Do you feel as if you are not a good boyfriend/girlfriend?
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As in like you dun think you deserve your partner?
You know he/she treats you better than you treat him/her, you want to love him/her more...but maybe due to time constraint or other reason, you couldn't give as much attention to him as he has been giving to you.
Anyone felt this way before?
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yup, me here... i feel i cant give her the things she deserve...
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Sure. I wish I can do more for him. But maybe cos I'm tired liao, so I tend not to have the same sort of exuberance and put in the same amount of effort towards relationships as he does.
But I guess its a trade off. He did not get the more naive, always giving in, waiting, doing-small-things-for-you-all-the-time girl that I was when I was younger.
But that girl during that time happened to be less evolved too - more insecure, less confident, and because of that, more prone to tantrums, and need a lot more reassurance. At least that was what my exs would complain about.
So...
I think he deserves someone who has a fresher view towards relationships, but.. oh well, its as good as it gets. -
Sounds like you love yourself less than your partner loves you.
You may not have confidence in yourself as a lover, but what about in your partner?
Do you trust your partner?
Have you faith in your partner?
Is your partner deserving of your love?
If not in yourself, perhaps you should have confidence in your partner. At least in the choice he has made -- you. Out of kind and considerate intentions, you may doubt your ability to fulfill his expectations. However, you are also in effect questioning his decision in choosing you to love, and that may actually cause him more hurt than good. Is that the way you would repay him for all that he has done for you, all that he has given you?
Try not to compare the love he has given with what you can offer. To paraphrase a movie quote: You are not perfect. He is not perfect either. But as long as you are perfect for each other, that is all it matters.
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just tot that I seem to care less than he cares about me...
like i dun spend enuff time with him these days... -
Originally posted by rainee:
You are busy with your assignments and exams these days, so that can't be helped. He probably knows that too, and wouldn't hold it against you. You would have done the same in his shoes, wouldn't you?
just tot that I seem to care less than he cares about me...
like i dun spend enuff time with him these days...
Make it up to him on other days when you are less busy. Tie a red ribbon round your neck in your birthday suit as his Christmas present or something. Things would be all right. -
I am not there with him...how I wish I could that for him on Christmas...Originally posted by Tuatau:You are busy with your assignments and exams these days, so that can't be helped. He probably knows that too, and wouldn't hold it against you. You would have done the same in his shoes, wouldn't you?
Make it up to him on other days when you are less busy. Tie a red ribbon round your neck in your birthday suit as his Christmas present or something. Things would be all right.
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Originally posted by rainee:
If not on Christmas, then on his birthday.
I am not there with him...how I wish I could that for him on Christmas...
On a serious note though, long-distance relationships do require more effort. Take heart. -
i felt i didnt do enough when i was with her...
den after we broke up..
i told myself i had been a very good boyfriend and it was her loss anyway.. -
That sounds very much like me....Originally posted by rainee:As in like you dun think you deserve your partner?
You know he/she treats you better than you treat him/her, you want to love him/her more...but maybe due to time constraint or other reason, you couldn't give as much attention to him as he has been giving to you.
Anyone felt this way before?
I've always tot I'm a good partner but then it seemed like most of the time she is actually the one giving in to me. -
I never realize hw bad I was as a bf until we broke off...
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No gf...
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/pat TooFree...Originally posted by TooFree:No gf...
I also no gf...
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i know that i wun be a good gf lah... i am too troublesome.
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but rainee jie ah.... dun be too sad.... you shouldnt measure yourself in a r/s like that. and besides, you are busy now mah. make it up to him when you're free-er... i am sure he will understand. afterall, he has his busy times also mah. cheer up ok?
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Learn to be less troublesome...Originally posted by starblue:i know that i wun be a good gf lah... i am too troublesome. -
I think good or bad is not up to individual to say. What is important is treasuring each other and appreciating each other. If one side do not treasure, no matter how good the other side is, it will turn out to be bad.Originally posted by rainee:As in like you dun think you deserve your partner?
You know he/she treats you better than you treat him/her, you want to love him/her more...but maybe due to time constraint or other reason, you couldn't give as much attention to him as he has been giving to you.
Anyone felt this way before? -
yea Holiday time must make up liaoOriginally posted by starblue:but rainee jie ah.... dun be too sad.... you shouldnt measure yourself in a r/s like that. and besides, you are busy now mah. make it up to him when you're free-er... i am sure he will understand. afterall, he has his busy times also mah. cheer up ok? -
hot to measure if one treats another better
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nvr have a real relationship to seriously answer this question. But I tink I'll be a very boring bf if I have a relationship. Going to sch everyday cos of cca work, very very indoor person, prefers technology to sports, gets depressions easily, hard to find a gal with similar interests to me
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Same here man...Originally posted by TooFree:No gf...
And I have that feeling that I shouldn't be attached... like my life is not meant for anyone else to enter... and yet... i still yearn for company... confusing... -
It's not confusing, you just need to find the right person and it happens that the right person has not appeared yet.Originally posted by DrTech:Same here man...
And I have that feeling that I shouldn't be attached... like my life is not meant for anyone else to enter... and yet... i still yearn for company... confusing... -
Originally posted by rainee:As in like you dun think you deserve your partner?
You know he/she treats you better than you treat him/her, you want to love him/her more...but maybe due to time constraint or other reason, you couldn't give as much attention to him as he has been giving to you.
Anyone felt this way before? Originally posted by BrUtUs:yup, me here... i feel i cant give her the things she deserve... Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:Sure. I wish I can do more for him. But maybe cos I'm tired liao, so I tend not to have the same sort of exuberance and put in the same amount of effort towards relationships as he does.
But I guess its a trade off. He did not get the more naive, always giving in, waiting, doing-small-things-for-you-all-the-time girl that I was when I was younger.
But that girl during that time happened to be less evolved too - more insecure, less confident, and because of that, more prone to tantrums, and need a lot more reassurance. At least that was what my exs would complain about.
So... I think he deserves someone who has a fresher view towards relationships, but.. oh well, its as good as it gets.Originally posted by laosu:That sounds very much like me....
I've always tot I'm a good partner but then it seemed like most of the time she is actually the one giving in to me.Originally posted by Simple_Bear:I never realize hw bad I was as a bf until we broke off... Originally posted by starblue:i know that i wun be a good gf lah... i am too troublesome.
So are you people going to do anything about it?Originally posted by chanff8:nvr have a real relationship to seriously answer this question. But I tink I'll be a very boring bf if I have a relationship. Going to sch everyday cos of cca work, very very indoor person, prefers technology to sports, gets depressions easily, hard to find a gal with similar interests to me
Cheers -
Spend more time with him during holiday timeOriginally posted by Yunhaier:So are you people going to do anything about it?
Cheers -
Hmm...Originally posted by rainee:As in like you dun think you deserve your partner?
You know he/she treats you better than you treat him/her, you want to love him/her more...but maybe due to time constraint or other reason, you couldn't give as much attention to him as he has been giving to you.
Anyone felt this way before?