Falling in love with someone I shouldn't?
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Hi, I'm new here. My fren recommended me this site and I found it quite gd. Was able know about what is happening arnd the community and how ppl felt about things that are happening around us. As an individual, I too has a problem and I'm not sure how to go about handling it. Hope someone out there will be able to help me find a solution.
I'm a guy, age 18. Going to be enlisted to NS soon :X. Currently studying at a local junior college. like many other guys, I do have crushes for this gal or that gal, and they nv last long. That's besides the point. But recently, I actually started to develop 'feelings' for my maths teacher. (tml's A'lvls Maths Paper :X) Yep, U are not seeing things. I have a crush on my maths teacher. Or maybe it's more than just a crush. I dunno. She's rather young, not much older than me, quite pretty and most impt of all, she's just so nice. She's nice to everyone (my classmates) and her smile really melts my heart. Maths used to be my hack-care subject i.e. do well = gd lor, nv do well = so be it. But all this changed after I got to know her i.e. ever since I got into JC. I worked hard for maths everytime, and my results nv disappointed her. When I dun think of her as a teacher, she's actually the kinda gal that most guys would wanna treat her well and respect her. Occasionally, I try to get her attention by doing all the small little things e.g. treat her to sweets, help with things etc. And everytime she would reciprocate with a nice n gentle smile. And our relationship became more than just a teacher-student relationship. Dun get it wrong, it's just a became a even closer teacher-student relationship. haha?
But, she already had a boyfren.
Recently, I got to know her handphone number (not really a big deal, all my classmates have her no.) and started to sms her occasionally. Initially, it was about maths and school. But the sms content started to change from maths to smth else more. Like I would ask her how is she, go to bed early etc - concerns that's beyond a student. Then Lately, she seems to realise I'm not just a ordinary student and started to give me 'cold shoulder'. I dunno whether izzit just my own thinking or is it true. Close frenz tell me to stop thinking of her, but I always fail to do so. At least whenever I have her in my mind, my maths seems unstoppable i.e. in preparation for A'lvls, I nv had problems with my maths. Then again, I'm the kinda guy who believes that in order to forget someone, you have to like another. I'm really afraid I'll still be thinking of her after the A'lvls, and thru-out the course of NS.
Wad shld I do?
Btw, good luck to all those taking A'lvls! -
It's just a crush. Concentrate on your studies and you'll get over it
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How ya been girl...?Originally posted by elindra:It's just a crush. Concentrate on your studies and you'll get over it
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Love your Maths.Originally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:Hi, I'm new here. My fren recommended me this site and I found it quite gd. Was able know about what is happening arnd the community and how ppl felt about things that are happening around us. As an individual, I too has a problem and I'm not sure how to go about handling it. Hope someone out there will be able to help me find a solution.
I'm a guy, age 18. Going to be enlisted to NS soon :X. Currently studying at a local junior college. like many other guys, I do have crushes for this gal or that gal, and they nv last long. That's besides the point. But recently, I actually started to develop 'feelings' for my maths teacher. (tml's A'lvls Maths Paper :X) Yep, U are not seeing things. I have a crush on my maths teacher. Or maybe it's more than just a crush. I dunno. She's rather young, not much older than me, quite pretty and most impt of all, she's just so nice. She's nice to everyone (my classmates) and her smile really melts my heart. Maths used to be my hack-care subject i.e. do well = gd lor, nv do well = so be it. But all this changed after I got to know her i.e. ever since I got into JC. I worked hard for maths everytime, and my results nv disappointed her. When I dun think of her as a teacher, she's actually the kinda gal that most guys would wanna treat her well and respect her. Occasionally, I try to get her attention by doing all the small little things e.g. treat her to sweets, help with things etc. And everytime she would reciprocate with a nice n gentle smile. And our relationship became more than just a teacher-student relationship. Dun get it wrong, it's just a became a even closer teacher-student relationship. haha?
But, she already had a boyfren.
Recently, I got to know her handphone number (not really a big deal, all my classmates have her no.) and started to sms her occasionally. Initially, it was about maths and school. But the sms content started to change from maths to smth else more. Like I would ask her how is she, go to bed early etc - concerns that's beyond a student. Then Lately, she seems to realise I'm not just a ordinary student and started to give me 'cold shoulder'. I dunno whether izzit just my own thinking or is it true. Close frenz tell me to stop thinking of her, but I always fail to do so. At least whenever I have her in my mind, my maths seems unstoppable i.e. in preparation for A'lvls, I nv had problems with my maths. Then again, I'm the kinda guy who believes that in order to forget someone, you have to like another. I'm really afraid I'll still be thinking of her after the A'lvls, and thru-out the course of NS.
Wad shld I do?
Btw, good luck to all those taking A'lvls!
Understand that she already has a bf. Nonetheless... Don't have to think anything much about her for now... Leave the 'additional thinkings' to AFTER your 'A' levels... Come back to us again till if ya need to?
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Wah liao. Mod is thread hijackerOriginally posted by Devil1976:How ya been girl...? 
Good. What about you? -
I think u should concentrate on A-levels, romance later. Correct me if im wrong, but A-levels is the turning point in ur academic life right? To do poorly means failure to attend good universities rite? So...A-level now, then if you ace it, do whatever you want
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once your As is over,i think you can forget her..
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Hmmm....just concentrate on ur A levels first
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Ethene undergo oxidation with cold Kmno4 at rm temp den u gt ethane i-2 diol .Correct bo,,,,,,,,,
Hmm yr problem veri cheem,i feel if dere is chemistry bet u guys,love will prosper.Concentrate on yr As.gd luck -
ethene goes thru hydroxylation in alkalic KMnO4 (acidic or neutral will just cleave it) in the presence of water and u'll get a syn addition of 2 OH molecules...Originally posted by no_1_idiot:Ethene undergo oxidation with cold Kmno4 at rm temp den u gt ethane i-2 diol .Correct bo,,,,,,,,, Hmm yr problem veri cheem,i feel if dere is chemistry bet u guys,love will prosper.Concentrate on yr As.gd luck
anyway, dude... if you carry on like this, you will only be giving her more stress.. pls stop. she can't possibly fall in love with you because u are her student and MOE probably have stated clear rules for that.
concentrate on your study and worry about love later... -
Do well, enlist in the Army.ORD.Become an undergraduate and if the feeling still lives on, at least you are on much firmer moral ground.Originally posted by deathscythe99:Hmmm....just concentrate on ur A levels first -
Dear ethane-1,2-diol,Originally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:Hi, I'm new here. My fren recommended me this site and I found it quite gd. Was able know about what is happening arnd the community and how ppl felt about things that are happening around us. As an individual, I too has a problem and I'm not sure how to go about handling it. Hope someone out there will be able to help me find a solution.
I'm a guy, age 18. Going to be enlisted to NS soon :X. Currently studying at a local junior college. like many other guys, I do have crushes for this gal or that gal, and they nv last long. That's besides the point. But recently, I actually started to develop 'feelings' for my maths teacher. (tml's A'lvls Maths Paper :X) Yep, U are not seeing things. I have a crush on my maths teacher. Or maybe it's more than just a crush. I dunno. She's rather young, not much older than me, quite pretty and most impt of all, she's just so nice. She's nice to everyone (my classmates) and her smile really melts my heart. Maths used to be my hack-care subject i.e. do well = gd lor, nv do well = so be it. But all this changed after I got to know her i.e. ever since I got into JC. I worked hard for maths everytime, and my results nv disappointed her. When I dun think of her as a teacher, she's actually the kinda gal that most guys would wanna treat her well and respect her. Occasionally, I try to get her attention by doing all the small little things e.g. treat her to sweets, help with things etc. And everytime she would reciprocate with a nice n gentle smile. And our relationship became more than just a teacher-student relationship. Dun get it wrong, it's just a became a even closer teacher-student relationship. haha?
But, she already had a boyfren.
Recently, I got to know her handphone number (not really a big deal, all my classmates have her no.) and started to sms her occasionally. Initially, it was about maths and school. But the sms content started to change from maths to smth else more. Like I would ask her how is she, go to bed early etc - concerns that's beyond a student. Then Lately, she seems to realise I'm not just a ordinary student and started to give me 'cold shoulder'. I dunno whether izzit just my own thinking or is it true. Close frenz tell me to stop thinking of her, but I always fail to do so. At least whenever I have her in my mind, my maths seems unstoppable i.e. in preparation for A'lvls, I nv had problems with my maths. Then again, I'm the kinda guy who believes that in order to forget someone, you have to like another. I'm really afraid I'll still be thinking of her after the A'lvls, and thru-out the course of NS.
Wad shld I do?
Btw, good luck to all those taking A'lvls!
It's not a surprise that you fall for your teacher.
There have been cases like happening all the time.
Youths are much more sensitive to their feelings and affections.
It is rather straight forward, like what the rest have posted. It is a crush, and a rather dangerous one.
Your friends are right. You should just get things right and move on. Stop thinking about her.
There is no need to go into 'IF she doesnt have a boyfriend' factor.
Because there are so many other factors.
Let's skip this altogether.
You should really get hold of yourself and study.
The motivation is distorted.
You claim that you're the kind of guy whom in order to forget one. You have to fall for another.
Advice:
Please forsake this idea, for it will harm you in near future(relationship wise)
This ideals of liking should cease. Otherwise, you're calling for suffering to come into your life.
I hope there'll come a time in your life you'll get what i mean.
Cheers -
mc square, being a youth myself, i am interested to hear your perspective on why the idea of liking another as a way to forget the current might bring undesirable consequences to relationships.
I thought for a moment and tried to figured out the truth in your advice. Is it because that we shouldnt "like another" just for the purpose of "forgetting someone"?
And to ethan-1,2-diol, be fair to yourself and dont let yourself suffer in pursue of a futile relationship. Yeah.. futile, at least in the current sense when you are still a student and do not have anything that can make your teacher think of you as worthy partner. -
actually i agree with what mc had said. if you try to love another when your heart is actually some place else, it would be really unfair to you new love wouldnt it? what if after some time into your new relationship and u find that u cant actually forget the 'crush' or the person u were trying to forget? what happens next? stay with the current 'replacement lover' or to leave her telling her actually she is not in your heart all along? isnt this the path of destruction? you single handedly made 2 plp suffer.Originally posted by Ray87:mc square, being a youth myself, i am interested to hear your perspective on why the idea of liking another as a way to forget the current might bring undesirable consequences to relationships.
I thought for a moment and tried to figured out the truth in your advice. Is it because that we shouldnt "like another" just for the purpose of "forgetting someone"?
And to ethan-1,2-diol, be fair to yourself and dont let yourself suffer in pursue of a futile relationship. Yeah.. futile, at least in the current sense when you are still a student and do not have anything that can make your teacher think of you as worthy partner. -
she will just be another person who enters your life and out of it soon. It is plain and simple. She treats u as a student. maybe as a friend, but nothing more than that.
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There are only two ways I can see this go. Either you get to sleep with her (which is not the case here ) or flunk your maths.
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Haha say until so obscene.Originally posted by highway69:There are only two ways I can see this go. Either you get to sleep with her (which is not the case here ) or flunk your maths. -
What a predicamentOriginally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:Hi, I'm new here. My fren recommended me this site and I found it quite gd. Was able know about what is happening arnd the community and how ppl felt about things that are happening around us. As an individual, I too has a problem and I'm not sure how to go about handling it. Hope someone out there will be able to help me find a solution.
I'm a guy, age 18. Going to be enlisted to NS soon :X. Currently studying at a local junior college. like many other guys, I do have crushes for this gal or that gal, and they nv last long. That's besides the point. But recently, I actually started to develop 'feelings' for my maths teacher. (tml's A'lvls Maths Paper :X) Yep, U are not seeing things. I have a crush on my maths teacher. Or maybe it's more than just a crush. I dunno. She's rather young, not much older than me, quite pretty and most impt of all, she's just so nice. She's nice to everyone (my classmates) and her smile really melts my heart. Maths used to be my hack-care subject i.e. do well = gd lor, nv do well = so be it. But all this changed after I got to know her i.e. ever since I got into JC. I worked hard for maths everytime, and my results nv disappointed her. When I dun think of her as a teacher, she's actually the kinda gal that most guys would wanna treat her well and respect her. Occasionally, I try to get her attention by doing all the small little things e.g. treat her to sweets, help with things etc. And everytime she would reciprocate with a nice n gentle smile. And our relationship became more than just a teacher-student relationship. Dun get it wrong, it's just a became a even closer teacher-student relationship. haha?
But, she already had a boyfren.
Recently, I got to know her handphone number (not really a big deal, all my classmates have her no.) and started to sms her occasionally. Initially, it was about maths and school. But the sms content started to change from maths to smth else more. Like I would ask her how is she, go to bed early etc - concerns that's beyond a student. Then Lately, she seems to realise I'm not just a ordinary student and started to give me 'cold shoulder'. I dunno whether izzit just my own thinking or is it true. Close frenz tell me to stop thinking of her, but I always fail to do so. At least whenever I have her in my mind, my maths seems unstoppable i.e. in preparation for A'lvls, I nv had problems with my maths. Then again, I'm the kinda guy who believes that in order to forget someone, you have to like another. I'm really afraid I'll still be thinking of her after the A'lvls, and thru-out the course of NS.
Wad shld I do?
Btw, good luck to all those taking A'lvls! -
it's v normal to have a crush on ur teacher.
but it's not normal to send those smses to ur teacher leh.. stop doing that ba.. u might get her into unnecessary trouble. -
x2.Originally posted by M©+square:You claim that you're the kind of guy whom in order to forget one. You have to fall for another. Advice:
Please forsake this idea, for it will harm you in near future(relationship wise)
This ideals of liking should cease. Otherwise, you're calling for suffering to come into your life.
I hope there'll come a time in your life you'll get what i mean.
Cheers
if u mean getting a substitute in order to forget someone, then it's a mistake. U might end up hurting that girl and urself. Besides, it's a very selfish act. -
Study first lah. Go Uni, plenty to choose from. Just keep her as a friend lor. What happens in the future no one knows.
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Originally posted by Ray87:mc square, being a youth myself, i am interested to hear your perspective on why the idea of liking another as a way to forget the current might bring undesirable consequences to relationships.
I thought for a moment and tried to figured out the truth in your advice. Is it because that we shouldnt "like another" just for the purpose of "forgetting someone"?
And to ethan-1,2-diol, be fair to yourself and dont let yourself suffer in pursue of a futile relationship. Yeah.. futile, at least in the current sense when you are still a student and do not have anything that can make your teacher think of you as worthy partner.Originally posted by dibilo:actually i agree with what mc had said. if you try to love another when your heart is actually some place else, it would be really unfair to you new love wouldnt it? what if after some time into your new relationship and u find that u cant actually forget the 'crush' or the person u were trying to forget? what happens next? stay with the current 'replacement lover' or to leave her telling her actually she is not in your heart all along? isnt this the path of destruction? you single handedly made 2 plp suffer.
To dibilo and BBB, somehow have caught the core reason for it. Thanks guys for contributing.Originally posted by browniebaobao:x2.
if u mean getting a substitute in order to forget someone, then it's a mistake. U might end up hurting that girl and urself. Besides, it's a very selfish act.
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To Ray87:
[[Question: How would you like it if your gf one day tells you, that she went into a r/s with you just because she wish to forget about her ex?]]
- Mirror
[[Question 2: If the new girl you've gotten cannot help you forget the past, will you pass her up and look for another to 'save' from your past?]]
To expound on it (new love seeker syndrome)
1 - Motive (Self reflection)
2 - Closure (Self)
3 - Cycle (People and self)
4 - Excess Bagguage (People and self)
If this topic we're discussing on regards love as the motivation in a relationship. 1 Then what will subsituation become?
The fault lies in the motive behind getting a new partner.
'to forget the past'
Though it might work with some people. That having new love, he/she could be released from former hurts and pains.
Like what BBB and dibilo mentioned. It is a very selfish act, unfair to self and the new partner.
But if the rest of us have the same mindset, we will all be threading on dangerous grounds. Why? (see point 2)
We must always learn the values of being in a relationship, count the cost of commiting into one.
if you can answer the above two questions, then you don't have to read further. 2 We learn to escape from closure. We dare not face the failures and setback before us.
People who cannot set themselves apart from their past will suffer in later part of their lives.
There are too many regrets and things undone. Man cannot turn back time and undo those which he regretted, but to live with it.
There are two kinds of people who can live with it. Namely:
- the Hard-heartened(through experience)
- the Unlearned.
People who escapes from closure mostly have low self esteem and falls into depression easier.
They see failure as a huge part of their lives. Self pity and attention seeking sets in.
Because likely these people who does not like to 'close doors behind them before open the one in front' are to practise it in every part of their lives. Work, family, money, private life.
They can't help but to leave things hanging around (to point 3)
End product: Who's going to suffer? 3 These will bring us to the a vicious cycle.
When everyone in a particular social circle embraces in the 'new love seeker syndrome'
Everyone will be hurt. Either party will run away and seek a new lover so to forget the last one, and so on.
The end. The particular social circle will be a miserable group. 4 When in your heart. You're not convinced that the past relationship is over. It is most likely not.
If your new love is right in front of you and you think you should give it a shot, because you felt it's the right time (with correct motivation).
Then the present relationship is yours to build and cherish.
If you doubt yourself in the present relationship in terms of dealing with Past and present. The 'ghost'(hypothetical) of former relationship haunts you...
Then it's Excess Bagguage.
It'll weigh down the person and partner as well.
As much as your partner wants to help you out of your sufferings, she/he feels tired and doubts her/his own ability in the r/s. Ultimately, will think if 'you have truly loved him/her before'.
Time will tell if that relationship will last.
Excess bagguage's potent damage is >>> long term emotional drag, communication breakdown, emotional obligation, empathy and fatigue. To be crude... to forget about past relationships' is an excuse.
How this idea came about was a distubing concept altogether.
It is a irresponsible behaviour. But no matter what, the one suffering is self.
These category of people will take a longer time to learn what love is.
All depends on the degree of condition of mindset.
Am i trying to make it sound scary like a psycho thingy? Nope, the theory isn't scary, the people who have the traits of those 4 points in.
Close the door behind and walk ahead to the door in front. Learn what you've experienced and do it better when you open the next door.
MC -
What Makes A Successful Relationship? - Click here
Yun and co. made a few good points on this thread. -
Dear Ethane,
At your age (how I wish I was this young again!), it's common to form an attachment to an attractive teacher, you're Not alone. Based on what you've written, I get the feeling you know that it ultimately is Not likely to work out. You'll be going to NS soon, & during that time, you're likely to be so tired, your tutor will probably be the last thing on your mind
So relax, this infatutation is Not likely to break your heart.
However, at the present moment, DO use this infatuation as a motivation for you to score well in your A's. What do you hafta lose?
When you're in uni, there'll be many attractive & nice girls. I think you know what I'm driving at by now : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:Hi, I'm new here. My fren recommended me this site and I found it quite gd. Was able know about what is happening arnd the community and how ppl felt about things that are happening around us. As an individual, I too has a problem and I'm not sure how to go about handling it. Hope someone out there will be able to help me find a solution.
I'm a guy, age 18. Going to be enlisted to NS soon :X. Currently studying at a local junior college. like many other guys, I do have crushes for this gal or that gal, and they nv last long. That's besides the point. But recently, I actually started to develop 'feelings' for my maths teacher. (tml's A'lvls Maths Paper :X) Yep, U are not seeing things. I have a crush on my maths teacher. Or maybe it's more than just a crush. I dunno. She's rather young, not much older than me, quite pretty and most impt of all, she's just so nice. She's nice to everyone (my classmates) and her smile really melts my heart. Maths used to be my hack-care subject i.e. do well = gd lor, nv do well = so be it. But all this changed after I got to know her i.e. ever since I got into JC. I worked hard for maths everytime, and my results nv disappointed her. When I dun think of her as a teacher, she's actually the kinda gal that most guys would wanna treat her well and respect her. Occasionally, I try to get her attention by doing all the small little things e.g. treat her to sweets, help with things etc. And everytime she would reciprocate with a nice n gentle smile. And our relationship became more than just a teacher-student relationship. Dun get it wrong, it's just a became a even closer teacher-student relationship. haha?
But, she already had a boyfren.
Recently, I got to know her handphone number (not really a big deal, all my classmates have her no.) and started to sms her occasionally. Initially, it was about maths and school. But the sms content started to change from maths to smth else more. Like I would ask her how is she, go to bed early etc - concerns that's beyond a student. Then Lately, she seems to realise I'm not just a ordinary student and started to give me 'cold shoulder'. I dunno whether izzit just my own thinking or is it true. Close frenz tell me to stop thinking of her, but I always fail to do so. At least whenever I have her in my mind, my maths seems unstoppable i.e. in preparation for A'lvls, I nv had problems with my maths. Then again, I'm the kinda guy who believes that in order to forget someone, you have to like another. I'm really afraid I'll still be thinking of her after the A'lvls, and thru-out the course of NS.
Wad shld I do?
Btw, good luck to all those taking A'lvls!