Please advise
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The only way to save it is to be honest and talk to her.
You cannot just keep things to yourself and then make yourself miserable. Unless, like what I said, you like to be in misery.
If there is no honesty and trust in a r/s, then move on and find someone else who will respond to you better... -
Really no other ways other than telling straight in her face?Originally posted by rainee:Then you rather be unhappy urself?
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Honesty is very important in a r/s.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:Really no other ways other than telling straight in her face?
And since she cant take hints, you wud need to tell her directly.
Good luck
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thanks for yr sarcasm. I'm just being objective.Originally posted by M©+square:there's one who claim to know women.
Expert!
But then again, women are unfathomable. -
honesty is the best policy.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:Really no other ways other than telling straight in her face?
truth hurts, but it sets the ideas straight.
everything is reveal. everyone will understand. -
sorry but i see a dead end..
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Originally posted by smallcloud:sorry but i see a dead end.. haiz
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Originally posted by gabriel_gab:
hmm....... do u know her well enough 2 anwer this important question ur self:
Really no other ways other than telling straight in her face?
Wat r the chances of her divorcing her husband ?
If 'No', jus move on, fade from her life slowly
If 'Yes/mayb', then u need to also ask ur self these few questions:
R u prepared 2 wait indefinately for her 2 divorce her husband ?
Can her child accept u if she is really divorced from her husband ?
Ok, she's divorced, her child is able to accept u, but what abt both ur parents, siblings, relatives n friends (esp both ur parents)?
Will ur parents b able to accept a women whose divorced wif a child n is 12 years older than u?
Will her parents b able to accept a man who is 12 years younger than her? -
The chances of her not divorcing with her husband is quite high, although they no longer stay together..Originally posted by starExcaliblur:hmm....... do u know her well enough 2 anwer this important question ur self:
Wat r the chances of her divorcing her husband ?
If 'No', jus move on, fade from her life slowly
If 'Yes/mayb', then u need to also ask ur self these few questions:
R u prepared 2 wait indefinately for her 2 divorce her husband ?
Can her child accept u if she is really divorced from her husband ?
Ok, she's divorced, her child is able to accept u, but what abt both ur parents, siblings, relatives n friends (esp both ur parents)?
Will ur parents b able to accept a women whose divorced wif a child n is 12 years older than u?
Will her parents b able to accept a man who is 12 years younger than her?
As for her son, perhaps need some time..
My mother had saw her b4 as she had came to my house.. i didnt tel my mum abt her age.. but i think my mum knows coz she looks like 26..
I saw her father b4, but her father dunno we r together.. so no comments..
Her sister knew abt us.. but no objection.. -
Originally posted by gabriel_gab: leaving her is wat i thought of too.. n i tried b4 too.. juz tt whenever she asked me out.. i cannot resist..
N one more thing i got to admit.. I dun bear to... coz i put in lots of effort in this relationship.. perhaps.. time is all i need.
I have always equate Love's investment to gambling: when we gambled and lost excessively, we are so afraid to leave the game because we have invested too much money into the game. We keep pumping in more money because we pray to recover what we have lost.
In the end, we bleed further.
Do you think that it is your great Love for her which made you impossible to leave her? Or is it your refusal to accept your loses?
Cheers -
do you think that she really loves you? seems to me that she is making use of you.
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I don't understand your relationship.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:In fact im really tired.. thats y i need some advice. I tried but she avoid... I really wan to know more abt her n her husband, but she juz dun wanna tel me.. she juz change topic. wat can i do?
It's tired to guess wats on her mind.
It's tired to make her son accept me.
I wan to hold her hands when we go out, but we cannot.
I wan to spend time juz with her alone sometimes, but her son will be there everytime...
I'm tired. But i love her.
I don't see much establishments and connections you should be having with her. Whatever even if she feel for you at this point, with the current 'establishments'... You'll probably be OVERWHELMED by the BIGGER PIECES that might HIT YOU in the FUTURE....
GOOD LUCK? -
Originally posted by gabriel_gab:I'm 22, she's 34.
When she needs my help then she treat me very well lor. When she dun need help, sometimes i dun hear fron her lor
And you were saying...? Just what sorts of help she needs from you? Doesn't she meet you or ask you out even if she isn't asking you for help...?Originally posted by gabriel_gab:but sometimes things that she did makes me guilty coz im suspecting her while she treat me so well. So i dun really know whether shes making use of me or not. I cant confirm. Any ways to test her?
Sometimes i wonder. She had a lot of friends, so she dun need my companion. She's earning twice my salary, she dun need my money. So y am i still suspecting her? I dunno wat's wrong.
Do you think you could be be oversensitive because you feel that she's spending much more time on her kid and her friends instead of you? Like... A sense of jealousy...?
Think you're not pretty much experienced in relationships? Being 'hot' and 'cold' doesn't necessarily means that she's making use of you... Some women just have that kinda characteristics.. And men do....?Originally posted by gabriel_gab:I agreed with u.. if she's making use of me, for wat? I oso got to admit that im feeling insecure.. Actually the main thing i cannot tahan is y she sometimes treat me to 'hot' sometimes so 'cold'? I really wan to know wat's exactly on her mind -
I must say is both..Originally posted by Yunhaier:Do you think that it is your great Love for her which made you impossible to leave her? Or is it your refusal to accept your loses? -
Originally posted by gabriel_gab:I must say is both.. I agree with Devil... about you lacking experience in Love. IMHO, if you want to pursue such difficult relationship with the current you, you could probably die trying.
I don't even think you even understand enough to know this woman. Certainly, this woman has an emotional void and it appears that you are merely the candidate serve to fill in the emotional blanks.
Cheers -
How do u consider understanding a woman?Originally posted by Yunhaier:I don't even think you even understand enough to know this woman. -
my advice?
ask what u can do for her and not wat she can do for u....
1) u are still only 22......can you provide for her and her child? woman wants to feel secured
2) can u afford to give her child the love of a father?
3) are you mentally prepared to face her family and urs about the relationship?
4) Can you be her guidance?
5) Are you prepared that there is a possibility that she cant satisfy you sexually in future even though you still need it?
Be fair to her and the child........if you say no to even one of these questions, i suggest you be a man with dignity and back out gracefully. -
Wat if i tel u all the answer to the above r all yes?Originally posted by hamirra:my advice?
ask what u can do for her and not wat she can do for u....
1) u are still only 22......can you provide for her and her child? woman wants to feel secured
2) can u afford to give her child the love of a father?
3) are you mentally prepared to face her family and urs about the relationship?
4) Can you be her guidance?
5) Are you prepared that there is a possibility that she cant satisfy you sexually in future even though you still need it?
Be fair to her and the child........if you say no to even one of these questions, i suggest you be a man with dignity and back out gracefully. -
i hope u r honest with ur answers.
in dat case, be a man, and confront her, tell her your thoughts and listen to hers. Remember. love cannot be forced upon. If she says she love you, ask her for her fears and tell her yours. The key is to be frank & open so that nothing is hidden that could one day jeopardise your relationship.
Prove to her family and urs that you know what u r doing. the best way to do so is to have your goals set and your workplan ready.
Only you can help urself. Stand up and make people take notice of what you say and do. Earn their respect so that they will respect you no matter how young you are.
Let me tell you, there are plenty of 30 year old guys out there who dont even know what they want in life and how to get there.
Sincerely from a friend..... -
Thanks a lot for yr advice.. I really appreciate ttOriginally posted by hamirra:i hope u r honest with ur answers.
in dat case, be a man, and confront her, tell her your thoughts and listen to hers. Remember. love cannot be forced upon. If she says she love you, ask her for her fears and tell her yours. The key is to be frank & open so that nothing is hidden that could one day jeopardise your relationship.
Prove to her family and urs that you know what u r doing. the best way to do so is to have your goals set and your workplan ready.
Only you can help urself. Stand up and make people take notice of what you say and do. Earn their respect so that they will respect you no matter how young you are.
Let me tell you, there are plenty of 30 year old guys out there who dont even know what they want in life and how to get there.
Sincerely from a friend..... -
have you screwed her? if you haven't get your pants off and into hers...
at least you'd gained something out of this mess after she dumps you...
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Originally posted by gabriel_gab:How do u consider understanding a woman? Understanding a woman is higher learning - some useful knowledge.
Understanding HER is an essential process, if you wish to have anything to do with her.
How do you consider if you understood her? If you ask me this question and has doubts, basically, you are nowhere near there.
Cheers -
all i can say is that shattered dreams can be far more horrific than a nightmare... because u can't even wake from it
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No details are needed anymore since she's married. You know that she's married, then why do you still go for her? She's not even divorced yet. Imagine that you were his husband, will you be happy if your wife is having a affair with a man? Don't do to others what you don't like others to do to you.Originally posted by gabriel_gab:i only can summarise..
My gf is much older than me and married with a son..
Now sometimes i felt that she's making use of me from her actions but i dunno whether becoz im too sensitive. Sometimes she treated me very well, but sometimes i only can see her appearing in front of me when she needs my help.
What shall i do?
For details, i only can msn. Coz she sometimes she came to this website too.
Cheers. -
HELLO MR MAHAIOriginally posted by mahai107:have you screwed her? if you haven't get your pants off and into hers...
at least you'd gained something out of this mess after she dumps you... 
