Originally posted by reyes:
was reading other forums when i stagger into this thread.
i suffer from split personality, freq mood swing.
come from poor family, dad dont work mom work hard to support family.
dispite poor me and my sister dont give mom problems and pass successfully everyyear till sec 4(express).
O level results good. but family poor so had to sign on army to further studies in poly.
hated military, but had to endure 9 years in there. cant break bond coz cant afford to pay and need income to support family.
till then i have lotsa guy friends but never pop with gals as i was shy.
like a gal but she play me out, use me as a bait to reconcile with her ex bf.
badly hurt .
change myself and outlookg and out for revenge. play feeling with manygals, enjoy seeing them get hurt. when home, i stil good and responsible son who take care of family.
left army after contract, start working in private sector. found a gf . she uni grad. i only poly grads. got mob a few times by her UNI friends(auditors working in big 5), decide to left her for good. hate myself good for nothing.
work in sales after army, fail terribly, low self resteem. low morale. left company after a year. stop working for 6 mths. and spent another 3 mths searching for job. lower morale and more hatred towards society.
finally got a job. work hard. got married. kinda bad marriage because of freq arguement. blame myself.
promoted 3 times in 4 year. career look bright, but recently suspect wife having affair. low morale in work, short temper, and stop talking in house. act happy in office. hatred return. start to blame whatever not happy to the society. indulge in gambling shares, spent time with friends than family.
i think i could have mental problems. but yet when come to work i think rationally and perform well. but when home, stop talking and spent time alone makingmodel kits and reading history books. told myself, i over suspicious my wife and she cant be. but cant get it off head. the more i think, the morei frustrated.
am i sick or what?
No, you are not sick or mental yet. But if you continue dwell on this malcontent of yours, you might jolly well be on track to becoming one pretty soon.
Be thankful for what you have at the moment. Since when is the last time you stopped doing what you are doing at the moment and be THANKFUL for what you have right now?
For all you know, your mum worked hard for you and your sister. She could really have done worse you know? And whatever military past, ex-gals, current wife suspected affairs that you're trying to get a gripe on...they all could have turned out a lot worse than what you had experienced. <- Did that ever occurred to you before?
From what I've read, you're having a good life at the moment. So brush out those negative thoughts and purged the past from your thoughts. Remember, they are past and in past tenses. So nothing that you're going to do now is going to get them back to the way which they should be in the first place. I probably forgotten to tell you that you're actually supposed to learn something from those situations when it happens. But it seems that you certainly took the easy way out of those situations, and now you're complaining of sufferings because of something which you happened to recall?
You must realise that at this point onwards, you should not look back at what should've happened and what should've been done. It's already been so long, so just let them be a sad memories to you and look forward to create happier memories with your wife and family from now on. The key is to Let Go.
Do think for once that there are plenty more unfortunate people out there who doesn't have the luxuries of painful recollections. I'm sure everyone out there is carrying a pain of their own and moving on with their everyday lives. And it's fair to say that everyone has their own tolerance of the amount of pain which they can withstand, and nobody carries the equal amount of pain with them. Some just deal with their own pains in their own way or simply grind through life together with their pain for the sake of their loved ones and people who loved them.
It's true that society plays a major part of our working lives and thanks to those living bastards out there for distributing their pain onto others. But at the end of the everyday, we have a choice of choosing either happiness or sadness. So I implored you to think positively...think positively on your current strengths, wealth, domestic securities, and future plans.
Be grateful to people who are nice to you and do not seek out revenge on your enemies unless they happened to cross your path again. If they are so unfortunate to cross path with you again, be sure to bring them pain to them without mercy as mercy is for saints.
Be positive and thankful to your life and I'm sure that you'll do more than just fine. Seek happiness and happiness will come your way, seek anger and all you'll get is sadness and miseries.
So, good luck.