How To Win Her Back
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Loving someone is abt trust. I always believe marriage is a lifetime commitment and normally when one say says, it is a lifetime commitment. At least I know how to commit myself in a relationship even when the sparks are gone. I am trying to tell her that we should learn how to bring in commitment even when the sparks are gone.Originally posted by MiX Metal:you have a big heart being still able to trust her after what she has done to you ...... putting marriage as a bet hoping that she will change is a big risk ......
but then again, no one knows what's going to happen in the future so ..... I may disagree with the way you think ..... I'm keeping my fingers cross for you.
Please take sometime to think things through before doing anything .......
However, she does not think it is worth it. Cos females are emotional creatures. If no feelings, then how to continue as many ladies will tell us if they want a breakup.
I can even win her back now. What future can I still think of? Basically, I am bumping around everyday. -
all human beings are emotional creatures, not only females or else what different are we from animals ? saying that the sparks are gone is jus a better way of saying they don't love you anymore, nothing last forever, not even diamonds.....Originally posted by AnimalArmy:However, she does not think it is worth it. Cos females are emotional creatures. If no feelings, then how to continue as many ladies will tell us if they want a breakup.
I can even win her back now. What future can I still think of? Basically, I am bumping around everyday. -
That would be her form of mentality... You simply can't drill your kind of thinking into her blindly...?Originally posted by AnimalArmy:Loving someone is abt trust. I always believe marriage is a lifetime commitment and normally when one say says, it is a lifetime commitment. At least I know how to commit myself in a relationship even when the sparks are gone. I am trying to tell her that we should learn how to bring in commitment even when the sparks are gone.
However, she does not think it is worth it. Cos females are emotional creatures. If no feelings, then how to continue as many ladies will tell us if they want a breakup.
I can even win her back now. What future can I still think of? Basically, I am bumping around everyday. -
Originally posted by AnimalArmy:
I think u can forget abt her and go look for another one. And she will nv ever go back to u..EVER..that's the word. Why? Her actions have proved everything . And she doesnt have any interest in you anymore. And stop pestering her becos u will only look like a weakling. Why would she want a weakling? Think abt it. The fact that she 2-timed you showed her interest in you has diminished and she has liked another guy..and the chances of u getting her back is like saying pigs can fly.
Hi peeps,
Seriously need everyone's help? Anyone actually patches back with his ex-gf before? I haf bottle my problems for months. I cannot take it anymore. Pls help.
[b]My Story
The relationship was like a fairy tale initially. But then, neglection, misunderstanding and disagreements set in...
Broke off twice. An on both occasions, third party was involved.
1st occasion, she went steady with another guy without letting me noe. I thought the breakup was just as simple as that but until my friend told me that she is in fact seeing another guy even before we broke up. However, I accepted her again.
2nd occasion, happens 6 mths later, this time she was close with another guy and went out with him behind my back. However, I tried to accept her back but she told me the feelings are really gone for good.
Question 1: I cannot believe that if u (as in her) claim to love someone so dearly, how can u hold someone's hand and become a 2-timer? Are her words too cheap to believe?
Question 2: I did all I can when we patched back the first time round. Sincerity and hard work does not help to save the relationship. I dunno what else I can do to save the relationship?
Question 3: My love for her is genuinue and I can accept her flaws and even accept the fact that she 2 time me. I dunno what she wants from me? Even though she claims I can be the best boyfriend?
Question 4: How can I save this relationship cos I did hate her after the 2nd occasion and pester her non-stop by calling her and waiting for her to come home. End up we quarrelled and at some time, it was pretty ugly. I regretted my actions and now she does not even want to talk to me. What can I do? I cannot be blamed for what I did cos I am the victim...
Question 5: She grew from strength to strength and yet I am living in a pathetic world of my own. I am lost, very lost. What can I do?
[/b]
Im sorry for being harsh to you. But that's the reality out there and stop getting hurt by a gal..there are better ones out there. How many times do u have to be snubbed by her before u can get the message? Stop making any contact with her anymore. It's simply a waste of ur time and energy. Buck up your pride and dignity and never be insulted by her again. If u dun believe me u can try all u wan to win her back...but u will have to suffer a lot more anguish i tell u.
If she calls u back one day tell her u are busy with a gal and say u talk next time.
Remember there are better gals out there who should give u respect if they really like u. -
Actually I really want to ask you seriously if you really understand what is the true meaning of love.Originally posted by AnimalArmy:Loving someone is abt trust. I always believe marriage is a lifetime commitment and normally when one say says, it is a lifetime commitment. At least I know how to commit myself in a relationship even when the sparks are gone. I am trying to tell her that we should learn how to bring in commitment even when the sparks are gone.
However, she does not think it is worth it. Cos females are emotional creatures. If no feelings, then how to continue as many ladies will tell us if they want a breakup.
I can even win her back now. What future can I still think of? Basically, I am bumping around everyday.
"Loving someone is abt trust"
Nice statement from you i see humm since you trust your gf so much then why
this?
"Question 4: How can I save this relationship cos I did hate her after the 2nd occasion and pester her non-stop by calling her and waiting for her to come home. End up we quarrelled and at some time, it was pretty ugly. I regretted my actions and now she does not even want to talk to me. What can I do? I cannot be blamed for what I did cos I am the victim... "
You say that trust her then why hate her, why even borther to quarrel with her, pestering her non-stop and even waiting for her to come home?
Your words and actions do not match a single bit and how do you force a your gf to learn how to bring in commitment even when the sparks are gone.
Have you ever ask her whether she wants to be with you or not? you do not even respect her words and you want her to listen to you? You can commit in a relationship even when the sparks are gone but does not mean your gf can.
The result why she ran is becos she can no longer stand your ways of forcing your thoughts your ideas on her. She never want to commit then why force her to do it? You know she likes to play around then why should you want to change her ? Real love is accepting the person for whom she or him and not changing him or her to what you feel is right for you. -
Originally posted by zeny:Actually I really want to ask you seriously if you really understand what is the true meaning of love.
"Loving someone is abt trust"
Nice statement from you i see humm since you trust your gf so much then why
this?
"Question 4: How can I save this relationship cos I did hate her after the 2nd occasion and pester her non-stop by calling her and waiting for her to come home. End up we quarrelled and at some time, it was pretty ugly. I regretted my actions and now she does not even want to talk to me. What can I do? I cannot be blamed for what I did cos I am the victim... "
You say that trust her then why hate her, why even borther to quarrel with her, pestering her non-stop and even waiting for her to come home?
Your words and actions do not match a single bit and how do you force a your gf to learn how to bring in commitment even when the sparks are gone.
Well, I'm not forcing. In fact, I am trying to talk things out with her. End up she refused to listen.
Have you ever ask her whether she wants to be with you or not? you do not even respect her words and you want her to listen to you? You can commit in a relationship even when the sparks are gone but does not mean your gf can.
Well, she din even respect me in the first place. Well, sparks will definitely be gone in all relationship, it is a level of commitment. This is what a long-lasting relationship should be. I think u got the whole Love thing wrong.
The result why she ran is becos she can no longer stand your ways of forcing your thoughts your ideas on her. She never want to commit then why force her to do it? You know she likes to play around then why should you want to change her ? Real love is accepting the person for whom she or him and not changing him or her to what you feel is right for you.
I agree Real Love is abt accepting someone. She always wanted to change me. And she is the one who is not accepting everyone. -
The fact that a gal went off with another guy while still having a relationship is simply showing a disrespect.Originally posted by dokono:I think u can forget abt her and go look for another one. And she will nv ever go back to u..EVER..that's the word. Why? Her actions have proved everything . And she doesnt have any interest in you anymore. And stop pestering her becos u will only look like a weakling. Why would she want a weakling? Think abt it. The fact that she 2-timed you showed her interest in you has diminished and she has liked another guy..and the chances of u getting her back is like saying pigs can fly.
Im sorry for being harsh to you. But that's the reality out there and stop getting hurt by a gal..there are better ones out there. How many times do u have to be snubbed by her before u can get the message? Stop making any contact with her anymore. It's simply a waste of ur time and energy. Buck up your pride and dignity and never be insulted by her again. If u dun believe me u can try all u wan to win her back...but u will have to suffer a lot more anguish i tell u.
If she calls u back one day tell her u are busy with a gal and say u talk next time.
Remember there are better gals out there who should give u respect if they really like u. -
What do you think that shows?Originally posted by AnimalArmy:The fact that a gal went off with another guy while still having a relationship is simply showing a disrespect.
The fact is you are better off with another gal who does show u respect. Maybe u think on ur part both of u are having a r/s...but that's not really the case on her mind.
My suggestion: Stop contacting her for at least one week and see if she does contact you again. If yes, that's good. If no, find a new gal. Dun behave like you need her a lot. The more u try to win her back the more she gets turned off frm wat i see. U can try..see if im correct.
But my take is that she has no interest in you anymore. And so stop wasting any of ur time. It only makes u emotionally and mentally drained. Stop thinking she has any feelings for u. Dun overrate urself too much becos the fact she's with another guy shows u mean nothing to her.
Face the truth, it makes u stronger. -
Well, most gals will try to wait for the bfs to call them back when they insist of a breakup. Why gals get turn off when u try to win her back? Not all gals r fortunate enuff to have the ball in the hand.Originally posted by dokono:What do you think that shows?
The fact is you are better off with another gal who does show u respect. Maybe u think on ur part both of u are having a r/s...but that's not really the case on her mind.
My suggestion: Stop contacting her for at least one week and see if she does contact you again. If yes, that's good. If no, find a new gal. Dun behave like you need her a lot. The more u try to win her back the more she gets turned off frm wat i see. U can try..see if im correct.
But my take is that she has no interest in you anymore. And so stop wasting any of ur time. It only makes u emotionally and mentally drained. Stop thinking she has any feelings for u. Dun overrate urself too much becos the fact she's with another guy shows u mean nothing to her.
Face the truth, it makes u stronger.
I am not overrating myself. Its just too cruel for someone to just walk away with another guy while still having a relationship. I am not complaining but just stating my stand. -
Gals who always toy around with the word "Breakup" is just plain childish. I have friends whose gfs are like that. This is giving stress to the bfs. Sometime, we guys do not have so much time to entertain such nonsense.
I am not saying we are unwillingly to pacify some of the gals who keep playing with the word "Breakup" but I am just stating on behalf on my friends that sometimes we are completely drained after all these. Be it whether the gfs are saying for the sake of saying or just serious abt it. -
No i feel that guys who did no wrong should not call gals who did them wrong. We are not going to beg them. They shd do the calling. The thing is once it's over, it's game over. No point trying to cling onto lost hope.Originally posted by AnimalArmy:Well, most gals will try to wait for the bfs to call them back when they insist of a breakup. Why gals get turn off when u try to win her back? Not all gals r fortunate enuff to have the ball in the hand.
I am not overrating myself. Its just too cruel for someone to just walk away with another guy while still having a relationship. I am not complaining but just stating my stand.
Yes it's cruel but face it becos it's happened. Learn to accept it and move on. Remember u need ur pride. -
U know something? Gals with good character and still love u a lot will not play with such words. They wun stress their bf. What's the point of stressing a bf when she loves him so much?Originally posted by AnimalArmy:Gals who always toy around with the word "Breakup" is just plain childish. I have friends whose gfs are like that. This is giving stress to the bfs. Sometime, we guys do not have so much time to entertain such nonsense.
I am not saying we are unwillingly to pacify some of the gals who keep playing with the word "Breakup" but I am just stating on behalf on my friends that sometimes we are completely drained after all these. Be it whether the gfs are saying for the sake of saying or just serious abt it.
If u notice ur gf is saying something like this, be alert that the r/s is going haywire and taking a downturn. -
I understand. Its hard to find nice gals these days. I mean some may look like an angel but it actual fact, the heart is as rotten as a rotten apple. What's the point of keeping stressing on the bf. Sometimes, the gals say breakup because they are likely to be confused. Maybe at that moment, they feel that breaking up will solve the problem.Originally posted by dokono:U know something? Gals with good character and still love u a lot will not play with such words. They wun stress their bf. What's the point of stressing a bf when she loves him so much?
If u notice ur gf is saying something like this, be alert that the r/s is going haywire and taking a downturn.
Like what dokono says, if u sense any of such signals from your gf, beware. -
Correct. If u think u r right, then we should not be calling the gals up. But then, its a bit MCP. We guys should be forgiving.Originally posted by dokono:No i feel that guys who did no wrong should not call gals who did them wrong. We are not going to beg them. They shd do the calling. The thing is once it's over, it's game over. No point trying to cling onto lost hope.
Yes it's cruel but face it becos it's happened. Learn to accept it and move on. Remember u need ur pride. -
When you call and how you end up forgiving determines the relationship is latter a better or worse condition.Originally posted by AnimalArmy:Correct. If u think u r right, then we should not be calling the gals up. But then, its a bit MCP. We guys should be forgiving.
Cheers -
It's not abt being MCP. It's whether the situation is reasonable. In this context when the gal insist of a breakup why should the guy call back and beg her ?Originally posted by AnimalArmy:Correct. If u think u r right, then we should not be calling the gals up. But then, its a bit MCP. We guys should be forgiving.
2 years of NS have not toughened us up? but in the face of gals guys become weak so the r/s can be saved? It's not what a man should do. -
You need to move on man...its no use trying to win her back. This type of people will get ditched by both parties in future one.
If she doesn't love you, then forget it. Love can never be forced. -
This guy here refuses to accept reality...has a kind of teenage Singapore boy attitude which puts ladies off(fancy him taking Steven Gerard as an example in one of his replies...try a little more intellectual approach man?)he probably isnt very good at expressing himself or his "love" to the girl...so even when he is not IMPOSING his beliefs or his "love" on the girl...he seems like he is doing so...and to the girl of today...where does that lead you?
From his 1st post till today...about a month...and he is still agonising over issues which he should by now have made decisions. Worse, he found new issues to find fault with the girl...ZZZzzz...
From Christmas till now CNY...isnt it also a great time to meet new people? juz be nice and sincere and not stress oneself up? people would probably be drawn to you instead of the other way round...
I have committed some of the mistakes this guy has and felt humiliated used whatever...but what is important is he learns from it get over it and stop blaming others. True sometimes a person whom has done you wrong has to be blamed, but when you know it and continue to let the person hurt you? who is to blame here?
This guy also probably is letting this freakin problem of his affect other aspects of his life. There is probably nothing worth to be proud of in his studies or professional life...he lacks the kind of optimistic glow and confidence that a guy can get which attracts people to him....which means even lesser chances of meeting someone whom will take a chance with him...
Zzzzzz -
Originally posted by pilotsnoopy:This guy here refuses to accept reality...has a kind of teenage Singapore boy attitude which puts ladies off(fancy him taking Steven Gerard as an example in one of his replies...try a little more intellectual approach man?)he probably isnt very good at expressing himself or his "love" to the girl...so even when he is not IMPOSING his beliefs or his "love" on the girl...he seems like he is doing so...and to the girl of today...where does that lead you?
Taking Steven Gerard as an example is make this thread more interesting. Whether I am good in expressing myself, I know myself better.
From his 1st post till today...about a month...and he is still agonising over issues which he should by now have made decisions. Worse, he found new issues to find fault with the girl...ZZZzzz...
I am finding issues to discuss with everyone here. They are issues encountered by my friends.
From Christmas till now CNY...isnt it also a great time to meet new people? juz be nice and sincere and not stress oneself up? people would probably be drawn to you instead of the other way round...
I have committed some of the mistakes this guy has and felt humiliated used whatever...but what is important is he learns from it get over it and stop blaming others. True sometimes a person whom has done you wrong has to be blamed, but when you know it and continue to let the person hurt you? who is to blame here?
Whatever is the case, good people dun derserve what they should. I thought I am Da Fang enough to accept her back. But I dun blame her. I want everyone here to learn too.
This guy also probably is letting this freakin problem of his affect other aspects of his life. There is probably nothing worth to be proud of in his studies or professional life...he lacks the kind of optimistic glow and confidence that a guy can get which attracts people to him....which means even lesser chances of meeting someone whom will take a chance with him...
[color=red]When I am optimistic and confidence, I was said to be EGO. So what can I do? When I become pessismetic, u say no good. Haha... Everyone is expecting too much from each other. There will never be the perfect person.[color]
Zzzzzz -
go and win her back, u must prove yourself to be good enough than others.
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How to win her back if there is no feelings on her side?Originally posted by winterq:go and win her back, u must prove yourself to be good enough than others. -
if there are no feelings on her side it's near impossible to get her back...and that's the reality of life.Originally posted by AnimalArmy:How to win her back if there is no feelings on her side? -
GOOD QUESTION...Originally posted by AnimalArmy:How to win her back if there is no feelings on her side?
You be answering yourself to that..?
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I think we are in the same boat. You are not alone. My ex of 4.5 years also broke off with me twice and fell for other guy twice. Damn it man. She left me about 6 months ago. I am now working overseas so that I dont think of her so much. It really helps. The last time I spoke to her, she ask me to come back one day....I also duuno for what and I knew from her friends that she is getting engaged this coming June 06. Why she want me to come back...and can you all imagine that she is going to marry someone she knew for only less than a year...and 2 months ago she was still complaining to me about his current b/f...I can understand how you feel...but there is something I would like to advise you. You can still wait but I think you should open up your choices, dont be tele minded(just only focus on your ex)....get to know more girls and do more comparsion...maybe one day someone really good will come along...and I believe it will and if you are really fated together, your ex will come back to you otherwise you will be with someone who will really appreciate you...I have sort of 'stopped' my bleeding but the wound is still painful....I sometimes dreamt of my ex too....but I guess we have to let nature take its course......the ones that will come, will come....the ones that will leave, will leave.....and hope the following verses will help you whenever you think of your ex....thats what I do everytime she comes to my mind....and one more thing...keep yourself real busy....it really helps.....
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Jon: Still upset that she decided to cut me out completely. I did not do anything that bad. Any advice for a broken-hearted friend?
Jim: If you are convinced you didn't do anything bad, then it is her loss that she doesn't appreciate you enough. Also, you wouldn't want to be with someone who can't appreciate you as you are, right? So it's fine - really!
If you are nursing only an broken heart,
you are fortunate -
much more so than others nursing empty stomachs.
Bread and love.
One a material neccessity,
the other an emotional luxury.
Count your blessings
before you count
the pieces of your broken heart.
There is no time to despair (about youself),
when there is so much to repair (in this world).
Get over it and get on with it.
Be brave.
Be kind.
For yourself and everyone else.
I follow four dictates:
face it,
accept it,
deal with it,
then let it go.
– Chan Master Sheng Yen
Face it - because it's your consequences.
Accept it - because it's your responsibility.
Deal with it - because you should do something about it*.
Let it go - because you have changed, and so had the situation.
*by appropriate action, repentance and remedial action.
face it - not easy, takes courage, the pain and the agony, the suffering and the loss all not easy to face...
accept it - not easy either, takes courage. The anguish, the suffering, the sudden change and the pain not easy to accept... death is not easy to accept, but must accept nevertheless...
deal with it - not easy, takes plenty of courage, confidence and wisdom...
then let it go - not easy, takes plenty of courage too, wisdom and insight...
four simple lines - but extremely difficult for lay person to fulfill.
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