to the matter... -
Simple_Bear..i just tot its better to be open..its like if u dun you are stopping the progress of knowing each other better
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Open communication is essential but we all have emotions...Originally posted by riff:Simple_Bear..i just tot its better to be open..its like if u dun you are stopping the progress of knowing each other better
When emotions come into play, you need to go ard it to communicate...
If she is feeling down...juz stay with her and listen to watever she wanna say...in the meanwhile can ask her close frenz wat happens if she dun wanna tok abt it... -
yeah perhaps she still havent got over it? even though she said it was over.
didnt know i was so overwhelmed by frustration that i failed to understand people...Originally posted by Simple_Bear:Open communication is essential but we all have emotions...
When emotions come into play, you need to go ard it to communicate...
If she is feeling down...juz stay with her and listen to watever she wanna say...in the meanwhile can ask her close frenz wat happens if she dun wanna tok abt it... -
Its nt ur fault tt U fail to understand ppl...Originally posted by riff:yeah perhaps she still havent got over it? even though she said it was over.
didnt know i was so overwhelmed by frustration that i failed to understand people...
Juz do Ur best...
Juz show her tt U r concerned abt her... -
Thanks...i love you guys...
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Originally posted by riff:Thanks...i love you guys...
Good Luck dude... -
Don't overdo things.. You might just irritate her even more...Originally posted by riff:yeah perhaps she still havent got over it? even though she said it was over.
didnt know i was so overwhelmed by frustration that i failed to understand people... -
find a chance 2 hav a proper talk wif her.
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is she your gf or just a friend?Originally posted by riff:I'm concerned about her as she had bad mood over something and its something big because she doesnt get upset over small matters.
She didnt want to tell me and said things like its already over and didnt want to talk about it. I felt disappointed and told her I didnt want to talk to her anymore until she decides to tell me.
Some might say, if you truly care then don't force her since she didnt want to talk about it.
I assume is your gf lah
sounds like my gf.
trust is definitely needed in a relationship.
my gf does that to me too but I deal it with another way
when I know something is bothering my gf, initially I'll try to see if she wanna talk about it, but if she doesn't, then I'll just leave her to it but I'll always assure her that if she ever wanna talk to me about it, I'll always be there for her.
sometimes at this kind of situations, I would rather think that she need more assurance from me than to think that she dun trust me or any of that sort.
i'll just carry on having a normal conversation with her and drop a hint every now and then to assure her that you are there for her. when she cools down and feel like talking about it, she'll naturally tell you.
anyway, if she says it's over and don't wanna talk about it "ANYMORE" then just let her be. don't ever expect her to snap out of her emotions immediately after the incident is solve. she'll need time to cool down too.
be a bit more considerate towards her during this period. she needs your support more than anything else now. if you get upset with her for not wanting to tell you what's wrong, then she'll be more upset. it'll only make her feel worse. -
never feel that way towards your partner.Originally posted by riff:I guess im just insecure. Because I felt she doesnt trust me.
it's a key to separation.
just give her more time. -
Yeah I guess she needs more time..
and laosu thx for the reminder...
thx guys
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find out from her close friends
or .. hug her and ask her
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Hi Riff,
It may Not be because she intends to keep it from you forever, or that she doesn't trust you. Have you thought of the fact that this matter could cause her so much pain that she doesn't want to bring it up because it'll hurt her again?
There're times when I don't tell my guy what bothers me straightaway, & only do it after some time has pssed & I've fully gotten over it. I don't wish to tell him when I'm already upset, have him get worried & upset, AND I end up having to comfort him when I myself need the comforting & reassurance.
My guy & I have worked out an understanding regarding this. He No longer expects me to tell him things that bother me unless I start getting irritable & snappy. But if I'm just moody & need to get over something, he'll let me tell him in time, & in the meantime, give me all the support I need.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by riff:I guess im just insecure. Because I felt she doesnt trust me. -
Hi FeowFeow, thanks for sharing your experience. All the best to you and ur bf
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laosu is very good at understanding gals leh..
hehe...
just want to add a small bit..
if a gf treats u as a proper bf she will try to hide a few things cos she feels that the problem is to small or is a personal problem and she do not want u to worry...
this is not a sign of insecurity but a sign that she shows that she care for your feelings...
people always mistaken this for signs of breaking up and blames their gf for not telling and end up fighting each other...
i recomand that u read more books on relationship to understand gals behaviour much better.. -
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Thanks drx, I've got a good gf who gave me a chance to learn to understand her better and not via the verbal way. Sometimes, trying to understand someone (be it gal or guy) all you need to do is be a bit more sensitive and more observant. Especially towards your own partner.Originally posted by drx:laosu is very good at understanding gals leh..
hehe...
just want to add a small bit..
if a gf treats u as a proper bf she will try to hide a few things cos she feels that the problem is to small or is a personal problem and she do not want u to worry...
this is not a sign of insecurity but a sign that she shows that she care for your feelings...
people always mistaken this for signs of breaking up and blames their gf for not telling and end up fighting each other...
i recomand that u read more books on relationship to understand gals behaviour much better..
My gf has a more reserve character in which most of the time she will keep her own feelings and problems to herself especially if she's feeling sad or down. Maybe I'm a more sensitive person and for a good reason that I love my gf very much, it comes to me naturally that I'll sense her differences in mood almost immediately. But I have to do my part as a partner. Will still ask her if something is bothering her. If she start saying things like "it's ok, I'll deal with it" or "it's ok, it's over, I don't wanna talk about it" or "nothing lah" then I definitely got the answer that she's not ok but doesn't wish to talk about it AT THAT MOMENT. Just let her be but keep assuring her that if she ever need you around to talk..you are available. Be always supportive. -
a story to share with you people
take note of the sentence in bold
Is quite touching and in fact not much people can do it and most of the time anger will take up everything...
A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital. He died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how she was going to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this
story?
ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you
Darling".
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her. If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY
This story is really worth reading.
Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.