how confusing are relationships????!!!
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byebye~ gimme a pm if u need advice again~ or else just place a topic again~~ i be around here~Originally posted by Katie99:Hi,
Thanks for all of that advice everyone. Will really think over it all....and appreciate all of the things that were said...apart from the prostitute comment
Hopefully I'll get this sorted. Haven't been in touch with the guy to see if he will get in touch with me, but kinda feel like maybe thats playing games...still tho sure it'll end up ok in the end.
Thanks again for all your help
xxxx
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its not about the months she get married.. its about her wedding vows..Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):she just married for 5 mth only haha...
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refrain from using dirty commentsOriginally posted by yourma:The good is, you slept with him. The bad is, you're one selfish b*tch for putting such pressure on a man. You clearly know that he suffers from panic attack and is shy. You should not be confused or thinking about getting hurt, because it's only right not to. You have to give him a blow job and cook him a really nice meal.
~+Cheers+~
StarPuppy -
ok..case closed!!
Every1 probl is solved..... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Hahaha..Yunhaier...I've always admire the way you replied.
Things are flowing way too hasty and you are running on a perlious track. The meet up constitute merely one month and the sleeping together part had already occured. It may not be easy to recover from a failed relationship of three solid years - but bear in mind that emotionally, the reaction to this sudden void could be the very reason why all these scenario took place.
Love becomes very blur and you have people waiting to fill in application... hoping for some success in wooing you. One candidate arrive and you sees him as a potential. [b]To you, it probably means that you are too used in being in a relationship that subconsciously, singlehood seemed so alien to you. To this man, it could mean sex, fun and company.
When sex comes into the picture BEFORE a relationship, it is like putting the cart before the horse - all your variables changes. If people could have the opportunity to walk out of a retail store with any items and pay some other day, what are the chances anyone would pay? Even if you will receive some payment, one thing is for sure: anyone who pays will delay the payment.
Your man isn't shy - in fact, he is reviewing his stand now. Chances are, his feelings for you may not justify a relationship for him. Things are 'cool' now? Of course things are 'cool'! All the fun MINUS the commitment and responsibility of a relationship... who doesn't want it? Just like who doesn't want to walk out of any retail store, with any items, while paying on a later date?
*** When you fall in Love, you draw up the portcullis that guards your emotions. You become vulnerable to emotional injury and this is inevitable because you allowed access for Love to enter. You cannot Love without Hurt, even with the best security system you set up emotionally. This is an unwritten promise.
It seemed to me that you need more time to get over yourself before embarking on a new journey in BGR. After all these 'fun company' you gain from each other, you become fearful as certain familar confusion (probably as experienced in your previous relationship) are surfacing. You now demand a relationship to secure your stand, but your man hesitated.
There are reasons why he is hesitating and being shy has absolutely nothing to do with it. Please spare some thoughts to my post and think.
Cheers [/b]
Let me put it in a more simplier form.
Why don't just let the relationship grow by itself instead of asking what the other party wants or what you want out of the relationship?
But as a woman, I supposed she's more anxious about the relationship and want to have a clearer picture of the status especially if sexual activities had been involved. Sometimes, things don't really have to be put into words to understand. If the guy is shy and has difficulities in expressing himself properly, there's no point in stressing him for an answer.
But as a woman, to protect yourself, I guess it's best that you make a decision which you think is best for this relationship. If he love her enough, he'll try to do something about it and I think even a little changes is obvious enough to know his answers and whether if he's really serious about the relationship. If he chicken out and just do what the girl decide, then there's no point having this kind of bf either cause he can't even take care of himself unless the girl is prepared to take care of him instead. -
Dear Katie,
It's difficult for me to advise you properly since there're Not many details for me to work with, so my advice currently will be based on assumptions.
Assuming this guy you're talking about is a decent bloke, & his best friend is telling you the truth, & Not in cahoots with the guy to pull the wool over your eyes, the guy may feel that you need more time to get over your past relationship.
Afterall, it WAS 3 & 1/2 years, Not exactly a fling of a few months. And exiting a relationship is never easy emotionally on someone. He may feel that there's a risk you may be treating him as a rebound relationship?
Perhaps before you talk to him the next time, be mentally prepared for the worst. Then sit him down & let him know there's No reason for him to feel panic, as you've already mentally prepared yourself. Let him know that his panicky behaviour the previous time you talked made you fear the worst. Then ask him what he foresees for both of you again.
If he panics & prefers things as they are, you'll then have to make the decision whether or Not you wanna continue with this dating, or look for someone who's prepared for commitment & love.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by Katie99:Hi,
I 've never used this site before but was just hoping for a little bit of advice...
I've recently came out of a 3 and a half year relationship as I didn't think it was working and have since met a few guys. The most recent guy is quite a bit younger than me (which took some getting used to!) and we've went on a few 'dates', to the cinema and the pub and things. Anyway, we've met quite a few times over the last month and have ended up sleeping together quite a lot too. Thing is, I just can't work out what it is he wants from the relationship. I spoke to his best friend who said that this guy wants to get together with me properly, but is too nervous to ask as he doesn't know what I want. THe only problem is whenever I approach the subject, he clearly gets really nervous. He's quite shy in a lot of ways, so rarely seems to say what he's thinkin (without alcohol
. After our last date I asked him what he wanted from 'us' and after he'd finsihed practically having a panick attack he said he thought things were 'cool' as they are. I'm really confused - I really like this guy but don;t want to get hurt anymroe.....help!!! 
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Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):si mi [censored - FeowFeow] ?? cannot understand ar?? mi too lor.. dunno to be happy or sad.. sighz...
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Originally posted by laosu:Hahaha..Yunhaier...I've always admire the way you replied.
Let me put it in a more simplier form.
Why don't just let the relationship grow by itself instead of asking what the other party wants or what you want out of the relationship?
But as a woman, I supposed she's more anxious about the relationship and want to have a clearer picture of the status especially if sexual activities had been involved. Sometimes, things don't really have to be put into words to understand. If the guy is shy and has difficulities in expressing himself properly, there's no point in stressing him for an answer.
But as a woman, to protect yourself, I guess it's best that you make a decision which you think is best for this relationship. If he love her enough, he'll try to do something about it and I think even a little changes is obvious enough to know his answers and whether if he's really serious about the relationship. If he chicken out and just do what the girl decide, then there's no point having this kind of bf either cause he can't even take care of himself unless the girl is prepared to take care of him instead. Ahem!
P.S: Time to issue new cash cheque! 
Cheers