I Am New Here!!!
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eh wait, iceflame, u c-riously married or just play play or like engaged onli or wat???
realone or not????
not say i dun blif or wat lo, just confirming my suspicions..... -
See lahz.. told u not to give cold hug liaoz. Still say u got both hot and cold.. An indication that ur nick is not as good as Bear's... hee hee... Let ur gf hug and all will be alright liaoz lahz.. hee hee...
Think she feels that u r best stored in the wardrope, so that girls will not be able to steal u away from her.. hee hee...
On a serious note, I believe ur wife-to-be may be having this problem. No doubt a marriage is a happy thing, the reason behind is linked to the marriage is in her mind hence she not that happy. (I'm not picking here, nor despising here.) No doubt both of u are going to be papa and mama, but still she may feel that it's a 'sad thing' for this marriage to occur so early.
Hope u know wat I mean.. Dun want to make it so explicit to hurt u also..
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
No LAr, Play Play wan....Originally posted by t|rEd:eh wait, iceflame, u c-riously married or just play play or like engaged onli or wat???
realone or not????
not say i dun blif or wat lo, just confirming my suspicions.....
realli wan lar.
went to ROM liao, u say lei
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wow...........
okiez...
congrats.....*still in a state of shock*
bear: help slap my jaw back to its original state can???? hee~ =)
newae, u da 2nd person i noe's who's like engaged n getting married at this age......my fren ah, now 18 onli lo...but she not preg yet la. hee~ not shot-gun marriage okies. =))) -
Bear: no lar, i understand tat u not picking on mi lar, dun worry. maybe u are rite tat she tink its still early. but cant she juz spare a tot fer mi?Originally posted by Bear:See lahz.. told u not to give cold hug liaoz. Still say u got both hot and cold.. An indication that ur nick is not as good as Bear's... hee hee... Let ur gf hug and all will be alright liaoz lahz.. hee hee...
Think she feels that u r best stored in the wardrope, so that girls will not be able to steal u away from her.. hee hee...
On a serious note, I believe ur wife-to-be may be having this problem. No doubt a marriage is a happy thing, the reason behind is linked to the marriage is in her mind hence she not that happy. (I'm not picking here, nor despising here.) No doubt both of u are going to be papa and mama, but still she may feel that it's a 'sad thing' for this marriage to occur so early.
Hope u know wat I mean.. Dun want to make it so explicit to hurt u also..
if not happi, then dun marry lar. or can't she spend some time understanding mi.
pai sei meh, if shot-gun. even if pai seh oso no point. rite????
still dun understands her..........
or izzit most gal are like tat???? -
iceflame: relac abit......u're pretty stressed up by this rite? lax.......*uses aromatherapy* scents the whole room* relax alvin.....ok, i dunno much lo, but hor, mebbe bear is rite. but mebbe she's not paiseh bout shotgun marraige? mebbe she' frightened by the thought of da resposibilities of marriage....mebbe she scared she wun be a good mama/wife to u n ur kida leh??? she still young noe...
give her sometime lo...dun pressurize her.
i noe u oso feel pressurized. mebbe u oso feeling troubled, by things like supporting the family and stuff lo. (dunno la) newae, talk to each other...communicate...if such problems/fers u oso dun tell each other, den u'll find it bery difficult to live together lo........(actually, not necessary la, dunno la...but most prolly lo) put urself in her shoes b4 askign her to put herself in ur shoes. mebbe she has......i dunno....talk it out best way lo.....plus, remember lo, i think it is at this period she mebbe feeling quite vulnerable in a sense lo...
make her feel secure kz? =))
good luck, and may god bless this marriage between the two of u. =)) -
ya, she realli scared of the resposibilities of marriage. Especially up-bringin our child. she once told me say wat, buy milk fer baby lei, look after the baby lei, coz she scared she dunno how to take care of our child. coz tat time she carry my baby cousin mah, then she dunno how to carry her. man... u should realli see how she look tat time ar. so cute n funni. then i say come lar, i carry lar. hahahaaaOriginally posted by t|rEd:iceflame: relac abit......u're pretty stressed up by this rite? lax.......*uses aromatherapy* scents the whole room* relax alvin.....ok, i dunno much lo, but hor, mebbe bear is rite. but mebbe she's not paiseh bout shotgun marraige? mebbe she' frightened by the thought of da resposibilities of marriage....mebbe she scared she wun be a good mama/wife to u n ur kida leh??? she still young noe...
give her sometime lo...dun pressurize her.
i noe u oso feel pressurized. mebbe u oso feeling troubled, by things like supporting the family and stuff lo. (dunno la) newae, talk to each other...communicate...if such problems/fers u oso dun tell each other, den u'll find it bery difficult to live together lo........(actually, not necessary la, dunno la...but most prolly lo) put urself in her shoes b4 askign her to put herself in ur shoes. mebbe she has......i dunno....talk it out best way lo.....plus, remember lo, i think it is at this period she mebbe feeling quite vulnerable in a sense lo...
make her feel secure kz? =))
good luck, and may god bless this marriage between the two of u. =))
k back to topic,
see lar, even u as my friend noes tat i'm pressurized. dosen it ocurs to her tat i'm pressurized? well. i may not look pressurized, coz i dun show how bad i feel to others wan. but she should noe wat. zhe mong shou, we steady fer 2 yr 1mths liao she shld noe mah.
i pressure on the $$$ side and my studies lei. then i now looking fer a better job so as to attain enough $$$ fer our marrige lei.
i oways wanted to tok to her abt it. but whenever i want to tok abt it, she seems to advoid it like tat, i hurts mi real bad noe.
dunno she advoid mi or reality???? -
iceflame:
I know u r rite when u ask y can't she spare a tot for u too.. But think of it this way.. She will also be thinking abt the same thing. Asking herself y can't u spare a tot for her too. It will go rd and rd and will not stop.. and things will get worse in the end. I'm sure u dun want that to hap also rite?? I'm NOT (amended late, sorryz) trying to say that u shld give in all the way also, but I believe u show some signs of giving in and care for her, she will also understand and return u some mahz.. Isn't this a better way to work out? rather that the both of u. start to point fingers at each other. Okie.. maybe u may say she will take things for granted, but think of it this way. If u have done ur part I'm sure u can at least tell her that u already done ur best, and there are instances which u can relate to. Unlike now, u can only quarrel wif her. now u blame this she blame that. no point also rite?
she's also lost at this point of time... Suddenly she's bearing a lot of responsibilities. It's something that she's not comfortable wif and also not ready for as it's something new yet have a huge impact in her life...
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
[This message has been edited by Bear (edited 10 February 2001).] -
sorrie but i decided not gif advice on this coz i scared later gif worngly wat;s more i m still young, dun understand wat u guys r going true. juz think b4 doing anything drastic. and smile always....
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it's alright.. there's no such thing as a wrong answer or a wrong reply. Maybe a suggestion is from a diff pooint of view which all of us missed out lehz?? It's just contributing ideas that's all. no harm done
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
stewpig bear: once again u've stolen wat i wanted to say to him........haizz....y u always liddat??!!! must leave somethings for me to say ma......newaez, u did la. heh~
yolanda: like wat bear said (again...) it's only a matter of opinions lo. there's no such thing as the correct advice or wat. u say u young, not s if i very old liddat. thou' older than u, i may not really be musch more mature than u are in terms of thoughts. therefre, it's sorta ok to give ur view on this lo. =) we are just like all saying wat we think lo...it's really up to alvin to decide wat he shud do in the end..... =))
alvin: reply to u next post..... -
ya yolanda. no one will blame u fer it wan lar. its juz opinion mah. no harm wan
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*re-charging battery*Originally posted by IceFlame:ya, she realli scared of the resposibilities of marriage. Especially up-bringin our child. she once told me say wat, buy milk fer baby lei, look after the baby lei, coz she scared she dunno how to take care of our child. coz tat time she carry my baby cousin mah, then she dunno how to carry her. man... u should realli see how she look tat time ar. so cute n funni. then i say come lar, i carry lar. hahahaaa
k back to topic,
see lar, even u as my friend noes tat i'm pressurized. dosen it ocurs to her tat i'm pressurized? well. i may not look pressurized, coz i dun show how bad i feel to others wan. but she should noe wat. zhe mong shou, we steady fer 2 yr 1mths liao she shld noe mah.
i pressure on the $$$ side and my studies lei. then i now looking fer a better job so as to attain enough $$$ fer our marrige lei.
i oways wanted to tok to her abt it. but whenever i want to tok abt it, she seems to advoid it like tat, i hurts mi real bad noe.
dunno she advoid mi or reality????
*prepares for long long speech*
ok, let's start *lets go long breath of air* hmmzz....rem da chinese idiom "pang guan zhe qing, dang ju zhe mi"? yep, tt's exactly da case tt's happening now lo......me watch a lotta tv one ma (tt's how i noe u're actually pressurized), reading loadsa mag oso helps lo...newae, it's just plain coz i'm not involved in this marriage, tt's y i'm able to put myself in both ur shoes, and experience and learn for myself wat u pple are going thru' lo...da stress level is quite high when u really come to think bout it lo.....scares me even thou' i'm an outsider...
anyway, most important thing i have to say to u hor, is that "marriage is b/w the two of u". not tt u haven't realised or wat, just tt mebbe in black n white easier to understand. hee~ <-- crap...newae, yar, such problems u really have to tok it out b/w the two of u n try to solve.....get her to sit down n face the music, yet, do it the soft way, by showing her u really really care and is bery concerned bout her and the problems tt u two are facing lo...let her know tt by talking it out, althou' it may not solve the problem, but u'll understand more bout each other.....talking it out will let the two of u actually understand wat each other is going thru'.....and most importantly, i'm quite sure it'll make u love her more, and her love u more.....coz as i've said, by talking bout the worries, it actually shows tt u care bout each other a whole lot, and u really wanna make the marriage b/w e two of u work lo....=))
understand now?? =) this period hor, sensitive n vulnerable stressful period lo...cannot be harsh to her hor...wait she run away......must treat her with ultra-sensitivity lo.....tt's how i feel la...
newae, i m aware of ur complaints of her not being sensitive to ur needs lo....but realise tt althou' this is da 21st century, women are still every bit as vulnerable as they are when they come to such major decisions which will affect their whole life. not tt guys are not vulnerable at this point lo, but like the bible says, a woman is made up of a part of man's ribs. she needs alotta moral support now lo....u noe, u're better off than her in the sense tt u have u. =) u are actually able to tell us how u feel, ur problems, ur worriez, whereas, she may not have such kinda moral support. she's looking for the support from u, her future husband, her other half. we are here for u all the time, but for her, do u noe if she has like ne chummies whom she can really talk bout these thingies to??? =)
well, bear has actually talked bout the she not understanding, n she sayign u not understanding, and tt merry-go-round thingy lo...dun think there's nething tt bear left out on tt. =) agree with him...since u are of the stronger sex (sorry la, no purposeful discrimination here lo....but seems to me like she's really really very very cui ruo now lo...so u must be strong for her understand???), u qian jiu her abit lo......(me abit straight hor, for the next line) if ni lian zhe me xiao xiao de wen ti dou jie jue bu liaoz, den how's ur marriage going to last??? <-- really sorry for saying such harsh words to u lo....
btw, i dun think she's hurting u on purpose by avoiding the problems lo....just plain afraid of facing them as she's at a lost as to wat to do.....dun dare to face them, so choose to run away, to avoid lo....she avoiding the problem not u lo. rem tt.....=)
lastly, if u have ne difficulties rite, dun hesitate to come to us lo. =) u noe tt ur gang of chummies here will always be there to give u constant support, and to help u thru'out rite? =)
gd luck hor........oh ya, last advice lo....leng3 jing4 de4 qu4 si1 kao3....bie2 wei4 le4 yi4 shi2 zhi1 qi4 er2 nong4 qiao2 fan3 zhuo1... -
iceflame:
this time t|rEd has spoken my mind... In additon to that, u have to understand even women is not of the weaker gender, still u have to be more understanding towards her. Coz she's carrying a child. she may be going thru a phase of life which u and I wun understand coz we are guyz. There are things we tot will be so small and dun even give a wink at it. but still to the girls, ur wife in this case, they may be rather bothered by it coz they feel and see things differently abt the baby. To think they are carrying the child, the feel and think more for the child too.
hmm.. I suppose u muz be feeling rather stressed up coz we kept on telling u to do this and day to ur wife and child. Well, we perfectly understand ur situation too. We know that u want to buy better milk powder for the child, get better food for ur wife, and to let ur wife sleep on a better mattress and stuff like that. and she has been avoidind the problems and feelings in ur heart. Maybe just try to talk to her.. let her feel comfortable. coz she may be irritated rather easily at this stage. Make it a session for her to voice out her feelings, urself to share ur tots, and work out a good plan for the both of u, and the child. Maybe hard, but just try. I mean try comforting her and also coax her to say out how she feels, then ur turn. it's like walking u have to let a foot forward first before the other can move too. One at a time to speak. even then u may it wun work.. but say have u try?
This is chance for u to relief that plans and quaries that u have trap in u.. and also for her to let her heart out. I'm sure it will turn out good coz even if there's not final conclusion she will still understand ur position better and so do u abt her too.
anyway just a word of caution. I know u r looking for some $$$, we'll try to help u on that okie?? but no guarantees. On the other hand u have to watch out, coz if u work extra hours it will mean lesser time to speand wif her and may make her feel even loss, coz u r not there when she needs u. She may have develope the chan3 hou4 you1 yu1 zhen4. though not many pple gets it, but chances is ther. I'm sure u care for u wife a lot if not u wiun have wanted to stretch urself so much to give them a better living environment. So just a word of caution...
t|rEd:
can't agree more wif u.. well said well said think even better than wat I could do. And also thanx for helping me, correcting my small but vital error... just only saw it today and amended it liaoz.. Thanx.. And dun say I din give u space to let u breath horz.. I din steal the whole show this time.
Funny to hear that u r not feeling in the other post. when u r doing well here. thin u r also juz stressed up wif ur own stuff... life becomes hectic and hence less time and too tired to think and feel much.. Not to worryz... u r perfectly fine, at least sane in the eyes of a future psychologist.. he ehee..
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
=))) u're welcomiez........newaez, this one is a totally new problem for me to actually help lo...so it's like, there's part interest there......newaez, of coz i'm still sane lo.....din say i not ma....=) hee~ just say i'm tired.......tired of handling the same problems over and over again....(sorry to say this lo...) thou' it's like same problem but different in the sense tt it took place at a diff time, on a diff person, and gives a whole new perspective....u get wat i mean? how i feel is just tt coz i keep trying to look at similar problems from diff POVs, it's rather tiring lo......i mean, u'd understand me better than others, coz we r both like the kind who like to share others problems, n not trouble them with urs ma....so the bottle, oredi half full with my own problems get filled with problems of pple who come to AA lo.....den when it starts overflowing, i'll start feeling really tired.....i'll feel drained of my resources, coz the bottle is like getting really heavy.......u understadn wat i mean rite? =)Originally posted by Bear:t|rEd:
can't agree more wif u.. well said well said think even better than wat I could do. And also thanx for helping me, correcting my small but vital error... just only saw it today and amended it liaoz.. Thanx.. And dun say I din give u space to let u breath horz.. I din steal the whole show this time.
Funny to hear that u r not feeling in the other post. when u r doing well here. thin u r also juz stressed up wif ur own stuff... life becomes hectic and hence less time and too tired to think and feel much.. Not to worryz... u r perfectly fine, at least sane in the eyes of a future psychologist.. he ehee..
well, thnx newae for sharing the stage with me =)) hee~
alvin: as usu, i have to say it's all up to u, n we can only do this much for u lo. =) me agree totally with wat beaer mentioned in his post. =))) think it thru'. dun rush into gettin to a decision of some sort lo....take it slow. u still got time......=)
lax hor!! take care of ur health!!! -
No prob... Understand wat u mean.. giving the same prob a different view.. and even then all the different angles will be used up, so it becomes harder and harder for u to come up wif something new each time, esp to many of the familiar probs that we see in the forum.. Know wat u mean by that. Dun worryz lahz. go out take a deep breath, take in some fresh air, breathe in some ammonia gas, have some esther... then u will feel better... and be more inspired.... Will be waiting for u here...Originally posted by t|rEd:=))) u're welcomiez........newaez, this one is a totally new problem for me to actually help lo...so it's like, there's part interest there......newaez, of coz i'm still sane lo.....din say i not ma....=) hee~ just say i'm tired.......tired of handling the same problems over and over again....(sorry to say this lo...) thou' it's like same problem but different in the sense tt it took place at a diff time, on a diff person, and gives a whole new perspective....u get wat i mean? how i feel is just tt coz i keep trying to look at similar problems from diff POVs, it's rather tiring lo......i mean, u'd understand me better than others, coz we r both like the kind who like to share others problems, n not trouble them with urs ma....so the bottle, oredi half full with my own problems get filled with problems of pple who come to AA lo.....den when it starts overflowing, i'll start feeling really tired.....i'll feel drained of my resources, coz the bottle is like getting really heavy.......u understadn wat i mean rite? =)
well, thnx newae for sharing the stage with me =)) hee~
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear
[This message has been edited by Bear (edited 12 February 2001).] -
aiyah, read my friendship salad.
forumites r cool,
like bear, tired and larry
Always b like them
to the other's who's name not here, sorrie, i couln't put u in becoz this kind of poem got some kind of order -
woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh din noe here so happening...mind if I join in the chat??
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Thank you for loving me baby
You'll always be the one who drives me crazy
I think this is a gift from God to have you here..
Thank you for loving me baby
I'll treasure all your love and all the things we share..
And I wanna tell you, how much I love you..... -
toopid FnU, u dun come here extra extra, purposely try to provoke things hor. =Þ *bleah* just jokign la. =)Originally posted by FATnUGLY:woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh din noe here so happening...mind if I join in the chat??
u're welcome here!!!! but please hor, crapping oso got limit okiez....
newaez, i doubt if u've got the time to actually come here. =) ain't u busy enuff with ur wIfEy n ur own forum??? hee~ -
Long time never say FnU liaoz.. since I last visited Chitchat...
Welcome....
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear -
hahaahahahaaha so long liaoz still call your papa toooopid..i tot u forgot liaoz..i tink i will still crap..but not too much in here la..here quite serious oneOriginally posted by t|rEd:toopid FnU, u dun come here extra extra, purposely try to provoke things hor. =Þ *bleah* just jokign la. =)
u're welcome here!!!! but please hor, crapping oso got limit okiez....
newaez, i doubt if u've got the time to actually come here. =) ain't u busy enuff with ur wIfEy n ur own forum??? hee~ 
FnU
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Thank you for loving me baby
You'll always be the one who drives me crazy
I think this is a gift from God to have you here..
Thank you for loving me baby
I'll treasure all your love and all the things we share..
And I wanna tell you, how much I love you..... -
yo Bear!!! hows life man!!! long time no see too..Originally posted by Bear:Long time never say FnU liaoz.. since I last visited Chitchat...
Welcome....
wads ya doing now?? FnU
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Thank you for loving me baby
You'll always be the one who drives me crazy
I think this is a gift from God to have you here..
Thank you for loving me baby
I'll treasure all your love and all the things we share..
And I wanna tell you, how much I love you..... -
Basically patrolling this area and giving directions and hugz to pple who are new.. hee hee...
How's life for u?
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Barely Bearing Berry Belly Bear