just broke up with my gf...
-
Finally you have see the light. I can see from the post that you have finally straighten out your thinking. I will leave the rest to you. Do the right thing. Take care of your mum as she needs all the help and strength from you and all the best for your exams.Originally posted by gustowind:thanks zeny for the advice.. i'm off to jurong east.. going to wander there.. get myself a few good books to read...
meeting my mom later for dinner there too...
will update you guys on how i'm getting on later in the evening...
my exams on 8,9 dec..
need to accompany my mom for appointment in NUH on 6,7 dec..
last 2 weeks mom was hospitalised cos of infection and acute stress reaction ( she did not have enough red blood cells in her body, normal signs of kidney failure )
so i guess this weekend is the only time to study...
thanks so much CuriousOrange and Zeny .. sorry if i left out the rest of the guys.. but thanks everyone so much...
if you're new to this post, feel free to add ur comments and views..
appreciate ur advice very much
regards ,
gust of wind
PS: i think i'm a naive , do little-things- to -please-her type of guy ... and she wanted a mature guy to take care of the family... ( not that i can't be one , just did tell her i've been saving $ for our marriage all this while.. what's the point.. will look like a real loser if she sees all this but all done is done.. ) -
No point sulking over broken eggs man...Originally posted by gustowind:damn... just saw TAKA jewllery ad on tv and wanted to get her a XMAS gift...
* must ask my brain to stop thinking abt all these things.. *
think i'm going to go bonkers soon..
hi kevinaldinho,
guess you must have hurt more than me..
anyways i'm really caught in a fix right now..
the breakup
my exams
needing to take care of my mom ( she needs to do the dialysis every night and i have to be at home to take care or look after her )
(worse thing is i'm supposed to bring my tuition student out on sunday for a buffet dinner.. no mood to go also have to go.. then they'll ask me "why you never bring your gf? " dunno how to answer my students..)
regards,
gust of wind
There are many other things that need your attention now like what u highlighted, your mum, exams, giving tution etc....
Trust me do well and do your best for your exams...
I have a army fren who told me he purposely flunked his 'A' Levels so that he can take his 'A' level with his GF who's in JC1 while he's in JC2. End up when they broke up, he told this to the gal but guess wat the gal said??
"I didn't ask you to do that for me"
Damm hurting blow, worse then a knife to the heart...
If the gal is for you, wateva u do she will like it and feel happy.
If she has no more feelings for you or has a change of heart, wateva u do will never be able to please her...
Whatever it is, Remember dun look back. Look ahead and walk on man!!
Live your life better than you did before... Don't let her think your life is gone without her, since she doesn't care now... Find someone who will appreciate you for wat you do for her. -
The next relationship starts before you met her.Originally posted by gustowind:can you dispense somemore advice on how to prepare for the next r'ship?
Looks
Exercise often. Hitting the gym or swimming frequently is a good idea. Fix a schedule and work out often to get a better looking body and improved posture.
Stock up on some hair and skin products and cologne that suit you. While your aim is not to enter Mr. Universe competition, you have to let people notice that you know how to take care of yourself properly. A neat and clean appearance is the way to go.
Money and Power
Do some serious thinking about your career aspirations and how you are going to achieve them. A common interview question that sprang to my mind right now…”where do you see yourself in 5 years/10 years time and what have you done so far to realize that aspiration?”
Notice why people like asking this question? People in general like someone who has a plan and knows where they are heading in their life. Allocate more time to your studies and read up more on investment books which can give you more information on managing your finances properly.
Confidence
Improvement on your looks and finances would have done wonders to your confidence. However, confidence alone will not get you dates. You need to improve on your conversation skills, which is the difficult part.
What works for me might not have the same effect on you. A few days after I was dumped by my ex., my bros arrange a sarge session. We went over to Zouk and had a competition. We went to random girls in the house and hit on them and tried to get their numbers. The loser (the one who get the least numbers) will win free drinks from all the other bros. We are not learning to be players or jerks here. The idea is to get used to rejections from women and have fun at the same time.
Imagine one day when you see Mrs. Gustowind walking on the street, how would you feel if you missed out just because you donÂ’t know how to approach and strike up a convo? Rejection is better than regret.
Passion
You must have a passion in your lifeÂ…something you like to do and can continue doing for the rest of your life. Live out your dreams. A man who has passion and dreams is never boring. He is always working on some projects he thinks is important regardless what others say. His life is buzzing and people are drawn by the enthusiasm he displayed.
Getting a girl is not the success.
Getting a girl who is willing to accommodate your passions and dreams Â…that is the real success a man can have. A relationship will never lack excitement when 2 parties can work together and explore new things to do.
Never lose that passion in your life just because she wants you to
Make this a motto in your life
“The day I lose my passion will be the day I lose happiness and pride of myself as a man. No woman can replace that.”
Be willing to walk away rather than compromise.
And many moons later, Mrs. Gustowind will sit down with all your grandchildren and tell them, “ I met your Grandpa 50 years ago, it was love at the first sight!”
But you know she is wrong, the relationship started before you met her. -
hi guys,
thanks so much,
special thanks to zeny, curious orange for your advice
I got a question here, she's very very angry that i keep messaging her,
she told me to stay out of her life, to leave her alone and stop bugging her..
Should I keep in contact with her a few months later?
Or should I completely keep a distance from her?
it's kinda embarassing cos we're in the same church but different building
( we're in the same church, I'm in the chinese side, was english side with her cos now my mom just became christian then I bringing her to chinese side, thinking of staying at chinese side now.. )
Please dun flame me for being stupid ,why she say keep away then still wan to continue to keep in contact, I just want to be a friend , it was her who helped me know Christ and let me know God by bringing me to her church, I am thankful to her for that and I want to keep the friendship, unless she thinks too much and might think that I still want to linger around her then I think I can forget about the idea.
She also mentioned one thing that my sms are too excessive to the point she feels she have to report everything to me.. guess I am wrong too ...
many reflections to do here...
Thanks for all the advice again..
regards,
Gust of Wind -
of topic awhile.. seems like Ferguson is always very happy about other's agony or wat.. there is karma.. maybe someday something the same way will happen to Ferguson..
-
Listen to what she says...Originally posted by gustowind:I got a question here, she's very very angry that i keep messaging her,
she told me to stay out of her life, to leave her alone and stop bugging her..
Please dun flame me for being stupid ,why she say keep away then still wan to continue to keep in contact
Womanese: "I don't want a relationship but let's keep in contact. We can still be friends"
Observe what she does...
She flares up and tells you that you are not susposed to call her at all...
Your friendship with her is limited to smses and giving her attention when she needs it.
Any problems you are facing now is irrelevant to her...she isn't interested to know.
Therefore, what she actually meant is:
" I don't want to be the bad guy here who ends a relationship in a ruthless manner. That will harm my reputation since we have common friends.
But I hope he will get the hint and stay away from me because he is ruining my chance with this cute guy I met at blah blah blah.
I wish he can just disappear from my life..that would make things much simpler for me"
Always pay more attention to their actions..talk is cheap.
So wise up and do the right thing. -
well dude.. now shes in this sort of mood, no matter what u or anyone says, with or without logic, wont be able to go inside her hea de.. i suggest tat stay away from her for a while first.. to let things die down.. then a few months later, send a sms to ask her out for dinner.. if shes ok, tat means u can still keep her as a friend.. if not.. too bad.. u should know wat to do..Originally posted by gustowind:hi guys,
thanks so much,
special thanks to zeny, curious orange for your advice
I got a question here, she's very very angry that i keep messaging her,
she told me to stay out of her life, to leave her alone and stop bugging her..
Should I keep in contact with her a few months later?
Or should I completely keep a distance from her?
it's kinda embarassing cos we're in the same church but different building
( we're in the same church, I'm in the chinese side, was english side with her cos now my mom just became christian then I bringing her to chinese side, thinking of staying at chinese side now.. )
Please dun flame me for being stupid ,why she say keep away then still wan to continue to keep in contact, I just want to be a friend , it was her who helped me know Christ and let me know God by bringing me to her church, I am thankful to her for that and I want to keep the friendship, unless she thinks too much and might think that I still want to linger around her then I think I can forget about the idea.
She also mentioned one thing that my sms are too excessive to the point she feels she have to report everything to me.. guess I am wrong too ...
many reflections to do here...
Thanks for all the advice again..
regards,
Gust of Wind
cheers..
binz~ -
Be strong and don't let her memory control your life anymore. It's quite over from what I see, and your Mom needs you to be strong for yourself and her too.
-
Friend,
the real problem lies in you not the girl.
reflect on your actions. you are looking so desperate here. no girls would want to be with someone like that.
Move on.
Problem lies in you, not her.
Her interest level has died. -
girls braek off only got 20 reaons
1)you no money to spend on them and yourself
2)you no looks or neat clean look
3)your girl like other people attention better than you can give them
4)your girl wan someting you cannot giv (like a long kukubird)
5)you got caught in your pc watching porn (girls oso like to watch but fake disgusted to act innocent so u oso have to fake and say your best frend send you 1)
6)you no style cos you are goody lady boy
7)you dont smoke and hate people smoking(girls oso like to fake hate smoke but deep inside they think is cool if you quit smoke for them they will lose interest ha)
you no buy presents and flower everytime to make them happy
9)you dount treat them sometimes
10)you secretly look at other girls(actually they oso look at other girls so you must look dareingly and ask thier opinion so they wont suspect you of cheating them because of your sneaky shy fak face)
11)girls that have alot of of boys around them and she like to choose and compare which is better(but actually you are spare part if they find nicer cooler gt-wing they will throw you away so identify 1st whether you are irritating spare parts)
12)you are scared of heights or littering to everyting(because girls dont like faggots)
13)you are dull and not interesting(you always try to make some cold funny jokes that you laugh yourself and you tink hokkien and bad word like lanjioa and cheebie is crude forgetting you have 1 crude stick yourself)
14)you are aggresive(means you want the world to show ppl your nice girl and give cold stare at people that look hornyly at them on mrts show you are aggresive and unopen becoase you are such a weak no confindent fak deep down)
15)you dont style your hair and you dont stlye yourself you tink you are rugged and cool but to them you are a dirty lazy fak
16)you are not ironic like them so you dont suit them and color that dun match they throw away
17)you always want to touch their brests and butts secretly but you always act justice and upright
1you dont irritate them enough by saying other girls nicer and prettier because you are afriad of losing them/ making them angry cos you are a no confident weak fak deep down(they get angry but they will make themself prettier to you if not they really wan to lose u ha too late)
19)you lie often and untactfuly
20)you get jealous of them toking to other guys cos you a really a weak no confident faggot deep down really,. then they will make you more jealous and see your stupid reaction by kissing or faking other guys -
hi Binz,
how many months later do u think i should sms her?
we break up this dec.. nxt year feb? i'm in same church as her.. wat if i meet her by chance?
dun want her to think i'm stalking her..
wat should i say or do when i happen to bump into her?
regards,
gust of wind -
curious orange, she said she dun want to be with me anymore , so stop buging her and leave her alone,
so i'll not sms or contact her anymore?
or wait a few months to sms her again?
regards,
gust of wind -
Stop thinking about what she wants...I need you to think about what YOU want and what you hope to get from this "friendship" thing with her.Originally posted by gustowind:curious orange, she said she dun want to be with me anymore , so stop buging her and leave her alone,
so i'll not sms or contact her anymore?
or wait a few months to sms her again?
regards,
gust of wind
Like what I said in my previous post...
She flares up and tells you that you are not susposed to call her at all...
Your friendship with her is limited to smses and giving her attention when she needs it.
Any problems you are facing now is irrelevant to her...she isn't interested to know.
Is that what friendship is susposed to be?
You have to be honest with yourself...if any of your friends treated you like sh!t and don't give you respect...you WILL walk away! So why should she be different if she wants to be a friend?
You are treating her different because you still harbour some thoughts of eventually patching up with her. I'm sorry to bust your balls...it's not going to happen.
Next time you see her in church, give her a friendly nod and a smile...nothing more unless she initiates convo with you.
I will not attempt to contact her anymore. If someone treats me the way she did...she is not a friend. -
I think you really should take this opportunity to REORGANISE YOUR LIFE...Originally posted by gustowind:...thanks for ur advice curious orange...
seems to me my ex was the most perfect one for me right now.. can't blame me for thinking this way.. it's not even 24 hrs .. i'm being delirius i think..
going bonkers soon... no amount of counterstrike or christian songs and refocus my mind.. *sigh*
thanks for the pubbing advice though, but i dun go
maybe i'll drown myself in working hard the next year...
can you dispense somemore advice on how to prepare for the next r'ship?
this was my 1st.. wanted to make it my last.. but guess i was too naive abt things..
regards,
gust of wind
And don't bother yourself too much with a 'next relationship'... When it comes, just take it with an OPEN HEART...?
-
[quote]Originally posted by gustowind:
[b]thanks zeny for the advice.. i'm off to jurong east.. going to wander there.. get myself a few good books to read...
meeting my mom later for dinner there too...
will update you guys on how i'm getting on later in the evening...
my exams on 8,9 dec..
need to accompany my mom for appointment in NUH on 6,7 dec..
last 2 weeks mom was hospitalised cos of infection and acute stress reaction ( she did not have enough red blood cells in her body, normal signs of kidney failure )
so i guess this weekend is the only time to study...
thanks so much CuriousOrange and Zeny .. sorry if i left out the rest of the guys.. but thanks everyone so much...
if you're new to this post, feel free to add ur comments and views..
appreciate ur advice very much
regards ,
gust of wind
Yo Gust of wind
Im a newbie to this thread.Well Bro, .been sumwhat in ur case as well but how is ur mom now? Ur exams lat week..how ddi they go? Hope all ok man.
Well, if I can give u sum encouragement..I noe how it feels man..de rejection, de aching heart n pain n if u listen to mandarin love songs..siow liow! dun go there..
I hope u had more or less survive the "aftermath"..let it go.we are men so we lead n if u see ur ex nex time..jsu smile n say Hi..
so hang in there N be strong...a better one wll come around.TIME HEALS. -
How true is the above statement? If the love is cool off, that means in the first place, there is no true love?Originally posted by dragg:count yourself lucky. not even married yet and the love already cool off. that means there is actually no true love at all. -
Some of the comments below were so uncalled for.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by froz:girls braek off only got 20 reaons
1)you no money to spend on them and yourself
2)you no looks or neat clean look
3)your girl like other people attention better than you can give them
4)your girl wan someting you cannot giv (like a long kukubird)
5)you got caught in your pc watching porn (girls oso like to watch but fake disgusted to act innocent so u oso have to fake and say your best frend send you 1)
6)you no style cos you are goody lady boy
7)you dont smoke and hate people smoking(girls oso like to fake hate smoke but deep inside they think is cool if you quit smoke for them they will lose interest ha)you no buy presents and flower everytime to make them happy
9)you dount treat them sometimes
10)you secretly look at other girls(actually they oso look at other girls so you must look dareingly and ask thier opinion so they wont suspect you of cheating them because of your sneaky shy fak face)
11)girls that have alot of of boys around them and she like to choose and compare which is better(but actually you are spare part if they find nicer cooler gt-wing they will throw you away so identify 1st whether you are irritating spare parts)
12)you are scared of heights or littering to everyting(because girls dont like faggots)
13)you are dull and not interesting(you always try to make some cold funny jokes that you laugh yourself and you tink hokkien and bad word like lanjioa and cheebie is crude forgetting you have 1 crude stick yourself)
14)you are aggresive(means you want the world to show ppl your nice girl and give cold stare at people that look hornyly at them on mrts show you are aggresive and unopen becoase you are such a weak no confindent fak deep down)
15)you dont style your hair and you dont stlye yourself you tink you are rugged and cool but to them you are a dirty lazy fak
16)you are not ironic like them so you dont suit them and color that dun match they throw away
17)you always want to touch their brests and butts secretly but you always act justice and upright
1you dont irritate them enough by saying other girls nicer and prettier because you are afriad of losing them/ making them angry cos you are a no confident weak fak deep down(they get angry but they will make themself prettier to you if not they really wan to lose u ha too late)
19)you lie often and untactfuly
20)you get jealous of them toking to other guys cos you a really a weak no confident faggot deep down really,. then they will make you more jealous and see your stupid reaction by kissing or faking other guys -
unless she contacts u, dun need to have anything more to do with her. give yourself some time to healOriginally posted by gustowind:curious orange, she said she dun want to be with me anymore , so stop buging her and leave her alone,
so i'll not sms or contact her anymore?
or wait a few months to sms her again?
regards,
gust of wind -
Dear TLK,
Love cooling off doesn't necessarily mean that there was No true love in the 1st place. Many people have this naive belief that true love should last forever & that true love must be blind. This so doesn't happen unless you meet somebody equally naive, which is how we have people sticking to their abusive spouses.
What I'm saying is: there may have been true love in the beginning, but it CAN be eroded by disappointments, abuse, etc etc etc...
True love doesn't always last forever, but the feelings may have been real.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by The_Legend_Killer:How true is the above statement? If the love is cool off, that means in the first place, there is no true love? -
ha...the above is veri the interesting....Some r quite funni...ha...froz, r u a guy or gal? how come u noe gals break off becoz 4 these reasons onli...haOriginally posted by froz:girls braek off only got 20 reaons
1)you no money to spend on them and yourself
2)you no looks or neat clean look
3)your girl like other people attention better than you can give them
4)your girl wan someting you cannot giv (like a long kukubird)
5)you got caught in your pc watching porn (girls oso like to watch but fake disgusted to act innocent so u oso have to fake and say your best frend send you 1)
6)you no style cos you are goody lady boy
7)you dont smoke and hate people smoking(girls oso like to fake hate smoke but deep inside they think is cool if you quit smoke for them they will lose interest ha)you no buy presents and flower everytime to make them happy
9)you dount treat them sometimes
10)you secretly look at other girls(actually they oso look at other girls so you must look dareingly and ask thier opinion so they wont suspect you of cheating them because of your sneaky shy fak face)
11)girls that have alot of of boys around them and she like to choose and compare which is better(but actually you are spare part if they find nicer cooler gt-wing they will throw you away so identify 1st whether you are irritating spare parts)
12)you are scared of heights or littering to everyting(because girls dont like faggots)
13)you are dull and not interesting(you always try to make some cold funny jokes that you laugh yourself and you tink hokkien and bad word like lanjioa and cheebie is crude forgetting you have 1 crude stick yourself)
14)you are aggresive(means you want the world to show ppl your nice girl and give cold stare at people that look hornyly at them on mrts show you are aggresive and unopen becoase you are such a weak no confindent fak deep down)
15)you dont style your hair and you dont stlye yourself you tink you are rugged and cool but to them you are a dirty lazy fak
16)you are not ironic like them so you dont suit them and color that dun match they throw away
17)you always want to touch their brests and butts secretly but you always act justice and upright
1you dont irritate them enough by saying other girls nicer and prettier because you are afriad of losing them/ making them angry cos you are a no confident weak fak deep down(they get angry but they will make themself prettier to you if not they really wan to lose u ha too late)
19)you lie often and untactfuly
20)you get jealous of them toking to other guys cos you a really a weak no confident faggot deep down really,. then they will make you more jealous and see your stupid reaction by kissing or faking other guys -
wad u sae is sensible..esp part 6,11,13,18,19 and 20..its happened to my frens..sobx...Originally posted by froz:girls braek off only got 20 reaons
1)you no money to spend on them and yourself
2)you no looks or neat clean look
3)your girl like other people attention better than you can give them
4)your girl wan someting you cannot giv (like a long kukubird)
5)you got caught in your pc watching porn (girls oso like to watch but fake disgusted to act innocent so u oso have to fake and say your best frend send you 1)
6)you no style cos you are goody lady boy
7)you dont smoke and hate people smoking(girls oso like to fake hate smoke but deep inside they think is cool if you quit smoke for them they will lose interest ha)you no buy presents and flower everytime to make them happy
9)you dount treat them sometimes
10)you secretly look at other girls(actually they oso look at other girls so you must look dareingly and ask thier opinion so they wont suspect you of cheating them because of your sneaky shy fak face)
11)girls that have alot of of boys around them and she like to choose and compare which is better(but actually you are spare part if they find nicer cooler gt-wing they will throw you away so identify 1st whether you are irritating spare parts)
12)you are scared of heights or littering to everyting(because girls dont like faggots)
13)you are dull and not interesting(you always try to make some cold funny jokes that you laugh yourself and you tink hokkien and bad word like lanjioa and cheebie is crude forgetting you have 1 crude stick yourself)
14)you are aggresive(means you want the world to show ppl your nice girl and give cold stare at people that look hornyly at them on mrts show you are aggresive and unopen becoase you are such a weak no confindent fak deep down)
15)you dont style your hair and you dont stlye yourself you tink you are rugged and cool but to them you are a dirty lazy fak
16)you are not ironic like them so you dont suit them and color that dun match they throw away
17)you always want to touch their brests and butts secretly but you always act justice and upright
1you dont irritate them enough by saying other girls nicer and prettier because you are afriad of losing them/ making them angry cos you are a no confident weak fak deep down(they get angry but they will make themself prettier to you if not they really wan to lose u ha too late)
19)you lie often and untactfuly
20)you get jealous of them toking to other guys cos you a really a weak no confident faggot deep down really,. then they will make you more jealous and see your stupid reaction by kissing or faking other guys
u managed to put it in a humorous manner..a job well-done i muz say.. -
Not everyone has the same perception as u. Some of them may prefer independent from their partners, like you don't have to see/meetup or chat on phone daily or every alternate days.Originally posted by gustowind:then i realised that if you truly love each other couples can't wait to see each other, correct me if i'm wrong..
Just move on and you will find the right type of girl in the near future.
Remember the keyword is treasure and faithful. -
Hey GustofWind,
I jus broke up too 4 mths ago...n it was a 5 yrs relationsHip..I knOw how hard is it to go thru dis kind of thing..i was depressed..i felt like e onli thing dat keeps me going thru e days was gone...in another words..theres no meaning for me to live on..but hey..life do moves on...im still struggling to stand up but at least ive opened my eyes..dat i dont live for him...n it's true..this break up opens up to even more opportunities which will be better ones..
i cant tell u what to do to stop thinking about her but i will tell u wad i did to avoid thinking about him.. i keep myself as busy as possible...i jus keep working n working n think dat theres sumone out there whos for me whos even better den him..whenever i didnt work..i wud go out..regardless wetha its with my frens or alone..its better den staying at home...cos e silence at home was killing me..if im too tired to go out or cant b bothered going out.. i wud call my frens n chat awy...oR the best thing is..SLEEP..when u wake up..u will feel a tad better... another 2 things i think make me feel better was to eattt haha and shop of course..pamper myself..n not forgetting going clubbing on e weekends..get to noe new frens...hang out and when u r having fun..u will realise dat u didnt even think of her at all..
BOTTOM LINE...Do not b by urself..find sumone to talk to if not..keep urslf real busy or jus sLEEP..oh another good idea...
GO ON A SHORT HOLIDAY AND RELAX....IF ur lucky u mite even get someone else frm e trip
n btw, pls la..take care of ur mom..wish i was in sg..mebe i cud help u out wen u needed a hand..but u take care too..u shud relli b thnkin of ur mom now instead of her..n btw, i suggest u do not sms her or call her..since she dun care oso den Fuk her la..leave her alone..u haf to shOw her that u r happier without her!!!!
Take care hey ^_^
rmbr...a failure makes u an even stronger person