how confusing are relationships????!!!
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Hi,
I 've never used this site before but was just hoping for a little bit of advice...
I've recently came out of a 3 and a half year relationship as I didn't think it was working and have since met a few guys. The most recent guy is quite a bit younger than me (which took some getting used to!) and we've went on a few 'dates', to the cinema and the pub and things. Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. Thing is, I just can't work out what it is he wants from the relationship. I spoke to his best friend who said that this guy wants to get together with me properly, but is too nervous to ask as he doesn't know what I want. THe only problem is whenever I approach the subject, he clearly gets really nervous. He's quite shy in a lot of ways, so rarely seems to say what he's thinkin (without alcohol
. After our last date I asked him what he wanted from 'us' and after he'd finsihed practically having a panick attack he said he thought things were 'cool' as they are. I'm really confused - I really like this guy but don;t want to get hurt anymroe.....help!!! 
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its not confusing,just never meant to be understood..
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Love is a very diversified word.
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You should stop being confusing yourself for the start.
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Sing hao xin fen shou in e background.....
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Free one. Prostitutes charge $$. u dun. wat does tt make u?Originally posted by Katie99:Hi,
I 've never used this site before but was just hoping for a little bit of advice...
I've recently came out of a 3 and a half year relationship as I didn't think it was working and have since met a few guys. The most recent guy is quite a bit younger than me (which took some getting used to!) and we've went on a few 'dates', to the cinema and the pub and things. Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. Thing is, I just can't work out what it is he wants from the relationship. I spoke to his best friend who said that this guy wants to get together with me properly, but is too nervous to ask as he doesn't know what I want. THe only problem is whenever I approach the subject, he clearly gets really nervous. He's quite shy in a lot of ways, so rarely seems to say what he's thinkin (without alcohol. After our last date I asked him what he wanted from 'us' and after he'd finsihed practically having a panick attack he said he thought things were 'cool' as they are. I'm really confused - I really like this guy but don;t want to get hurt anymroe.....help!!! 
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This is AA.Originally posted by mach10:Free one. Prostitutes charge $$. u dun. wat does tt make u?
You're advised to refrain from belittling others.
MC -
1st thing... GET YOUR MIND CLEAR and TELL YOURSELF what you want out of this 'relationship'?Originally posted by Katie99:Hi,
I 've never used this site before but was just hoping for a little bit of advice...
I've recently came out of a 3 and a half year relationship as I didn't think it was working and have since met a few guys. The most recent guy is quite a bit younger than me (which took some getting used to!) and we've went on a few 'dates', to the cinema and the pub and things. Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. Thing is, I just can't work out what it is he wants from the relationship. I spoke to his best friend who said that this guy wants to get together with me properly, but is too nervous to ask as he doesn't know what I want. THe only problem is whenever I approach the subject, he clearly gets really nervous. He's quite shy in a lot of ways, so rarely seems to say what he's thinkin (without alcohol. After our last date I asked him what he wanted from 'us' and after he'd finsihed practically having a panick attack he said he thought things were 'cool' as they are. I'm really confused - I really like this guy but don;t want to get hurt anymroe.....help!!!
2nd thing... Have a GOOD CHAT with him and TELL HIM what you WISH FOR out of this relationship...
3rd... ASK him what he thinks about it...
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+1Originally posted by Devil1976:1st thing... GET YOUR MIND CLEAR and TELL YOURSELF what you want out of this 'relationship'?
2nd thing... Have a GOOD CHAT with him and TELL HIM what you WISH FOR out of this relationship...
3rd... ASK him what he thinks about it... -
Originally posted by Katie99:Hi,
I 've never used this site before but was just hoping for a little bit of advice...
I've recently came out of a 3 and a half year relationship as I didn't think it was working and have since met a few guys. The most recent guy is quite a bit younger than me (which took some getting used to!) and we've went on a few 'dates', to the cinema and the pub and things. Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. Thing is, I just can't work out what it is he wants from the relationship. I spoke to his best friend who said that this guy wants to get together with me properly, but is too nervous to ask as he doesn't know what I want. THe only problem is whenever I approach the subject, he clearly gets really nervous. He's quite shy in a lot of ways, so rarely seems to say what he's thinkin (without alcohol. After our last date I asked him what he wanted from 'us' and after he'd finsihed practically having a panick attack he said he thought things were 'cool' as they are. I'm really confused - I really like this guy but don;t want to get hurt anymroe.....help!!! 
Things are flowing way too hasty and you are running on a perlious track. The meet up constitute merely one month and the sleeping together part had already occured. It may not be easy to recover from a failed relationship of three solid years - but bear in mind that emotionally, the reaction to this sudden void could be the very reason why all these scenario took place.
Love becomes very blur and you have people waiting to fill in application... hoping for some success in wooing you. One candidate arrive and you sees him as a potential. To you, it probably means that you are too used in being in a relationship that subconsciously, singlehood seemed so alien to you. To this man, it could mean sex, fun and company.
When sex comes into the picture BEFORE a relationship, it is like putting the cart before the horse - all your variables changes. If people could have the opportunity to walk out of a retail store with any items and pay some other day, what are the chances anyone would pay? Even if you will receive some payment, one thing is for sure: anyone who pays will delay the payment.
Your man isn't shy - in fact, he is reviewing his stand now. Chances are, his feelings for you may not justify a relationship for him. Things are 'cool' now? Of course things are 'cool'! All the fun MINUS the commitment and responsibility of a relationship... who doesn't want it? Just like who doesn't want to walk out of any retail store, with any items, while paying on a later date?
*** When you fall in Love, you draw up the portcullis that guards your emotions. You become vulnerable to emotional injury and this is inevitable because you allowed access for Love to enter. You cannot Love without Hurt, even with the best security system you set up emotionally. This is an unwritten promise.
It seemed to me that you need more time to get over yourself before embarking on a new journey in BGR. After all these 'fun company' you gain from each other, you become fearful as certain familar confusion (probably as experienced in your previous relationship) are surfacing. You now demand a relationship to secure your stand, but your man hesitated.
There are reasons why he is hesitating and being shy has absolutely nothing to do with it. Please spare some thoughts to my post and think.
Cheers -
so.. does he snore and kick you off the bed?Originally posted by Katie99:Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. -
how confusing?? i also wan to know
got a colleague who just got married.. but we are very close...get both also say got feeling for each other... confirm more than fren... but she die die deny we are lover she love her husband alot too.. but we have a secret email acounts to send email to each other... and she will call mi on her way back home, even chat secretly online with mi at home when her husband is around...sometimes i give her massage and she will give mi... and last sat we go to park to walk walk....she lie to husband alot of times when she is with mi.... so anyone can tell mi what relationship we are having???? confusing? -
Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):how confusing?? i also wan to know
got a colleague who just got married.. but we are very close...get both also say got feeling for each other... confirm more than fren... but she die die deny we are lover she love her husband alot too.. but we have a secret email acounts to send email to each other... and she will call mi on her way back home, even chat secretly online with mi at home when her husband is around...sometimes i give her massage and she will give mi... and last sat we go to park to walk walk....she lie to husband alot of times when she is with mi.... so anyone can tell mi what relationship we are having???? confusing? 
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tink tis is call tou qing....dai lui mou....Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):how confusing?? i also wan to know
got a colleague who just got married.. but we are very close...get both also say got feeling for each other... confirm more than fren... but she die die deny we are lover she love her husband alot too.. but we have a secret email acounts to send email to each other... and she will call mi on her way back home, even chat secretly online with mi at home when her husband is around...sometimes i give her massage and she will give mi... and last sat we go to park to walk walk....she lie to husband alot of times when she is with mi.... so anyone can tell mi what relationship we are having???? confusing? 
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si mi lan jiao?? cannot understand ar?? mi too lor.. dunno to be happy or sad.. sighz...Originally posted by Pitot: -
tou qing i understand but what is dai lui mou????Originally posted by progene:tink tis is call tou qing....dai lui mou....
but we are clean clean leh.. how?? dunno leh.... she even told mi that yesterday morning i never go office... then i thought she will call mi during lunch time..and then she told mi she was thinking of mi.. thinking that i will go to the carpark(she always go carpark to read books during lunch time) to look for her when i come back.. so never call mi.. then when she saw another colleague come back from lunch outside.. then she even start to anyhow think and thought i having lunch with her and she feeling jealous.. haha.. how??? -
Start a thread on your case.Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):tou qing i understand but what is dai lui mou????
but we are clean clean leh.. how?? dunno leh.... she even told mi that yesterday morning i never go office... then i thought she will call mi during lunch time..and then she told mi she was thinking of mi.. thinking that i will go to the carpark(she always go carpark to read books during lunch time) to look for her when i come back.. so never call mi.. then when she saw another colleague come back from lunch outside.. then she even start to anyhow think and thought i having lunch with her and she feeling jealous.. haha.. how??? -
hahahaha i prefer to hijack... hehhe...... ok ok no case no case....Originally posted by M©+square:Start a thread on your case.
Dear all please ignore my above mention confusing story... -
dai lu mao = wear green hat...Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):tou qing i understand but what is dai lui mou????
but we are clean clean leh.. how?? dunno leh.... she even told mi that yesterday morning i never go office... then i thought she will call mi during lunch time..and then she told mi she was thinking of mi.. thinking that i will go to the carpark(she always go carpark to read books during lunch time) to look for her when i come back.. so never call mi.. then when she saw another colleague come back from lunch outside.. then she even start to anyhow think and thought i having lunch with her and she feeling jealous.. haha.. how???
anyway, bac to ur problem..tink she is confuse n dunno her role..she's married yet she's thinkin of u.....hmm.....tink she has fallen for u....
Well...either u n her go underground r/s...which i dun approved of it..but anyway, go for it...if ur heart tell u so....
or tell her straight...to make a choice..u or her husband....
anyway, my 5sen of advice -
since both of u cant have a platonic friendship.. i suggest either be open about it and let her hubby know.. or else have a clean break.. for the good of everyone..Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):tou qing i understand but what is dai lui mou????
but we are clean clean leh.. how?? dunno leh.... she even told mi that yesterday morning i never go office... then i thought she will call mi during lunch time..and then she told mi she was thinking of mi.. thinking that i will go to the carpark(she always go carpark to read books during lunch time) to look for her when i come back.. so never call mi.. then when she saw another colleague come back from lunch outside.. then she even start to anyhow think and thought i having lunch with her and she feeling jealous.. haha.. how???
i see no point in contiuing something which will end up nowhere.. if she can do it once, she can do it to u again.. whats there to prevent her?
and for a newly married lady. .it is obvious her heart is not with her hubby. i wonder why she marry him in the first place? 1st yr of marriage is supposed to be honey moon period de mah..
i admit.. this dun sound very nice.. but its my own thought. .
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to be frank.. i think its just an after effect of ur relationship.. and u just finding him as a subsitute..Originally posted by Katie99:Hi,
I 've never used this site before but was just hoping for a little bit of advice...
I've recently came out of a 3 and a half year relationship as I didn't think it was working and have since met a few guys. The most recent guy is quite a bit younger than me (which took some getting used to!) and we've went on a few 'dates', to the cinema and the pub and things. Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. Thing is, I just can't work out what it is he wants from the relationship. I spoke to his best friend who said that this guy wants to get together with me properly, but is too nervous to ask as he doesn't know what I want. THe only problem is whenever I approach the subject, he clearly gets really nervous. He's quite shy in a lot of ways, so rarely seems to say what he's thinkin (without alcohol. After our last date I asked him what he wanted from 'us' and after he'd finsihed practically having a panick attack he said he thought things were 'cool' as they are. I'm really confused - I really like this guy but don;t want to get hurt anymroe.....help!!!
If u cant work out what he wants.. this also shows just how much u know of him.. i dun think a guai or shy person will sleep around so easy.. (my apologies)..
and what do he mean by saying cool? he dun mind keeping u as a spare tyre or?
i suggest if u feel that u really like him, why dun u leave him alone for a week or two and see if he bother to find out whats wrong? And u can test how much is he willing to go all out for u?
Another way is to be frank and just tell him that u want an answer from him regarding the both of .. if not u wont bother about him anymore.. and see his reaction..
my 2cts~
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Hi,
Thanks for all of that advice everyone. Will really think over it all....and appreciate all of the things that were said...apart from the prostitute comment
Hopefully I'll get this sorted. Haven't been in touch with the guy to see if he will get in touch with me, but kinda feel like maybe thats playing games...still tho sure it'll end up ok in the end.
Thanks again for all your help
xxxx -
I have this feeling that you might be from other forums.Originally posted by Katie99:Hi,
Thanks for all of that advice everyone. Will really think over it all....and appreciate all of the things that were said...apart from the prostitute comment
Hopefully I'll get this sorted. Haven't been in touch with the guy to see if he will get in touch with me, but kinda feel like maybe thats playing games...still tho sure it'll end up ok in the end.
Thanks again for all your help xxxx
I may be wrong.
Anyway, please take care of yourself. And do come back here if there's anything you wish to share.
Cheers -
she just married for 5 mth only haha...Originally posted by binZ:since both of u cant have a platonic friendship.. i suggest either be open about it and let her hubby know.. or else have a clean break.. for the good of everyone..
i see no point in contiuing something which will end up nowhere.. if she can do it once, she can do it to u again.. whats there to prevent her?
and for a newly married lady. .it is obvious her heart is not with her hubby. i wonder why she marry him in the first place? 1st yr of marriage is supposed to be honey moon period de mah..
i admit.. this dun sound very nice.. but its my own thought. . -
The good is, you slept with him. The bad is, you're one selfish b*tch for putting such pressure on a man. You clearly know that he suffers from panic attack and is shy. You should not be confused or thinking about getting hurt, because it's only right not to. You have to give him a blow job and cook him a really nice meal.Originally posted by Katie99:Hi,
I 've never used this site before but was just hoping for a little bit of advice...
I've recently came out of a 3 and a half year relationship as I didn't think it was working and have since met a few guys. The most recent guy is quite a bit younger than me (which took some getting used to!) and we've went on a few 'dates', to the cinema and the pub and things. Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. Thing is, I just can't work out what it is he wants from the relationship. I spoke to his best friend who said that this guy wants to get together with me properly, but is too nervous to ask as he doesn't know what I want. THe only problem is whenever I approach the subject, he clearly gets really nervous. He's quite shy in a lot of ways, so rarely seems to say what he's thinkin (without alcohol. After our last date I asked him what he wanted from 'us' and after he'd finsihed practically having a panick attack he said he thought things were 'cool' as they are. I'm really confused - I really like this guy but don;t want to get hurt anymroe.....help!!!