Hiding away. Sign of running away from reality?
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There are times when I wish I can just leave everything and go to a place where no one knows me and start everything new. Sometimes I just feel so tired of everything. Tired of breathing. Tired of opening my eyes. Tired of feeling. Tired of thinking. Tired of not knowing what to expect. I feel so exhuasted.
I have a gf who loves me and I love her deeply too but the things happening around us are simply too much for her to take and there's a possibility that she might just give up this near impossible r/s. I don't want this r/s to end and yet it hurts me to see her immersed in such great pressure.
Although time and time again she claims that she's still coping well with it but her tone tells me otherwise. I know she's just trying to calm me down. On the selfish side, I wish she'll leave with me to somewhere where no one knows us and be together forever but even that seemed like a fantasy which will never happen. I know she'll never be able to cast her family aside for me and I don't wish her to do that either, but it's just so hard to be together and yet apart.
What should I do? I love her and I wanna take care of her for the rest of her life. -
How come like sama sama....
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Yo bro solve things one step at a time try not to dream too much of escaping your fate.Originally posted by laosu:There are times when I wish I can just leave everything and go to a place where no one knows me and start everything new. Sometimes I just feel so tired of everything. Tired of breathing. Tired of opening my eyes. Tired of feeling. Tired of thinking. Tired of not knowing what to expect. I feel so exhuasted.
I have a gf who loves me and I love her deeply too but the things happening around us are simply too much for her to take and there's a possibility that she might just give up this near impossible r/s. I don't want this r/s to end and yet it hurts me to see her immersed in such great pressure.
Although time and time again she claims that she's still coping well with it but her tone tells me otherwise. I know she's just trying to calm me down. On the selfish side, I wish she'll leave with me to somewhere where no one knows us and be together forever but even that seemed like a fantasy which will never happen. I know she'll never be able to cast her family aside for me and I don't wish her to do that either, but it's just so hard to be together and yet apart.
What should I do? I love her and I wanna take care of her for the rest of her life.
Take things as it comes and never ever give up hope, once you start giving up everything ends.
Stop thinking or wishing that you can leave everything and run away. Is the sign of a coward act.
You claim that you love your gf but have you ever work hard for a life together?
Life give you tough times in order tyo treasure her. I recomand that you face the odds with her and fight for a better life for you and her.
Your gf is fighting hard why should you as a guy give up so easily? Be a man and show to your gf that she has made the right choice in chossing you as someone to depend on and not run or feel tired when the going gets tough. -
I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.
(Michael Jordan) -
what kind of problems are your girlfriend facing?
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Dear Laosu,
When somebody has loved the way you have, & struggled the way you have, you're bound to feel mentally & emotionally drained. Running away seems the best solution. Some may tell you, you can run but you can't hide. That's true. However, it doesn't hurt to drop that burden for awhile & Not face it, & allow your heart & mind to heal & face it later.
Why don't you go for a holiday or something?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by laosu:There are times when I wish I can just leave everything and go to a place where no one knows me and start everything new. Sometimes I just feel so tired of everything. Tired of breathing. Tired of opening my eyes. Tired of feeling. Tired of thinking. Tired of not knowing what to expect. I feel so exhuasted.
I have a gf who loves me and I love her deeply too but the things happening around us are simply too much for her to take and there's a possibility that she might just give up this near impossible r/s. I don't want this r/s to end and yet it hurts me to see her immersed in such great pressure.
Although time and time again she claims that she's still coping well with it but her tone tells me otherwise. I know she's just trying to calm me down. On the selfish side, I wish she'll leave with me to somewhere where no one knows us and be together forever but even that seemed like a fantasy which will never happen. I know she'll never be able to cast her family aside for me and I don't wish her to do that either, but it's just so hard to be together and yet apart.
What should I do? I love her and I wanna take care of her for the rest of her life. -
Lately I come to realised that I'm actually quite a selfish brat. I know we are facing problems and I'm thinking of taking her away from all that. I'll never leave her. Kill me to leave her. But then again, I don't have a choice if leaving is her wish right?Originally posted by zeny:Yo bro solve things one step at a time try not to dream too much of escaping your fate.
Take things as it comes and never ever give up hope, once you start giving up everything ends.
Stop thinking or wishing that you can leave everything and run away. Is the sign of a coward act.
You claim that you love your gf but have you ever work hard for a life together?
Life give you tough times in order tyo treasure her. I recomand that you face the odds with her and fight for a better life for you and her.
Your gf is fighting hard why should you as a guy give up so easily? Be a man and show to your gf that she has made the right choice in chossing you as someone to depend on and not run or feel tired when the going gets tough.
I'm working hard pal. I really am. For once in so many years I actually planned my own future, our future. -
1) Both our families don't know about this r/s and if they know they will surely go against it.Originally posted by dragg:what kind of problems are your girlfriend facing?
2) Both of us are 9hrs drive apart. She's Malaysian living in Malaysia and me Singaporead living in Singapore.
3) Her dad got into accident two months back and is still currently in hospital and she's there everyday and sleep there every night to look after her dad and time between me and her gets lesser and lesser. -
Yah...emotionally I'm drained and tired. Sometimes I did think of letting go of this r/s to free her from these problems and to let myself have a chance to breathe but then I know too that I love her too much and I can't lose her. I just wanna hang on.Originally posted by FeowFeow:Dear Laosu,
When somebody has loved the way you have, & struggled the way you have, you're bound to feel mentally & emotionally drained. Running away seems the best solution. Some may tell you, you can run but you can't hide. That's true. However, it doesn't hurt to drop that burden for awhile & Not face it, & allow your heart & mind to heal & face it later.
Why don't you go for a holiday or something?
FeowFeow
One thing I have to clarify is even if I'm very successful now and stable enough for her to depend on emotionally and financially, the problem will not go away until we get the blessing from both of our own family.
I did think of going for a holiday, but with her facing so many problems and for the past two months she's been staying (and I really mean sleeping there) in hospital everyday until her dad can be discharged from hospital (and god knows when). How can I go holiday without feeling guilty? How can I enjoy when she's suffering there?
If there's a choice, I'll rather go to her hometown to look for her and accompany her at the hospital everyday to look after her dad. But she simply won't let me and say it's not the right time for me to go over right now.
FF, I admit I'm scared. I'm scared that she's slowly drifting away from my grip. I'm starting to feel that I'm slowly losing her. I feel so stranded not able to make a step out. I don't know what I can do. I don't wanna give up this r/s and I know neither does she but the current situation is just not helping. -
i tot u are just attached.Originally posted by M©+square:How come like sama sama....
so fast gt problem liao ar? -
attached close to 4 years liao leh.Originally posted by browniebaobao:i tot u are just attached.
so fast gt problem liao ar?
Wrong info la. -
*Pats pats Laosu*
Actually, why is it that hard for your families to accept both of you?
I would think with her dad so sick now, he would wanna see her taken care of by a good guy?
FeowFeowOriginally posted by laosu:Yah...emotionally I'm drained and tired. Sometimes I did think of letting go of this r/s to free her from these problems and to let myself have a chance to breathe but then I know too that I love her too much and I can't lose her. I just wanna hang on.
One thing I have to clarify is even if I'm very successful now and stable enough for her to depend on emotionally and financially, the problem will not go away until we get the blessing from both of our own family.
I did think of going for a holiday, but with her facing so many problems and for the past two months she's been staying (and I really mean sleeping there) in hospital everyday until her dad can be discharged from hospital (and god knows when). How can I go holiday without feeling guilty? How can I enjoy when she's suffering there?
If there's a choice, I'll rather go to her hometown to look for her and accompany her at the hospital everyday to look after her dad. But she simply won't let me and say it's not the right time for me to go over right now.
FF, I admit I'm scared. I'm scared that she's slowly drifting away from my grip. I'm starting to feel that I'm slowly losing her. I feel so stranded not able to make a step out. I don't know what I can do. I don't wanna give up this r/s and I know neither does she but the current situation is just not helping. -
both of us already expected this even before we decide to be together and we are prepared to face this problem when we decide to give this love a chance.Originally posted by browniebaobao:i tot u are just attached.
so fast gt problem liao ar?
I never once complain about all these problems and neither did she but it's more like in the end she can't bear to see me go through all these and I can't bear to see her going through all these either. But we hanged on because of the love for each other. -
Brownie is not wrong. Me and my gf are officially together since end of july till now but I've known her for 4yrs and during these 4yrs we were very close soulmates. Maybe in a way the feelings for each other already started 4yrs ago and it's only until this year then we both discover the feeling.Originally posted by M©+square:attached close to 4 years liao leh.
Wrong info la. -
Winner never quit
Quitter never win..
You can get wat i meant? -
Yes, with her dad so sick now...he would wanna see her taken care of by a good guy...the thing is...I'll never be the good guy.Originally posted by FeowFeow:*Pats pats Laosu*
Actually, why is it that hard for your families to accept both of you? I would think with her dad so sick now, he would wanna see her taken care of by a good guy?
FeowFeow -
I blur liao.Originally posted by laosu:Brownie is not wrong. Me and my gf are officially together since end of july till now but I've known her for 4yrs and during these 4yrs we were very close soulmates. Maybe in a way the feelings for each other already started 4yrs ago and it's only until this year then we both discover the feeling.
bbb....clarify.
Cheers -
I know what you mean Vampire.Originally posted by VampireEB:Winner never quit
Quitter never win..
You can wat i meant?
I"m not a quitter but sometimes there are things which are just beyond my means. I'm prepared to try...to wait...even if it means to wait for years and decades.
But all I want is for my family and her family to give us both blessings. It's important to me. I'm a rat but I hate darkness. I love her and I wanna declare my love for her to the entire world. -
Why Not?
Unless you're a girl also, otherwise why couldn't you be the good guy?
I just don't understand
You obviously love her so much
FeowFeowOriginally posted by laosu:Yes, with her dad so sick now...he would wanna see her taken care of by a good guy...the thing is...I'll never be the good guy. -
THen go ahead and love her..Originally posted by laosu:I know what you mean Vampire.
I"m not a quitter but sometimes there are things which are just beyond my means. I'm prepared to try...to wait...even if it means to wait for years and decades.
But all I want is for my family and her family to give us both blessings. It's important to me. I'm a rat but I hate darkness. I love her and I wanna declare my love for her to the entire world.
be brave to fight against all obstacles....
Always fellow your heart...
hmm..parent are the one who give you life but they can't control over your love life.
So dun be too upset abt it..well i'd this problem before so u r not alone..
work hard and achieve the best for urself and prove to them that u can make it. -
fwah! so long liao ar..Originally posted by M©+square:attached close to 4 years liao leh.
Wrong info la.
but it's juz recently that I heard that u are attached.. hahahaOriginally posted by laosu:both of us already expected this even before we decide to be together and we are prepared to face this problem when we decide to give this love a chance.
I never once complain about all these problems and neither did she but it's more like in the end she can't bear to see me go through all these and I can't bear to see her going through all these either. But we hanged on because of the love for each other.
Actually I was asking M©+square why got problem, I tot they are just attached. And he replied me saying that they are together for 4 years liao.Originally posted by laosu:Brownie is not wrong. Me and my gf are officially together since end of july till now but I've known her for 4yrs and during these 4yrs we were very close soulmates. Maybe in a way the feelings for each other already started 4yrs ago and it's only until this year then we both discover the feeling.
Hmm laosu u also know her for 4 years ar?
hmm hmm making me blur also..
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Originally posted by laosu:There are times when I wish I can just leave everything and go to a place where no one knows me and start everything new. Sometimes I just feel so tired of everything. Tired of breathing. Tired of opening my eyes. Tired of feeling. Tired of thinking. Tired of not knowing what to expect. I feel so exhuasted.
I have a gf who loves me and I love her deeply too but the things happening around us are simply too much for her to take and there's a possibility that she might just give up this near impossible r/s. I don't want this r/s to end and yet it hurts me to see her immersed in such great pressure.
Although time and time again she claims that she's still coping well with it but her tone tells me otherwise. I know she's just trying to calm me down. On the selfish side, I wish she'll leave with me to somewhere where no one knows us and be together forever but even that seemed like a fantasy which will never happen. I know she'll never be able to cast her family aside for me and I don't wish her to do that either, but it's just so hard to be together and yet apart.
What should I do? I love her and I wanna take care of her for the rest of her life.
Sometimes, simply just love itself isn't enough to sustain a relationship. It produce the driving force, the reason for existence, but ultimately, how you want to decide for your own relationship depends largely on what you want to do with them... with love being the fuel of your vehicle.
Long distance relationship can be difficult, but until you submerge yourself into it, you will not know the full blow of this emotional fatigue that leeches you daily. You are feeling it now.
You are currently being exposed to these blast of problems that burns your heart and mind like a furnace. And no matter how altruistic one can be in Love, we are still govern by rudimentary laws in Love... which forcefully bring us back to reality despite granted heavenly wings by Love. We cannot think that Love itself is capable of making miracles, without understanding that this miracle can only be perform through a human medium... that's through our own freewill and decision.
This wanting to take care of her for the rest of your life is an eventual goal and because it is a distant goal, it belongs to utopia for now. Learn to take small steps and watch those steps you are taking. There is no point planning for a distance future WITHOUT clearing your path to ALLOW you the CONDITION that is conducive for this future to be reachable.
You stack your mess like a pile of misplaced papers. Be patient and work gradually through empathy and constant communication - that this relationship is BORN difficult and therefore, what you two are experiencing is exactly the thorns that were foreseen even before the birth of this BGR.
If you opt for a difficult relationship, the worst that could ever happen to you is to lose faith and courage. If you were to get discourage from the pile of misplaced paper, waiting for you to organise them - think about your girlfriend, who probably has MORE than just a pile of misplaced papers on her work desk.
ENCOURAGE each other to march forward. If this relationship should fall, it shouldn't be that of your doings or your will be cursed with regrets that cannot be dispelled.
P.S: There are times in life where we have to take lead. If we do not demonstrate strength in crisis, the weaker ones will surely crumble.
Cheers -
If I'm a girl, then I can't be the good person who can take care of her?Originally posted by FeowFeow:Why Not?
Unless you're a girl also, otherwise why couldn't you be the good guy?
I just don't understand You obviously love her so much
FeowFeow
Yah...love her enough to lay down my life for her and I really do mean it. -
I'm fully prepared to face both side's parents if I have to and will duely prove to them that I really do love her and it's not just love. I wanna take care of her for the rest of her life, protect her and do whatever is needed to give her a happy life. The problem is my gf thinks otherwise and for sure she's not prepared to let either side know.Originally posted by VampireEB:THen go ahead and love her..
be brave to fight against all obstacles....
Always fellow your heart...
hmm..parent are the one who give you life but they can't control over your love life.
So dun be too upset abt it..well i'd this problem before so u r not alone..
work hard and achieve the best for urself and prove to them that u can make it.
The biggest problem is, both of us share the same cousin although me and her are not in any way related by blood. If our relationship is being found out, not only our own family will be involved and simple to say the whole family tree will get involve. -
Ok...clarify...Originally posted by browniebaobao:Actually I was asking M©+square why got problem, I tot they are just attached. And he replied me saying that they are together for 4 years liao.
Hmm laosu u also know her for 4 years ar?
hmm hmm making me blur also..
I know her for 4yrs already and when I know her 4yrs back, I already fall in love with her but due to the distance between us and several other reasons I hold back the feelings. During these 4yrs that we know each other, despite the distance between us, she never failed to be around for me and same for me to her. Since I've put aside my feelings for her right from the beginning, the "relationship" between us seemed purely just friendship.
It's only until she came over mid June this year that the feelings seemed to be being dug up but I can't confirm the feelings yet. mid July I went over to her hometown and stayed for three weeks and during that period I'm more or less starting to suspect that the feelings that I've once put aside is slowly coming back and it's duely confirmed the day I'm back in Singapore and I decide to confess to her my feelings much to my delight that she actually had feelings for me too. That was end July.
Since then till now is already 4 mths and I went over to her hometown again during her b'day in September and it's during that trip that her dad got into an accident on the day I'm supposed to come back to Singapore. I stayed on another week not wanting to leave her to face the incident alone. I wanted to be by her side to support her and give as much help as I could to her and the family. But due to work, I only stayed on for another week and I have to come back to Singapore and since then the problem started to be more obvious.
I could understand that facing her dad's condition right now she'll be under a lot of pressures and no matter how cranky I am or how upset I am over her lack of communication with me, I never dare and will not voice it out to her afraid that it'll just add on more pressure on her.
But honestly, no matter how hard I try to be strong, I know there are times when I really need so burst out and yell. My temper now becomes errantic but even then I never throw my temper on her. Sometimes I really miss her too much and it doesn't help to sooth my temper when for days I tried to call her but she never once pick up the call and never reply my msg either. But according to my cousin who is also her cousin and she's very close to him, it seemed that I'm not the only person who tried to call her and she never picked up the call. That calls for some comfort but then there are still times when I'll really get upset. But whenever she picked up my call (finally), she never fails to brighten up my mood.
I'm still trying to cope despite the fact that it's being ongoing like this for two months.
Since then till now is already 4mths