How do I fight my excessive overconfidence and complacency?
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Whilst others are used to complaining about their lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, I guess I will have to do the direct opposite.
I have recently come to realise that I have attitude problems, particularly my overflowing self-confidence. True enough, I do not see this attribute of mine as a "problem" to be combatted, nor a "weakness" to be overcome, but just an innate trait of mine which I am surprisingly proud of and willing to own up to. This is essentially my issue -- I tend to think that I am perfect. Some people say this is optimism or harmless positivity, but others like to put it in other ways: narcissism, cockiness, self-denial and the list goes on, which is of course, a constant cause for concern. The more people tend to renounce me for being "arrogant," "boastful" and a "show-off," the more I feel the need to alter my attitude and rectify things. Eventually I had to succumb to social pressure and change my intrinsic qualities, which is very much like cheating myself if you think about it.
Firstly, I would like to honestly admit that I am a considerably good friend. I consider myself an excellent listener (I do not only trust myself, I have received various feedback on this), a helpful person and a fair entertainer. People say I inject humour into their lives, and I can only feel like I am over the moon when I get comments which indirectly inflate my self-ego. But things constantly turn sour when I start to make shameless, self-praising proclamations, or comment on others in a negative fashion and tone. I have the habit of making snide comments which insinuate that I am better than others like, "look at that idiot; he needs me to teach him how to sing" and "if you beat me in , I will lick your ass." Yet these remarks are usually made spontaneously, with no blatant intent or purpose. They are all done in the name of harmless fun, yet no one tends to favour my point of view.
How am I so complacent in nature, you may ask? People say confidence is a direct result of excellence. If one happens to shine in a particular field, or possess something exclusive to himself and maybe only a few fortunate others (like a smokingly-hot girlfriend), he tends to exude self-belief and eventually builds a superiority complex of his own; is that not right? That being said, it is hard to remain humble once you become conscious of the fact that you are better than the rest. What do we call this mindset again, the we-them mentality? I consistently remind myself to uphold humility, and that was exactly what my parents and teachers reiterate from time to time anyway, but my self-control always turns out to be in vain. I tend to regress to the we-them mentality again whenever I feel that trying to stay modest does not change my life and others' perception of me to a degree that is adequately favourable; it does not have a tangible pay-off.
Perhaps it is my upbringing. There have been too many instances where my parents reassured me that I am a brilliant, obedient, mature, adorable and special child, and I even chose to believe them verbatim. My primary school years were very memorable too, I have never failed to be a Speech Day prize recipient every year, and I later gained admittance to a reputable secondary school where I continued to hone my academic prowess. I was outstanding on the sports field as well, and one would also hate to admit that I am pretty skilful with the girls. Yet I do not have a superstar outlook; I am average at best. But yet others regularly tell me that I am a fortunate individual (more crudely known as a lucky bas-tard) -- I have almost everything an adolescent could yearn for: marvellous grades, athletic proficiency, decent looks, a fairly wealthy family to live within, dear friends and various other talents. Yet I can still sense that something is amiss, a portion of my life is incomplete and marred.
My teacher had once seen me personally -- she commented that my essays reflected a high level of arrogance and smugness. True enough, I agreed with her, and she said there was a pressing need to address that issue, and that it should start from me. She stressed that although she did not have to worry about my grades, she had to worry about my alarming attitude and perception towards others. To quote her: "I may have to worry for the rest when it comes to their academic performance, but I do not need to worry for them in a way that I have to worry for you. Forget spiting and satirical remarks, you need to learn to assimilate with the rest." At first, I really saw her words as a direct challenge to my individuality, but then I thought it over again and she might just be right. Being too individualistic has its drawbacks, and it would seem to have successfully taken its toll on me. She even scoffed, "Are you going to Raffles Junior College? You know that you will fit right in, don't you?" obviously implying that big-headed people belong to their kind. What I found ironic and hard to believe was that she was a Rafflesian herself! Hell, I even followed her foot steps.
After painstakingly detailing the crux of my problem, I really hope that some kind soul can help me cope. Obviously it will be a daunting challenge to try to change others' impression of me -- this is not what I want either -- but I seriously hope that the new people I will soon meet see me in a more positive light, that is all I ask for. People say that JC is a new page in everyone's life. One can feel free to reinvent himself, individuate and basically "fix" what they deem necessary, which is exactly what I am doing now.
I need help, people. Thank you... -
wow.. im just going to watch more anis videos and concentrate on landing some combos.. *aerials away..
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Thread re-open -
u sound perfect for RJC
BAH! -
Sign up for singapore idol.
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singapore idol audition is not do cartwheel one lehOriginally posted by ditzy:Sign up for singapore idol. -
Good what. It'll pacify his overconfidence and complacency for sure.Originally posted by FireIce:singapore idol audition is not do cartwheel one leh -
Hi alvin....may I offer my opinion?
I think u should not reduce your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You should instead increase your respect, graciousness, tolerance for others.
Don't confuse them. Don't start to think that you need to reduce your inner belief that you're special, brilliant, a cut above the rest. It will be a very important determining factor for the rest of your life. It will define what kind of life and what kind of achievements you will have.
Build on it. For example, have ambitious goals.
What you need to do instead, is to increase your respect, graciousness, tolerance for others. Empathize more. For example, dont say 'look at that idiot I can sing better than him' . This shows 2 parts. First it shows you think he's an idiot. Second it shows you think you can sing better than him. Keep the second part. You can keep believing you can sing better. But discard the first part. Do you understand what I mean? If you can do this, you will not be arrogant or smug anymore. I hope you can think about it. -
Lean away from linking skills with personality.
A lousy driver has poor driving skills, but that does not make him an innately useless person right?
Sometimes, we cannot remove this confidence and cocksure-ness because it has been with us since young, and it has propelled us to great heights or kept us sane.Therefore, to get along with others, you have to shape this confidence into a force that can help others benefit from your abilities.
Be a conduit of assistance and concern, let your own strengths lift those weaker than you up.
And if you are religious, take comfort that your strengthes come from God, and it was Him that made you great, not you yourself.
Cheers. -
you need to fall then you will know the pain of falling down.Originally posted by RETARDED_MORON:Whilst others are used to complaining about their lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, I guess I will have to do the direct opposite.
I have recently come to realise that I have attitude problems, particularly my overflowing self-confidence. True enough, I do not see this attribute of mine as a "problem" to be combatted, nor a "weakness" to be overcome, but just an innate trait of mine which I am surprisingly proud of and willing to own up to. This is essentially my issue -- I tend to think that I am perfect. Some people say this is optimism or harmless positivity, but others like to put it in other ways: narcissism, cockiness, self-denial and the list goes on, which is of course, a constant cause for concern. The more people tend to renounce me for being "arrogant," "boastful" and a "show-off," the more I feel the need to alter my attitude and rectify things. Eventually I had to succumb to social pressure and change my intrinsic qualities, which is very much like cheating myself if you think about it.
Firstly, I would like to honestly admit that I am a considerably good friend. I consider myself an excellent listener (I do not only trust myself, I have received various feedback on this), a helpful person and an fair entertainer. People say I inject humour into their lives, and I can only feel like I am over the moon when I get comments which indirectly inflate my self-ego. But things constantly turn sour when I start to make shameless, self-praising proclamations, or comment on others in a negative fashion and tone. I have the habit of making snide comments which insinuate that I am better than others like, "look at that idiot; he needs me to teach him how to sing" and "if you beat me in , I will lick your ass." Yet these remarks are usually made spontaneously, with no blatant intent or purpose. They are all done in the name of harmless fun, yet no one tends to favour my point of view.
How am I so complacent in nature, you may ask? People say confidence is a direct result of excellence. If one happens to shine in a particular field, or possess something exclusive to himself and maybe only a few fortunate others (like a smokingly-hot girlfriend), he tends to exude self-belief and eventually builds a superiority complex of his own; is that not right? That being said, it is hard to remain humble once you become conscious of the fact that you are better than the rest. What do we call this mindset again, the we-them mentality? I consistently remind myself to uphold humility, and that was exactly what my parents and teachers reiterate from time to time anyway, but my self-control always turns out to be in vain. I tend to regress to the we-them mentality again whenever I feel that trying to stay modest does not change my life and others' perception of me to a degree that is adequately favourable; it does not have a tangible pay-off.
Perhaps it is my upbringing. There have been too many instances where my parents reassured me that I am a brilliant, obedient, mature, adorable and special child, and I even chose to believe them verbatim. My primary school years were very memorable too, I have never failed to be a Speech Day prize recipient every year, and I later gained admittance to a reputable secondary school where I continued to hone my academic prowess. I was outstanding on the sports field as well, and one would also hate to admit that I am pretty skilful with the girls. Yet I do not have a superstar outlook; I am average at best. But yet others regularly tell me that I am a fortunate individual (more crudely known as a lucky bas-tard) -- I have almost everything an adolescent could yearn for: marvellous grades, athletic proficiency, decent looks, a fairly wealthy family to live within, dear friends and various other talents. Yet I can still sense that something is amiss, a portion of my life is incomplete and marred.
My teacher had once seen me personally -- she commented that my essays reflected a high level of arrogance and smugness. True enough, I agreed with her, and she said there was a pressing need to address that issue, and that it should start from me. She stressed that although she did not have to worry about my grades, she had to worry about my alarming attitude and perception towards others. To quote her: "I may have to worry for the rest when it comes to their academic performance, but I do not need to worry for them in a way that I have to worry for you. Forget spiting and satirical remarks, you need to learn to assimilate with the rest." At first, I really saw her words as a direct challenge to my individuality, but then I thought it over again and she might just be right. Being too individualistic has its drawbacks, and it would seem to have successfully taken its toll on me. She even scoffed, "Are you going to Raffles Junior College? You know that you will fit right in, don't you?" obviously implying that big-headed people belong to their kind. What I found ironic and hard to believe was that she was a Rafflesian herself! Hell, I even followed her foot steps.
After painstakingly detailing the crux of my problem, I really hope that some kind soul can help me cope. Obviously it will be a daunting challenge to try to change others' impression of me -- this is not what I want either -- but I seriously hope that the new people I will soon meet see me in a more positive light, that is all I ask for. People say that JC is a new page in everyone's life. One can feel free to reinvent himself, individuate and basically "fix" what they deem necessary, which is exactly what I am doing now.
I need help, people. Thank you...
You have always been at the top and never felt what people at the bottom feel.
Have you ever slept at the void deck? Have you ever surive in singapore without money or friends? After saying so much have you ever help any people who are less able then you?
You are given the talent to make people happy but use it wisely. You can try helping out at the old age home or the orphan shelter. It will give an eye opener to the real world outside.
A person must never ever feel that he is better then the others cos in this world there is always someone better than you. -
The raven says: fcuk, please summarise in 10 words or less.
Thank you. -
+1Originally posted by Li Ka Shing:Hi alvin....may I offer my opinion?
I think u should not reduce your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You should instead increase your respect, graciousness, tolerance for others.
Don't confuse them. Don't start to think that you need to reduce your inner belief that you're special, brilliant, a cut above the rest. It will be a very important determining factor for the rest of your life. It will define what kind of life and what kind of achievements you will have.
Build on it. For example, have ambitious goals.
What you need to do instead, is to increase your respect, graciousness, tolerance for others. Empathize more. For example, dont say 'look at that idiot I can sing better than him' . This shows 2 parts. First it shows you think he's an idiot. Second it shows you think you can sing better than him. Keep the second part. You can keep believing you can sing better. But discard the first part. Do you understand what I mean? If you can do this, you will not be arrogant or smug anymore. I hope you can think about it.
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Wow! Your level of self confidence is perfect for the emulation of Annabel Chong's success!
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Originally posted by RETARDED_MORON:Whilst others are used to complaining about their lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, I guess I will have to do the direct opposite....
....How am I so complacent in nature, you may ask? People say confidence is a direct result of excellence. If one happens to shine in a particular field, or possess something exclusive to himself and maybe only a few fortunate others (like a smokingly-hot girlfriend), he tends to exude self-belief and eventually builds a superiority complex of his own; is that not right? That being said, it is hard to remain humble once you become conscious of the fact that you are better than the rest. What do we call this mindset again, the we-them mentality? I consistently remind myself to uphold humility, and that was exactly what my parents and teachers reiterate from time to time anyway, but my self-control always turns out to be in vain. I tend to regress to the we-them mentality again whenever I feel that trying to stay modest does not change my life and others' perception of me to a degree that is adequately favourable; it does not have a tangible pay-off.
Perhaps it is my upbringing. There have been too many instances where my parents reassured me that I am a brilliant, obedient, mature, adorable and special child, and I even chose to believe them verbatim. My primary school years were very memorable too, I have never failed to be a Speech Day prize recipient every year, and I later gained admittance to a reputable secondary school where I continued to hone my academic prowess. I was outstanding on the sports field as well, and one would also hate to admit that I am pretty skilful with the girls. Yet I do not have a superstar outlook; I am average at best. But yet others regularly tell me that I am a fortunate individual (more crudely known as a lucky bas-tard) -- I have almost everything an adolescent could yearn for: marvellous grades, athletic proficiency, decent looks, a fairly wealthy family to live within, dear friends and various other talents. Yet I can still sense that something is amiss, a portion of my life is incomplete and marred.
My teacher had once seen me personally -- she commented that my essays reflected a high level of arrogance and smugness. True enough, I agreed with her, and she said there was a pressing need to address that issue, and that it should start from me. She stressed that although she did not have to worry about my grades, she had to worry about my alarming attitude and perception towards others. To quote her: "I may have to worry for the rest when it comes to their academic performance, but I do not need to worry for them in a way that I have to worry for you. Forget spiting and satirical remarks, you need to learn to assimilate with the rest." At first, I really saw her words as a direct challenge to my individuality, but then I thought it over again and she might just be right. Being too individualistic has its drawbacks, and it would seem to have successfully taken its toll on me. She even scoffed, "Are you going to Raffles Junior College? You know that you will fit right in, don't you?" obviously implying that big-headed people belong to their kind. What I found ironic and hard to believe was that she was a Rafflesian herself! Hell, I even followed her foot steps.
After painstakingly detailing the crux of my problem, I really hope that some kind soul can help me cope. Obviously it will be a daunting challenge to try to change others' impression of me -- this is not what I want either -- but I seriously hope that the new people I will soon meet see me in a more positive light, that is all I ask for. People say that JC is a new page in everyone's life. One can feel free to reinvent himself, individuate and basically "fix" what they deem necessary, which is exactly what I am doing now.
I need help, people. Thank you...
You articulate well and you know the root of your problem. Mentally, you are gifted and through speech, you are able to paint a picture of yourself and your own flaws. You display the traits of a confident person for you have quite a complete self understanding. People who understand themselves well generally have better success because they tap on their strength and improve/conceal their weakness. This applies to all individualistic components in our life - (minus relationship... friendship and all those aspects that require a medium outside ourselves. Our self understanding cannot affect others, like others cannot affect our self perception/understanding without our permission).
Your flaws lie in your EQ, not IQ. You do understand that it is a negative trait to taunt and assert superiority over others. However, you find difficulty in changing, simply because you do not exactly see a reason why you should. It is as simple as that. People with superiority complex KNOW that they exude an air, but even through reality, they don't see a REASON why they shouldn't behave in this way. There are only two ways for you to have a complete change.
I) You are run by a ego-centric nature; however, life usually has it's own agenda on how to bring you back. It would be too naive to paint a peaceful picture of life and when personal crisis arises, your ego would be deflated and crushed, which will then give you the concrete reason/s WHY you should practice humility. When that happens, most people with superior complex are brought down from their apex (how much depends on how critical the crisis smashed on him/her and how much enlightenment he/she gains from the setback).
I came from a relatively good school and seen how such people behave in school. Years later, as we all grew up, it became quite saddening, for these 'back-then-cool kids' have terribly screwed up their lives or have lost their shine. I don't think people pity them much, probably felt they deserved it. In fact, the run of the mill fare much better in society.
You may nickname yourself retarded moron because you are anticipating what could bring you down. Like what you have said - a challenge to your individuality. The first card of a Tarot Deck is The Fool - a young, aggressive soul embarking on his inaugural journey in life. Remember that you are only 16 years old and the route of life is still a long way to go.
II) I am quite sure that your missing void is because you are spiritually empty. And I am also pretty certain that you are not religious and your mind functions and behaves practically. You may probably have a religion, but you are not spiritual enlightened. You may excel in the two worlds - physical and emotional satisfaction, but beyond that, your soul is missing that piece of puzzle.
You should speak with people with high spiritual evolvement and listen to what they could offer you in advice. If you have a religion, explore your religion and seek for reason/s that could undo your superiority complex. It can do you good if you are able to place yourself in environment where people are in the lower segmentation in this society. By doing charitable work and volunteering, you WILL get to bathe in the essence of humility and with time, wisdom will allow you to understand why you should remove yourself from ego-centric mindset and adopt humanistic understanding... that even yourself and the person next to you, are subjected to birth, aging, sickness and death.
You need to feel it in your bone, the reason why you should change and this has to be an active search. If not, nothing will happen and you will remain in this manner until something force changes into you.
Cheers -
oh man.. that's something very hard to do leh.....
HOW TO FIGHT SOMETHING THAT DUN REALLY EXIST?
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well bud...now you are talking...
arrogance is something that nobody likes...
since you are already conscience of your high level of arrogance...guess that is the first step already taken...
u know what arogant people should feel?
they should understand the depths of failure to everything...
they must know what is failure...
let me ask you something...is there something that u want but never got? -
Obtain singapore citizenship and serve NS when you reach the age of 18.
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Originally posted by Yunhaier: You articulate well and you know the root of your problem. Mentally, you are gifted and through speech, you are able to paint a picture of yourself and your own flaws. You display the traits of a confident person for you have quite a complete self understanding. People who understand themselves well generally have better success because they tap on their strength and improve/conceal their weakness. This applies to all individualistic components in our life - (minus relationship... friendship and all those aspects that require a medium outside ourselves. Our self understanding cannot affect others, like others cannot affect our self perception/understanding without our permission).
Your flaws lie in your EQ, not IQ. You do understand that it is a negative trait to taunt and assert superiority over others. However, you find difficulty in changing, simply because you do not exactly see a reason why you should. It is as simple as that. People with superiority complex KNOW that they exude an air, but even through reality, they don't see a REASON why they shouldn't behave in this way. There are only two ways for you to have a complete change.
I) You are run by a ego-centric nature; however, life usually has it's own agenda on how to bring you back. It would be too naive to paint a peaceful picture of life and when personal crisis arises, your ego would be deflated and crushed, which will then give you the concrete reason/s WHY you should practice humility. When that happens, most people with superior complex are brought down from their apex (how much depends on how critical the crisis smashed on him/her and how much enlightenment he/she gains from the setback).
I came from a relatively good school and seen how such people behave in school. Years later, as we all grew up, it became quite saddening, for these 'back-then-cool kids' have terribly screwed up their lives or have lost their shine. I don't think people pity them much, probably felt they deserved it. In fact, the run of the mill fare much better in society.
You may nickname yourself retarded moron because you are anticipating what could bring you down. Like what you have said - a challenge to your individuality. The first card of a Tarot Deck is The Fool - a young, aggressive soul embarking on his inaugural journey in life. Remember that you are only 16 years old and the route of life is still a long way to go.
II) I am quite sure that your missing void is because you are spiritually empty. And I am also pretty certain that you are not religious and your mind functions and behaves practically. You may probably have a religion, but you are not spiritual enlightened. You may excel in the two worlds - physical and emotional satisfaction, but beyond that, your soul is missing that piece of puzzle.
You should speak with people with high spiritual evolvement and listen to what they could offer you in advice. If you have a religion, explore your religion and seek for reason/s that could undo your superiority complex. It can do you good if you are able to place yourself in environment where people are in the lower segmentation in this society. By doing charitable work and volunteering, you WILL get to bathe in the essence of humility and with time, wisdom will allow you to understand why you should remove yourself from ego-centric mindset and adopt humanistic understanding... that even yourself and the person next to you, are subjected to birth, aging, sickness and death.
You need to feel it in your bone, the reason why you should change and this has to be an active search. If not, nothing will happen and you will remain in this manner until something force changes into you.
Cheers +2 and try to be humble, if you have not being in their shoes, then from now onwards, whatever you say or do, think "what if your in their shoes, and someone calls you something that u dislike-let's say perhpas a 'moron' how would you feel??
as for being humble, you have to practise this, if not next time should you start to step into the working society, you will face a lot of hr related problems, as your too high up to ask for help from other colleagues...resulting in you being a solo in the job...be humble, there are always someone who is smarter, better then you in every single way, just that you don't know only...
although i must admit, being confident is good, but over-confidence will bring about your downfall, no one will like you if your too confident...even if you know your good, still be humble, just bear in mind this "there will be better ppl in terms of all aspects better then you..." so be humble -
Why arent I surprised? I think I need to purchase some suprise potions. Anyone has them for sale?
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Yr confidence is a good thing if it's met with a compatible environment.
Look at Jonathan from amazing race. He's aggressive, overconfident, makes sarcastic remarks, arrogant and he's from a well to do family but everyone he deals with finds him overbearing.
Tone down yr confidence level by:
1) Don't talk if unnecessary. Be conscious whenever you open yr mouth to speak. For a start, give compliments to everyone for little things to get into the habit.
2) You need to share and give more of yourself to others. Spending time with less fortunate will tone down yr arrogance.
3) Think positive for every situation and circumstance and about everyone, no matter how you feel about them.
Follow these 3 steps for a start and you will find yourself on the way to become a balanced person. Maintain all other aspects that gives you that confidence level.
Good Luck! -
Where's my thread starter? Let's see the response.
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You don't need help, you need a babysitter.
FeowFeowOriginally posted by RETARDED_MORON:Whilst others are used to complaining about their lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, I guess I will have to do the direct opposite.
I have recently come to realise that I have attitude problems, particularly my overflowing self-confidence. True enough, I do not see this attribute of mine as a "problem" to be combatted, nor a "weakness" to be overcome, but just an innate trait of mine which I am surprisingly proud of and willing to own up to. This is essentially my issue -- I tend to think that I am perfect. Some people say this is optimism or harmless positivity, but others like to put it in other ways: narcissism, cockiness, self-denial and the list goes on, which is of course, a constant cause for concern. The more people tend to renounce me for being "arrogant," "boastful" and a "show-off," the more I feel the need to alter my attitude and rectify things. Eventually I had to succumb to social pressure and change my intrinsic qualities, which is very much like cheating myself if you think about it.
Firstly, I would like to honestly admit that I am a considerably good friend. I consider myself an excellent listener (I do not only trust myself, I have received various feedback on this), a helpful person and an fair entertainer. People say I inject humour into their lives, and I can only feel like I am over the moon when I get comments which indirectly inflate my self-ego. But things constantly turn sour when I start to make shameless, self-praising proclamations, or comment on others in a negative fashion and tone. I have the habit of making snide comments which insinuate that I am better than others like, "look at that idiot; he needs me to teach him how to sing" and "if you beat me in , I will lick your ass." Yet these remarks are usually made spontaneously, with no blatant intent or purpose. They are all done in the name of harmless fun, yet no one tends to favour my point of view.
How am I so complacent in nature, you may ask? People say confidence is a direct result of excellence. If one happens to shine in a particular field, or possess something exclusive to himself and maybe only a few fortunate others (like a smokingly-hot girlfriend), he tends to exude self-belief and eventually builds a superiority complex of his own; is that not right? That being said, it is hard to remain humble once you become conscious of the fact that you are better than the rest. What do we call this mindset again, the we-them mentality? I consistently remind myself to uphold humility, and that was exactly what my parents and teachers reiterate from time to time anyway, but my self-control always turns out to be in vain. I tend to regress to the we-them mentality again whenever I feel that trying to stay modest does not change my life and others' perception of me to a degree that is adequately favourable; it does not have a tangible pay-off.
Perhaps it is my upbringing. There have been too many instances where my parents reassured me that I am a brilliant, obedient, mature, adorable and special child, and I even chose to believe them verbatim. My primary school years were very memorable too, I have never failed to be a Speech Day prize recipient every year, and I later gained admittance to a reputable secondary school where I continued to hone my academic prowess. I was outstanding on the sports field as well, and one would also hate to admit that I am pretty skilful with the girls. Yet I do not have a superstar outlook; I am average at best. But yet others regularly tell me that I am a fortunate individual (more crudely known as a lucky bas-tard) -- I have almost everything an adolescent could yearn for: marvellous grades, athletic proficiency, decent looks, a fairly wealthy family to live within, dear friends and various other talents. Yet I can still sense that something is amiss, a portion of my life is incomplete and marred.
My teacher had once seen me personally -- she commented that my essays reflected a high level of arrogance and smugness. True enough, I agreed with her, and she said there was a pressing need to address that issue, and that it should start from me. She stressed that although she did not have to worry about my grades, she had to worry about my alarming attitude and perception towards others. To quote her: "I may have to worry for the rest when it comes to their academic performance, but I do not need to worry for them in a way that I have to worry for you. Forget spiting and satirical remarks, you need to learn to assimilate with the rest." At first, I really saw her words as a direct challenge to my individuality, but then I thought it over again and she might just be right. Being too individualistic has its drawbacks, and it would seem to have successfully taken its toll on me. She even scoffed, "Are you going to Raffles Junior College? You know that you will fit right in, don't you?" obviously implying that big-headed people belong to their kind. What I found ironic and hard to believe was that she was a Rafflesian herself! Hell, I even followed her foot steps.
After painstakingly detailing the crux of my problem, I really hope that some kind soul can help me cope. Obviously it will be a daunting challenge to try to change others' impression of me -- this is not what I want either -- but I seriously hope that the new people I will soon meet see me in a more positive light, that is all I ask for. People say that JC is a new page in everyone's life. One can feel free to reinvent himself, individuate and basically "fix" what they deem necessary, which is exactly what I am doing now.
I need help, people. Thank you... -
What has been mentioned above pretty much covers the ways you could go about to hide the level of self-knowledge that you are doing better than average among your peers. It was also mentioned above that if you don't feel the actual change coming from your heart and are only changing due to comments and pressure from friends, then you would grow to find it a chore to change and 'hide' yourself.
Seriously, I think people are made differently with their own sets of flaws so the world is a more colourful place. It is definitely true that the more you speak, you more likely you are to make hurtful comments or stuff like that. But if everyone keeps quiet about the observations around them, we would all be waiting for each other to make a comment. However unfair it is, the case is that among friends, there will always be comments about other people (otherwise known as gossip). If you seriously don't want to hurt others, or even if you don't wanna be labelled as snobbish or arrogant, just know the appropriate situation to say what is in your mind. Essentially, just think before you speak.
I am quite sure that you will grow out of this, because most guys at age of 16 are not even aware of their own flaws. As you said, you have a certain level of intellect to understand the order of things around you, but you haven't experienced life enough to put them in action and truly understand what this is all about. Moreover you are going to / in JC, which is pretty much an extension of Secondary life. If you went Poly, you would definitely be more exposed to people less likely to put up with your attitude / treat you as the popular guy. Don't worry, when NS or work comes, you'll probably realise why it is so important 1) Not to hurt people who are less capable than you to defend themselves. 2) To learn when to keep your thoughts to yourself. 3) That you know there is ALWAYS someone smarter than you, especially if you go into a specialized field of work.[/url] -
i remember i started a thread about him/her few weeks ago.. where is he/she???!?!?!?!11Originally posted by charlize:The raven says: fcuk, please summarise in 10 words or less.
Thank you. -
Oh dear..can we switch places for just one day only...plsssssssssss????
Never mind la, one way to lower your self esteem is to really get into the real world....sadly, your academic poweress (like you so proud of i assume) won't help you much. Err, good luck to you