Please advise
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Hi, I'm Gabriel, 22m. I had some problems which i cannot tel my friends about it, but I need a listening ear.. Anyone care to listen and give me some advice? Please add me on msn as the story is too long to type here. [email protected] -
why don't you just post here?
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ya i think ur post can take more words den msn can do...
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we are waiting for you to post them here!
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-waits-
-dies frm waiting- -
i only can summarise..
My gf is much older than me and married with a son..
Now sometimes i felt that she's making use of me from her actions but i dunno whether becoz im too sensitive. Sometimes she treated me very well, but sometimes i only can see her appearing in front of me when she needs my help.
What shall i do?
For details, i only can msn. Coz she sometimes she came to this website too. -
How old are the both of you?Originally posted by gabriel_gab:i only can summarise..
My gf is much older than me and married with a son..
Now sometimes i felt that she's making use of me from her actions but i dunno whether becoz im too sensitive. Sometimes she treated me very well, but sometimes i only can see her appearing in front of me when she needs my help.
What shall i do?
For details, i only can msn. Coz she sometimes she came to this website too.
What makes you think that she's making use of you only?
PS. If you not convenient to reply me here, can always PM me...? -
I'm 22, she's 34.Originally posted by Devil1976:How old are the both of you?
What makes you think that she's making use of you only?
PS. If you not convenient to reply me here, can always PM me...?
When she needs my help then she treat me very well lor. When she dun need help, sometimes i dun hear fron her lor -
do u think she really loves u ?
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you are hopelessly in love with her lar..
even if anyone here tells you to stop loving her.
you will not do it so why even try to ask us for any serious advice ?
Is you that must change your mindset.
You know that she is making use of you and yet you refuse to do anything about it... so i am sorry to say lar bro.. you are what we call a hopeless case...
Unless you want to stop her from wasting all your money I think is time to stop seeing her....
To her you are just only a usefull for the time being.. when she found a richer and better man she will dump you asap... mark my words...!! -
Looks like she is making use of you.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:I'm 22, she's 34.
When she needs my help then she treat me very well lor. When she dun need help, sometimes i dun hear fron her lor
This is not a way a woman in love behaves. A woman who is in love with her man will be with him all the time. -
I think it's true that she's just making use of you... All maybe she just need a "FRIEND" not a person whom she can commit in a long term... Think about it... Either u treat her as a ordinary "friend" also, or the other... if u can't and still like/love her so much.. better keep ur distance... You wouldn't waste all the rest of your time and losing self respect with her, who wont ever commit with you right?Originally posted by rainee:Looks like she is making use of you.
This is not a way a woman in love behaves. A woman who is in love with her man will be with him all the time. -
but sometimes things that she did makes me guilty coz im suspecting her while she treat me so well. So i dun really know whether shes making use of me or not. I cant confirm. Any ways to test her?
Sometimes i wonder. She had a lot of friends, so she dun need my companion. She's earning twice my salary, she dun need my money. So y am i still suspecting her? I dunno wat's wrong. -
But she's not into money.. coz she's earning double of my pay.Originally posted by zeny:you are hopelessly in love with her lar..
even if anyone here tells you to stop loving her.
you will not do it so why even try to ask us for any serious advice ?
Is you that must change your mindset.
You know that she is making use of you and yet you refuse to do anything about it... so i am sorry to say lar bro.. you are what we call a hopeless case...
Unless you want to stop her from wasting all your money I think is time to stop seeing her....
To her you are just only a usefull for the time being.. when she found a richer and better man she will dump you asap... mark my words...!! -
well, there will be times when all her companions desert her. And at that time, she is lonely so she call you, become nice to you because she wants your company at that moment.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:but sometimes things that she did makes me guilty coz im suspecting her while she treat me so well. So i dun really know whether shes making use of me or not. I cant confirm. Any ways to test her?
Sometimes i wonder. She had a lot of friends, so she dun need my companion. She's earning twice my salary, she dun need my money. So y am i still suspecting her? I dunno wat's wrong.
Way to test her? When she doesnt need you, ask yourself: does she even bother to call or ask you out?
Wake up from this dream. -
I may have to differ.Originally posted by rainee:Looks like she is making use of you.
This is not a way a woman in love behaves. A woman who is in love with her man will be with him all the time.
But hearing one side of the story.
We can tell from the post that our thread starter is insecure and his age is vunerable to emotional uncertainty.
The woman is in her 30s, mid 30s and have a child.
The condition of your kind of 'love' above is not valid, to carefully put it across; it may not be valid. Due to age, circumstances and exposure.
The way you have to see this case have to be different.
Unless you tell me that you're also a mom in your 30s and experiencing such a case.
Then i respect this quote. 'A woman who is in love with her man will be with him all the time'
Ever occured that his distrust and insecurities created all the suspicion?
Maybe she's really making use of him, but of what...anyone can answer?
Cheers -
Well, it seems like from the way he described it that she will only be with him when she needs help, when she does not need help, she stays away from him.Originally posted by M©+square:I may have to differ.
But hearing one side of the story.
We can tell from the post that our thread starter is insecure and his age is vunerable to emotional uncertainty.
The woman is in her 30s, mid 30s and have a child.
The condition of your kind of 'love' above is not valid, to carefully put it across; it may not be valid. Due to age, circumstances and exposure.
The way you have to see this case have to be different.
Unless you tell me that you're also a mom in your 30s and experiencing such a case.
Then i respect this quote. 'A woman who is in love with her man will be with him all the time'
Ever occured that his distrust and insecurities created all the suspicion?
Maybe she's really making use of him, but of what...anyone can answer?
Cheers
Is this expected of someone who is currently in a relationship? Cos shudnt she be doing her share of being with him as well, or at least asking him if he needs her company? -
I agreed with u.. if she's making use of me, for wat? I oso got to admit that im feeling insecure.. Actually the main thing i cannot tahan is y she sometimes treat me to 'hot' sometimes so 'cold'? I really wan to know wat's exactly on her mindOriginally posted by M©+square:I may have to differ.
But hearing one side of the story.
We can tell from the post that our thread starter is insecure and his age is vunerable to emotional uncertainty.
The woman is in her 30s, mid 30s and have a child.
The condition of your kind of 'love' above is not valid, to carefully put it across; it may not be valid. Due to age, circumstances and exposure.
The way you have to see this case have to be different.
Unless you tell me that you're also a mom in your 30s and experiencing such a case.
Then i respect this quote. 'A woman who is in love with her man will be with him all the time'
Ever occured that his distrust and insecurities created all the suspicion?
Maybe she's really making use of him, but of what...anyone can answer?
Cheers -
erm, she is making use of you for your company? When all her other friends desert her, she knows that you will still be there to accompany her...she knows she can always rely on you for help because she knows you love her. While her other friends might not be able to do that for her.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:I agreed with u.. if she's making use of me, for wat? I oso got to admit that im feeling insecure.. Actually the main thing i cannot tahan is y she sometimes treat me to 'hot' sometimes so 'cold'? I really wan to know wat's exactly on her mind
And if you really want to know what's exactly on her mind, your best bet would be to actually talk to her. Communication is very important in a relationship. So instead of worrying about this, just talk to her and tell her what is bothering you
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Actually you and i know that this poor boy is speculating on his own relationship.Originally posted by rainee:Well, it seems like from the way he described it that she will only be with him when she needs help, when she does not need help, she stays away from him.
Is this expected of someone who is currently in a relationship? Cos shudnt she be doing her share of being with him as well, or at least asking him if he needs her company?
He himself is unsure of many things, yet do not know or want to confront the matter. He feels unwanted yet he doesn't know how to put it across.
If the root problem is insecurity, then say.
If it's attention, say
If it's not enough time spent, say and try to work things out.
He is expecting something and making himself miserable by not saying it. His expectations are killing him, not her.
She might have felt self sufficent. Or many things tied up in her life. Or she might have double life.
We are also speculating....and we shouldn't.
Cheers -
Actually there's once i told her that i hate it when she said she had no time for me. Then her way so replying me is juz 'dun worry, U will always be my baobei'. But from out last meeting till now she never contact me first.. Im always the one who contact her first.
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Yes!Originally posted by rainee:And if you really want to know what's exactly on her mind, your best bet would be to actually talk to her. Communication is very important in a relationship. So instead of worrying about this, just talk to her and tell her what is bothering you -
Frankly, you're not very young. But you have to know now, where is this 'relationship' heading to.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:Actually there's once i told her that i hate it when she said she had no time for me. Then her way so replying me is juz 'dun worry, U will always be my baobei'. But from out last meeting till now she never contact me first.. Im always the one who contact her first.
Where are you in the relationship. -
Yea...Originally posted by M©+square:Actually you and i know that this poor boy is speculating on his own relationship.
He himself is unsure of many things, yet do not know or want to confront the matter. He feels unwanted yet he doesn't know how to put it across.
If the root problem is insecurity, then say.
If it's attention, say
If it's not enough time spent, say and try to work things out. He is expecting something and making himself miserable by not saying it. His expectations are killing him, not her.
She might have felt self sufficent. Or many things tied up in her life. Or she might have double life.
We are also speculating....and we shouldn't.
Cheers
hence I asked him in my post above to talk to her...cos he wants to know what is exactly on her mind. Well, we are all just speculating based on his side of story. We can base our advice on nothing else at the moment, unless the lady involved comes in and give us her view on this matter.
So I think it is best if he just talks to her and let her know of his worries and concern. And if she is truly in love with him, she will tell him how she truly feels and assure him that she is not making use of him? -
Patience.
She have a child.
Remember, she have a child. Woman's 1st priority is to love her child. Your priority is just to love her.