How do you cherish your love ?
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thanks feow for your advice.
I will try to see how A reacts.
I was very piss off with her and i let it all out by screaming at her for keep saying about my looks..
I told her that I am born with my looks not that I could chose how I look.
She was born beautiful but that does not mean she have a right to judge people. I told her off and I felt good.
She was so scared that she started crying..
She never saw me so angry before and started begging to cool down..
I try to cool down but I can't becos I am a human being I have feelings too. I admit I am not a robot.
In the end I sent her home and told her straight in the face we need time to cool off. I set the time, 1 week apart if she refuse to change her mindset, I am going to break up with her asap. I could no longer stand my gf saying such things about me anymore. Is a direct insult to me and wonder why we ever started the relationship when she mind my looks so much.
To orthers out there. If you really mind your gf or bf looks is best not to be together becos the other party will end up hurt when you keep saying about their looks. -
Dear Zeny,
You're welcome. Since you've made it clear to her how much this affects you, it's then up to her to get back to you with her views. If she's willing to accept you for who you are, then good. If Not, you'll hafta make a decision on whether you want your self-esteem affected for the rest of your life, or to end the misery for yourself.
Let her have the week to sort out her thoughts. If looks are so important to her, then it wouldn't be fair for her to continue with you. Nobody will be considered beautiful to everybody. I'm Not drop-dead gorgeous either. But my darling thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world, & frankly, I couldn't care less what others think (as long as friends don't stab me in the back about my looks lah
).
FeowFeowOriginally posted by zeny:thanks feow for your advice.
I will try to see how A reacts.
I was very piss off with her and i let it all out by screaming at her for keep saying about my looks..
I told her that I am born with my looks not that I could chose how I look.
She was born beautiful but that does not mean she have a right to judge people. I told her off and I felt good.
She was so scared that she started crying..
She never saw me so angry before and started begging to cool down..
I try to cool down but I can't becos I am a human being I have feelings too. I admit I am not a robot.
In the end I sent her home and told her straight in the face we need time to cool off. I set the time, 1 week apart if she refuse to change her mindset, I am going to break up with her asap. I could no longer stand my gf saying such things about me anymore. Is a direct insult to me and wonder why we ever started the relationship when she mind my looks so much.
To orthers out there. If you really mind your gf or bf looks is best not to be together becos the other party will end up hurt when you keep saying about their looks. -
Thats wat i've been trying to tell my gal lol... though she insist she's not that beautiful haha...Originally posted by FeowFeow:If looks are so important to her, then it wouldn't be fair for her to continue with you. Nobody will be considered beautiful to everybody. I'm Not drop-dead gorgeous either. But my darling thinks I'm the most beautiful person in the world, & frankly, I couldn't care less what others think (as long as friends don't stab me in the back about my looks lah ).
FeowFeow -
He should change his nick to DailyFreeDreams.comOriginally posted by FeowFeow:Hello? Is this the CNB?? Yes, I would like to report a suspected drug user in our forum. He's displaying delusional tendencies & hallucinations
FeowFeow
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Ey...sometimes when someone does things for the gf, they don't really expect the gf to do the same or some other stuffs back.Originally posted by megatron:Yeah..IM so happi for u F.F BUT..what hav YOU done for him?..mmm..?
I'm not sure about others, but when I do something for my gf, I'll be damn happy with just an appreciative smile on her face. I don't really want her to do anything for me cause I felt that I should be the one to do all the stuffs and she just sit there and enjoy and all I ever need from her is acknowledgement and appreciation of the things I do for her. -
I used to tell my darling that too, until I realised that to me, he's also the most gorgeous guy alive (yummier than Brad Pitt!).
So
I believed him
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Sekundes:Thats wat i've been trying to tell my al lol... though she insist she's not that beautiful haha... -
Either that, or DailyFreeDrugs/Heroin.com
FeowFeowOriginally posted by laosu:He should change his nick to DailyFreeDreams.com -
Similar to what...?Originally posted by M©+square:Similiar?
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Sometimes there can be more to a relationship than 'efforts'... In fact, some relationships can flow quite effortlessly when done the right way...Originally posted by FeowFeow:That's why there's something called EFFORT what
You think No effort, then can sustain relationship meh?
You gotta make the effort to remind yourself Not to take your partner for granted : )
FeowFeow
Reminding oneself not to take the other for granted is one thing.. But I've also learnt not to try too hard, as sometimes you can be taken for granted too
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Despite the need to put some things STRAIGHT. Maybe you should also soften a little on her? Seems to me that you can be too harsh on her? Try to take things more 'openly' now that you've show her your POINT? Being too harsh on her always might just be bad for the relationship even if both of you carry on with it?Originally posted by zeny:thanks feow for your advice.
I will try to see how A reacts.
I was very piss off with her and i let it all out by screaming at her for keep saying about my looks..
I told her that I am born with my looks not that I could chose how I look.
She was born beautiful but that does not mean she have a right to judge people. I told her off and I felt good.
She was so scared that she started crying..
She never saw me so angry before and started begging to cool down..
I try to cool down but I can't becos I am a human being I have feelings too. I admit I am not a robot.
In the end I sent her home and told her straight in the face we need time to cool off. I set the time, 1 week apart if she refuse to change her mindset, I am going to break up with her asap. I could no longer stand my gf saying such things about me anymore. Is a direct insult to me and wonder why we ever started the relationship when she mind my looks so much.
To orthers out there. If you really mind your gf or bf looks is best not to be together becos the other party will end up hurt when you keep saying about their looks.
Sometimes you need 'small talks' as follow ups to get things through -
Agreed with Devil that I was too hash on her.Originally posted by Devil1976:Despite the need to put some things STRAIGHT. Maybe you should also soften a little on her? Seems to me that you can be too harsh on her? Try to take things more 'openly' now that you've show her your POINT? Being too harsh on her always might just be bad for the relationship even if both of you carry on with it?
Sometimes you need 'small talks' as follow ups to get things through
But I was in this relationship for 2 years and endure her every laughter at my looks. I told her nicely that I really mind what she says about my looks and she just laugh it off.
Do you know how I felt? Every single of her laughs is like a knife through my heart. Imagine the love of you life telling you that you do not look go enough for her. Trust me if you love someone so deeply, you will hold on to every single word she says.
I love her very much and did lots of things for her. I spent endless nights worrying about her taking very good care of her. To the point even her friends pity me. Maybe if there is a thing call love threshold I have already gone pass it. To me is a release of something that holds so deeply in my heart. I am a man I do have my own pride. I no longer wish to hold back anymore.
If you really think I was too hash on her then who will pity me when she openly say that I was too ugly for her for 2 years straight? I envy those whose gf stand up for their guys when people say the bf is ugly. Maybe I am sick and tired of her ways and no longer need someone who keeps aiming at my looks. So what if I am her ugliest bf she ever had? Does that mean I should forever suffer under being call a ugly guy?
To those guys who are suffering like me and still keeping quiet about it. Is time to fight back, really sick of people suffering like me for nothing. -
Noted
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Devil1976:Sometimes there can be more to a relationship than 'efforts'... In fact, some relationships can flow quite effortlessly when done the right way...
Reminding oneself not to take the other for granted is one thing.. But I've also learnt not to try too hard, as sometimes you can be taken for granted too -
Usually, I'm very harsh on some people who behave like victims when their own "suffering" is a result of their own stupidity. I'm sure I've offended many with my plain speaking, especially those people who play victim.
However, in your case, I do feel for you, because you have already pointed things out to her, Not simply kept quiet & whine in forums. You've been proactive. What's hurt here is your pride, your dignity & your self esteem. I do agree that in this case, you HAVE suffered.
Hopefully, during your cooling off period of 1 week, she'll realise what she stands to lose if she continues her mocking of you. Yes, admittedly, you were harsh on her, but in this case, I feel she deserved it.
However, since you've given her the ultimatum, don't pressure her into making the decision quickly. Give her enough time to weigh her priorities versus losing the person who loves her so much
FeowFeowOriginally posted by zeny:Agreed with Devil that I was too hash on her.
But I was in this relationship for 2 years and endure her every laughter at my looks. I told her nicely that I really mind what she says about my looks and she just laugh it off.
Do you know how I felt? Every single of her laughs is like a knife through my heart. Imagine the love of you life telling you that you do not look go enough for her. Trust me if you love someone so deeply, you will hold on to every single word she says.
I love her very much and did lots of things for her. I spent endless nights worrying about her taking very good care of her. To the point even her friends pity me. Maybe if there is a thing call love threshold I have already gone pass it. To me is a release of something that holds so deeply in my heart. I am a man I do have my own pride. I no longer wish to hold back anymore.
If you really think I was too hash on her then who will pity me when she openly say that I was too ugly for her for 2 years straight? I envy those whose gf stand up for their guys when people say the bf is ugly. Maybe I am sick and tired of her ways and no longer need someone who keeps aiming at my looks. So what if I am her ugliest bf she ever had? Does that mean I should forever suffer under being call a ugly guy?
To those guys who are suffering like me and still keeping quiet about it. Is time to fight back, really sick of people suffering like me for nothing. -
Thanks feow for being so understanding.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Usually, I'm very harsh on some people who behave like victims when their own "suffering" is a result of their own stupidity. I'm sure I've offended many with my plain speaking, especially those people who play victim.
However, in your case, I do feel for you, because you have already pointed things out to her, Not simply kept quiet & whine in forums. You've been proactive. What's hurt here is your pride, your dignity & your self esteem. I do agree that in this case, you HAVE suffered.
Hopefully, during your cooling off period of 1 week, she'll realise what she stands to lose if she continues her mocking of you. Yes, admittedly, you were harsh on her, but in this case, I feel she deserved it.
However, since you've given her the ultimatum, don't pressure her into making the decision quickly. Give her enough time to weigh her priorities versus losing the person who loves her so much
FeowFeow
hugz. -
I can assure you that Not many people will think that The whiners will probably disagree 100% with you
FeowFeowOriginally posted by zeny:Thanks feow for being so understanding.
hugz. -
What was her tone or manner of bringing that message across? That you are ugly?Originally posted by zeny:Agreed with Devil that I was too hash on her.
But I was in this relationship for 2 years and endure her every laughter at my looks. I told her nicely that I really mind what she says about my looks and she just laugh it off.
Do you know how I felt? Every single of her laughs is like a knife through my heart. Imagine the love of you life telling you that you do not look go enough for her. Trust me if you love someone so deeply, you will hold on to every single word she says.
I love her very much and did lots of things for her. I spent endless nights worrying about her taking very good care of her. To the point even her friends pity me. Maybe if there is a thing call love threshold I have already gone pass it. To me is a release of something that holds so deeply in my heart. I am a man I do have my own pride. I no longer wish to hold back anymore.
If you really think I was too hash on her then who will pity me when she openly say that I was too ugly for her for 2 years straight? I envy those whose gf stand up for their guys when people say the bf is ugly. Maybe I am sick and tired of her ways and no longer need someone who keeps aiming at my looks. So what if I am her ugliest bf she ever had? Does that mean I should forever suffer under being call a ugly guy?
To those guys who are suffering like me and still keeping quiet about it. Is time to fight back, really sick of people suffering like me for nothing.
Though I have to say sometimes some people can be just a little more insensitive to others, while a few others are more sensitive to things sadi and done...
I do not totally repute against your decision for 'giving her a piece of your mind'... But my point is.. If you seriously have an intention of keeping the relationship perhaps... I really don't see a need to go 'all out' to strangle her...? -
Lets put it this way, she has been hammering on my looks for 2 years already. I do not wish to descibe what she did to me but I will just say that even her own friends felt that she was too mean to me. In fact her friends are the ones who encourage me to leave her. I have been asking her, begging her, you name it, I have done it but the end result is always the same.Originally posted by Devil1976:What was her tone or manner of bringing that message across? That you are ugly?
Though I have to say sometimes some people can be just a little more insensitive to others, while a few others are more sensitive to things sadi and done...
I do not totally repute against your decision for 'giving her a piece of your mind'... But my point is.. If you seriously have an intention of keeping the relationship perhaps... I really don't see a need to go 'all out' to strangle her...?
I just feel is time to finally give this relationship a last chance. I could have used the slient break on her. Maybe you are right, I may not want to keep this relationship anymore becos I feel that a relationship is a 2 sided effort. What is the point of loving someone but in the end she never put in any effort to maintain the relationship at all? I really do not feel is a all out effort to strangle her but this is seriously her final chance to save this relationship. What is the point on being with someone that keeps attacking your looks? I still have pride and still have gals who confess they like me. So why should I give up so much for a gal who never loves me ? -
Just to make things simple, I think you should just recall why you are with her in the 1st place and see if you really still want to be in this relationship...?Originally posted by zeny:Lets put it this way, she has been hammering on my looks for 2 years already. I do not wish to descibe what she did to me but I will just say that even her own friends felt that she was too mean to me. In fact her friends are the ones who encourage me to leave her. I have been asking her, begging her, you name it, I have done it but the end result is always the same.
I just feel is time to finally give this relationship a last chance. I could have used the slient break on her. Maybe you are right, I may not want to keep this relationship anymore becos I feel that a relationship is a 2 sided effort. What is the point of loving someone but in the end she never put in any effort to maintain the relationship at all? I really do not feel is a all out effort to strangle her but this is seriously her final chance to save this relationship. What is the point on being with someone that keeps attacking your looks? I still have pride and still have gals who confess they like me. So why should I give up so much for a gal who never loves me ?
Personally, at the present situation... I see not much point in you staying in this relationship as it's gonna be too weak anyway.. -
Mine is quite simple too...Originally posted by Sekundes:Anyone ?
For man's and Ladies too...
this question seems to be the missing point of some relationship isn't it ?
1) He initiated to trust me with 80% of his hard-earned cash to me every month. I help him save and grow the money. (I dont spend his money)
He told me its his way to assure the girl that he wont have much $ to entertain chicks out there.
2) He pays for all my meals with his 20%.
3) He fetches me to and from work almost everyday.
4) Wherever he goes or whoever he is going to meet, he will bring me along with him. He will tell me, "I want to let everyone know that you are mine."
5) He is an optimist and has a good sense of humor. He will act silly just to cheer me up.
6) Whenever girls ask him out, he will tell them, "No, I have a wife waiting for me."
7) Whenever I feel stressed-up, he will hug and kiss me. He'll always say, "You will be fine."
There were a few times when I was sick, I remembered he postponed all his appointments so that he could accompany me to see the doctor and send me home to sleep afterwards. He would stay beside me (doing his work) while I was asleep.
9) Wherever I want to go, he will bring me there without fail.
10) He calls me everyday just to chat with me. (He says I am his entertainment)
11) He will surprise me with small visits and gifts.
12) He never fail to hold my hands, up till now.
Thats how he cherishes me.
In return, I cherish him by,
1) Helping him to clean his shirt or lips if I caught a drip of sauce on him.
2) Adjusting his collars when they are out of place and help him with his tie.
3) Wiping his sweat off his face.
4) Giving him the first serving of every dish served. I take the second.
5) Massaging him while he is driving. He loves it.
6) Helping him to pack and organise his things.
7) Showing my appreciation to him by giving him a goodbye kiss on the cheeks, each time he sent me home. Greeting him by giving a teddy bear hug each time we met.
9) Giving him the best of everything. e.g. the stomach of a fish, the fattest chips, gifts with the minimum scratch, etc...
10) There were a few times his shoe laces are undone, I bent down to tie it for him.
11) Reporting to him my whereabouts. That's what he wants me to promise him and I fulfill it.
We have been together for more than a year and yet, simple gestures like these, are enough to sustain the love in this relationship. If you believe in horoscope, maybe you will find it funny that a Gemini(He) and a Cancer(Me) can survive together. Haha...it makes me wonder too whenever I read about horoscope compatibilty. Dont know how and why...we just click.
Cheers!
Dunamis -
The perfect relationship in everyway.Originally posted by dunamis:Mine is quite simple too...
1) He initiated to trust me with 80% of his hard-earned cash to me every month. I help him save and grow the money. (I dont spend his money)
He told me its his way to assure the girl that he wont have much $ to entertain chicks out there.
2) He pays for all my meals with his 20%.
3) He fetches me to and from work almost everyday.
4) Wherever he goes or whoever he is going to meet, he will bring me along with him. He will tell me, "I want to let everyone know that you are mine."
5) He is an optimist and has a good sense of humor. He will act silly just to cheer me up.
6) Whenever girls ask him out, he will tell them, "No, I have a wife waiting for me."
7) Whenever I feel stressed-up, he will hug and kiss me. He'll always say, "You will be fine." There were a few times when I was sick, I remembered he postponed all his appointments so that he could accompany me to see the doctor and send me home to sleep afterwards. He would stay beside me (doing his work) while I was asleep.
9) Wherever I want to go, he will bring me there without fail.
10) He calls me everyday just to chat with me. (He says I am his entertainment)
11) He will surprise me with small visits and gifts.
12) He never fail to hold my hands, up till now.
Thats how he cherishes me.
In return, I cherish him by,
1) Helping him to clean his shirt or lips if I caught a drip of sauce on him.
2) Adjusting his collars when they are out of place and help him with his tie.
3) Wiping his sweat off his face.
4) Giving him the first serving of every dish served. I take the second.
5) Massaging him while he is driving. He loves it.
6) Helping him to pack and organise his things.
7) Showing my appreciation to him by giving him a goodbye kiss on the cheeks, each time he sent me home. Greeting him by giving a teddy bear hug each time we met.
9) Giving him the best of everything. e.g. the stomach of a fish, the fattest chips, gifts with the minimum scratch, etc...
10) There were a few times his shoe laces are undone, I bent down to tie it for him.
11) Reporting to him my whereabouts. That's what he wants me to promise him and I fulfill it.
We have been together for more than a year and yet, simple gestures like these, are enough to sustain the love in this relationship. If you believe in horoscope, maybe you will find it funny that a Gemini(He) and a Cancer(Me) can survive together. Haha...it makes me wonder too whenever I read about horoscope compatibilty. Dont know how and why...we just click.
Cheers!
Dunamis
Wahhh how I wish I could find someone like you hehe..
Just kidding
pats Dunamis
One word of advice grap hold of him hehe...
He is the good husband type. -
Agree with you that I should make things simple for her and me. I let her chose what she wants and will decide from there.Originally posted by Devil1976:Just to make things simple, I think you should just recall why you are with her in the 1st place and see if you really still want to be in this relationship...?
Personally, at the present situation... I see not much point in you staying in this relationship as it's gonna be too weak anyway..
Thanks Devil for your advice
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All the Best.Originally posted by zeny:Agree with you that I should make things simple for her and me. I let her chose what she wants and will decide from there.
Thanks Devil for your advice -
Good to know that there are strong relationship out there.Originally posted by dunamis:We have been together for more than a year and yet, simple gestures like these, are enough to sustain the love in this relationship. If you believe in horoscope, maybe you will find it funny that a Gemini(He) and a Cancer(Me) can survive together. Haha...it makes me wonder too whenever I read about horoscope compatibilty. Dont know how and why...we just click.
Cheers!
Dunamis
I hope these relationships will stay constant...if not, improve.
Time will tell.
Cheers -
......
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i treasure her by
1) letting her noe tht she completes me from time to time
2) accepting all her flaws and even loving them
3) surprise her sometimes with self-made cards n love letters, baking
4) sayanging her face
5) whisper to her ear "i love u" halfwae thru a movie den giving her the nicest smile my face can possibly conjure
6) never doubting her love
7) giving occasional pecks on her rosy cheeks n forehead putting her to bed
9) stare at her while she sleeps so soundly on my lap
10) write letters everydae if iam overseas, den passing them back to her to show how much i miss her
11) supporting her till the very end in wadeva she does
12) feeling happy n contented with her bcos shes happy wen iam happy
13) talk things out instead of arguing
14) cherishing n relishing every moment with her, cos u nvr noe wad happens in the future
15) bring her 4 dinners unexpectedly
and lastly,
16) loving her enuff to let her go
hope these helps