quiet guy to not so quiet guy.....how?
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Haiz, it seems like I need real and serious solution for this question.
I am a quiet guy, not shy, from my point of view thats what i think. In times of job interview, project meeting, I do speak up.
However, the problem comes during outing, friends, group outing....this is when I will stay real quiet. UP in my mind, I have nothing to say....
I think i really need to change, and I really hope you guys here can help me.
I dun need to transform into a super noisy machine, I just wish I could at least be not so quiet......
Thankz -
So that u can get the girls right?
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talk crap.....
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There is nothing wrong for being a cool and quiet guy.
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but i am super duper quiet....thats the problem...
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you are not the only one.....Originally posted by PlayerKilled:but i am super duper quiet....thats the problem...
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My friends used to tell me that if I keep quiet, I look 'face black' and 'not happy'.Originally posted by PlayerKilled:but i am super duper quiet....thats the problem... -
PlayerKilled:
Well maybe you can practise by posting more in SGforums...
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whats the link? in posting more?[/quote]
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Practice Ur crapping skills in chit chat...
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People says I look like a quiet guy,but after a while,they always I'm not as quiet as I seem.
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juz b urself...
change for wat...
unless u hv an occupation dat requires u to tok, tok n tok...
sometimes being too noisy can b irritatin too... -
change for the better? if not I seems like anti-social
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a good conversationalist need no speak all the time, but listens actively. try getting involved in conversations by being interested and asking questions to find out more abt the topic your friends are discussing.
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jus b urself lor, there r over 6 billion ppl if every1 is a chatterbox, wouldnt tis world b v noisy?
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Hmm... are you sporty? Well, becoz i had frens which are very quiet but after they started sports, they became real noisy~
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i oso quiet. nothing to say, dun wanna crap. impt things den say. dats how i am.. u wan tok cok, jus say anything dat comes to mind lor.. but muz filter.
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eh...I am from sports CCA...
well, most of the time I speak only for important stuff....sometimes Lame stuff
and my lame stuff is damn lame as what my teacher told me.... -
you can't expect sadaam hussien to admit he was a tyrant and change for the better..you get what i mean...
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quiet good wat...
be the cool and mysterious guy in the group.
everygroup need someone like you.
ar bo those talkative people talk, who listen? -
I'm have the same prob as you. And I'm in a club cca...Originally posted by PlayerKilled:eh...I am from sports CCA...
well, most of the time I speak only for important stuff....sometimes Lame stuff
and my lame stuff is damn lame as what my teacher told me.... In my tuition centre, NONE of us talk to each other at all
Let me guess. If you go out with your friends in a group you tend to let the others chat among themselves and get lost in your own thoughts right?
My friends always suggest that I go out more, take part in group activites and stuff. For example, if you have a dog, go for dog training lessons, those that train in groups that kind. Or alternatively, you can also go for courses (Piano, computer courses etc.) and get to meet new friends.
Sometimes, you have to force yourself to socialise more... -
No sure if it helps...But for me...im kinda quiet when the company is not really making me interested. But when i get into the group that clicks...and get the engine rolling....its 7000rpm and going...i guess the atmosphere and the pple ard u makes a diff...u understand urself best...Can try mixing more with frens that click if u feel that u need to express urself more...Hope it helps...
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How abt joining our outings?
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That's the worse man. U need to be socialise in the society now!Originally posted by PlayerKilled:eh...I am from sports CCA...
well, most of the time I speak only for important stuff....sometimes Lame stuff
and my lame stuff is damn lame as what my teacher told me....
U got to learn to change at least abit. Lemmi tell u, i'm not the kind that will say "Nah its alright, quiet is cool!". Its juz like telling a fat person thaty "ohh its alright, you're not fat, juz big bone".
If u really want to change abit, then SPEAK UP! -
Player,
I used to have the same problem.
I can think of two possible reasons why you find it difficult to initiate conversations.
Lack of knowledge or interest in the subject
They talk about sports, fashion, investments or other hobbies and you have no clue what they are talking about.
Find some activities or topics that interest you. Widen your knowledge by reading up more on the topics so that you have a deeper understanding in them. When the opportunity arises, use your knowledge.
Or if you are already doing the above, then you might be mixing with the wrong audience. Simply find people who have the same interest as you.
Fear
Imagine you are giving a presentation to an audience and you come across a word that you donÂ’t know how to pronounceÂ…Are you likely to:
1) Avoid eye contact with your audience and whisper the word softly hoping that no one will hear you
OR
2) Say it loudly, you know itÂ’s wrong but you say it loudly anyway. Let them laugh about it because it doesnÂ’t bother you.
If the answer is (1), then your problem stems from your self-esteem and your confidence.
If you are shy, chances are that you are afraid of saying the wrong things because you fear how others will judge you. Their opinions about you bother you so much that you rather keep quiet than say the wrong things that might provoke a negative reaction.
To improve your confidence, go out there and practice.
The easiest place to start is to talk to those shop assistants in shopping malls. Ask them to give their opinions when you want to buy something.
Find all these people who are obligated to talk to you and practice on them.
General tips
1) Open–ended and closed-ended questions
During a conversation with someone..
You : “Do you like scuba diving?”
(this is a closed-ended question – he can only say “yes” or “no”)
Him : “Yes”
You : ”When was the last time you went diving and who did you went with?”
OR
You : “What is it that you like about diving?”
(these are open-ended questions – he will need to respond with his thoughts and opinions)
Use a mixture of open-ended and closed-ended questions and gauge which type of question is the other party is more comfortable with.
2) Relate to your audience.
You see a female stranger in a store who seems to have problems choosing between 2 dresses. You walk up to her and smileÂ…
You : “ The black one seems to go well with your necklace and shoes”
Relate to her situation without complimenting how she looks. Give her positive advice that is real and sincere.
The wrong way to approachÂ…
You : “I think you look beautiful in that black dress”
(compliment her when you donÂ’t know even know her. Her shield will be up immediately)
Hope it helps.