My Mum thinks I'm a Money Spinner
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I am a homemaker, live comfortably and have only a meagre income from my hubby. My father works and has enough to bring home. My sister only begins to work partime recently. When ever my mother needs money, she will always first ask me. I recently had paid for their booking of HDB flat. When she has money to spare, she gave it to my father. Now she asks me for money????
I am helping her to sell her flat so she can get some cash back for use (for their retirement as she wishes to tour). And she thinks I am eyeing at her money??? I just told her, you don't need to split the money, keep it for your daily expenses.
At one time, she even told me directly that the house will be given to my sis if they are both dead.
It really hurt me - I have never thought about these things. Why because, all the long I have be paying. ATm draw $100 everyday. I paid for our outings food and travelling expenses. Whenever I go to my mothers home, I buy groceries for them. Isn't that enough????
Tell me should I just die?
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you dont have to die just because of it.
take it easy. i am sure she did not mean what she said. -
no, definitely not. its not worth dying over these things
perharps try having a talk with ur mum and see if there are any misunderstandings -
if she continue to make use of u and yet be doubtful of ur care towards her, i think u shd slowly distanced urself from her and not to spend too much of ur own money on her.Originally posted by mumof2:I am a homemaker, live comfortably and have only a meagre income from my hubby. My father works and has enough to bring home. My sister only begins to work partime recently. When ever my mother needs money, she will always first ask me. I recently had paid for their booking of HDB flat. When she has money to spare, she gave it to my father. Now she asks me for money????
I am helping her to sell her flat so she can get some cash back for use (for their retirement as she wishes to tour). And she thinks I am eyeing at her money??? I just told her, you don't need to split the money, keep it for your daily expenses.
At one time, she even told me directly that the house will be given to my sis if they are both dead.
It really hurt me - I have never thought about these things. Why because, all the long I have be paying. ATm draw $100 everyday. I paid for our outings food and travelling expenses. Whenever I go to my mothers home, I buy groceries for them. Isn't that enough????
Tell me should I just die?
filial piety is not something that must be exercised just because they are ur parents. it's perfectly fine and shd be done if ur parents bring u up well and taken good care of u. but u shdn't give in to them regarding everything and at the expense of sacrificing urself, especially in ur case where ur mother obviously doesn't seem to appreciate wat u've done for her. -
greed....basic of all sufferings
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agreeOriginally posted by UandMe:if she continue to make use of u and yet be doubtful of ur care towards her, i think u shd slowly distanced urself from her and not to spend too much of ur own money on her.
filial piety is not something that must be exercised just because they are ur parents. it's perfectly fine and shd be done if ur parents bring u up well and taken good care of u. but u shdn't give in to them regarding everything and at the expense of sacrificing urself, especially in ur case where ur mother obviously doesn't seem to appreciate wat u've done for her.
UandMe has a point...the children do their part of filial piety but if the parents refuse to acknowledge it, there is no point in carrying on...u should slowly cut the distance that ur parents have to rely on u...its time they have to understand what its like without u...
~+Cheers+~
StarPuppy -
some parents are like that. my brother earns like 10k, so does his wife, they live comfortably in a terrace with a big nissan car, two kids, a maid. he only gives my mum like 300-400? I don't live at home anymore because I'm sick of the "bills are so high because of you". And " you eat our food so you should give mroe money" and "how can you give us 200, your room rental would be 400 a month and we live in a prime area"....Originally posted by mumof2:I am a homemaker, live comfortably and have only a meagre income from my hubby. My father works and has enough to bring home. My sister only begins to work partime recently. When ever my mother needs money, she will always first ask me. I recently had paid for their booking of HDB flat. When she has money to spare, she gave it to my father. Now she asks me for money????
I am helping her to sell her flat so she can get some cash back for use (for their retirement as she wishes to tour). And she thinks I am eyeing at her money??? I just told her, you don't need to split the money, keep it for your daily expenses.
At one time, she even told me directly that the house will be given to my sis if they are both dead.
It really hurt me - I have never thought about these things. Why because, all the long I have be paying. ATm draw $100 everyday. I paid for our outings food and travelling expenses. Whenever I go to my mothers home, I buy groceries for them. Isn't that enough????
Tell me should I just die?
Now that I have moved out, and give them only 100 a month, but of course it is still too little, and she demands i give more.
I have only worked for one year.
is this fair?
i give them 100 and saving like mad to get a flat. why stay with them? because i get blamed for all money problems. -
maybe yr mum didn mean it, or thinks that u r easiest to get money from...
tat happens to my ex too..her mum always gets money from her, even though her siblings earns abt the same..
i always scolds her for that, becos i tot she had done too much for the family..in the end, always quarrel...ends up being one of the reasons to break...
but its still stand for me...if u think u have so much to give, dun burden yourself too much..esp when u have siblings to share the burden...
some parents are pretty obvious in being bias...so watch out!
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y should u die? she is the typical ahsoh who hardly grasp with the true nature of a working person.
when the $$ comes easy to them, they dun realize how difficult it is for others.
my take... encourage her to take up a job to fence for herself. -
haha
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Today I am so angry because she would rather ask me for money than ask from her husband or her other daughter.
True, she has been helping to babysit my two young kids. But I provide her a monthly amount for this. On top of that, food and travelling expenses are paid by me. I don't know why she is still short of money, considering I am giving $800 last month which is more than the previous month.
Frankly, I do not care for a single cent she claims will split up (for selling her flat). All I want is to help her sell off her flat, move house and she can use the cash to support themselves. I know she mean what she said because she is very suspicious of me being helpful with selling the flat and doing the financial planning for her. The cash would probably last her 10 to 15 years, if she live prugally. I will then leave them at that.
I cried myself because how did I end up this way. Stuck at home with 2 kids and earning a miserable amount of income, and a depleted bank account. And I have to support my parents/sister. I hope to go back to work. Although after stopping for 3 and a half years, I still want to join the workforce. My hubby does not approve of my going to work.
I certainly did not feel good spending my hubby's money (he pays for my credit card bill) and provides a monthly amount. I feel like a leech and not someone earning my keeps.
My family just do not understand that even though my hubby is a businessman, does not necessarily mean that I am RICH. IF I am rich, I wouldn't be worrying now.
Tell me, if your brother-in-law is doing well, he has to support your family is it?? -
dun need die la.. my mom thinks i think she is a money spinner.
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As long as your HEART is CLEAR.Originally posted by mumof2:Today I am so angry because she would rather ask me for money than ask from her husband or her other daughter.
True, she has been helping to babysit my two young kids. But I provide her a monthly amount for this. On top of that, food and travelling expenses are paid by me. I don't know why she is still short of money, considering I am giving $800 last month which is more than the previous month.
Frankly, I do not care for a single cent she claims will split up (for selling her flat). All I want is to help her sell off her flat, move house and she can use the cash to support themselves. I know she mean what she said because she is very suspicious of me being helpful with selling the flat and doing the financial planning for her. The cash would probably last her 10 to 15 years, if she live prugally. I will then leave them at that.
I cried myself because how did I end up this way. Stuck at home with 2 kids and earning a miserable amount of income, and a depleted bank account. And I have to support my parents/sister. I hope to go back to work. Although after stopping for 3 and a half years, I still want to join the workforce. My hubby does not approve of my going to work.
I certainly did not feel good spending my hubby's money (he pays for my credit card bill) and provides a monthly amount. I feel like a leech and not someone earning my keeps.
My family just do not understand that even though my hubby is a businessman, does not necessarily mean that I am RICH. IF I am rich, I wouldn't be worrying now.
Tell me, if your brother-in-law is doing well, he has to support your family is it??
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My heart is clear.
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I don't mind that she seems to sayang my younger sister more. But it come to the point that she protected her while she is jobless for a long time and only talk about money to me when she needs it. It is not the first time she mention that the house will be my sis's. Each time they need money, I can't say no, who else can help? I think our relationship has changed alot. I feel she is responsible for not encouraging my sis to work, and hence I have to pick up the heavy burden. (She has begun working parttime recently).Originally posted by darknessfall:maybe yr mum didn mean it, or thinks that u r easiest to get money from...
tat happens to my ex too..her mum always gets money from her, even though her siblings earns abt the same..
i always scolds her for that, becos i tot she had done too much for the family..in the end, always quarrel...ends up being one of the reasons to break...
but its still stand for me...if u think u have so much to give, dun burden yourself too much..esp when u have siblings to share the burden...
some parents are pretty obvious in being bias...so watch out!
I hope she will work full time and permanent and share this burden.
Death is on my mind when I think about these but I never have the courage.
Does anyone has any suggestions to die less horribly and quickly?
Jumping down from 14th floor will result in smashed scull and scattered brain.
I hope some accident will leave me dead quickly. -
What made her treat you like this?
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I don't know. She probably thinks I'm married and have a good life and I'm always there for them financially. She does not panic when sister is jobless for many years. No matter how much I argue with her, she will side with sister.Originally posted by Suicine:What made her treat you like this? -
double standard practise is common in families..Originally posted by mumof2:I am a homemaker, live comfortably and have only a meagre income from my hubby. My father works and has enough to bring home. My sister only begins to work partime recently. When ever my mother needs money, she will always first ask me. I recently had paid for their booking of HDB flat. When she has money to spare, she gave it to my father. Now she asks me for money????
I am helping her to sell her flat so she can get some cash back for use (for their retirement as she wishes to tour). And she thinks I am eyeing at her money??? I just told her, you don't need to split the money, keep it for your daily expenses.
At one time, she even told me directly that the house will be given to my sis if they are both dead.
It really hurt me - I have never thought about these things. Why because, all the long I have be paying. ATm draw $100 everyday. I paid for our outings food and travelling expenses. Whenever I go to my mothers home, I buy groceries for them. Isn't that enough????
Tell me should I just die?
if like tt only hv to go and die..
i dunno die how many times le lor
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correct lor.Originally posted by hopy:double standard practise is common in families.
if like tt only hv to go and die.
i dunno die how many times le lor
come on not need to die for such trival matter.
my 2 sis and i are paying monthly.
bro didn't pay a single cents. My mum do repeatly telling us the flat with belong to my bro once they pass away. Same things here i am not eyeing on the flat. but somehow i was being repeatly reminded. -
True, I can only think about it and am too chicken. When you are in my shoes, you will be very frustrated.Originally posted by hopy:double standard practise is common in families..
if like tt only hv to go and die..
i dunno die how many times le lor -
Thanks for your consolation. At least you have a sis to help out. Your mum is probably leaving the flat for your brother for wedding purposes. She reckon you two will be married off.Originally posted by gmail:correct lor...
come on not need to die for such trival matter.
my sis and i are paying monthly..
elder bro didn't pay a single cents. My mum do repeatly telling us the flat with belong to my bro once they pass away. Same things here i am nt eyeing on the flat.. but somehow i was being repeatly reminded..
now i am immune of all the talk..
Thinking someday i will own my flat, so i am not worried.
I'm like the sole breadwinner of my mother's family. I don't need her flat. Just hope she can begin to be financially dependent on her hubby or her other daughter. I also hope her other daughter will be more concern and responsible enough to bring them for health checks. -
Then you should better plan for your own children and family...?Originally posted by mumof2:My heart is clear. -
I give the best for my kids, my husband plans for everything from insurance, cash flow, savings, investmemt etc. At one time, when I withdrew one grand from our joint savings as I needed the cash - he was not happy. Fyi, I am not a gambler.Originally posted by Devil1976:Then you should better plan for your own children and family...?
I do not have to worry for my children and husband. If I die, it will probably a big relieve for me. I hope some accident will happen to me and allow me to leave this world swiftly without torture. -
u shouldnt think that way..
life is precious
death cannot solve everything
will only bring about misery and pain in others -
Don't be silly. Things won't be easy for your kids and hubby.Originally posted by mumof2:I give the best for my kids, my husband plans for everything from insurance, cash flow, savings, investmemt etc. At one time, when I withdrew one grand from our joint savings as I needed the cash - he was not happy. Fyi, I am not a gambler.
I do not have to worry for my children and husband. If I die, it will probably a big relieve for me. I hope some accident will happen to me and allow me to leave this world swiftly without torture.
As for your mum and sibblings, just do what's necessary within your means. You can never reach out, devote yourself totally and wish to satisfy some people who can never be satisfied... This is just how this world is....