A Heartless Cad...a true story
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Hey thanks, Laosu/Feow Feow for the effort to remind me so. I will definitely take more caution and review the content more meticulously before I post any issues in future.Originally posted by laosu:To add on to FF's words, I seriously don't think you should be posting this in here especially with so much information of the guy.
May I ask if your friend knows of you posting her story in here? I'm not very well verse in law but then if her ex-husband knew of this, you could be sued for flaming and it could deteriored yoru friend's chance to fight for alimony.
My suggestion for you is to stop this post immediately and suggest to your friend to engage a PI to gather evidence of her ex-husband's affair and his current income status. It won't save her marriage (not worth saving either if it's of what you commented) but she can and has the rights to fight for higher alimony and child support from the ex-husband. It'll in a way help to lessen her financial burden a bit. -
Hmm....after reading your bits, I went to re-read my written content again and I can see where you are coming from. It's really neither here nor there...want to reveal his identity but yet not really doing so which makes it look real lousy. So I don't blame you folks for doubting my credibility. I will definitely be more decisive in terms of objective-setting in future but of course, bearing in mind the few don'ts Feow Feow and laosu has kindly pointed out earlier. Regardless, thanks for telling me thisOriginally posted by jOhO:want to tell story tell halfway.. wat his coy just acquired which coy, work in changi south? wat's the point.
u wanna tell the story objectively to do a public service by warning potential victims go ahead and do it clean, or else just whack his name and ic number lar?
half fark for wat? discredits yourself really.
good luck to your friend, if the story is real.
As for the story, I do wish with all my heart that it is not real but unfortunately it is. -
Pardon me, but I believe you've only heard from one side of the story..?Originally posted by skyward:You know what? I find that among all the responses to this subject, this is the one that really touches the chord in my heart. Ultimately it is we ourselves who are responsible for what we do and act.
It's like what binarynwitz and mistyblue have said, wrongdoer do get scot-free (he may found true love and live happily ever after) and the kind-hearted ones may not get rewarded at the end of the day. We can't control and judge the others.
Anyway like what my friend (the 'single mum') has told me, no matter what happen, life still goes on and is full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all!!
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Nope, two sides. He was open with all that he wanted OUT, both of marriage and fatherhood. Anyway he is mixed up inside...he couldn't see the full picture cos' he is simply self-centered. Last I heard, even his family is trying to boot him out....Originally posted by Devil1976:Pardon me, but I believe you've only heard from one side of the story..? -
well, skyward i support your cause in this thread except the part about revealing much details on this guy!!! altho the moderators dont lol!! i do hope that your friend is doing well now and she has absolutely done the right thing. well, yes retribution will befall the baddies =) sooner or later, but it will happen. sadly, this case is so common over the globe, immoral men taking wives in foreign countries without a thought for their own families back in their hometown. i personally already know of people whom have done this and i find this really sad.
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Originally posted by skyward:Hi all,
my friend told me a very sad story which I would like to share with you..
She thought she had it allÂ…a perfect husband, a 2-yr toddler, a good career, a newly acquired flat and a car. She was grateful for her good fortune but never thought that all will come crashing down when she had her second pregnancyÂ…
Her husband, for unknown reason, went into shock and could not accept it even though the second child is mutually agreed upon initially. On her visit to her gynae, she and her husband were informed that it could be a rare case of non-developing fetus and to be given two more weeks for further observation by then an abortion will be done, should the growth be stagnant. Her husband went ahead to Japan for business trip on the day of clinical appointment without offering to lend any support. She was devastated when told that there is going to be no baby after all and has to go through with the abortive day surgery.
Thereafter their marriage went downhill without her knowing why as her husband became cold and distantÂ… He distanced himself so much that she could no longer bear it and moved out of the flat with her son. It was 1 month later that she heard from his cousin that he had committed adultery and the business trip was in fact a rendezvous with a married Japanese woman. His lover is scheduled to move to Singapore to live with him.
She accepted her husbandÂ’s change of heart and without further delay, initiated the divorce to give way to the couple. She declined her rightful matrimonial contribution from her husband as she knows that her husband does not earn much and has to do his part for his loverÂ’s lodging.
Subsequently, he wept pitifully at every stage of the divorce proceedingsÂ…Â…requesting my friend not to proceed further. He even said that the Nihon romance is over and will not resume even if he is divorced, as he is now sobered to know that his lover who has low moral values. My friend did not bulge in her decision because while he claimed that it is over, both he and his lover are still spotted often together round the island. When questioned, he said it was on the ground that he is just helping her, a foreigner in Singapore.
During this period, he left his company scandalized, as his peers learnt quickly of what he has committed. He progresses well in his new company, since no one knows what he has done before.
My friend and her son are the ones who are paying for his error as she struggles with her house, job and her son. Day in, day out, she rushed from childcare center to work, work to childcare center. Back home, she has to handle their meals and household chores. She refused to burden her family with what has happened to her. She carried all these out silently and can only weep into the darkness of the night after her son has gone to bed.
After the divorce, he completely complies with my friendÂ’s wishes and didnÂ’t bother to enquire after them, even though he knew about their pitiful plight.
Her son began asking for his daddy when he turned 3. Feeling guilty and tormented, she called his ex-husband and asked if he would like to visit his son. He agreed, and the boy delightedly took to his father.
He told my friend that he is equally pitiful as he wanders at a loss during the night and have had no one for company. He works long hours to numb his sorrow and guilt.
Upon hearing that and for the sake of her son, she took her son to his company premises and asked forgiveness from her ex-husband for her impulsiveness at filing divorce. Oh boy, was he furious when he learnt of this. He verbally slashed out at her and refused to meet them for fear that his peers in his new company will come to know what he has done. He threatened my friend and left them waiting by the road side. He only showed his face and forced them home when he saw them leaving the premises for the coffee store nearby. Surprise of surprise, he reprimanded her ruthlessly when she suggested reversing the flat ownership and reinstating their marriage.
It was later that she realized with a few facts from his family that all he said is a pack of lies and it is just a clever plot played by him. He has been staying out, sleeping at his lover’s place and he is not as pitiful as he seems. He is still dock out in his best personal clothes and grooming. He has changed new phones while my friend could not afford one. He has cleverly strategized his moves to have my friend proceed with divorce while he acted the “good” guy who wants to salvage the marriage… once the objective is attain, he finally showed his true colours and motives.
For such a shameless cad, I see the need to have justice done and his deed exposed. He is getting scot-free and enjoying the success of his career, his woman without paying a single cent for the family he has abandoned while my friend (with her toddler) is paying a high price for his sin.
He is working in a US-based leading EMS (electronics manufacturing services) provider (located in Changi South Lane) who bought over the local firm JIT Holdings back in Aug 2000. From what I last know, he is handling a project under Hewlett Packard.
Although he has good looks and seemingly goody-two-shoes image, he is rotten to the core Â…
Hey folks out there, if you happen to know who he is, be forewarnedÂ… donÂ’t be deceived by him. Remember still water runs deepÂ…and I hope he will have his just retributions soon.
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From all that you've said, I can only come up with 3 possible conclusions...Originally posted by skyward:Nope, two sides. He was open with all that he wanted OUT, both of marriage and fatherhood. Anyway he is mixed up inside...he couldn't see the full picture cos' he is simply self-centered. Last I heard, even his family is trying to boot him out....
1. This is in fact your own story, typed in 3rd party's sense.
2. You're biased in your judgement. In fact, you're often(?) easily provoked by your own emotions. (which is quite strong in this case)
3. You're telling all truth, and the guy is indeed a very guilty party.
But based on what you've stated in your original story...
1. It seems that you're more biased than not.
2. There are some calls for the defence of the guy, but you seems very reluctant to defend him.
3. Your cause for the above (point 2) could be that you know the story very well from inside out. And as you have CLAIMED, he has ADMITTED that he's a VERY GUILTY PARTY.
4. He should not have admitted such to you unless he's very close to you. Otherwise he could have just spoken of it in moments of anger or despair, which greatly reduce the validity for your claim for knowledge of the 2 sides to the story.
5. The way you've phrased it in your story does not suggest you're close to him.
6. If you're really close to him, you shouldn't have post this to spoil his reputation. (refer to point 5) Unless you post this just out of anger or moment of emotional woes.
7. The way you replied suggest that it's not just emotional woes you're experiencing when you 1st started this topic, but a lasting one. Which suggest that either you're strongly affected by the woes (you could be the involved party) or you're simply an emotional person who post greatly based on what you FEEL and not necessarily facts. (hence make your story and replies biased)
8. If you're really close to him and you still do this to him (post this thread to spoil his reputation), suggest that you could be even so MUCH MORE CLOSER to his wife (if you're not herself), which gives further BIASED statements.
Personal note
Sorry that you have to read this, as I'm often not interested into such details. Just that there're too many such threads as yours around, and people who read them just BUY them based on their own EMOTIONALS and NOT rational...
I admit that I do not know that guy and did not really speak up for him. Just that many of your claims poked holes in my thoughts... It's really quite 'easy' to ACCUSE (not saying that you're doing that) someone and set up a thread like this without having really to bear much consequences...
To other forumites reading,
I simply seized this as an example, many others which I've not even bother to mention a word.. Pls read SENSIBLY and more INTELLIGENTLY when you come across such topics again...
THANK YOU. -
It's ok, as long as it's noted : )
On another note, I agree with what fellow mod Devil has said. It's Not that we do Not sympathise with your friend's situation, sure I do. However, being outsiders, we have to maintain an objective view & an open mind. Dev is Not attacking you personally, please understand that, & try Not to get too worked up : )
FeowFeowOriginally posted by skyward:Hey thanks, Laosu/Feow Feow for the effort to remind me so. I will definitely take more caution and review the content more meticulously before I post any issues in future. -
Hi Devil,Originally posted by Devil1976:From all that you've said, I can only come up with 3 possible conclusions...
1. This is in fact your own story, typed in 3rd party's sense.
2. You're biased in your judgement. In fact, you're often(?) easily provoked by your own emotions. (which is quite strong in this case)
3. You're telling all truth, and the guy is indeed a very guilty party.
But based on what you've stated in your original story...
1. It seems that you're more biased than not.
2. There are some calls for the defence of the guy, but you seems very reluctant to defend him.
3. Your cause for the above (point 2) could be that you know the story very well from inside out. And as you have CLAIMED, he has ADMITTED that he's a VERY GUILTY PARTY.
4. He should not have admitted such to you unless he's very close to you. Otherwise he could have just spoken of it in moments of anger or despair, which greatly reduce the validity for your claim for knowledge of the 2 sides to the story.
5. The way you've phrased it in your story does not suggest you're close to him.
6. If you're really close to him, you shouldn't have post this to spoil his reputation. (refer to point 5) Unless you post this just out of anger or moment of emotional woes.
7. The way you replied suggest that it's not just emotional woes you're experiencing when you 1st started this topic, but a lasting one. Which suggest that either you're strongly affected by the woes (you could be the involved party) or you're simply an emotional person who post greatly based on what you FEEL and not necessarily facts. (hence make your story and replies biased)
8. If you're really close to him and you still do this to him (post this thread to spoil his reputation), suggest that you could be even so MUCH MORE CLOSER to his wife (if you're not herself), which gives further BIASED statements.
Personal note
Sorry that you have to read this, as I'm often not interested into such details. Just that there're too many such threads as yours around, and people who read them just BUY them based on their own EMOTIONALS and NOT rational...
I admit that I do not know that guy and did not really speak up for him. Just that many of your claims poked holes in my thoughts... It's really quite 'easy' to ACCUSE (not saying that you're doing that) someone and set up a thread like this without having really to bear much consequences...
To other forumites reading,
I simply seized this as an example, many others which I've not even bother to mention a word.. Pls read SENSIBLY and more INTELLIGENTLY when you come across such topics again...
THANK YOU.
I'm truly impressed with the long thread on what you have so logically analyzed. I'm not sure if there is any point in addressing your doubts. But I want to openly admit that this is written at the spur of "my emotional woes" as you have concluded. I'm not sure whether you can understand but it is definitely a lasting emotional woe to deal with.... facing the little one cos' he never fail to ask me where his daddy is whenever I visit him and the heartbroken elderly parents on why this has happened. (based on your cue, I won't elaborate more else I'll be accused again of pulling more emotional stringthreads....)
I'm family to the guilty guy. The single mum is both my friend as well as in-law. Objectively, we can say that he is pursuing what he wants, and what is important to him since it is his life. Furthermore he has the right to make his choice. This is ok, provided there is no downstream impact. Unfortunately for him, there is a marriage he has committed, a son he has brought to this world. Admission of guilt, he did but the more crucial work of putting things right again, he didn't. I know this sound heartless... but his reputation can go to drain for all that I care. (sorry..I know this sound biased again).
No, pls don't say sorry for voicing out aloud what has "poked your thoughts". I can understand your skepticism. On the contrary, I'm very much flattered and humbled by the effort you have put in to analyze this case.
In any case, sharing this story online seems like a wrong impulsive move but nevertheless I want to selfishly admit that it has help to dispel the "emotional woes" bottled inside me.
Last, I would like to point out that genuinely "troubled" people who wrote in to "Aunt Agony" usually have "rationale" and "sensibility" either absent or last in queue in their mind which is WHY the rationality of advice as well as comments are sought after.