WORSE THAN DEATH..
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Hi..
I am a divorced guy with a child..after my divorce..i got to know my ex-gf who spent 4 happy years with me..she knew i am a father..yet she was able to be with me for this period of time..recently, we had a huge quarrel as we both had little time together due to our career..
She initiated the breakup..i was so depressed..that I cant even carry on my job..and recently..quit my job..which pays me well..about 4k a month..now jobless..and my mind..i just cant do anything..
Even though i know career is more important..i just can't stand the fact that me love is gone from me forever..i did so much for her..and it's just gone..because of her..i don't have many friends with me..maybe 2-3 whom i can talk to..that's all..
I am now feeling worse than death..no job..no companion..somemore i have to think of my child..i have nowhere to turn to now..i know i shouldnt have quit..but i just cant work anymore..
can i ask you..especially gals..will you get into a relationship with a guy if you know he has been married before and with a child? if this guy is really sincere in his love to you..and with a career..will you not mind the fact that he got a child? i am really afraid i won't be able to have another companion again.. -
your kid should be the top priority.
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u still got chance la, but the main thing u should be thinking is not love and instead of finding a job to support a child.... n with no job, no gal would be confident with u...
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kid is important -
Guys..
Thanks...i know impt to have job now..but can you imagine..the pain that i am undergoing now..how can i still work?...to learn new things..new colleagues ..but my heart is still bleeding..how to concentrate?..
is it really true that a guy with a kid..even in this era..his chances of finding a gal is almost zero..? -
try bleeding when you think that your kids have nothing to eat.Originally posted by male_1978:Guys..
Thanks...i know impt to have job now..but can you imagine..the pain that i am undergoing now..how can i still work?...to learn new things..new colleagues ..but my heart is still bleeding..how to concentrate?..
is it really true that a guy with a kid..even in this era..his chances of finding a gal is almost zero..?
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My sentiments exactly. If u can't take gd care of urself & ur child, don't bother thinking of getting some1 new into ur life. Ur child is ur responsibility, not a burden or obstacle for u to find new love. No 1 noes wat the future holds. If u ever meet some1 in future who is serious abt sharing ur life, she shld noe wat is expected of her role.Originally posted by BrUtUs:u still got chance la, but the main thing u should be thinking is not love and instead of finding a job to support a child.... n with no job, no gal would be confident with u... -
Hi.. No point feeling depress now over love issue now.. What is your priority now? Your kid or to find someone to love you? You got 2 mouths to feed.
It is definately depressing when there is a divorce and much so later your relationship with a girl ended. All these are back then.. I belief you are still young. Don just sit there and just can't stand back on your own 2 feet.. Go look for a job..
Girls.. There are many out there still.. Its just fate that you did not get the right one.. You still have your friends.. Be it 1 or 1 million.. they are still your friends whom you can talk to and such.. What about your family members? Don you think you should spend more quality time with them?
Don't just think about your love life and telling yourself to be depress.. Like i mentioned above, you have 2 mouths to feed.
Cheers
Originally posted by male_1978:Hi..
I am a divorced guy with a child..after my divorce..i got to know my ex-gf who spent 4 happy years with me..she knew i am a father..yet she was able to be with me for this period of time..recently, we had a huge quarrel as we both had little time together due to our career..
She initiated the breakup..i was so depressed..that I cant even carry on my job..and recently..quit my job..which pays me well..about 4k a month..now jobless..and my mind..i just cant do anything..
Even though i know career is more important..i just can't stand the fact that me love is gone from me forever..i did so much for her..and it's just gone..because of her..i don't have many friends with me..maybe 2-3 whom i can talk to..that's all..
I am now feeling worse than death..no job..no companion..somemore i have to think of my child..i have nowhere to turn to now..i know i shouldnt have quit..but i just cant work anymore..
can i ask you..especially gals..will you get into a relationship with a guy if you know he has been married before and with a child? if this guy is really sincere in his love to you..and with a career..will you not mind the fact that he got a child? i am really afraid i won't be able to have another companion again.. -
hi male_1978
I recently became a father myself and I am suddenly hit with the feeling that I have another burden on my hands. I fully understand how you feel now. Yes having a companion is very important to carry on with life. But in this present society, love alone cannot feed you and your child. Wouldn't it be better to put all your love into your child now? I know its a different kind of love, but just to do it. Think about your child's future, thats more important than anything else now. -
i dont think anyone has an answer to your question.Originally posted by male_1978:Guys..
Thanks...i know impt to have job now..but can you imagine..the pain that i am undergoing now..how can i still work?...to learn new things..new colleagues ..but my heart is still bleeding..how to concentrate?..
is it really true that a guy with a kid..even in this era..his chances of finding a gal is almost zero..?
are you hurt because of this particular girl or are you concerned that you wont find another companion in your life?
afterall the opinion of others does not necessarily mean anything.
look for a job for the sake of your kid. there are 1001 people out there bleeding and cannot concentrate too. but you have no choice. -
lidat called worst then death?
tat's being pandetic. since u got kid, it is ur duty to provide for ur kids. i'm sure some women will take to kids. but that is no excuse to think of them as ur burden. -
Childish... people like you with child and already enjoyed the fun of life... <- you know what I mean... and had the feeling of being loved... what more do you want?
You think you me ar? I got nth... of tis sort I mean... -
You need to get a grip and start earning money. You have hands and legs, whats stopping you? You must be a survivor. At this time, your child needs you more especially you are divorced.
Its only love problem, you should be glad you have no more relationships burden. For me, I will forever be burdened with money issues. -
Hi forummers,
Thanks for your advice..I know my priority is my child..always have been..in fact..I have never intended to wallop in depression forever..
I do have savings at the moment..which can easily tide me for quite a number of years..and of course..I am not so naive and tell myself "hey, i can sit back and relax cos i have savings to tide me through.."
But as my current job demands lots of attention..I felt that as a responsible employee and person, i shouldnt carry on when i know that i do not have the mentality to carry out my duties effectively..
I really really love her so much......I have always love my child..and i will continue to work to provide for her..but at this juncture..i really do want to take a break...........to restore my mentality........to buck myself up again...
But..at the same time..i really feel there is a 'void' in me....i really longed for companionship too..it's so lonely these days......i find happiness in loving my child.....but that is another totally different sort of happiness...the love and feeling of companionship is a totally different aspect...
Sometimes...i am just worried..that even if i concentrate on my career..and spend all my efforts on my child..there is this possibility that by the time i have 'time' to find love..there won't be any girls who want a middle age man with a child.....??
guess i have to leave it to fate?? i am 27 years old now..
just like to enquire (guys and gals here)...not trying to mean anything...is it really true that a guy with a child is a turn-off for girls? -
if ur depressed then how come ur surfing here?Originally posted by male_1978:Hi..
I am a divorced guy with a child..after my divorce..i got to know my ex-gf who spent 4 happy years with me..she knew i am a father..yet she was able to be with me for this period of time..recently, we had a huge quarrel as we both had little time together due to our career..
She initiated the breakup..i was so depressed..that I cant even carry on my job..and recently..quit my job..which pays me well..about 4k a month..now jobless..and my mind..i just cant do anything..
Even though i know career is more important..i just can't stand the fact that me love is gone from me forever..i did so much for her..and it's just gone..because of her..i don't have many friends with me..maybe 2-3 whom i can talk to..that's all..
I am now feeling worse than death..no job..no companion..somemore i have to think of my child..i have nowhere to turn to now..i know i shouldnt have quit..but i just cant work anymore..
can i ask you..especially gals..will you get into a relationship with a guy if you know he has been married before and with a child? if this guy is really sincere in his love to you..and with a career..will you not mind the fact that he got a child? i am really afraid i won't be able to have another companion again.. -
It will be a concern.. not turn off.Originally posted by male_1978:guess i have to leave it to fate?? i am 27 years old now..
just like to enquire (guys and gals here)...not trying to mean anything...is it really true that a guy with a child is a turn-off for girls?
Shld i really fall for a divorced man with kid one day, i wouldn't mind his past. All of us make mistakes but dat doesn't mean he shld be denied of happiness. Guy with kid or gal with kid (though i personally feel the ladies always have it harder).. getting divorced doesn't mark THE END.
Think positive, u'r still young, long way to go.. lots more people to meet. -
huh juz 27 only ???? I tot u 40 liao ......Originally posted by male_1978:Hi forummers,
Thanks for your advice..I know my priority is my child..always have been..in fact..I have never intended to wallop in depression forever..
I do have savings at the moment..which can easily tide me for quite a number of years..and of course..I am not so naive and tell myself "hey, i can sit back and relax cos i have savings to tide me through.."
But as my current job demands lots of attention..I felt that as a responsible employee and person, i shouldnt carry on when i know that i do not have the mentality to carry out my duties effectively..
I really really love her so much......I have always love my child..and i will continue to work to provide for her..but at this juncture..i really do want to take a break...........to restore my mentality........to buck myself up again...
But..at the same time..i really feel there is a 'void' in me....i really longed for companionship too..it's so lonely these days......i find happiness in loving my child.....but that is another totally different sort of happiness...the love and feeling of companionship is a totally different aspect...
Sometimes...i am just worried..that even if i concentrate on my career..and spend all my efforts on my child..there is this possibility that by the time i have 'time' to find love..there won't be any girls who want a middle age man with a child.....??
guess i have to leave it to fate?? i am 27 years old now..
just like to enquire (guys and gals here)...not trying to mean anything...is it really true that a guy with a child is a turn-off for girls? -
27 is middle age...?Originally posted by male_1978:Hi forummers,
Thanks for your advice..I know my priority is my child..always have been..in fact..I have never intended to wallop in depression forever..
I do have savings at the moment..which can easily tide me for quite a number of years..and of course..I am not so naive and tell myself "hey, i can sit back and relax cos i have savings to tide me through.."
But as my current job demands lots of attention..I felt that as a responsible employee and person, i shouldnt carry on when i know that i do not have the mentality to carry out my duties effectively..
I really really love her so much......I have always love my child..and i will continue to work to provide for her..but at this juncture..i really do want to take a break...........to restore my mentality........to buck myself up again...
But..at the same time..i really feel there is a 'void' in me....i really longed for companionship too..it's so lonely these days......i find happiness in loving my child.....but that is another totally different sort of happiness...the love and feeling of companionship is a totally different aspect...
Sometimes...i am just worried..that even if i concentrate on my career..and spend all my efforts on my child..there is this possibility that by the time i have 'time' to find love..there won't be any girls who want a middle age man with a child.....??
guess i have to leave it to fate?? i am 27 years old now..
just like to enquire (guys and gals here)...not trying to mean anything...is it really true that a guy with a child is a turn-off for girls?
1st of all... Not to worry... Having a daughter and being divorced before doesn't know that there won't be any girl who can accept you... You are just being oversensitive... Whether another girl can accept you or not is probably of other reasons....
If you feel that you're really all vexed up now, maybe you can have take a short break from work for the time being if you can afford to...? -
Originally posted by male_1978:Hi forummers,
Thanks for your advice..I know my priority is my child..always have been..in fact..I have never intended to wallop in depression forever..
I do have savings at the moment..which can easily tide me for quite a number of years..and of course..I am not so naive and tell myself "hey, i can sit back and relax cos i have savings to tide me through.."
But as my current job demands lots of attention..I felt that as a responsible employee and person, i shouldnt carry on when i know that i do not have the mentality to carry out my duties effectively..
I really really love her so much......I have always love my child..and i will continue to work to provide for her..but at this juncture..i really do want to take a break...........to restore my mentality........to buck myself up again...
But..at the same time..i really feel there is a 'void' in me....i really longed for companionship too..it's so lonely these days......i find happiness in loving my child.....but that is another totally different sort of happiness...the love and feeling of companionship is a totally different aspect...
Sometimes...i am just worried..that even if i concentrate on my career..and spend all my efforts on my child..there is this possibility that by the time i have 'time' to find love..there won't be any girls who want a middle age man with a child.....??
guess i have to leave it to fate?? i am 27 years old now..
just like to enquire (guys and gals here)...not trying to mean anything...is it really true that a guy with a child is a turn-off for girls?
Why did your marriage end?
P.S: 27 years old and you met your ex-gf four years back... which means you are married before the age of 23?
Cheers -
guess i have to leave it to fate?? i am 27 years old now..
You are so young....perhaps far too young to have a child. But you do and you have to face up to that responsibility.
just like to enquire (guys and gals here)...not trying to mean anything...is it really true that a guy with a child is a turn-off for girls?
A guy with a child is a turn-off for most girls. Yes it is. But a guy with a child who is jobless and lamenting that life is worse than death is a major turn-off.
When you can get hold of yourself and when others can see the confidence in you, then perhaps the girls will come, despite the child. -
it depends on individual ba...
for me... as long as i love him, i will love everything about him, even his child, i will treat as my own. -
find a job and live life positively.its nt e end of e world yet.
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Harsh it may sound, but I think you have been too selffish thinking more about your chances of finding a new companion than your child's welfare.
Remember:
1. You already have a companion, your child
2. Your child is innocent and should recieve your love and support
3. Thus get a job asap. -
you are not very 'singaporean', if you get what i mean.Originally posted by browniebaobao:it depends on individual ba...
for me... as long as i love him, i will love everything about him, even his child, i will treat as my own. -
if he 27 consider middle age ..... me 40 liao consider oldman ???Originally posted by Devil1976:27 is middle age...?
1st of all... Not to worry... Having a daughter and being divorced before doesn't know that there won't be any girl who can accept you... You are just being oversensitive... Whether another girl can accept you or not is probably of other reasons....
If you feel that you're really all vexed up now, maybe you can have take a short break from work for the time being if you can afford to...?