A Qstn For The Ladies: Being a Third Party
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To the ladies of this forum:
Doing you think its alright to get involve with a married/attached man even if its just purely physical and that you knew he was married/attached right from the beginning? -
no manz..
u will only sink in deeper.... -
physical? to me, it's equally bad as emotional.
or put it this way.. I may be able to forgive my bf/husband for being emotionally attached to somebody else, but definitely not if he's physically attached to her. Break up or divorce is inevitable. -
ok, i'm not agreeing with being a third party too.... it just hurt to know that a good friend of mine is doing that.... tried talking to her but she avoids the topic, just saying its just a small matter..
i didnt want to spoil our friendship, so now we avoid that topic totally... but it still bothers me.... -
short ans : no
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What i really want to know is what are such ladies thinking when they go about getting into such relationship with a man?
wondering if anyone can enlighten me.... -
it could be juz a fling, as simple as that.Originally posted by sharked:What i really want to know is what are such ladies thinking when they go about getting into such relationship with a man?
wondering if anyone can enlighten me.... -
flings shldn't be tolerated either...
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yes it shouldn't be tolerated, but some pple juz enjoy that.Originally posted by ethane-1,2-diol:flings shldn't be tolerated either... -
Haiz.. alot things are easier said then done. Alot things cannot juz be classified simply as black n white.
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cheers..Originally posted by Gackt247:Haiz.. alot things are easier said then done. Alot things cannot juz be classified simply as black n white.
me support these...
sometime things just happen the way we least expect.
Anyway just be a true fren or buddy support her/ him when they fall.
Isn't that are fren for ? Certain things in life we can't be much help either.. -
Let me share a true life story.Originally posted by sharked:To the ladies of this forum:
Doing you think its alright to get involve with a married/attached man even if its just purely physical and that you knew he was married/attached right from the beginning?
I've gotten to know this couple.
The guy is happily married with two kids
The gal is happily married with a kid
Both guy and gal are great buddies...in real life and in bed
They love each other as buddies but never as a lover
They share their problems and happiness with each other
They never argue or get jealous of each other
And ultimately they know they love their own individual family. -
if ppl want to do this, they do not need any reason.
if ppl don't want to do this, they also do not need any reason.
Its just a choice and whatever the choice, the person who choose have to live with the consequence. -
Everything and anything has a reason.Originally posted by mistyblue:if ppl want to do this, they do not need any reason.
if ppl don't want to do this, they also do not need any reason.
Its just a choice and whatever the choice, the person who choose have to live with the consequence. -
what i meant is a logical or rational reason for their actions
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You shouldn't be controlling others' lives just like you won't like to be controlled by others..?Originally posted by sharked:ok, i'm not agreeing with being a third party too.... it just hurt to know that a good friend of mine is doing that.... tried talking to her but she avoids the topic, just saying its just a small matter..
i didnt want to spoil our friendship, so now we avoid that topic totally... but it still bothers me.... -
i am not trying to control her life if tts what you meant... ... but there are things deemed as right and wrong... ... was just trying to talk to her about what i think is wrong
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there are times when emotional feel make one irrational in mind.Originally posted by mistyblue:what i meant is a logical or rational reason for their actions
Just put it these way no one wanna step into such situation neither -
I agree with you that it's wrong.Originally posted by sharked:i am not trying to control her life if tts what you meant... ... but there are things deemed as right and wrong... ... was just trying to talk to her about what i think is wrong
I also agree with your friend that it's(the affair) a small matter.
There are several categories of people in this world that have differing perspective and mindset in work, ethics, relationships social life and private life.
We are always judging situations by our value system.
You may have seen this issue at your point of view and made certain comments.
Your friend may differ, because she have completely different value in life. Likewise what you deemed right may not be right to many people.
How right is right and how wrong is wrong? It is all up to individuals to comment and judge.
You need to open your mind about this matter; be open minded or just leave the topic alone till she wants to talk about it.
Cheers -
no.. not advisable.... nvr involve with marries/attached person....Originally posted by sharked:To the ladies of this forum:
Doing you think its alright to get involve with a married/attached man even if its just purely physical and that you knew he was married/attached right from the beginning?
i have a fren who is like tat.... i can see the relationship is going no where... -
--ya, tts what i'm doing.... avoid the topic....
from the news today, Married man having affair with gal,19, both found dead in car parked at a multistorey carpark known for rendezvous.
imagine how upset the guys family feels, and the shame of the gal's family..... the gal's photo was on cover page -
Cover page of where? Chinese papers?Originally posted by sharked:from the news today, Married man having affair with gal,19, both found dead in car parked at a multistorey carpark known for rendezvous.
imagine how upset the guys family feels, and the shame of the gal's family..... the gal's photo was on cover page -
yea, chinese papers, it was just on the news on tv oso, cause of death unknown yet
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Oh well. The news prefers 'this' kind of subject esp to the Chinese papers.Originally posted by sharked:yea, chinese papers, it was just on the news on tv oso, cause of death unknown yet
Not surprised.
Middle aged men and teenage girls were already common since the 90s. -
Just like what MCSquare has suggested to you... What you deem 'right' might just not be so in the eyes of your friend or even others...? Sometimes the line of 'right' and 'wrong' might be a little blurrish... Just like you would not like someone who just step into your life and tell you that you should be doing MORE DONATIONS just because they think it's 'RIGHT'Originally posted by sharked:i am not trying to control her life if tts what you meant... ... but there are things deemed as right and wrong... ... was just trying to talk to her about what i think is wrong
If you're really strong on your stand and you're not really affecting your friendship or irritating your friend through the things you wanna tell her, I suppose it might be okay to just talk about it sometimes...?
But if you really respect your friend with her life, I suppose it's better to just have her own authority over decisions in her life...