Falling in love with someone I shouldn't?
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Ray87,
I don't use theory, because I don't know theory
But let's give you a real life example involving yourself. If a girl liked you, in order to forget somebody whom she's loved from afar, & 1 day, she finds out that No matter how fond she is of you, you'll never be able to replace that person whom she sought so desperately to replace?
Let's say you'd fallen deeply in love with her by then, & hoped to marry her. How would you feel?
To me, there's a risk of "residual feelings" that can't be gotten rid of just because you've found someone else to like.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Ray87:mc square, being a youth myself, i am interested to hear your perspective on why the idea of liking another as a way to forget the current might bring undesirable consequences to relationships.
I thought for a moment and tried to figured out the truth in your advice. Is it because that we shouldnt "like another" just for the purpose of "forgetting someone"?
And to ethan-1,2-diol, be fair to yourself and dont let yourself suffer in pursue of a futile relationship. Yeah.. futile, at least in the current sense when you are still a student and do not have anything that can make your teacher think of you as worthy partner. -
forgetaboutit boy... u just have a crush on your teacher la... concentrate on your school stuff and stay away from your teacher... she has a bf so that makes it even no chance... stay away or else shes gonna call your mum...
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Okie lah... So so... Not hijack lah... Just 'hihi'....Originally posted by elindra:Wah liao. Mod is thread hijacker
Good. What about you? -
erm, boy ah, please do not land your teacher into trouble. you dunno wad a teacher will face if this thing blows up yah??
like wad many before me have said, this feeling for your teacher will go no where. you have to firmly tell yourself to let go. sure, you can let yourself think about her once in a while. mob over it even. but there is nothing you can or should do about her.
study hard, get into a good uni course and i'm sure you'll find your happiness where it really belongs. -
M©+square, I'm bbb la. U miss BBB too much isit?
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FeowFeowOriginally posted by starblue:erm, boy ah, please do not land your teacher into trouble. you dunno wad a teacher will face if this thing blows up yah??
like wad many before me have said, this feeling for your teacher will go no where. you have to firmly tell yourself to let go. sure, you can let yourself think about her once in a while. mob over it even. but there is nothing you can or should do about her.
study hard, get into a good uni course and i'm sure you'll find your happiness where it really belongs. -
to mcsq, and feowfeow, thanks for the replies, they were insightful. Actually, i was about to fall into this vicious cycle of escapism, without actually knowing that it isnt a solution and has some severe consequences.
Today's exam was math. I guess ethan-1,2-diol has had an easy time. -
u are treading in dangerous water.... i was in similar situation, only that my date is from my school.... coz u are in a position of taking A levels, n after As u go NS super sian nothing much to do only will think of girls and having dates... if u are having relationship problems... ur ns will be very tough... mind thinking of girl and still have to go thru super tough physical training... my friend who broke up with his gf b4 NS, broke down half way during NS and he's a bit psycho ever since.Originally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:Hi, I'm new here. My fren recommended me this site and I found it quite gd. Was able know about what is happening arnd the community and how ppl felt about things that are happening around us. As an individual, I too has a problem and I'm not sure how to go about handling it. Hope someone out there will be able to help me find a solution.
I'm a guy, age 18. Going to be enlisted to NS soon :X. Currently studying at a local junior college. like many other guys, I do have crushes for this gal or that gal, and they nv last long. That's besides the point. But recently, I actually started to develop 'feelings' for my maths teacher. (tml's A'lvls Maths Paper :X) Yep, U are not seeing things. I have a crush on my maths teacher. Or maybe it's more than just a crush. I dunno. She's rather young, not much older than me, quite pretty and most impt of all, she's just so nice. She's nice to everyone (my classmates) and her smile really melts my heart. Maths used to be my hack-care subject i.e. do well = gd lor, nv do well = so be it. But all this changed after I got to know her i.e. ever since I got into JC. I worked hard for maths everytime, and my results nv disappointed her. When I dun think of her as a teacher, she's actually the kinda gal that most guys would wanna treat her well and respect her. Occasionally, I try to get her attention by doing all the small little things e.g. treat her to sweets, help with things etc. And everytime she would reciprocate with a nice n gentle smile. And our relationship became more than just a teacher-student relationship. Dun get it wrong, it's just a became a even closer teacher-student relationship. haha?
But, she already had a boyfren.
Recently, I got to know her handphone number (not really a big deal, all my classmates have her no.) and started to sms her occasionally. Initially, it was about maths and school. But the sms content started to change from maths to smth else more. Like I would ask her how is she, go to bed early etc - concerns that's beyond a student. Then Lately, she seems to realise I'm not just a ordinary student and started to give me 'cold shoulder'. I dunno whether izzit just my own thinking or is it true. Close frenz tell me to stop thinking of her, but I always fail to do so. At least whenever I have her in my mind, my maths seems unstoppable i.e. in preparation for A'lvls, I nv had problems with my maths. Then again, I'm the kinda guy who believes that in order to forget someone, you have to like another. I'm really afraid I'll still be thinking of her after the A'lvls, and thru-out the course of NS.
Wad shld I do?
Btw, good luck to all those taking A'lvls!
try to get urself distracted by other things...im sure ur teacher thought u are just a friendly sweet student b4, but now she probably think u might have a crush on her and so she subtly ignoring u... pls dont be an asshole, just forget about her... do well for As, then go NS, then after ORD, go uni n flirt with the uni girls... trust me uni girls are better for u... dont go after teachers... when u go uni u will forget abt her one..coz everyday also can see very pretty fashionable girls.. sometimes in mini skirts, sometimes in other things..dont be an emotional wussy, go n fall in love with a teacher, somemore few yrs older... grow up bro... -
Hi Ray87,
You're welcome. If you're born in 1987, it would make you a young adult, & being still fresh & to a certain extent innocent (for lack of a better word), young adults don't have an inkling of the consequences of their actions
I'll have succeeded if I can make a young adult more aware.
Hope you'll make the right choice, with your eyes wide open.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Ray87:to mcsq, and feowfeow, thanks for the replies, they were insightful. Actually, i was about to fall into this vicious cycle of escapism, without actually knowing that it isnt a solution and has some severe consequences.
Today's exam was math. I guess ethan-1,2-diol has had an easy time. -
Wow, thks for all the replies. I really appreciate it. Maybe I know what is the next step I shld take. Maybe not...
To clarify some things, I think I made a mistake when trying to bring across my idea. (Think I will fail my GP if that goes on...) What I meant about the 'to forget someone, must like another' is actually.... it's like you LIKED this girl, but she dun like you. You must be able to forget her before you can actually pursue a new relationship, not pursue a new relationship to forget the old one. Sry for my mistake guys! and gals...
So my problem is like, I can't forget her. I just can't. I see her in school everyday(soon I wun need to go sch). I try all sorts of ways to put her outta my mind, like studying and playing games. But nth can prevent me from dreaming of her at night when I sleep.
sidetrack: to the person who made that silly comment, I wun end up in either of the two ways you proposed. I wun sleep with her, and I wun flunk my maths! SAY NO TO PREMARITAL SEX! LOL!
So how? I believe I wun become a psycho when I go to NS, enduring the tough physical training and emotional stress simultaneously. I dunno, deep down in me, I'm just a lonely boy who will think of the girl I like when I'm alone. I can always engage in healthy activities to forget her, but there will still be times I'm alone n will daydream....
As for the university part, of course I do hope I can get a decent girlfren there. Hope... Can any of you help me survey or something liddat? I thinking of going to a science course, more towards the physics-chemistry part than the chemistry-biology part. LOL! Wondering which course(s) will girls take? Most girls dun like physics rite? I'm stereotyping here.... prove me wrong...
Sad... finished Maths Paper1... Tml's Maths paper2... I hope I wun disappoint her...
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Wah i type so much then you tell me wrong ah...Originally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:Wow, thks for all the replies. I really appreciate it. Maybe I know what is the next step I shld take. Maybe not...
To clarify some things, I think I made a mistake when trying to bring across my idea. (Think I will fail my GP if that goes on...) What I meant about the 'to forget someone, must like another' is actually.... it's like you LIKED this girl, but she dun like you. You must be able to forget her before you can actually pursue a new relationship, not pursue a new relationship to forget the old one. Sry for my mistake guys! and gals...
So my problem is like, I can't forget her. I just can't. I see her in school everyday(soon I wun need to go sch). I try all sorts of ways to put her outta my mind, like studying and playing games. But nth can prevent me from dreaming of her at night when I sleep.
sidetrack: to the person who made that silly comment, I wun end up in either of the two ways you proposed. I wun sleep with her, and I wun flunk my maths! SAY NO TO PREMARITAL SEX! LOL!
So how? I believe I wun become a psycho when I go to NS, enduring the tough physical training and emotional stress simultaneously. I dunno, deep down in me, I'm just a lonely boy who will think of the girl I like when I'm alone. I can always engage in healthy activities to forget her, but there will still be times I'm alone n will daydream....
As for the university part, of course I do hope I can get a decent girlfren there. Hope... Can any of you help me survey or something liddat? I thinking of going to a science course, more towards the physics-chemistry part than the chemistry-biology part. LOL! Wondering which course(s) will girls take? Most girls dun like physics rite? I'm stereotyping here.... prove me wrong...
Sad... finished Maths Paper1... Tml's Maths paper2... I hope I wun disappoint her... 
Good la. At least you're not crooked.
Cheers -
I dunno about here, about in Melbourne, the Commerce/Business faculty had plenty of girls
FeowFeowOriginally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:Wow, thks for all the replies. I really appreciate it. Maybe I know what is the next step I shld take. Maybe not...
To clarify some things, I think I made a mistake when trying to bring across my idea. (Think I will fail my GP if that goes on...) What I meant about the 'to forget someone, must like another' is actually.... it's like you LIKED this girl, but she dun like you. You must be able to forget her before you can actually pursue a new relationship, not pursue a new relationship to forget the old one. Sry for my mistake guys! and gals...
So my problem is like, I can't forget her. I just can't. I see her in school everyday(soon I wun need to go sch). I try all sorts of ways to put her outta my mind, like studying and playing games. But nth can prevent me from dreaming of her at night when I sleep.
sidetrack: to the person who made that silly comment, I wun end up in either of the two ways you proposed. I wun sleep with her, and I wun flunk my maths! SAY NO TO PREMARITAL SEX! LOL!
So how? I believe I wun become a psycho when I go to NS, enduring the tough physical training and emotional stress simultaneously. I dunno, deep down in me, I'm just a lonely boy who will think of the girl I like when I'm alone. I can always engage in healthy activities to forget her, but there will still be times I'm alone n will daydream....
As for the university part, of course I do hope I can get a decent girlfren there. Hope... Can any of you help me survey or something liddat? I thinking of going to a science course, more towards the physics-chemistry part than the chemistry-biology part. LOL! Wondering which course(s) will girls take? Most girls dun like physics rite? I'm stereotyping here.... prove me wrong...
Sad... finished Maths Paper1... Tml's Maths paper2... I hope I wun disappoint her... -
Originally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:
stop dreaming.... u flunk, u think she give a hoot?
Sad... finished Maths Paper1... Tml's Maths paper2... I hope I wun disappoint her... [/b]
she look attractive to u cos all women in romance r attractive. and it so happen the bf is not u.
u sudn't waste ur precious time thinking abt such things now -
haha, thks mc^2... I appreciate it...
To be able to forget someone is something that I need to learn... but no one can teach me... -
ethane,
for the sake of her, concentrate and focus on your studies. i believe it was her motivation that drive you from going on, dun care about wat others tell u it was impossible.
i believe the reason of her giving u a cold shoulder is because she is your teacher and she has to act wat a teacher does. i believe once after you graduated, it should be no problems if you want to sian her. only time can tell wat will happen in the future!
Keep this motivation focus, and StudyHard!