How do I fight my excessive overconfidence and complacency?
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You are only 16yrs old but you articulate like a 30yr old with a PhD.
You are only 16yrs old but you have already realised your flaws in life.
You are only 16yrs old but you are as matured as a 21yr old.
But Remember:
You are only 16yrs old. There's much to be seen in the real world. You will soon face love, hate, betrayal and desire. Only then, you'll grow up and come to understand the word 'Humility'.
I believe you'll turn out to be a fine young man soon. Intelligence is a gift from your parents. It does not purely belong to you. -
eh? u remind me of an irritating CHS guy in my class, everyone wanna whack him up but he still speaks like he's the best of the world..
Only diff is u noe where is ur fault and u're willing to change..
Good luck or continue to be hated by ur classmates/friends/enemies.
*cheerios -
Simply, u need to learn the meaning of humility. I was in the same position as u. So i can empathise with your feelings. It took a complete failure to bring me down. With the help of true friends I stood up again. My advise to you: Recognise your true friends and treat them with humility, before things turn for the worst. No man is an island
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if you know where your fault lies in , then learn to be humble...being humble in the working society will enable u to last longer in the company. It also applies to having friends....ppl also dun like to have frenz who are full of themselves...take note...
if you don't know where to get help...consult ur teachers...for they have taught a lot of students..so its best that u seek help from them.
Originally posted by RETARDED_MORON:Whilst others are used to complaining about their lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, I guess I will have to do the direct opposite.
I have recently come to realise that I have attitude problems, particularly my overflowing self-confidence. True enough, I do not see this attribute of mine as a "problem" to be combatted, nor a "weakness" to be overcome, but just an innate trait of mine which I am surprisingly proud of and willing to own up to. This is essentially my issue -- I tend to think that I am perfect. Some people say this is optimism or harmless positivity, but others like to put it in other ways: narcissism, cockiness, self-denial and the list goes on, which is of course, a constant cause for concern. The more people tend to renounce me for being "arrogant," "boastful" and a "show-off," the more I feel the need to alter my attitude and rectify things. Eventually I had to succumb to social pressure and change my intrinsic qualities, which is very much like cheating myself if you think about it.
Firstly, I would like to honestly admit that I am a considerably good friend. I consider myself an excellent listener (I do not only trust myself, I have received various feedback on this), a helpful person and an fair entertainer. People say I inject humour into their lives, and I can only feel like I am over the moon when I get comments which indirectly inflate my self-ego. But things constantly turn sour when I start to make shameless, self-praising proclamations, or comment on others in a negative fashion and tone. I have the habit of making snide comments which insinuate that I am better than others like, "look at that idiot; he needs me to teach him how to sing" and "if you beat me in , I will lick your ass." Yet these remarks are usually made spontaneously, with no blatant intent or purpose. They are all done in the name of harmless fun, yet no one tends to favour my point of view.
How am I so complacent in nature, you may ask? People say confidence is a direct result of excellence. If one happens to shine in a particular field, or possess something exclusive to himself and maybe only a few fortunate others (like a smokingly-hot girlfriend), he tends to exude self-belief and eventually builds a superiority complex of his own; is that not right? That being said, it is hard to remain humble once you become conscious of the fact that you are better than the rest. What do we call this mindset again, the we-them mentality? I consistently remind myself to uphold humility, and that was exactly what my parents and teachers reiterate from time to time anyway, but my self-control always turns out to be in vain. I tend to regress to the we-them mentality again whenever I feel that trying to stay modest does not change my life and others' perception of me to a degree that is adequately favourable; it does not have a tangible pay-off.
Perhaps it is my upbringing. There have been too many instances where my parents reassured me that I am a brilliant, obedient, mature, adorable and special child, and I even chose to believe them verbatim. My primary school years were very memorable too, I have never failed to be a Speech Day prize recipient every year, and I later gained admittance to a reputable secondary school where I continued to hone my academic prowess. I was outstanding on the sports field as well, and one would also hate to admit that I am pretty skilful with the girls. Yet I do not have a superstar outlook; I am average at best. But yet others regularly tell me that I am a fortunate individual (more crudely known as a lucky bas-tard) -- I have almost everything an adolescent could yearn for: marvellous grades, athletic proficiency, decent looks, a fairly wealthy family to live within, dear friends and various other talents. Yet I can still sense that something is amiss, a portion of my life is incomplete and marred.
My teacher had once seen me personally -- she commented that my essays reflected a high level of arrogance and smugness. True enough, I agreed with her, and she said there was a pressing need to address that issue, and that it should start from me. She stressed that although she did not have to worry about my grades, she had to worry about my alarming attitude and perception towards others. To quote her: "I may have to worry for the rest when it comes to their academic performance, but I do not need to worry for them in a way that I have to worry for you. Forget spiting and satirical remarks, you need to learn to assimilate with the rest." At first, I really saw her words as a direct challenge to my individuality, but then I thought it over again and she might just be right. Being too individualistic has its drawbacks, and it would seem to have successfully taken its toll on me. She even scoffed, "Are you going to Raffles Junior College? You know that you will fit right in, don't you?" obviously implying that big-headed people belong to their kind. What I found ironic and hard to believe was that she was a Rafflesian herself! Hell, I even followed her foot steps.
After painstakingly detailing the crux of my problem, I really hope that some kind soul can help me cope. Obviously it will be a daunting challenge to try to change others' impression of me -- this is not what I want either -- but I seriously hope that the new people I will soon meet see me in a more positive light, that is all I ask for. People say that JC is a new page in everyone's life. One can feel free to reinvent himself, individuate and basically "fix" what they deem necessary, which is exactly what I am doing now.
I need help, people. Thank you... -
Hey, thank you guys. You people have really been helpful to say the least.
I am currently at a junior college now, coping fairly well I guess. so I hope it will all turn out good... -
Hey, i think you are a little prick who needs a reality jolt. I was once an elitist too and i believed i was the better than everyone else in IT. It turned out that i was indeed better than everyone in Singapore.
However, when i start to put myself up against foreigners, i realized that i was actually lacking in alot. Something i cannot deny is that foreigners are much more skilled in IT, e.g. the founder of a large security firm in US is just a teenager, me on the other hand is still struggling with TCP/IP concepts.
Anyway, the point is that Singaporeans are generally lousy and not worth comparing yourself against. The fact that you got so full of yourself when compared with your emo classmates exhibited how shallow you truly are. You have to learn it by hard -- Me > You.
main () {
int me, you;
for (;me>you;me++) {
cout << "I am always MORE THAN you, prickhead!";
}
return 0;
} -
I hope its not ACJC.Originally posted by RETARDED_MORON:Hey, thank you guys. You people have really been helpful to say the least.
I am currently at a junior college now, coping fairly well I guess. so I hope it will all turn out good...
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this thread is funny
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u shld stop thinking that u are better than everyone else.... it brings problems later
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well dude..
u know ur flaws urself..
And you have know it for so long..
since u know where the problem lies.. then change it.
what do u expect us to say?
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It was not meant to be.Originally posted by alexkusu:this thread is funny -
Originally posted by RETARDED_MORON:Whilst others are used to complaining about their lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, I guess I will have to do the direct opposite.
I have recently come to realise that I have attitude problems, particularly my overflowing self-confidence. True enough, I do not see this attribute of mine as a "problem" to be combatted, nor a "weakness" to be overcome, but just an innate trait of mine which I am surprisingly proud of and willing to own up to. This is essentially my issue -- I tend to think that I am perfect. Some people say this is optimism or harmless positivity, but others like to put it in other ways: narcissism, cockiness, self-denial and the list goes on, which is of course, a constant cause for concern. The more people tend to renounce me for being "arrogant," "boastful" and a "show-off," the more I feel the need to alter my attitude and rectify things. Eventually I had to succumb to social pressure and change my intrinsic qualities, which is very much like cheating myself if you think about it.
Firstly, I would like to honestly admit that I am a considerably good friend. I consider myself an excellent listener (I do not only trust myself, I have received various feedback on this), a helpful person and a fair entertainer. People say I inject humour into their lives, and I can only feel like I am over the moon when I get comments which indirectly inflate my self-ego. But things constantly turn sour when I start to make shameless, self-praising proclamations, or comment on others in a negative fashion and tone. I have the habit of making snide comments which insinuate that I am better than others like, "look at that idiot; he needs me to teach him how to sing" and "if you beat me in , I will lick your ass." Yet these remarks are usually made spontaneously, with no blatant intent or purpose. They are all done in the name of harmless fun, yet no one tends to favour my point of view.
How am I so complacent in nature, you may ask? People say confidence is a direct result of excellence. If one happens to shine in a particular field, or possess something exclusive to himself and maybe only a few fortunate others (like a smokingly-hot girlfriend), he tends to exude self-belief and eventually builds a superiority complex of his own; is that not right? That being said, it is hard to remain humble once you become conscious of the fact that you are better than the rest. What do we call this mindset again, the we-them mentality? I consistently remind myself to uphold humility, and that was exactly what my parents and teachers reiterate from time to time anyway, but my self-control always turns out to be in vain. I tend to regress to the we-them mentality again whenever I feel that trying to stay modest does not change my life and others' perception of me to a degree that is adequately favourable; it does not have a tangible pay-off.
Perhaps it is my upbringing. There have been too many instances where my parents reassured me that I am a brilliant, obedient, mature, adorable and special child, and I even chose to believe them verbatim. My primary school years were very memorable too, I have never failed to be a Speech Day prize recipient every year, and I later gained admittance to a reputable secondary school where I continued to hone my academic prowess. I was outstanding on the sports field as well, and one would also hate to admit that I am pretty skilful with the girls. Yet I do not have a superstar outlook; I am average at best. But yet others regularly tell me that I am a fortunate individual (more crudely known as a lucky bas-tard) -- I have almost everything an adolescent could yearn for: marvellous grades, athletic proficiency, decent looks, a fairly wealthy family to live within, dear friends and various other talents. Yet I can still sense that something is amiss, a portion of my life is incomplete and marred.
My teacher had once seen me personally -- she commented that my essays reflected a high level of arrogance and smugness. True enough, I agreed with her, and she said there was a pressing need to address that issue, and that it should start from me. She stressed that although she did not have to worry about my grades, she had to worry about my alarming attitude and perception towards others. To quote her: "I may have to worry for the rest when it comes to their academic performance, but I do not need to worry for them in a way that I have to worry for you. Forget spiting and satirical remarks, you need to learn to assimilate with the rest." At first, I really saw her words as a direct challenge to my individuality, but then I thought it over again and she might just be right. Being too individualistic has its drawbacks, and it would seem to have successfully taken its toll on me. She even scoffed, "Are you going to Raffles Junior College? You know that you will fit right in, don't you?" obviously implying that big-headed people belong to their kind. What I found ironic and hard to believe was that she was a Rafflesian herself! Hell, I even followed her foot steps.
After painstakingly detailing the crux of my problem, I really hope that some kind soul can help me cope. Obviously it will be a daunting challenge to try to change others' impression of me -- this is not what I want either -- but I seriously hope that the new people I will soon meet see me in a more positive light, that is all I ask for. People say that JC is a new page in everyone's life. One can feel free to reinvent himself, individuate and basically "fix" what they deem necessary, which is exactly what I am doing now.
I need help, people. Thank you...
What kind of impression you want people on you? You are overly-concerned with how others think of you.. how about start loving yourself by accepting your own flaws.. simply be human.. is this what you think you are lacking? Human touch ?
Having good in grades and constantly assured by others that you are good, excellent, Positively Labelling by others..( hey is it not a bad thing but overly-praises is over rated )
From your post, i detected that your self-esteem has been bulit on external factors from praises by your parents, friends and teacher. You are concerned with how others think of you, especially since your upbringing, your external environment such as results play a huge factors in moulding your own self-belief /identity. You could mst likely be label as as winner by somebody..
Note the sentence in Red, i assume that you are feeling kind of segregated from the rest ( even though in reality, you may not be segragated physically ).. Is it becos of your excessive Pride and your judgemental self and others?