Broken feeling..
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Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances? -
Chances are always there if u know how to grasp it properly. about the numerous trees notion, it is rite that one should not be too narrow and then miss out someone important , maybe much more than the former one. But then it all depend on ur sense of love for him...how deep u think ur love is for him. It cannot be answered clearly with juz mere words of assurance....prove it to him that ur love is real and convert these flaws to strength. Uncertainty is always there, regardless of how hard we deny or even harder we try. AT least we can brave it and say i haf try my best and haf no regrets...the rest is up to fate and maybe him....be stronger and unleash the power of one's faith. Sorri for the long post...life is like tat ..i too encountering problems tat things we hoped for doesn't come out as expected.....but i believe everyone haf too.....
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He made it so clear liao, said u this and that no good.
Asking u to give up la.
Ya la, go concentrate on ur studies. If u are really childish, then give urself time to grow up. Know ur priority. -
Today you bad mood ah?Originally posted by browniebaobao:He made it so clear liao, said u this and that no good.
Asking u to give up la.
Ya la, go concentrate on ur studies. If u are really childish, then give urself time to grow up. Know ur priority.
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its all part and parcel of growing up..soon you'll get over him..in fact if u concentrate on ur studies its even easier..
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i was like u two mths back... asking him to meet me, calling him every week.Originally posted by lil_pinkie:Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances?
some people can take up breakup easily.. some dun.. like me.
same like u, i did asked abt my future wif him, he also said.. leave it to fate.. and asked to do what i should do now.... I dun know what is his thinking...
i know obivously he doesnt wan to talk abt us now..... I really dun know wat is in his mind. how i wish i could know....
i hate the uncertainty... but no choice. certain things need two hands to clap.
it might sound nice .. but when u actually facing the breakup it is HARD To let it go....... -
since you're a student, he's done the right thing to tell you to work hard... this ex of yours is mature and forward looking. he knows what he wants in the future but it seems that you're only looking at the moment of fun...he's right, time for you to grow up. you do not want to end like the majority of citizens struggling to live a good life....Originally posted by lil_pinkie:Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances? -
no ar. where got?Originally posted by M©+square:Today you bad mood ah?
coz i have been thru that before mah, i know all the comfort all tat no use de, she has to wake up herself. -
Just wondering if he has beddded you.
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shld i be lucky to have this happening or sad tt i'm gg thru these tough time..
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You sound exactly like my buddy's GF..Originally posted by lil_pinkie:Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances?
exactly the same thing..
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u shld feel lucky... u hav a v.understanding (boy)friend... i noe it will b difficult 2 conc on other tinks wif him on ur mind but u really gotta... make him c e change in u den it will b ur fortune if he gets back wif u but if not... its also ur fortune dat u got rid of a lying jerk who can cook up pretty excuses jus 2 get rid of u...Originally posted by lil_pinkie:shld i be lucky to have this happening or sad tt i'm gg thru these tough time.. -
Originally posted by life2121:u shld feel lucky... u hav a v.understanding (boy)friend... i noe it will b difficult 2 conc on other tinks wif him on ur mind but u really gotta... make him c e change in u den it will b ur fortune if he gets back wif u but if not... its also ur fortune dat u got rid of a lying jerk who can cook up pretty excuses jus 2 get rid of u...
Buzzer. -
silly ger.. who will think going through a breakup is a fortunate thing? ur ex might not be able to return to ur side in future.......Originally posted by lil_pinkie:shld i be lucky to have this happening or sad tt i'm gg thru these tough time..
i dun know how u see it.... but to me, it is VERY unfortunate thing to happen -
Take care.... dun think so much.... let time numb e pain. Maybe it is fate that u will find someone better for u
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PERSONALLY... I'll say.. Let's not talk about 'chances'...Originally posted by lil_pinkie:Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances?
You know YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS.. You even LISTED THEM DOWN... And you ain't doing anything to CHANGE them for the better...
It has ALREADY CAUSED you your BF NOW...
So YOU gonna do SOMETHING about THEM...
Or are you just gonna be sitting down there and 'hope' for the better to come to you...?
PS. If you wanna be LOVED. You have to 1st... Be LOVABLE. -
WooHOO!!!!!Originally posted by Devil1976:PERSONALLY... I'll say.. Let's not talk about 'chances'...
You know YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS.. You even LISTED THEM DOWN... And you ain't doing anything to CHANGE them for the better...
It has ALREADY CAUSED you your BF NOW...
So YOU gonna do SOMETHING about THEM...
Or are you just gonna be sitting down there and 'hope' for the better to come to you...?
PS. If you wanna be LOVED. You have to 1st... Be LOVABLE. -
Lets switch roles for once and see from your bf point of view.Originally posted by lil_pinkie:Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances?
Just lighten up a bit and listern from your bf side of the story.
Imagine you are your bf and is working hard for a life together with a gf like you. You as a guy works hard for the money for your gf to spend. You see your gf always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking and slack in her studies. You ask yourself why my gf be someone who cannot take care of herself and I always have to worry for her. Once, twice and so many times I have asked her to change for the better but she just refuse to change.
Soon you feel tired and lost hope in your gf. The worst part is that she even bug you to meet up when you are working and she even dare to ask if about the future when she cannot even do well in her basic studies.
Since your role now is your bf what would you do ? Keep saying your gf will change and hope for the best? Come on be more realistic. Will you ever chose a girl like that if you will the guy?
I am not saying you cannot slack in your studies. Is your choice in life to do that but your bf has chosen that unless you improve yourself he will not take you back. Your bf is actually helping you see the road ahead. He knows if you continue on this path it will only led to a worst future for both of you.
So if you ask me what your chances are, this is my answer.
1) If you put in effort to show him that you are willing to work hard, your chances is around 70%
2) If you continue to slack or always want to win, your chances is 0%
Is your choice in life, so chose carefully and wisely. -
What do you think & want to do next?Originally posted by lil_pinkie:Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances? -
Low.
Honestly.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by lil_pinkie:Hi All, I felt broken. I know puttin this topic up, the most common reply is "to give up, look for a better one.." But, how wld u really take it? Wldnt one try his/her very best till it seems impossible anymore? ...
Bf broke up w/ me... for I've been bugging him these weeks for a meet up, outing etc when he is (really) bz @ wrk. ~I only realised I've been too demanding now..~
@ the same time, he sees that Im not serious with my studies, -slack, skip class etc.. He places very high expectation on me n my studies for he says I can do well but Im not putting in effort. Other side issues are my attitude - always wan to win, childish, speak without thinking..
With all these reason he claimed, I felt I failed my role as a student, a proper girl, a gf..
He wanted to be fren nw. When i asked abt being together in future, he cldnt ans... he just say, "go do what u shld do right nw, abt future - tok nxt time"
Tho it dun actually look that hopeless and bad.. but the uncertainty is worrying.. I know there'r flaw with me.. I asked why he cldnt go thru these with me, he said I've gone from bad to worst.. Hardly anyone can be so patient with me...
What are my chances? -
not surprising la. men and their common answers.Originally posted by Mao x 2:You sound exactly like my buddy's GF..
exactly the same thing.. -
come on, look at the positive side.Originally posted by -ohyeah-:silly ger.. who will think going through a breakup is a fortunate thing? ur ex might not be able to return to ur side in future.......
i dun know how u see it.... but to me, it is VERY unfortunate thing to happen
if he is the wrong one, dun let him deter u from looking for the right one.
no matter how unfortunate it is, u do gain an experience and learn something from it. -
i think what she has to do now is to dun care about what he said for the time being, recalling everytime will make her feel the hurt again.Originally posted by Devil1976:PERSONALLY... I'll say.. Let's not talk about 'chances'...
You know YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS.. You even LISTED THEM DOWN... And you ain't doing anything to CHANGE them for the better...
It has ALREADY CAUSED you your BF NOW...
So YOU gonna do SOMETHING about THEM...
Or are you just gonna be sitting down there and 'hope' for the better to come to you...?
PS. If you wanna be LOVED. You have to 1st... Be LOVABLE.
learn to love yourself first before you ask to be loved. if u dun even love urself, how to expect others to love u? -
If you are emotionally triggered by something a person does, the two of you are probably mirrors for each other. It may appear that you have opposing viewpoints, but internally you are probably very similar. One of you is acting out one side of the internal conflict, while the other one plays out the other side.
For example, one person may want more commitment in a relationship while the other wants more freedom. They become extremely polarized on this issue and truly believe that they want opposite things. However, if one person suddenly switches their position (the one who wanted commitment suddenly wants freedom) the other person almost always swings to the opposite polarity. The reason for this is that they are attempting to resolve an inner conflict they both have-the desire for closeness and security and the fear of entrapment.
Once people look inside and become more aware of their feelings, they often recognize that they have simply projected their inner conflict onto the outside world so that they could recognize and deal with it. If a person truly and unequivocally wants a committed relationship, he will simply attract another person who wants the same thing. If someone feels completely clear about wanting to explore being with many partners, he simply does it. By using the mirror process, you can recognize what you really feel and learn to be more honest with yourself. Once you recognize an internal conflict, you can ask the universe for help in resolving it and integrating your feelings.
Seeing the world as your mirror also gives you wonderful opportunities to receive positive feedback. Think of everything that you like and enjoy about your life right now. You created these things-they are also your mirrors. Think of the people you know whom you love, enjoy, respect and admire. They are your mirrors. They couldn't even be in your life if they didn't reflect you: you would not be able to recognize their positive qualities if you didn't have similar ones. Think of the people and animals that love you. They are a mirror of how you love yourself. If you have a home that you love, or a particular spot in nature that is very beautiful to you, it is a mirror of your own beauty. When you see beauty anywhere, it's a reflection of yourself. -
Somehow, I agree with Devil.Originally posted by browniebaobao:i think what she has to do now is to dun care about what he said for the time being, recalling everytime will make her feel the hurt again.
learn to love yourself first before you ask to be loved. if u dun even love urself, how to expect others to love u?
In a relationship, you have to give and take.
We are not talking about True Love over here. Coz it's really rare.
Not everyone can love unconditionally.
There will tend to be some expectations.
Would you want to be with a guy who is lazy and never bother to make any effort in the relationship. Even if you really love him?
Trust me, even if you really love him, you will also hope that he will just make more effort and treat you well, isn't it?
For her case, her BF is really a good guy.
My buddy is having the same problem too.
He is worried that he can't really support his GF in the future if she keep on slacking around and neglect her studies.
He even spare some time trying to give her revisions, but she just keep on giving excuses.
Even when he told her that if she's not interested in studying, at least go get a job and learn some skills.
But she told him that she wanted to study.
And yet she still didn't make any effort in her studies at all.
Sound familiar? Threadstarter.
I do not know if you are the same person I'm talking about.
My advice to you is, if you want this relationship back.
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
And not waiting for miracles to happen.